Favorite curse phrases?

notperfect

I have learned some awesome phrases on this site Captain fuckstick, Fuckchop, fucktard, and twat waffle just to name a few. The one that most frequently comes out of my mouth is ShitFire! Don't ask me where it came from I have no idea but it feels good to say it.

Anyone else got any good ones?

[Deleted User]

I say FUCKING SHIT wayyy more often than I should. Like yesterday, when I left my card in the ATM and drove off..and my 2 year old repeated it..
Shitballs! Is also a favorite :)
Oh! And my mom used to use the phrase "Shit fire and save matches!"

fatchickonabike

Milder ones include, but are not limited to:
jeez Louise
son of a beehive
POOP! (usually when around DD)
bloody hell
shipoopi
Oh, Buddha

I also use:
Jesus on a hill
Piss up a rope
Christ on a crutch
Fucking shit
Maudit goddamn (when I'm channeling my Acadian maternal grandfather)
Fuck a duck
Fuckadoodledoo

Preferred insults:
Dickweed (usually used in traffic)
Dingus
Doofus
Turkey
Nimrod
Asspicker
Fuckhead
Twerp
Dingledorf
Pissant

Mai

Cock whore
Jerk fuck
Jack ass
Jack wagon

BeerWench

When I want my husbands attention "Jesus Christ" - he HATES it. Otherwise I pretty good at droping the Fbomb

somanyboysandme

" For the sake of fucking God" and "Jesus F'ing Christ" when I walk into a mess. I know they are bad and I shouldn't say them and as soon as my kids move out I plan to stop.

Crash

Jesus fucking christ is my 'under the breath' curse.

Idiot. Fucking idiot.

Douche. Douchebag.

Dumbass. Fucking dumbass.

I'm not terribly creative.

deviltwinsmomma

JESUS H. FUCKING CHRIST... I have no idea what jesus christ's middle name is but it came out when I caught the twins "painting" in the hall way it just stuck!

oh my favorite!! you ass fucker

i use jackwagon alot too around the kids

LA_PygmyHerder

Jeebus Wepticus, Turdblossom, Fuckwit, douchemonkey, and since I'm southern "Bless your lil pee peckin' heart!"

chaosmom

Ass monkey
crack monkey
This sucks big, hairy monkey balls.
(Yes, we like monkeys :) )

Threats around here include:
I'm going to rip off your arm & beat you with the wet end.
Do it one more again!
(Those are from my redneck ass SO!)

momof4

dumb ass, sperm burper, fuckhead,shit head,numb nuts, ass pirate, what the fucking hell, ass munch. so much more but can only seem to remember them when i'm mad....lol

[Deleted User]

use often: yellowbellysapsucker geez louise son of a biscuit eater fuck a duck nothing but a two cent shuffle

well ill be dick van dyke!! and now especially since on sm fuck gets throw around especially fucktard.

BrunetteMomma07

Shit the bed Fred!
Fuck a duck!
Shit the bed!
And ......shit damn cock balls! Yes it's all as one! Lol

[Deleted User]

The user and all related content has been deleted.

AnonUser37

Fucktard. Douchenozzle. Jizz pirate. Twatwaffle (thank you sm). Mother fucker. Cunt (yeah I know everyone gets upset but I love that word). Jesus Christ and jesusmaryandjosephandallthenatives are heard quite often. Shit, dammit, goddammit, fuck balls and fuckeroony.

Also, for my ex, and a few other special people, anal cum bubble.

Demanda

cum guzzler

shamrock

STFU...shut the fuck up!
suck my ass (driving)
douchebag motherfucker (driving)
Suck it! Suck it! Thank you Kathy Griffin!
twat
dumbass
Bite my ass
piece of shit
FUCK THAT FUCK THAT!!! Thank you Korn!

When I can't understand what someone is saying, I like to tell em "get the dick outta your mouth"!! Though sometimes I have to say it to myself instead of out loud...

[Deleted User]

@shamrock! Get the dick outta your mouth! LMAO!

DH always says "quit talkin out the side of your neck!"

CanadianMama

I think "fuck" might be my favourite word. I've noticed as my daughter has started mimicking more and I've had to watch what I say more that fuck is the word that I censor the most!

I like frackity frack frack to express exacerbation.

Fucking hell

Fucking A

Shit balls

Holy Hell

Fucking Hell

Holy Shit Balls, holy fucking shit balls, I think the more severe the situation the more swear words I try to squeak in :D

WickedDunkieJunkie

Dingleberry

DingleFucker

DickFucker

BitchBag

MotherFather

Kakabel

Jesus Cluny Frog on a Pogo stick!
Ye gods and leetle Feeshies!
May the fleas of a thousand caribou infest your pubic hair!
May your dick wither like a 1,000 year old sausage...and be as much use to you!

