Did your body fall apart after childbirth?
  • saltwatermom
    Posts: 64Member
    Mine did.

    After two children within 14 months. DD#2 weighing in at nearly 10lbs and Mommy at 5ft and 108lb pre pregnancy, I basicaly was a mess.
    I had cystocele and rectocele repairs done (cutting, folding and fixing the vaginal walls that had basically fallen down into my vaginal opening) as well as a perineal floor reconstruction (from a crappy episiote fix) and a bladder sling (so I didn't pee myself with each giggle or cough)...all before I was 33.
    Just wondering how many other mothers out there fell apart after child birth like I did. Also hopping maybe it won't be as embarrassing for others as it was for me if they know it happens to the best of us.

    On the plus side...
    Once the "repair job" was done I am actually back to my pre pregnancy...ummm...tightness. (sorry, couldn't think of a better term) It's quite awesome even though recovery time was l-o-n-g.
  • crazymommy
    Posts: 776Member
    My body was a complete mess after ds. I gained 90 pounds while on bed rest and struggled for 3 years trying to lose the weight. Never did. When I got pregnant with dd I got sick. And I mean sick. Morning, noon, and, night I was sick, so sick that I lost 35 pounds alone my 1st month of pregnancy. After she was born I think it worked out to my having lost about 10 pounds from pre-baby weight. So now 5 months later I'm a mess of loose floppy skin and flab that I have no clue what to do with. I've been working out and it's not really doing anything.
  • saltwatermom
    Posts: 64Member
    I still have loose skin on my stomach after 7 years. It has gotten better over time but I wouldn't be caught dead in a bikini or anything. I think I was about a year and a half getting back into my old clothes but I was probably 5 years getting back to my pre pregnancy weight and shape. It will come. You can have the skin fixed (like Kate from Kate plus 8) but I can't handle the recovery. I'll live with the skin. At my age no one wants to see me in a bikini anyway.
  • serenitynowserenitynow
    Posts: 2,210Member
    when i got pregnant w/ baby #1, i was about 135lbs. gained 65 with her, lost 30 in the first 6 weeks, but surprise! pregnant w/ #2 at 6 week check-up! so, gained all 30 back plus 5 more :( then i lost about 25lbs and was stuck like that for about 2 years, then got pregnant w/ #3 and gained 30. so, now it's been 3 yrs. since the last baby and i'm still up those original 65lbs. i admit i haven't tried to lose any of the weight until recently and it's a bitch! but i'm tired of having more rolls than a bakery. i also have a ton of stretch marks, making it look like i was attacked by a tiger as my bf so nicely puts it!
  • ScaryMommyScaryMommy
    Posts: 4,481Administrator
    Ugh, yes. Even my fucking feet are bigger. Evan is 3 and I'm still holding on to 20 pounds of his baby weight. I don't think it's going anywhere. :(
  • chaosmomchaosmom
    Posts: 4,186Member
    Things just aren't right any more. Since my oldest (he's 12), I have not been able to wear a tampon & have to be careful of the angle during sex. My cervix/uterus tilted and now kinda gets in the way of things. Just got a little worse with each pregnancy & delivery. I also damaged the tendons & ligaments in my hip during 2nd delivery and have nerve damage in my back & have had pain every since. Need surgery but have been putting it off. Hard to find someone to watch the kids while I recover since I'm a single parent. I shed worse than a dog & my hair lost its shine & stays frizzy now. Yep, feels like I'm falling apart! Haha and we won't even touch on the weight issue...
  • crazymommy
    Posts: 776Member
    I have spoken about this before on here before we gave ourselves names. I suffer from severe hair loss. This happened with both of my pregnancies. About 2 months after both were born, my hair started falling out. I literally have handfuls of hair come out while I shower, and there is hair everywhere. When I had this with my son 4 years ago I did not know what was happening and I thought it was because I had just had my hair highlighted. (Never went back to that salon again after barging into the salon like a psycho). By about the time my son turned 8 months old I actually had visible bald spots, and a severe "widows peak". Both my regular doctor and my ob said this was a little more severe than they normally see, but common. I've never heard anyone else say they had this problem. When my daughter was born I prayed that this wouldn't happen again. It did. She is almost 6 months old and I recently just went and had it chopped off to help control the amount of hair I was dealing with. The day I was in the shower and noticed the handful of hair was back I sat down in the tub and cried. I know it will grow back, but it will never be as thick or nice as it used to be. I always considered my hair my best feature. It sucks worse than anything.
