Grossest thing ur kids have ever done
  • BeautifulDefianceBeautifulDefiance
    Posts: 739Member
    As I was scrolling through I came across a discussion about cleaning binkys in ur mouth and giving them back. Lots I people mentioned the gross and disgusting thing kids eat. Lots made me laugh and made me wonder what other stories are out there.

    Mine: when my oldest dd was about two I was putting my dd#2 in the car. It was an infant seat and difficult to snap in. I had opened the door for dd #1 to get in the car but she was lagging behing on the sidewalk. After snapping the car seat in I turned around to find her happily munching. So I asked her what she was eating and she says "pizza". Turns out it was a piece she found on the ground and was covered with ants. Omg I was so grossed out at the time but now I can't help laughing at the situation
    I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being just as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.

    SMSM_s_5

  • deviltwinsmommadeviltwinsmomma
    Posts: 2,743Member
    My ds when he was about 10 months old
    i walked into their nursery in the morning and my cute chunky lil man was diaper free and covered head to toe in shit along with the crib the fucking kick toy the mobile and one the floor it looked like a kid exploded in the room. I vomited in my mouth my dh came in and said thats my boy. that day i learned how important bleach is.
    my mother used to sing me a song. It went like this: "Life is short, life is shit, and soon it will be over.
  • MamaAce
    Posts: 404Member
    Well let's see..All 3 of my kids are pigs. They have wiped poop on various places, boogers on walls. I am constantly yelling at all 3 of them to wash their hands. They never flush the damn toilet (whether it's pee or poop.) And they're basically just slobs about everything. Food wrappers, clothes, etc. I'm usually a maniac everyday yelling at them to clean up after themselves.... ~X(
  • LifeofchaosLifeofchaos
    Posts: 1,046Member
    My twins loved to play in there poop when they were abt 18-24 mos. One afternoon at nap time I walk in to find them both butt naked having fingerpainted the walls w poop and feeding it to there stuffed animals. Another time my daughter lifted up her toddler mattress somehow pooped underneath it (there was a wood platform holding the mattress) then put the mattress back down.
    Oh and then there's the time my youngest daughter had brown stuff on her hand and I thought she had found some chocolate and I smelled it.....ewwwwwww!!!
  • deviltwinsmommadeviltwinsmomma
    Posts: 2,743Member
    Rock on @Lifeofchaos the joy of twinkies
    my mother used to sing me a song. It went like this: "Life is short, life is shit, and soon it will be over.
  • momsaidnomomsaidno
    Posts: 1,796Member
    Today my FIL took DS3 to the park, He was playing in the sandbox one minute and the next my was standing with no pants on and no underwear on. He had shit himself and was trying to clean it up with his clothes. FIL said he had it on his face his hands his legs. He grabed him and took him into the bathroom at the playground, which everyone knows how dirty they are. But he said he got a full head to toe bath with napkins, water and soap in the bathroom. I am so freaking glad it wasn't me with him.

  • kcsmommykcsmommy
    Posts: 264Member
    @MammaAce I would swear we live in the same household!! Except I would add my husband to the list too!! I feel like a bitching maid when I am home!! 

    The grossest thing my son has ever done was eat his own poop when he was about 10-11 months old!! After he took a bite he decided to share with my husband so he handed the turd to my husband who took it from our son not realizing what what it was. I don't think I have laughed so hard in my life!!
     
    But as long as we are talking poop the funniest thing he ever has done (so far anyway) Was a time we were camping and he pooped on a log. We had just gone swimming and I had stripped him naked and then he took off and was sitting on this log (naked) singing so I busted out the video camera as he was sitting there singing. He got of the log ran up to me and said while pointing at the log "Oh MY GOD!!! I took a poo poo!! My husband and I both laughed so hard that we were crying and our sides hurt!! I am glad I got it on video!! Everyone we have shown the video too has found it hilarious too!!
  • MamaAce
    Posts: 404Member
    @kcsmommy Oh yeah, you can add my husband to the mix too..without the wiping poop/boogers on stuff. He's a damn slob though and I have to yell at him to wash his hands and flush the toilet too. 

    Sometimes I really just want to run away and live in a sterile bubble or something. 
  • kcsmommykcsmommy
    Posts: 264Member
    @MamaAce Oh yeah you can minus the poop and booger smearing from my husband and the poop smearing from my son (my husband taught him to fear the poo after the poo eating instance) but other than that I would swear we live in the same household!!
  • BeautifulDefianceBeautifulDefiance
    Posts: 739Member
    I never had a problem with the poop thing with dd6. She stuck her finger in it one time while napping then started to cry so I would wipe it off. But when dd5 was 14 months old I walked in to check on her after a nap and she was covered head to toe. It was even caked on the outside of her binky which was in her mouth and she was sound asleep. That day sucked cuz I so needed that nap time but I honestly couldn't bring myself to let her just sleep in it sp I woke her up for a bath
    I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being just as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.