Do that again and I'm going to shave you BALD! (to the cats)

Kakabel

Oh I forgot
You rancid piece of street meat!
and
You necroscopic, narcoleptic WHORE!

momofeveryone

if a person is a douch bag, they are not awsome enough to be called a douch, they insead are called a bag. 'you bag!'. it keeps 'em guessing lol

also fuck and shit in various forms.

sybil

Fucknut and Fuck your mother

Sammie

When I get hurt, I tend to just say a string of expletives that make NO sense. I can't help it! Last night, I rammed my toes on a metal baby gate and said something along the lines of "shit damn fuck motherfucker bitch ass piece of shit dick". Yeah, not my most shining example of my linguistic skills.

meandmy243 · mom of wild children going to the chapel 7/5/2014

I cuss like a drunken sailor in a whore house on leave... So here my list of most common and a few phrases i use..
Motherfucking ass wiper
holy fucking shit batman
fucktard
fucktart
fuckwad
cumfart
dickweed
dillhole
Cumshart
cum guzzling gutter whore
douchewad
Douchewaffle
twat waffle
twatter
holy horse tits
good fucking god
dont give a flying fuck whos fucking monkies
who made you queen of the crack whores
not worth the dried up cum on your brothers left testical
asshat
cum dumpster.. Thats off the top of my head.. And no where near my top 50.. Lol i have a potty mouth..

notperfect

Oh my these are giving me a good laugh, keep them comming!

Jess

I like to tell things and people to "suck a hot bag of dicks."
For example my headache was so fucking annoying the other day I told my husband that this headache can suck a hot bag of dicks. He was drinking a coke at the time and got some up his nose. Hee hee

Stars

Oh my I have many that spew from my angry lips but my favorite is you slimey rotten cum bubble. usually makes someone laugh if they are close enough to hear it.

StrictlyMommy

mine are usually but not limited to:

Oh for shit sakes

do it one more time (thats a curse to my three year old)

re-fucking-diculous

keep it up and ill blacken your eyes you lily ass ( im so loving towards my BF :p)

dishes (also a curse in my house)

bed (see above)

i keep my curses on the DL since its the mommy voice that puts the meaning behind it... i could say cookies in my house and make the family run scared :D :D

breezy

@texas .... :D

Texas

Thank you dear @breezy

Tomorrow he shall be greeted with "dick cheese"

:D

Love

I'm so laughing so loud I woke Spawn up LMFAO

I'm good with fuck and any and all derivatives of it. It's probably my go-to word, that and God DAMN it. I probably say that one too much, cuz Spawn runs around the house saying "Dod dammmit" when the older kids piss him off...

The string? God damn mother fucking son of a whore dog BITCH ! <-- Usually reserved for pain associated with the goddamn midnight lego ninja dance, and the stupid douche nozzles that pull out in front of me in traffic.

Fake (or not) threats of violence to the kids and/or spouse and/or other various family members :

One more time, and I will beat the hair off your head!

Do you WANT me to rip your arm(or dick) off and beat you to death with it?

Roll your fucking eyes at me ONE MORE goddam time, and I will knock them out of your fucking head.

And the quiet, no swearing, deadly one, that means someone's about to get their ass kicked:

One. More. Time. Try me. I dare you.

fatchickonabike

I completely forgot:
Jesus H. Tap-Dancing Christ
shit on a stick
shit in a dish
shadoobie

Sometimes I just string random swears together, as in:
shitfuckgoddamn or, (in moments of extreme provocation) sonofabitchbastardwhorefucker

[Deleted User]

....Fuck you and the cum you came in on!! Yes, I do say this from time to time and one of my favs to say just dont say it often to rem yesterday. I have never heard anyone else say it

notperfect

I have now resorted to calling people "captain" as captain fuckstick is not professional.

I also have a friend who banged her elbow, when I asked her if she was ok she looked me dead in the eye and said I. Could. Speak. Chinese. I laughed so hard I could barely stand, not exactly a curse but just as satisfying.

notperfect

Bump

PurpleFlowers

Jackfuck, jackass, sonofabitchenmotherfucker, prickfucker. Those are some of my favorites

LA_PygmyHerder

Fuckwit, Fucktard, For Fuck's sake!, dipshit, and self made sonuvabitch Yes, I say FUCK a LOT!

Crash

I heard a new one last week: Dicktruck. Stop being such a dicktruck. Yep. My new favorite! Lol.

Sassy

notperfect said:
I have now resorted to calling people "captain" as captain fuckstick is not professional. I also have a friend who banged her elbow, when I asked her if she was ok she looked me dead in the eye and said I. Could. Speak. Chinese. I laughed so hard I could barely stand, not exactly a curse but just as satisfying.

Bahahaha!

I say "Holy Fucking Monkey Balls" or "Holy Monkey Balls" depending on the audience...

anotheranon

Motherfucker, For Chrissakes or For Fucks sake, Holy Crap on a cracker or mothertrucker if I'm at work. I have noticed since I've been on SM I swear around my kids more... I doubt that's a good thing /:)

justme_hope_its_enuf

Fuckchop...always and forever.

Followed closely by shitfire...as that just seems to make me look more professional in the office! ;)

MyInnerGoddess

I have used most of these and more but my favorite go to phrase (when I really do not like someone and they have chapped the last healthy patch of skin on my ass)..."YOU are the wad your father should have shot on the wall!!!" or...the wad your mother should have swallowed.

I get a little bitter sometimes....lol

ausmomma

i am always calling the exhusband an asshat. I curse like a drunken sailor but Im trying to cut back

mamabish

I just throw in some form of fuck into anything. A good 'motherfucker' said aloud is like therapy for me. I try my hardest to not cuss in front of the kids, so when I am without them every other fucking word out of my fucking mouth is fuck and it makes me fucking happy.