I cannot say that I have ever been in your shoes on this subject, unless you count a dominating ex-husband that was willing to beat me into submission.  Another thread there.  But my heart breaks for anyone that has gone through this.  This is one topic I never seem to have words for because it is just so evil and painful.  I am so sorry.  (((hugs)))

I already stated this in another thread but I will reiterate here. I was raped by my friends father when I was 9. I was hanging out with her and having a good time and didn't want to go home when it got to dinner time. Her father suggested that I could stay for the night and she got really nervous. I was very young but I knew something was wrong and ignored my instincts. I didn't want to go home. We were pretending to be asleep and it was late but kids being how they are we we screwing around and when he came into the room I thought we were goo.g to get in trouble for it. He never said a word about it. He just told me that there was something he.want to show me. I looked over at my friend and she had tears in her eyes and she whispered that she was sorry. I was upset at that but her father kind of rushed me into the living room. Then he was calming me down supposedly... Rubbing my back and arms. I think it would have been a molestation only, if he hadn't realized how physically mature I was. At the age of 9 almost 10 I was almost as tall as my mother and had larger than B cup breasts and I had started my period a couple of months before. He got closer and closer to me while he talked to me about how pretty I was and when I tried to get up he held me down on the couch. It wasn't a fast event or? even violent. It was coheresive (sp?)rape. I was 9 years old and had no idea what to do to try and stop him but I asked him to not touch me or to stop several times. He didn't stop. He did thing to me that as an adult I understand a lot better. Through out my teens and early twenties I worked really hard to claim my own sexuality and to understand that there wasn't anything wrong with me for wanting to have sex. I have refused to let his actions define who I am as a woman. I did tell my mother about two months after the fact. She went to the police.....they weren't much help. My mother's drug dealer and his buddies were......I burned the photos when I moved to AZ when I was 13....I never saw his daughter again after that night. But she was no longer living with him when he had his "visit" from some guys. And I was happy she got away..

I won't go into details, but I was molested by my brother at age 11, and then raped by a group of guys at 18. So if anyone needs support I am here

It's happened to me 3x but only once that I have overcome enough to talk about.
my early days as a raver and my first time taking ecstacy I took 3 pills. Scantily clad with a friend, in skanky attire as was my norm. We were cold, drinking alcohol too and her friend invited us to sit in his car. The next thing I know shes getting out of the car, the guys climbing in the back and I am saying no. But im too high and hes holding my down, my struggles too pitiful my screams unheard over the drum and bass. Then it goes black and im outside naked on the ground. My friend picks me up and carries me to car takes me to our rides house and helps me shower. I had a seizure while he was fucking me and they freaked out and tossed me out of car

Provocative clothing is NEVER an excuse for rape. Your "bad" decisions are NOT why you are raped, you are raped because an animal, in humans clothes came across you, at an opportune time. And he violated your basic human rights. It is NEVER, EVER, your fault....any of you.

I wish I could hug you all. But I wish even more, that I could wipe from your minds any thought that any part of the terrible things you experienced were in ANY way your fault.

Holy Hell @Goddess, your ex called you an enabler!?? Thats bullshit. I am so sorry that happened to you. 

@goddess...NO!  He is NOT right.  He is wrong and using your weakened emotional state to control you.  Do not listen to that POS assbag.  Best thing for him is a bullet.

MyInnerGoddess said:

@goddess...NO!  He is NOT right.  He is wrong and using your weakened emotional state to control you.  Do not listen to that POS assbag.  Best thing for him is a bullet.

Couldn't agree more, he is completely wrong. I have my own story that I still don't like to talk about because I don't want it to define how people see me when they look
ar me. That fuckstick was not good enough for u to be married to and he sure as hell has his head up his ass. >:D<

Not sure exactly how to address your last post @Goddess.  I personally feel that there is not much point in reporting it now as it was long enough ago, that they will most likely do nothing and it will just end up tormenting you. I think you definitely need to talk about it, at least as much as you are comfortable divulging.  That can either be with your therapist, a close friend, family or here.  I can think of a million different things I could do to that guy, but you really do not need to add that list to your life.  Just know that we are here and truly do care for and about you.  HUGE (((hugs))) darlin.  >:D<

@Goddess how long ago did it happen? As long as it is within the statute of limitations they can prosecute him!!

My comment to Goddess was not meant to insinuate that she was anywhere near the statute of limitations being exhausted, but that I know her struggles.  It has been almost a year and a half and any "evidence" would be non-existent.  No one would ever like/want to think that this will happen to someone else because they themselves did not "report" it.  But there are a lot of issues at play here and because they (Goddess and this scumbag) run in some of the same circles with some of the same people, it is something that weighs very heavily on her.  They were friends, she trusted him, maybe even innocently flirted with him.  Friends like him and her, saw or perceived some of these things, etc etc.  Not the point at all, but, it is the perception.  Anyone that has been in these shoes, knows the shame (though completely unjustified) that comes with it and until we have been in exactly their situation with the same circumstances, we cannot begin to know how we would react.  And these offenders that pull this shit?  MOST people would NEVER suspect them.  Face it...if statistics show that more than 70% of victims KNOW their attacker, then obviously these people know how to put others at ease and blend into society as one of the "normal" people.