    SMSM_s_5

  • Mommyliciousx4Mommyliciousx4
    Posts: 1,768Member

    I have actually witnessed DS4 scratch his taint n sniff his fingers

  • BeerWenchBeerWench
    Posts: 2,819Member
    No poo stories here.

    My DSS - think he was about 12/13 (he's 20 now) put peanut butter in his mouth, laid on the floor and let the dog lick it out... Of course all his friends were laughing and video taping... They also dropped trow and stuck their asses on an electrical fence - of course video is on YouTube as well.

    Teenagers are hilarious!
    :¦:-•:*'""*:•.-:¦:-•** She who leaves a trail of glitter is never forgotten**•-:¦:-•:*'""*:• -:¦:-
  • LifeofchaosLifeofchaos
    Posts: 1,046Member
    Thought of another one not as horrible as the poop ones but my son when he was 3 or 4 would sneak into the fridge and get the mustard out and drink it like a bottle. I have pictures of him hiding under the table drinking away

    http://i232.photobucket.com/albums/ee66/hovatter4/b117ff30.jpg

    Notice our lovely kitchen carpet..... One of the 1st things to be replaced when we started remodeling lol
  • lifeisgood
    Posts: 481Member
    5 years old...puked..projectile style...in his father's face..and all over his chest..and knees..and ankles..as they collided in the hallway enroute to the bathroom...THE ONE AND ONLY time the hubs beat me to the punch when you hear that gurgling semi-gonna puke 'mommmmy' sound from the other bedroom?? whew...I scooped and ran while the hubs stood there in complete shock...No judgement...i would have puked on him too if I hadn't been running with a puking child toward the bathroom.
  • PigeonPigeon
    Posts: 681Guest
    DD 1, I was gone for the night and my parents were watching her. My parents have a little pom/poo dog that has anxiety issues and if they leave the house for more than an hour the dog will shit in the house. So I get home the next day, my mom is nearly peeing herself laughing as she's telling me that the dog had shit in the dining room and they didn't find it, so DD is walking around and all my mom can hear after a few minutes of quiet is "pleh pleh." She goes to look for her, finds her in the dining room eating dog shit. Not happy. Still don't find it funny.
  • flodo
    Posts: 1Member
    I had a cousin whose kid would pick his nose and then wipe the snot on something (walls, furniture, floor). Needless to say, I never went to her house again.
  • crazybroad
    Posts: 91Member
    when my ds was about ten months we had a little poodle.  well he found a turd and ATE it!  my dh was throwing up over it, my dd was staring in horror and it took everything in me to get his mouth cleaned out. ugh, i still shutter at how gross it was.....but laugh at how ridiculous the whole thing was.
  • mocarskmocarsk
    Posts: 9Member
    When my DS9 was a toddler he was a trash picker - I frequently found him with pizza crusts and dinner scrapings that he picked out of the trash. Eww!

    My DD 6 licked the dog's nose a few months ago. She said that she wanted to know what it tastes like. It still disgusts me and cracks me up all at the same time.
  • firefighters_wifefirefighters_wife
    Posts: 573Member
    We were at my  grandma's house one time and dd had french fries I don't remember how old she was but my  grandma had 3 female pit bulls, well one of them had aunt Flo visiting and Bethany walked up behind the dog and said mm-mm ketchup luckily we caught her before any real damage was done.

     sorry for all the typing errors just woke up
  • ausmomma
    Posts: 10Member
    My dd10 will eat butter.. with a spoon right outta the tub.  Makes my tummy hurt
  • BeautifulDefianceBeautifulDefiance
    Posts: 739Member
    LesboMom said:

    I gotta say that the nastiest thing Munchkin has ever done is chew and eat her toe nails.

    I nearly vomited just typing that.



    Haha I almost vomited with a lot of the stories including my own
    I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being just as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.

    SMSM_s_5

  • MyInnerGoddessMyInnerGoddess
    Posts: 1,558Member
    This was effective for halting my midday junkfood party.  I even puked in my mouth a little as I bit into a peanut butter bunny.  Yep, I'm done.  Posting this thread on the exercise thread as a deterrent for those thinking of pigging out.
    "People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can't find them, make them."
    ~ George Bernard Shaw~
  • DreamerDreamer
    Posts: 2,473Member

    As I got directed over here by @MyInnerGoddess, I figured Id post.   Grossest thing My oldest does/did(almost got the habit kicked thankfull!) is pick his nose and eat it.  -shudder- I CANT stand that! 

