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he thinks i am cheating....
  • MissANicole
    Posts: 172Member
    Background- dh is gone for sometimes weeks at a time for work. I caught him talking to a certain ex that i would lk to rip her face off but thats a whole other story. He said he has stopped and i check phine records so no he doesnt speak to her unless he is calling from a diff phone. I have never cheated in any way.He does get upset bc i get attention from others. Just insecure i suppose. Anyhoo last night i was sleeping and didnt hear my phone. An hour ltr ds woke up and i checked the time on my phone and saw dh called and left a text sayin he loves me and misses me. So i text back sayin the same. I disnt call bc i was tryin to put ds back to sleep. Then he calls so i answer and he says who are u sleeping with. I say uh ur son. I was in a half sleep state. He says no i know ur cheating on me. I say no i wouldnt do that babe. Then blows up into a fight. He goes on to say thats why we had sex lk once when he was home last. I thought he was just tired so i did try and initiate a few times and was turned down. So now i know now the reason. So iguess i am wondering what to do to fix this and do you think he is cheating on me and just trying some reverse shit? Ahhhhh helpppp!!!!
  • [Deleted User]
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    well behaved women seldom make history
  • MissANicole
    Posts: 172Member
    I know how i feel too. It was just really strange and not lk him at all. He does get a lil insecure at times. But i am not one of those people who are lk hey i get attention so i gotta act on it. If i see someoe looking at me i assume i got something on my face or my hair looks lk shit or something. He on the other hand thinks someone is lookin at me so i must want them. I hope this is just nerves and jealously on his part. I hope he is not cheating but i feel the same as @mammateeroll. :'(
  • [Deleted User]
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  • MissANicole
    Posts: 172Member
    Yea Bitchhhh time it may be! I have that he is out on a job and this is going on. Its so childish. We made it thru his emotional affair thing. It was so hard. And now i feel lk he is doing something again by accusing me. I know people cheat. I have 3 kids and hardly have time to go to the damm bathroom alone, let alone cheat. I know it can be done. But. That's not the kind of person i am. He hasn't called all morning and i Dont want to call him right now either. I want to let it cool off. Then again i Dont want him thinking i am up to something. What do i do? I feel lk a kid again being so unsure of what to do
  • [Deleted User]
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    well behaved women seldom make history
  • MissANicole
    Posts: 172Member
    Thank you :-) i hope this works
  • [Deleted User]
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  • MissANicole
    Posts: 172Member
    I know. It took time almost a year to work thru the ex issue. I just hope it doesn't take as long for him to work thru his insecurities. He also told me i smelled lk a man when he last came home. I use his face wash that has a manly scent. I also have an 8yr ds who bathes in axe. That's the only explaination i have for that. I think that's his imagination running wild. And if i really did smell lk a guy why wait until now to bring it up? I Dont understand.
  • MissANicole
    Posts: 172Member
    And just now he text me who have i been with. OmG i am still at home with the kids. I haven't even been with my damm toothbrush yet! I Dont have time for a fuckN affair! If i had free alone time i would be catching up on sleep. This is nuts!
  • [Deleted User]
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  • MissANicole
    Posts: 172Member
    No he has been fine. Like we have been good. We moved Sunday so we were both a little stressed but nothing i thought was too serious. When he was home last we had sex lk once. I thought he was just tired because we i tried he was all lk i am sleepy. So i let it go as he was tired. He now said last night he didnt want to because he knows i have been sleeping with someone else.But i told him we had sex once and it didnt bother you. If that's how you feel why even do it? I guess just to get some and he was done. I feel so unwanted now. Lk i feel gross. Lk used. Sorry i say and write "like" a lot. Bad habit.