My concern is this:  Goddess has had an overwhelming amount of trials and challenges along with the emotional devastation that goes with them.  She is just beginning to get a handle on some of these issues and is making EXCELLENT strides at getting back to "herself."  Maybe, down the road, when she is stronger, has more control over her life, feelings and grounding she may reconsider.  But if/until/when she is ready, that is her decision to make.  It is different for everyone and not something that should be discussed in a way as to put even more pressure on them (this is not an accusation, merely an observation).

The reality is, that there are always going to be those that judge (sadly, that is what society does).  Society also has the ability to control perception, to an extent. This is what initiates the original fear victims have in reporting these things in the first place.  It's a fact because the proof is all over the page in their fears of being judged, ridiculed, and accused of "deserving" it.  No one feels this way unless society makes them feel this way because of either personal experience, or events in the media that brings these negative responses to the surface.  It is ALL wrong, but it is a reality.  At some point, we have to be not only compassionate, but also understanding of the torment that actions like this bring.  "Handle with Care" should be stamped everywhere as the individual needs support, love, understanding, and a roadmap to reclaim their life.  It's a process, it takes time and it takes effort, both on the part of the individual that was violated as well as society.   I could go on forever, as I sit and think about so many things....

My only concern is for the health, mental stability and well being of any individual that endures any act like this.  And, the bottom line...first and foremost...is that they need to know they have value, that they didn't deserve this, that people do care and there is HOPE and that THEY MATTER.    Love and hugs to all of you ladies that have had to endure such a volatile, painful, devastating situation.  Please know that you are in a safe place here and we will listen.  We will pray and we will help and support you.  >:D<  [-O<

Alright, I've never told anyone this before. Ever.

@goddess. I do think you need to tell. I was abused by a family friend for years. I told my parents at 18 but refused to tell the police until years later. For me, because some of the abuse was before I was 14, there was no statute of limitations. What made me tell? The young girl next door to him killed herself, she killed herself after telling her parents what happened, but before the police could have time to prosecute. She was 18 at the time.
If I had told, he'd have been in jail, where he is now, instead of abusing her. I could have prevented her from being his victim. And I didn't.
I do not mean to sound like your ex, I understand why you don't want to tell. I completely understand. But you need to tell, if it saves one woman from feeling this, isn't it worth it?

@myinnergoddess  i wasnt saying she had to i was just saying shes got at least 10 years and she can still report it.  sometimes reporting it and getting the jack ass arrested is helpful.  but i know i love goddess here and i don't want to see her hurting.  if i could i would fly out to texas  find that rat bastard and tourture his ass to make it so he never ever does that to anyone again.  or has the ability to do it again.   no one deserves to go through what any of these women on here have gone through.    i nknow what its like feeling dirty and guilty.   my experience wasnt half as bad as any ones on here.  it was just a kiss and fondling in a gas station but i felt horrible.   Dont let them win.  I will personally be someones cheer leader if they need it or shoulder to cry on.  and if you live close enough i can have my dh go out and take care of the guy. he has lots of sharp shiny toys!

@Daystart8531, no worries babe.  I wasn't feeling defensive at all and I didn't take your post that way :) 

@shotgulovinlady...my heart just flat shattered for you.  I never ever want to make anyone feel like they are "that poor soul" that everyone looks at with sympathy and a sense of acceptance of how pitiful their life must be.  I hate when people do that.  But, I am really struggling to find the words to say right now through the tears I am shedding for what you have been through.  It is unfathomable and incomprehensible the level of horror and suffering you endured.  Quite honestly, I am so proud of you for having the presence of mind to shoot that evil bastard and send him right the fuck where he belongs.  I am physically sick for you.  My prayer is that you KNOW that you are not to blame, that you did the right thing, that you have nothing to be ashamed of, and that you are LOVED...right here, by us.  You are safe here. 

I have read your other posts (some of them anyway) and I know you are still hurting and not in a happy place.  So often, this is a cycle that is a direct result of past abuse and low self esteem.  Please, keep talking to us.  Let us build you up and give you the strength you need.  Let us care about you.  Hmmm...I am not saying this as well as I would like and am falling apart.  So, I am going to stop here, but please know that you are home here and have a voice!  (((hugs)) and love to you!

It's never about the sex. It's about control and feeling powerful. I think that's why it takes so much out of the victim, because it's a power struggle and we lost. None of us had control over their actions, but we can decide if we're going to let it destroy us.

I am so sorry for all that you gals have gone through.  Its so heartbreaking to read.  Especially the incest stories...I don't know how you all got through it.

 

Hugs to you all.

Oh @KyBlossom.  Please know that there is hope and healing.  There is a way to get past the pain and damage that you have suffered.  It is incomprehensible that anyone can do the things these sick bastards do let alone get away with them.  I am so sorry for your pain and everything that you have lost.  Please know that we care and you are safe here.  You can talk and we will listen and lift you up.  >:D<

>:D< @KyBLossom

@still_ur_mommy I think that is a wonderful idea.  You are doing what someone should have done for these ladies long ago.  Thank you.  :)

Sooo very wrong @momofeveryone. 

After reading all these, Im furious and sad that there are soo many men that are such fucking asshats. Having to stoop to drugging a women. Where is the pleasure in a woman that is passed out ffs? Or men that should have been protectoring their family, not hurting them. They should all be casturated...

@MyInnerGoddess me too. first time ive told the whole story to anyone other then DH.

Wow. I had to stay away from this thread a little, but i am so amazed at the strength and courage you women have displayed!