    My littest one is a nail bitter so I feel ya @LesboMom

    There are some people who live in a dream world, and there are some who face reality; and then there are those who turn one into the other. Which one are you?
  • MyInnerGoddessMyInnerGoddess
    Posts: 1,558Member
    Hmmm...mine are almost all from my ds9.  When he was a baby, he had terrible projectile vomiting and it was ALWAYS on poor daddy.  You could see the layers.  Layer of fruit, then a layer of cereal, then came the breast milk....and it was like turning on a firehose.  Poor daddy.

    The absolute worst was my 6am weekend wakeup call.  Dh decided to be sweet and get up with little guy.  I was sleeping off a hangover from our excursions the night before (in the spare bedroom since DH was snoring lol).  It was spring and the windows were open and all of a sudden I heard the loudest, grossest heaving noise ever.  I was kinda disoriented because I couldn't figure out why anyone would be outside puking at that hour of the morning.  Next thing I know, the bedroom door flies open and DH is standing in the doorway the the kid danging from his extended arms, shit dripping in streams from his toes and DH standing there retching to beat hell.  Apparently, he had to pee, so he put ds in his walker while he went to the bathroom real quick (Before changing him from his overnight diaper).  When he got back to the living room less than a minute later, ds had shit LIQUID down both legs, onto the carpet and was squishing his toes in it laughing hysterically. 

    I ended up grabbing the kid, clothes and all and hitting the shower, while DH puked his guts up for almost 2 hours.  Great teamwork here...I do the shit, he does the puke, and if any lines are crossed, he will be busy for a LONG while with his task.
    "People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can't find them, make them."
    ~ George Bernard Shaw~
  • AutumnAutumn
    Posts: 898Member
    My son ate his first bug tonight :-&
  • AnonUser25
    Posts: 539Guest
    Luckily my son (2.5) hasn't done anything too gross yet!
    But I remember hearing stories about my uncle when he was little always eating gross things. One time he was outside in a playpen and apparently could reach one of those caterpillar nests and broke it and had a handful of caterpillars and was eating them within the 2 mins my grandma turned away. And one time when my grandfather was having a business friend over they walked into the living room and my uncle had his hand in his diaper and poop in his mouth. Eww so gross!!!! Lol!!
  • episcopal
    Posts: 1,851Member
    When I was in elementary school, we'd dare others to eat a worm or insect for money.  I could never bring myself to do it.
  • BellaBefanaBellaBefana
    Posts: 10,374Member
    =))  I couldn't get past the first 3 w/o wetting myself.  Thanks ladies...and THANK GOD the worst  mine has done (so far) with poop is drop a load in the tub!
    Bite me, cupcake!
  • BellaBefanaBellaBefana
    Posts: 10,374Member
    I'm laughing so hard, I've got tears running down my face.  DD3 keeps asking, "are you o.k.?"
    Bite me, cupcake!
  • SammieSammie
    Posts: 8,345Administrator, Moderator

    I have actually witnessed DS4 scratch his taint n sniff his fingers




    Oh my. I am dying laughing. Hilarious!! @mommyliciousx4

    Ok, @handtowellady needs to read this thread. Sicko! ;)

    community-manager


  • ClueLessMommaClueLessMomma
    Posts: 19Member
    My dd5 and I were giving the dogs a bath the other day. Afterwards my dd kept saying "mom, Rosie smells like pee". I told her it was just "wet dog" smell. Then she hits me with it! "No Mom, I peed in the dog shampoo!" No wonder she wouldn't put her hand in the dog shampoo!!
  • OpheliaOphelia
    Posts: 4,866Member
    Lmao @cluelessmomma that sounds like something my dd4 would do!
    Nothing left to do but smile, smile, smile.. -Grateful Dead<3
  • fantasticalmamafantasticalmama
    Posts: 139Member
    Kids are just gross in general. My DD1.5 will put ANYTHING in her mouth. I have to keep the bathroom trashcans on the counter top after the "great tampon discovery" - worst part is I'm pregnant, it was not mine. Just thinking about it makes me want to heave.
  • scholarmom4
    Posts: 621Member
    Up until ds3 was about 2 and a half, whenever we would try to get him to nap, he would shit (I swear on purpose!) then procede to take his pull up off and wipe shit everywhere! And I mean everywhere!! The walls, his bed, his toys, clothes that he pulled out of the drawers. His face, legs, arms, all over his freakin body! He even ate some a couple of times! I sat on his bedroom floor with bleach and a rag and cried and cried one day! It was awful!!! He was a repeat offender many times over!!! So nasty!
  • scholarmom4
    Posts: 621Member
    One time when dd14 was about two years old, I put her down for a nap in a toddler bed not paying attention to the jar of vaseline sitting within arms reach of her. Went to check on her and she had it lathered all through her hair, down her arms and had been eating it!! Nasty! It was so hard to clean off her too! Got her all cleaned up and put her back down and FORGOT the vaseline!! Of course she did it again!!! Ugh!! Gross!