  • saltwatermom
    Posts: 64Member
    My hair thinned with childbirth too. But I never had bald patches. When I showered I would have to sit and pick the hair off my hands before I went on from washing my hair. I ended up getting a pixie cut so that I didn't notice how much was falling out. It has remained thinner than it was before I had kids, but not as bad as it was post partum.
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    I'm pregnant with baby number 10, and all have been delivered vaginally. I feel just as good with this one as I did with the first. I'm one of those lucky, rare ones whose body was just made for birthing babies. I bounce back pretty quickly, especially with breastfeeding (helps lose weight) and kegel exercises all day long during the first couple post partum months. My biggest baby was 10 lb 15 oz, and my twins were my smallest at 5 lb 2 oz and 4 lb 11 oz. That's still almost the equivalent of a 10 lb baby. The others have been between 6lb 4 oz and 9 lb 12 oz. When I got pregnant with baby 1, I was 5'5" and 114 lbs. When I got pregnant with this one, I was at 125 lbs. I;m 29 weeks now, and 140 lbs. But don't worry, I knew by baby #3 that I was not anywhere near normal :)
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    To the ones who have hair loss following birth : ask the doctor to put you on a low dose thyroid pill the last trimester, and stay on it until about 3 months after baby is born. It should help tremendously.
  • saltwatermom
    Posts: 64Member
    I have been on Thyroid pills for 10+ yrs. Way before the girls.
  • VegasmommyVegasmommy
    Posts: 1,731Member
    My feet became a half size larger...like I needed help with that. (now wearing an 11) My sciatic nerve is shot to hell. I also think my g-spot relocated to an unknown realm.
  • fuegofuego
    Posts: 1,594Member
    Me too, Vegasmommy. I wear men's shoes, because there are no (cheap) nice looking, women's shoes in size 11 1/2. I can't take two steps without that shooting pain from my lower back down to my toes.
  • Before I had my daughter, I used to look in the mirror and think "oh I'm sooo fat"...now, if I could go back in time? I'd punch myself in the throat! I was f'ing beautiful! I weighted 115, perfect boobs, the whole package...Now, I literally don't look at myself in the mirror anymore (unless it's to do my make up). I gained 50lbs, it just makes me so sad I can't even think about it. I think the thing that bothers me the most is my flabby belly that hangs over my freakin' pants!
  • irishlassirishlass
    Posts: 7,057Member
    after having DS at 17, it felt like my teenage body became one of a 60 year olds! at 18 i got severe IBS brought on by stress of being a single teenage sahm. that let to my whole bottom half becoming messy to say the least, i was verging on prolapse, uterus and anus. IBS led to extreme weight loss, so my super stretchmarked belly turned into a jiggly flabby mess, and my boobs now hang down like deflated balloons, just empty sacs of skin :( the horomone change after birth has left me with teenage skin for the first time in my life and i too had major sciatica problems. my feet shrunk :S and i miss my lovely teenage body :( it was beautiful and i never appreciated it!
    "Be who you are and say what you feel. Because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter." - Dr. Seuss
  • jandbsmom
    Posts: 1,014Member
    Pregnancy with my first born caused my thyroid to fail and that led to tons of issues until it was well treated 2 years later. Doesn't matter though because I'd go through it all again just to be his mom <3
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    I was wondering about the hair loss too. I had heard that hair loss after birth can be common (I had GREAT hair while pregnant) but 6 weeks to the day my son was born the hair started coming out in clumps. I started crying while in the shower.

