If it's intense bullying, I'd probably step in.

If it's just kids being kids, I leave it. Kids have to learn to work stuff out on their own. We can't always be there to moderate and control every situation.

Of course, this depends on the situation. If I saw a kid beating the crap out of another kid on the playground, I'd flip at the parents if they weren't doing anything. There is a line and if it's crossed, I sure would step in.

We've gone through different levels and acts of bullying toward my son in the last 4-5 yrs.  Now, I know he's not an angel and that he has his own issues.  However, that does not mean that some kid has the right to bully him.  My son has this need to have others like him and when he is rebuffed he acts out.  All that aside, when he's not doing anything and still getting bullied?!  Something has got to give.  The first extreme case was in the 1st grade.  We lived in a small town where everybody knows everybody's dog's business.  We were also new.  The teacher's son and all his buddies that he had known since birth decided my son wasn't cool enough.  They teased, kicked, hit, ignored, etc.  We brought it to the teacher's attention.  All she said was that she didn't notice anything.  I was a frequent visitor in the class and I had seen.  Other parents had seen too.  It got so bad that we went to the principal.  When she turned a blind eye, we threatened to go to the superintendent and school board if needed.  That school is lucky we moved.  Through all of that we told our son that he couldn't start it, but he had our permission to end it!

The most recent was this past football season.  The league does two ages per team.  Well the parents of this kid that it's a year older and much bigger than my son are really cool people and we formed a parent relationship with them over the course of the season.  But we noticed on the field during practice that this older kid would pick on our son.  He'd push him down for no reason and get the other boys to gang up on him.  Kinda let it slide because, well boys can be boys and it was football practice and our son didn't complain about it.  The breaking point was when we went to their house for a get together.  It appeared to only be wrestling.  And then I sort of hid to watch.  This other boy had pure hate and venom in his look as he tried to hurt my son.  Once I brought to my husband's attention he noticed it too.  We were out of there in less than 20 min and never went back.  Figured we wouldn't say anything because this football season they're not on the same team and they are no longer in the same school.

I'm a firm believer in the "you can't start it, but you can finish it" mentality.  I will also use all my resources if I feel it has gotten completely out of hand.  I know my child isn't perfect, but he sure isn't a monster like some of these other kids. 

This reminds me of one day dh and I were walking with the kids to the pool. There were some boys about 12-14 picking on some boys about 8-10. Dh walked up to the older boys and said "you think it makes you seem cool picking on these kids? No, it makes you look like a bunch of little punks too scared to pick on someone your own size!" Now, dh is a pretty big guy covered in tats and is a little scary to kids who don't know him. Their eyes were saucers! They took off down the street. Ha. I think they crapped their pants!

I absolutely believe in saying something, even something simple like that.

Unfortunately we've had to deal with this recently. A kid twice my ds8's size has been picking on him on the bus. Broke his glasses etc, some of you saw that thread. Well, the school was pretty awesome about it, but not much they can do about restitution and such. I didn't get to talk to the kid's granparents who are his guardians, but the vice principal relayed the message to them that they were lucky I'm not hot to call the cops because I very well could have pressed charges on this kid. But I didn't because he's 10 and I really don't want to press charges on a 10 year old. Doesn't mean I won't though if it persists. And yes, I would have said this to their faces had I been able to.

I know what this feels like I was picked on and my ds 8 is bullied horribly. Part of the reason I want to get him into karate is to learn how to defend himself. These damn kids gang up on him 3 to 1 and pin him to the ground. Talking to the parents does nothing because they let their kids wander around all day without checking on them and half of them don't give a shit if they get punished by their parents. They just laugh. Ds is to intimidated by dh to learn from him.

I wanted to add, my DS3 and he's going to face his own challenges being First Nations.

I am raising him to be tolerant of all races, colours, etc.

That being said, depending on what happens when he goes to school and the group of kids he ends up with, I fully realize he may tease another kid to avoid getting teased himself. Doesn't make it right and obviously I'll deal with it, but like I said, it's not always that easy.

@GirdyOlee - Exactly. All we can do as parents is raise them right and hope for the best. It's frustrating as hell, but I guess that's just how it is.

As a kid a bully was picking on my much smaller friend. I just lost it, tackled him and beat the crap out of him. Fortunately that was a long time ago because I could have gotten in trouble with the current anti-bullying issues. The bully never picked on my friend again.

Sometimes I'm afraid the anti-bullying campaign will protect the wrong kids since the retaliator is usually the one to get caught.

Also, I admit that I would cheer inside when some little firecracker would give one of my guys what was coming to them. Then if they dared come crying to me I would sadly inform them that is why you don't go ________________________ fill in the blank. Taking other kids toys, trying to push in line, etc; etc;