  • [Deleted User]
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  • MissANicole
    Posts: 172Member
    Almost four years. I just checked the call history on line and he does have an incoming private call. So i told him to tell his ex to top stalking me. When he talked to her before she would see me anywhere and tell him. I think she said something to make him think lk this. He denies it but what else could it be? She has done this before sayin i was at this place or that but never cheating. The only person that was in the car with me when i went to run errands was my mom. We have illegal dark tint on the windows maybe she thought it was a guy? And ran to call him. That's the only thing i can imagine! He told me to call her and ask her but yea she is not gonna Fess up to it. And if she does say anything out of line i may lose my shit on her all together!
  • lovinmom
    Posts: 682Member
    This doesnt sound like a good situation at all. Something is up with him. He needs to chill out.
  • [Deleted User]
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    well behaved women seldom make history
  • [Deleted User]
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    well behaved women seldom make history
  • MissANicole
    Posts: 172Member
    Yea this is his ex. She used to try and message me on myspace back in the day that she wanted to see her dog and she wanted to be my friend and she thought i was pretty. Weird. Then she called him or he called her and it went on from there. She would call and tell him any place she saw me at. I doubt he has continuously talked to her but who knows. Then all of a sudden a private call and he thinks i am cheating?! She is a strange person. Lk i wont try to be judgemental but she is fuckd up all the way around. Coke head doesn't have her kids and i have heard from people other than my husband a habitual liar. Like made up life liar. So IDk. Not sayin its her fault they talked cuz it takes two.
  • MissANicole
    Posts: 172Member
    We went thru all the drama and tried to start fresh. And we have been so good until now.
  • [Deleted User]
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    well behaved women seldom make history
  • [Deleted User]
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    well behaved women seldom make history
  • MissANicole
    Posts: 172Member
    Yea i know he is wrong. He is not innocent in this shit at all. I just wanna get his number changed but what good will it do if he still knows hers and may be calling from a work phone. And exactly why would i listen to her? She is a weir0. She either wont admit it and or will say yea it was her and stick to whatever story she has in her made up Fuck factory of a brain. I am 100% faithful to this man. And yes sometimes i do want to get him back but i am not that kind of person. Some days i wish i was. :-S
  • MissANicole
    Posts: 172Member
    The only fact i do know is he does not call her from his phone. But everyone has cell phones and what not so who is to say he doesn't use someone elses? I hope i am wrong about that one. I over analyze everything.
  • [Deleted User]
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  • MissANicole
    Posts: 172Member
    I did. He said that's just the way he felt. So before it got heated i assured him i loved him and would never do that to him. And he said i was a lair. So i told him no that's one thing i am not. Call me whatever just not a liar. That's when i flipped. I hate kids. So i went on to tell him it was probably guilt fuckN with him and we went from there.
  • MissANicole
    Posts: 172Member
    I hate lies? Lol Damn you auto correct!
  • [Deleted User]
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  • MissANicole
    Posts: 172Member
    He doesn't even go thru my stuff tho which makes it so strange. I would understand if he did and was sayin this. Lk i would know he is just being nosey and suspicious. But out of no where WTf?!
  • [Deleted User]
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  • MissANicole
    Posts: 172Member
    We see how this goes thanks sm!
  • LoveLove
    Posts: 12,783Administrator, Moderator
    Does anyone else think this sounds exactly like my husband a year ago?