    My son is 3.5 and my hair STILL falls out in rather alarming amounts. I am keeping volumizing hair care product lines in business.

    I also have no energy, no sex drive, and can't friggin lose weight. (How sad to be going to WW weekly and sticking to it faithfully, AND having a personal trainer and working out 5 times a week...and losing a total of half a pound in three months......I almost had a breakdown after that.)

    And I hate that I can't jump, run, or sneeze without feeling like I'm going to pee myself.

    My only consolation is that I didn't get one stretch mark.
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    @crocdagator: You sound just like me! Well, except for the perfect boobs part. I never did have those :) But the rest is just like me. I HATE my stomach. Sometimes I have an urge to get the kitchen knife and cut that damn hanging belly skin off. If I ever win the lottery, I am so having a tummy tuck (and buying some boobs, lol!)
  • InsanityandChaosInsanityandChaos
    Posts: 1,924Member
    My hair fell out too, after both of my pregnancies. My DD is 6 months old now and it's starting to lessen but still falling out more than normal. I actually have bald spots in several spots at my hairline. I chopped it off about 2 months ago to chin length when I had to use cuticle scissors to cut a foot and a half long piece of hair from DD's pinky toe. I had really nice hair. It was my best feature and now it looks so horrible. Plus I had a tubal ligation during my c-section and it's apparently messing with my hormones really bad. I've been reading up on it and talking to people online about it and been told that it really does happen sometimes and yet when I went to my doctor today he pretty much blew me off and told me it's all in my head, that the "adjustment" to adding a new baby can make women feel extra stress. Extra stress? The pms I have been experiencing for about a full week before my period is not normal. I feel crazy and totally out of control. The only nice thing that came from my having babies (besides the babies themselves, they are worth a hundred times what I'm going through) is my boobs. I never really had boobs before and now I have to say I have a pretty nice set of dd's. (In a bra of course, lol)
  • CrashCrash
    Posts: 10,571Member
    Your hair falls out because it doesn't fall out while you're pregnant. Once your hormones level out, ie, 6 weeks after giving birth, what would have normally fallen out, well, it falls out.

    Post-pregnancy tip of the day. Lol!

    Although this doesn't explain why it keeps falling out, sounds like the hormones aren't going back to normal functioning to allow you to keep your hair. It would seem that after the 3rd or 4th month, everything should be back to its regular schedule.
    Why be a king when you can be a God?
  • InsanityandChaosInsanityandChaos
    Posts: 1,924Member
    There is actually a condition called postnatal allepecia where some women experience more than normal hair loss. It is caused by hormonal imbalance. The first time I went through it I went to my doctor about it and was told about 10% of women experience it. For some women it's extreme, total hair loss or big time bald spots and hair falling out in clumps. While with me it did fall out in clumps leaving bald spots. It does usually start a couple months after giving birth and can take up to a year or so to stop. If you are experiencing this you should see your doctor because you might require medication to help regulate your hormone levels.
  • mental_statemental_state
    Posts: 505Member
    My hair, or at least 3/4 of it fell out over my pregnancies, never has it grown back. One bottle of hair dye , so it's cheaper. My youngest is 11, he has all my hair. I did have very thick hair, too much for a banana clip or ordinary hair band, now they just slide out.
  • shelleykitten
    Posts: 119Member
    i have a teddy belly and am still losing my baby weight (my baby is 15 by the way) but to be honest my body survived but i lost MY SANITY and have the sneaking suspicion it aint never coming back!!
  • canadamom
    Posts: 880Member
    My feet are bigger and I had to get rid of all my shoes!! I now need a wide width and good comfortable shoes are almost impossible to find - never mind a nice pair of heels.

    My thyroid quit, my gallbladder had to be removed. My vision changed. I'll never wear a bikini again - the stretch marks are aweful and an inch wide( not that I ever wore a bikini before but at least I had hope ).

    The only good thing - my naturally wavy hair became naturally curly after the kids!! Although I laugh, because in the 80's I spent a fortune on perms to get it to be curly and now that it is I spend all my time trying to straighten it!!!!

    Other than the 100lbs of baby wieght I still carry - nothing else!!
  • LoveLove
    Posts: 14,066Administrator, Moderator
    Does anybody's lady bits EVER go back to being cute again? Ever?


  • SanityIsAMythSanityIsAMyth
    Posts: 439Member
    Hmmm it's been 14 years & 1 month since I was last pregnant. Nothing about me ever regained cuteness… *sigh*
  • loveitloveit
    Posts: 1,738Member
    @love what do you mean "cute again"? Did your girlie parts change shape?
  • Meg
    Posts: 346Member
    **Big Sigh** Everything has gone to shite. My hips are occassionally in so much pain I can no longer walk properly for more than 2 hours. I can't lose weight. I had weight issues before, but now...it's just bad. I have incredible hair loss. It's not that you can tell, but I can...I pull out hand fulls at a time. My feet are bigger, they weren't very big before, but now my shoes are either too tight or too loose. Somewhere between an 8 and an 8 1/2. The c-section pains and then the phantom pains from the tubal. Oh - don't get me started on those complications. Someone last week said "tummy apron" I don't have a tummy apron, but I do have toooo much skin where a kid used to reside. Again...**Big sigh**
  • LoveLove
    Posts: 14,066Administrator, Moderator
    @loveit, well, my lips seem to pooch out a little more after baby #3, and where it was bubblygum pink, is now a much darker color.... idk. DH says he doesn't care, but I don't like it. Thankfully, I don't have to look at it though, LOL


