My kids don't listen to me
  • sahminnj
    Posts: 6Member
    I need help dealing with my kids when they don't listen.  I have 3 - 14, 11, and 7yo. Each of them don't listen in different ways.  The problem is that something that is small and starts out totally nice ends up with me being so ugly from the frustration of not being listened to or answered appropriately.  I'm almost embarrassed to write it. But its things like asking my teenager to pick up her dirty towels off the floor, when I go to her room to ask or say something that had nothing to do with cleaning her room. But I can't help but notice it when I get there! And I've asked her and told her REPEATEDLY about the towels. Same thing with the youngest - she shoves things in her drawers when asked to clean her room instead of putting things where they belong. So when I go to help her pick out an outfit, which was supposed to be a nice mommy-daughter moment, I find this stuff and then I get mad. Because she's been found out about this and told not to do it, over and over!!

    Am I the crazy 'mommy dearest' one for shouting and getting so angry over a towel or am I (and mommy dearest) totally justified in my reaction to my words and requests being repeatedly ignored?
  • LA_PygmyHerderLA_PygmyHerder
    Posts: 1,230Member
    This is normal. It's kids unfortunately. I have 3 (9,8, and 5) and they'll try to get away with anything they can. Kids are stubborn, infuriating, and sometimes downright mean. All you can do is repeat yourself. One day they'll be on their own and realize mom isn't there to clean up after them and they'll do it on their own.
  • sahminnj
    Posts: 6Member
    Thats all I do is repeat myself. Thanks LA_pygmyherder for announcing that kids are mean sometimes.  It's so true!  It feels like they are being mean when they seem to purposely ignore me.  I feel like I need a sponsor to call when I'm blowing my top and just want to smack my kids.  :-) 
  • lovinmom
    Posts: 682Member
    My kids are younger and I only have 2 (8 and 5) but with them I noticed I have to stand there while they do it otherwise they do it halfass. I get pissy and when I blow my top is when they do it with out me standing there. I can feel your frustration
  • sahminnj
    Posts: 6Member
    Should we be more in control and say things like " honey, you know you're supposed to put your books back on the shelf, not in the drawer with your underwear. Next time?" all with a smile on our face and a sing-song in our voice? This is my guilt issue. Part of me thinks I should but then another part of me thinks I'm totally right in getting angry. 
  • mamacher
    Posts: 1Member

    I have 3 kids:17, 7, and soon to be 5, all girls.  None of them help me around the house, although I repeatedly ask and ask.  My husband will step over trash instead of picking it up and throwing it away, and he has a pair of socks he took off after cutting grass 4 WEEKS ago STILL sitting at the landing of the stairs!  The longer they sit there, the madder I am getting.  My oldest has even questioned about them. 


    My 17 year old used to bag her clothes up and throw them into the basement, just to keep from having to clean her room.  I constantly have to stay on her to rinse her dishes and put them into the dishwasher instead of the sink, her little sisters are better at this than she ever has been.


    This past Friday, I cleaned the kitchen, and the counter was clear of clutter (which is a HUGE problem) and Saturday morning, it looked like a tornado hit it - I told my husband I quit, and I did, the whole weekend!  I'm so sick of having to do everything around here.  And if I try to do anything while the kids are home, my 7 and 4 year old fight - and I retreat to my room.  I usually do this every day when my husband gets here, which may not be fair to him, but I just can't take these kids anymore!


    And to top it off, as of this past Feb 14, a grandson from the 17 year old was added to this chaos, so now I'm babysitting during the day while my youngest is in Mother's day out, Tu-Th for 4 short hours, so I really can't get anything done which drives me nuts.  And her room is piled high with dirty clothes, hers and his, and as of this week, I refused to do them for her anymore. 


    Am I being a terrible mom and person?????


     


     

  • GritsGrits
    Posts: 4,370Member
    @mamcher, NO! You are not being a terrible mom and person! I would be damned if I'd continue to do menial chores for a 17 year old who now has a child of her own?? Did I read that right?? If she has a little one of her own now, it's time to start taking care of her own messes and her son's laundry! Being a mother is no cakewalk for sure, and with the younger ones, I can understand their reluctance, but there is no excuse for the new mommy in the house. Obviously she should see her own mother taking all the responsibility for her and the younger ones, the least she could do is pitch in.

    I say STRIKE!! Don't do one damn thing for anyone that they could do for themselves. I have done this and it worked. My house was a war zone for about two weeks, but when they had no clean clothes, dishes, or places to sit, they got the point. Children are people, too, not gods or kings. They can take care of just as many chores as you, and DH would get a swift kick in the pants for leaving socks like that for a flipping month!!

    Chin up, lady! You'll find a way to make them see. Either that or check into a hotel and pretend to be on vacation!!!
    "I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day, and I believe in miracles." ~Audrey Hepburn
  • sahminnj
    Posts: 6Member
    @mamacher - oh my goodness! your situation sounds intolerable.  If only these kids would appreciate how you, and all of us Moms, sacrifice so much of our own wants and needs to make them happy! Ugh.... I haven't gone on strike but you definitely should. You need Mommy's Day out!  Gosh, I wish I had some other words of wisdom but I don't.  All I can think of is having a family meeting and laying down some law. But your husband will have to be on board to support you. Well i guess he doesn't have to, but it'd be easier.
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