    That's disturbing on soooooooo many levels.

    There's definitely a problem here. Whether it's a little birdie whispering in his ear, or his own guilt, or maybe he needs some medication for his anxiety issues....there's a huge problem.

    When he IS home, how well are yalls' communication skills, at being able to talk seriously about your relationship problems?

    community-manager


  • MissANicole
    Posts: 172Member
    We are good. We have overcome a lot from this past year. I thought we were great. Its kinda hard to talk to him some times because he does need meds but doesn't lk to take them because of work. So when i catch him in a good mood he is easy to talk to. He is insecure i think but i always tell him i love him miss him all that good stuff. I go out of my way for him and it usually goes unacknowledged. :-/ when we do have serious talks everything seems to be ok.
  • LoveLove
    Posts: 12,783Administrator, Moderator
    Your story sounds SO eerily similar to mine.
    You can pm me if you want to talk about it.

    We're good now, we're great now, but there was a problem. A big problem. And once it came to light, it took a really long time to fix it. I'm not going to put all our business out here, out of respect for him, but I'll be glad to speak to you privately, if you want.

    community-manager


  • BlessieBlessie
    Posts: 1,497Member
    >:D<
  • shadylaneshadylane
    Posts: 3,037Member
    Yeah something is def up if he just all of a sudden got this idea in his head that ur fucking around. My ex used to do that, found out later that the whole time he was giving me shit every time I left the house, he was fucking my cousin. Not saying he is def cheating, but its a possibility. He had to get the idea from somewhere, I doubt he just decided on his own one day out of nowhere. If he is talking to the girl he had an emotional affair with and accusing u of cheating, that needs to be dealt with asap. He needs to be honest with u. If she just called once and told him that, he should have told u immediately and u could have talked about it and it would be over with. That he would just take her word over urs is bullshit, if indeed that's where he got it from. Ur going to have to talk to him and find out exactly where this is coming from, and tell him he needs to be honest with u or it will never get resolved. No matter what it is, it can be worked on, but u can't work on it if u don't know what ur dealing with. I hope its just a case of sudden onset paranoia and insecurity.
    ~slim shady~
  • MissANicole
    Posts: 172Member
    I hope so too @shadylane. But its so funny there was a private incoming call and bam the next day i am cheating. Pretty fishy if i do say so myself. I told him if i ever find out he talks to that @!*%# again i was out. So i know he wont admit it. She is married now so IDk if she wants him back or she just Dont want to see him with anyone else.
  • LoveLove
    Posts: 12,783Administrator, Moderator
    What's up with checking the call logs on the actual phone bill statement.
    Do-able?

    community-manager


  • [Deleted User]
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  • MissANicole
    Posts: 172Member
    I do. He doesn't call her. He just had this one private incoming call. The thing is he has a company phone also. Cant get those. So i have no idea about him calling on that phone.
  • LoveLove
    Posts: 12,783Administrator, Moderator
    Erffff.

    Does it show texts on your log?

    community-manager


  • MissANicole
    Posts: 172Member
    @love Yes maam i check those too!
  • shadylaneshadylane
    Posts: 3,037Member
    How long did the call last?
    ~slim shady~
  • LoveLove
    Posts: 12,783Administrator, Moderator
    LOL Sounds like you're on top of things.
    Have you suggested couple's therapy? Is that an option?

    community-manager


  • MissANicole
    Posts: 172Member
    The call was lk two minutes. Yes i would love therapy but he doesn't think we need it. I think i need a therapist!
  • [Deleted User]
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  • LoveLove
    Posts: 12,783Administrator, Moderator
    True True.
    You could suggest marriage counseling, and if or when he shoots that down, go alone.
    Maybe if/when he sees you making such a concentrated effort, he'll come around?


    I know how that's suppose to work in theory, but I don't know how well it works in reality, with certain personalities. ::snort:: mine would have taken that and run with it. "You're the one in therapy. You must be the crazy one., the one that needs help--not me."

    community-manager


  • MissANicole
    Posts: 172Member
    Yea its worth a try. As couple or alone. Maybe he will tag along after a while
  • [Deleted User]
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    well behaved women seldom make history
  • momoftwosweetgirls
    Posts: 18Member
    I would definitely be suspicious that he is the one cheating.  I'm going through a divorce that is completely by my husband's choice.  He claims that he is not having an affair and that there are any number of things wrong with me and that is why he is leaving me.  Yet I found a note from his suspected girlfriend that said I love you in it 3 times and on the front cover were a couple in bed.  When I confronted him about it, he turned it back on me and told me that I was probably receiving notes like that from other men and cheating on him.  So far from the truth!  I'm a working mom of 2 kids.  I barely have time for a shower let alone an affair with someone else!  I do think that the suggestion that at least you go to counseling is a good one.  Marriage counseling would be even better to get all your thoughts on the table in a mediated environment.
  • shadylaneshadylane
    Posts: 3,037Member
    Wow @momof2sweetgirls, nothing like adding insult to injury right? The least he could do is be honest with u. What a piece of shit.
    ~slim shady~
  • shadylaneshadylane
    Posts: 3,037Member
    Wow @momof2sweetgirls, nothing like adding insult to injury right? The least he could do is be honest with u. What a piece of shit.
    ~slim shady~
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