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Non Mommy friends ....reaction to post today
  • NOLAMOMMA
    Posts: 24Member
    Oh wow....I could go on forever in this subject.

    Considering my oldest is 18 and my little ones are 9.  I am 41.  I have a core group of girlfriends that goes all the way back to junior high. We all know each other very very well. Not all of us are mothers. In fact, only 2 of us are. Or were...up until recently.

    The 2 moms have been un-invited to non "kid-friendly" events. We have been plain  not included in trips, outings, dinners, lunches, etc because we have kids. We got it. We understood. Feelings were hurt, but we got over it. After all, we were too busy to dwell.....

    Fast forward to now.  Our non moms are having babies! I must say that I am taking great delight in saying that no, you can't come. Not with an infant. Sorry. You will have to find a sitter......

    I have childless friends who found it necessary at one time or another to correct my kids (VERY RARE..my kids are well behaved thank God) or make comments about when they were going to bed....

    All I can say is  IT'S YOUR TURN NOW!!!!!!
  • [Deleted User]
    Posts: 7,022
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
    well behaved women seldom make history
  • TypoFaeryTypoFaery
    Posts: 1,940Member
    I say pop some popcorn and enjoy the show. I am going through this as well and it is soooo satisfying to see the same people who would all plan things that they damn well knew that I couldnt go to with a baby now stuck in my place.
  • Anonymous
    Posts: 29,314
    Ha!  I have a friend that was ridiculously uptight when she was childless and I would come over with my 2 year old.  Very well behaved kid I might add!  She couldn't deal, and was all tense and uptight the whole time we were there.

    Then she had her kid, later in life, who was pretty much horrid for the first 7 years.   I must admit to a sick sense of satisfaction there, and hearing her complain about HER childless friends not inviting her over.  Can we just say karma?

    It's all good now and her child is a pre-teen and pretty awesome but still.
  • AnonUser37
    Posts: 1,765Member
    I think I might be in the minority, having really never had this happen to me....until I read this blog post I didn't realize it really happened outside of cosmo articles. What kind of bitch does that to "friends"!?!?
  • MarySunshineMarySunshine
    Posts: 5,462Member
    We are seriously lucky. We have friends that take our little guy into consideration when they make plans or host get togethers. A lot of our friends also have nieces and nephews they see often so they are used to being around kids.

    I posted on Jill's original blog post that the biggest change in friends we had was after we got married and before we became parents. We decided to go the "domestic" route and some of our friends were't there yet....so they either faded into time, or became good acquaintances. We have a great time if we see them at get togethers and we catch up, but we don't necessarily make plans to hang out anymore.
    I'm as sexy as a burp mid-kiss. Watch out!

  • DemandaDemanda
    Posts: 4,484Member
    I guess I'm lucky in the friend department.  Only one of my good, longtime friends is a mom.  The rest still invite me to everything, even though it is still precluded by "you probably can't come, but..."  For the most part, they are more than willing to come here and hang with me when they know I can't get out of the house.  I have this urge, after reading this thread to go tell them how much I appreciate them.  I do have other friends with kids, but they are really just acquaintances.
    "The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off." ~ Gloria SteinemPhotobucket
  • NOLAMOMMA
    Posts: 24Member
    To be fair, one of my girlfriends is childless - by choice. She has been married for 23 years. They chose not to have kids. Kids are ALWAYS welcome & invited to their home. She has a very large family & her house is usually over run with kids anyway.

    I have some friends who desperately want kiddos, but never found the right man. I have friends that can not have kids. I have friends that have come to the conclusion that they won't ever have them & that's ok at this point in their life.

    But there are the few that just kill me. The ones that always felt the need to remind me that whatever was happening wasn't kid friendly....or we didn't think you would be able to come because of the kids....or WHATEVER. Now with new borns, the tables are turned.....

    And shame on me for loving it just a little too much! :)

    My kids are 9 years apart in age, and my youngest-- TWINS. So I was double the crying kid!
  • RosettaSmurf
    Posts: 118Member
    My best friend doesn't have kids, yet. Her and are husband are trying.......hard. But, they are amazing with my two kids (who arent the best behaved kids in the world, except in public). Her and her husband, who are Aunt and Uncle to my kids, both have permission to correct when need be. She is like my sister, i love her as such and even get a bit of the holidays with her and her husband. I hope to God

    that she conceives and can carry the next baby.
    I really want a niece or nephew.



    Anyway, my point (why does it do this?) not all of non-parent friends are inclined to forget about mommy-friends.
    [-O<     O:-)
  • LoveLove
    Posts: 12,789Administrator, Moderator
    I only have just less than a handful of acquaintances that aren't parents. We only socialize with them on non-kid weekends at the bars and what-not.
    All my real friends have children, and all our get-togethers are planned around everyone's kid schedule. Some are kid-friendly, some are not, but we all have schedules to plan around with everyone's kids, and like real friends should, we make sure no one is left out regardless of their kid situation.

    It's ridiculous IMO to even still call someone 'friend' who disregards the basic facts of your life (your KIDS) when making plans.

    community-manager


  • shadylaneshadylane
    Posts: 3,037Member
    My bff has 3 kids but does not have any of them. They are all with their fathers. I love her to death but sometimes when I complain about something to do with dd she will say something like welcome to mommyhood, and that really irritates me. She is able to do whatever whenever she wants! She sees them when its convenient for her. I know she's had a hard life and a lot of bad luck but she's made a lot of bad decisions. The first one she was very young but the second one she made the choice to leave him and her husband and run off with another guy who ended up beating her, and then had his baby. She had to leave him and couldn't take the kid as she had no means to take care of him. She is 30 and has 3 baby daddies and has been divorced twice. I know she knows how it is to be a mom and she does work her ass off but she hasn't raised any of them past 3 years old. Actually sometimes I get a little jealous that she has freedom. When we go out she can stay out all night and go home with random guys and not have to worry about getting up in the morning hungover. She doesn't seem to understand why I want to go home. Not that I want to go home with random guys but ukwim.
    ~slim shady~
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