  • InsanityandChaosInsanityandChaos
    Posts: 1,924Member
    I'm having this major problem that maybe you ladies can give me some tips about! I had my dd 7 months ago. I've lost a ton of weight, went from about 170 prepregnancy to my current weight now which is 145. You can see the difference in my face especially, but for some reason my belly is not going away! I look like I'm about 5 months pregnant still! I work out everyday and am starting to finally see some muscle tone in my arms and legs and I feel amazing but seriously the beer gut looking deal has got to go! I do situps and my workout routine but it's not working! The smaller I've gotten the weirder my belly looks.
  • ven12deenven12deen
    Posts: 294Member
    well lets see my son was 10lb 8oz at birth 22 in long so yes i was a mess i was about 71/2 month along when i started peeing my self every time i walked (sad) yes my body not so nice
  • shadylaneshadylane
    Posts: 3,125Member
    my skin, hair and boobs were gorgeous during my pregnancy. now my skin is super oily, my hair is still falling out 2 years later, and oh my boobs. i am traumatized about how they look now. they were always small but now they are even smaller and no longer perky. not to mention my messed up c-section scar.
    ~slim shady~
  • ven12deenven12deen
    Posts: 294Member
    @shadylane every thing but the c-section scar(its 2 inch bigger but nice) sounds like me
  • ven12deenven12deen
    Posts: 294Member
    i hear u i loved my pregnancy boobs now just sag like im an older lady (grandmas age)sad theres fat in places i didnt think there could be and no mater what i do i cant get rid of this shit then after i had my son love him he the reason i get up in the morning i found out i have celiacs (cant have wheat or glutin) it sucks because its harder to loss the baby weight or any weight
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    Ugh. My body is so gross now. Before DS1, I lost a ton of weight and was the weight on my driver's license. Then I gained 60 lbs w/ him and didn't have 60 lbs baby like I thought I was going to. Lost all but 20 lbs of that. Then w/ DS2 gained 35 and kept 10. I've lost that 10, but things aren't going back to where they were. Bigger stomach, formerly perky boobs saggy. I could deal w/ my huge ass, but now I have flabby stomach to match. I can't even look in the mirror anymore.

    @Momof2Boys- I get the hair loss thing. I do it too. I pull out handfuls. DH says I lose more hair in a day than he has on his head. I am with you on the only thing good I got out of this are the kiddos.
  • ven12deenven12deen
    Posts: 294Member
    women before kids shed 150 hairs a day after kids 250 a day sad
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,074
    I just got back from a bootcamp workout and she had us doing a lot of jumping.. but I had to leave because I pee'd myself :( (thank GAWD no one noticed) That is byfar the WORST symptom of having kids I have experienced. I try to do kegals but I still can't run or jump and laugh without a little (or a lot) of leakage. I have the bladder of an 80 year old and I'm only 22! (granted- my kids were over 10lbs)
  • ven12deenven12deen
    Posts: 294Member
    i think everyone that has kids that are big have a little leakage from time to time i know i do (10lb 8oz 22inch long) dont feel bad i had my son at 22 now im 27
  • irishlassirishlass
    Posts: 7,057Member
    I am so lucky i never experienced the peeing myself part!! and my baby was 9lb, and i was tiny! i did from 'arsehole to breakfast' as they say!! My pregnancy pictures are really quite shocking, my son was just so huge compared to me!
    "Be who you are and say what you feel. Because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter." - Dr. Seuss
  • InsanityandChaosInsanityandChaos
    Posts: 1,924Member
    I have no bladder control what so ever anymore and I had 2 pretty small babies! Both came in at 6 pounds 10 ounces. If I feel like I need to pee, get out of my way or I can't hold it! And if I get to laughing too hard I will leak a little. It can be pretty embarrassing sometimes!
  • Hmorse
    Posts: 1Member
    Two weeks after giving birth to my baby girl, I ended up in the hospital with a kidney stone! I'm gonna have to say the pain was worse than giving birth. It had to be surgically removed. The whole week following, I had a stent in, which was also very uncomfortable. Oh not to mention, along with the kidney stone was a bladder infection. Weeks after I struggled with yeast, bacterial, and sinus infections as well as UTIs. 3 months later and I feel like I'm struggling with anxiety and possible ppd. Just came back from the obgyn who informed me I have a cyst on my left ovary. I'm 24 years old and have never felt so shitty in my life. I just keep waiting for the next thing to happen...
  • Mom_o_Cass
    Posts: 51Member
    My health started to deteriorate after having my daughter. Almost 7 years later I have lost teeth due to bad gums during pregnancy, my spinal discs degenerated and I had to have spinal fusion, and this year I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and diabetic neuropathy. Whee!! Somehow, it all is still worth it, baca use this kiddo is friggin awesome. :)
  • Nerve damage in my back from the epidural, saggy floppy boons, about 60 extra pounds that aren't going anywhere, but I'm thankful that it's nothing serious. Big hugs to you girls who have serious health complications from your pregnancies that require surgery
  • RDunhamRDunham
    Posts: 138Member
    I think everyone falls apart, at least a little. I can barely hold going to the restroom, everything is jiggly, and I have insane anxiety, just to mention a few.
  • KatDragonKatDragon
    Posts: 370Member
    Wait. I had a nice body before? I don't remember anymore. *sigh*
    "Fantastic!" 9th Doctor
  • LittleTalksLittleTalks
    Posts: 1,376Member
    Reading this thread is unreal, what the hell kind of shitty deal do women get from nature!
    I didn't do too bad but I've only been pregnant once at 19/20 so stretch marks and lasting damage are minimal. The weight gain however... Ugh. I was skinnier when I was breast feeding, now that she's 2.5 I'm almost 30lbs heavier than pre-pregnancy. I do have to wonder if its something to do with my implanon though, I've never had a weight problem before. It's pretty common for hormonal birth control to cause weight gain right?
  • tothemoonandbacktothemoonandback
    Posts: 3,934Member
    I don't actually know what my bits looked like before, to compare the after.. so eh.  Honestly, and don't throw anything at me or I will bite you, but I'm in better shape physically and mentally than I was before having baby.  I was pretty overweight and unhealthy when I got pregnant, and after I had Jameson it was just the push I needed I think to get my ass in gear.  I had been sober for a good year by then so my health had really improved in that regard, and I lost 50ish lb from eating really healthy and exercising (which also came with a ton of other health benefits).  I was a size 14ish before I got pregnant, and I'm a size 4ish now.  I never got any stretch marks and my boobs stayed the same (I didn't breastfeed, I honestly don't think any milk came in, they never 'grew' while I was pregnant).  I am genetically blessed, or a mutant.  
    Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius, and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring. - Marilyn Monroe
  • GrainneGrainne
    Posts: 1,028Member
    I have a bad case of diastasis recti. Separated abdomen. My stomachuscles separated and have never gone back despite months of specialized physio. Only option is surgery. My stomach bulges out so I always look pregnant.
  • meandmy243meandmy243
    Posts: 9,474Member
    I have the seperated abdiminal muscles, tons of loose skin, my hips never went back together which causes my sciaica... I gained 70lb and still have 60 of it to lose he will be 7 yrs old in 3 1/2 weeks... i want the skin cut off there would go 20lbs...
    let them eat cake! because id rather have pie!!!
  • LilukiLiluki
    Posts: 183Member
    @LittleTalks I had an implanon put in when I was 18 and it is the worse decision I have ever made! I had to have it taken out 6 months later because I had my period every freaking day! ! It messed up my mental health so much my own parents didn't recognize me and my weight ballooned from 130lbs to 250lbs in those 6 months.

    Turns out I was allergic to the damn thing and I will never ever ever lose the weight! I go to the gym 4 days a week and eat healthy but I am still 250lbs a decade later. Most of my weight is on my belly so I look 6 months pregnant all the time!

    My body was falling apart before I got pregnant and I'm just thankful it didn't get any worse afterwards, except for a little loose skin on my belly.

    “If your kid needs a role model and you ain't it, you're both fucked.”
    ― George Carlin, Brain Droppings
  • JustJulia
    Posts: 86Member
    Compared to you ladies i did ok, 2 kids, a few tiger stripes but not really noticeable, a slight leakage, very rare. Oh and the inevitable muffin top, it has taken up residence and wont move. I was 56kg before my first, i hovered around 58kg to 62kg before my 2nd now i am around 65kg but i got up to 73kg,
    i know i know, compared to you ladies i have nothing to complain about.