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He's worse than I feared
  • TerrapinDragonfly
    Posts: 76Member
    Some of you may remember me stating that fresh after my 5yr breakup a gorgeous, successful, genuine and kind man came in to, "hire" me who also is rumored to have admired me.

    I accepted the job offer, and so did my friend (she was offered too) who has been in love with him (so is EVERY OTHER WOMAN in this town) but doesn't know he likes me.

    I went out last night to a favorite venue to see a favorite band. He was, of course, there too. He worked really hard all night to make sure that he talked to me and show interest in me. Mutual friends were trying to push us together.


    After the bar he walked me to my car, but actually convinced me to go ahead and walk further around town with him and talk. This turned into talking for a few hours. Neither of us were drunk and the conversation was wildly stimulating, which I very much appreciated. Although I don't want a relationship, he was beginning to win me over in the realm of- "I would like to get to know you better". This is so cliche but he cutely took off his jacket and in a silly way slung it over me because I was shivering.

    As we got close to my car he asked to detour again to his apartment in town (he has two other houses out of town) for just a while longer to chat. Our conversation got very deep and personal but it was comfortable. He finally blatantly said, "So you must know by now that I have a huge crush on you."

    I just kind of breathed in really deep and held it in.

    He continued, "I'll be good, but would you come out to my house with me, I just really would like to be around you."

    MY CRAZY STUPID ASS FOLLOWED HIM TO HIS SPRING HOUSE. I was following him and punching myself in the head the whole way, but still following.

    There we continued to talk and eventually he kissed me. Then he hugged me for a really long time- in such a gentle and tender way that I didn't feel threatened, just fully appreciated. He said, "This is all I've been wanting to do for so long. Just this."

    Again, I just sucked in some air and couldn't breathe it back out.

    He grabbed my hand and led me around the property and showed me his pond (beautiful) and he made sure to keep me on my feet as it is Appalachian foothills out here, pulling me up if I tripped. We continued talking and every one in a while he would sort of come over and cradle me in his arms a little and just tap a kiss on my forehead or upper cheek, etc. Eventually he admitted that since the day he met me he hasn't been able to get me out of his mind. He says that between my friend liking him, my not being single, our age difference, etc. he has tried really, really hard to just forget about it, dismiss it, whatever he could do- but that nothing would work. He said that seeing me around town over the years has been driving him insane and that he can hardly stand to be in the same room some times because he felt so pent up.

    LOL this story is so long I have to post the rest in comments.. sorry if u cant bear to read it all but I have to write it so I can help process it!

  • TerrapinDragonfly
    Posts: 76Member
    cont....

    This didn't scare me because actually I have been feeling the same way too although we are virtual strangers- but my having a boyfriend I was in love with really helped me push those thoughts to the back of my mind, only to have them pop up every once in a while in an intense way.

    So yeah... he completely respected me but I did stay the night.

    So the next day he convinced me to come to his other house to meet his cat and have breakfast. On the way out I found a four leaf clover and gave it to him. We got to his other house and he made breakfast and tea and showed me the books he is reading. His house is COVERED in beautiful, amazing books. All of them are written on in the margins with sentences highlighted, underlined... so many books.

    He pretty much immediately washed the dishes after breakfast.

    Afterwards we went hiking and he made sure to hold me up as we hopped across rocks over the river.

    When we hit a sunny clearing in the woods near his house he paused, removed my glasses and began to determine my eye color, noticing a goldish ring around my pupils. We kissed again.

    Some other points that I should mention are that he listens to me when I am speaking. He actually paraphrases me some times or will question what I am saying until he understands fully if he is confused.
    He times his playfulness/silliness and the most tender of moments, making them even more special. He makes it a point to open every single door for me. (I am NO PRINCESS and have NEVER asked to be or been treated like one). His compliments are genuine and heartfelt. He had a huge smile pretty much the entire time I was there, he didn't want me to leave. His houses were not OCD clean but they were pretty damn clean. Lol and he plays guitar :P

    Down points (maybe not bad for me but maybe bad) are: I think he may want me to quit smoking and try being vegetarian. lol.


    I told him that under no circumstances can I be in a relationship and I do not want to hurt my X by having an overt anything with another man right now, it's too fresh.

    He said that he just wants to be my friend, but can't help himself but to hug me and kiss me some times, that we have all sorts of fun to be had this spring- and that's all that we really need to worry about. Nothing serious, nothing obligatory with boundaries or commitments. That he is just overjoyed to finally get to hang out with me.




    This man has spun my head so bad and I did NOT see this coming. What is happening? Don't want people to think I am a cold bitch for turning right around and falling for another man but DAMMIT HOW CAN I NOT FALL FOR THIS MAN?!

    More importantly, do you guys think that he really wants to have a no strings attached spring fling or is he sure he can lure me into a relationship?

    He said to me at one point, "I'd love to see you but I understand if you want to see other men- I'm a one woman kind of man but that's just me"

    How LOADED is THAT?! I don't really want to see ANY men right now, let alone more than one.. but this one is just so... just so.... I think I'm going to faint.
  • Thisisthenamethatneverendsitgoesonandonmyfriend
    Posts: 1,484Member
    Sometimes things can't be stopped but don't rush and enjoy being single.
  • crazymama2twocrazymama2two
    Posts: 843Member
    I'll trade. This sounds like a movie. Yay you
  • TerrapinDragonfly
    Posts: 76Member
    Yeah it's F-IN ridiculous, I keep pinching myself but also I am just SO DAMN SCARED =( Don't want to f it up or have this guy be the one that got away- but don't want to mess it up by not giving myself the right amount of time or hurt others because they can't understand how amazing he is
  • SassySassy
    Posts: 2,460Member
    Oh holy cow! You could write a romance novel with your life right now!
  • TerrapinDragonfly
    Posts: 76Member
    I thought I was just going to take the job and skirt the line until I was ready but NO- he pulled THIS on me. He just dived right in but said he isn't diving just dipping his toe. 
    I really am wondering though if he can do THIS in a 24 hours period what the hell else does he have up his sleeve, so scared to hurt my X and my good friend who likes this man!
  • Kry
    Posts: 93Member
    Oh yeah, he totally knows that if he keeps you around long enough, you will marry him and have 50 million of his babies.  ;) Honestly, I don't see the harm in just being friends with him and seeing where things go. When I first started dating my DH, he was coming down off a relationship. He spent three months giving me the run around about going out, but once he did, I couldn't get rid of him! :p
  • TerrapinDragonfly
    Posts: 76Member
    @Kry Thanks for addressing my questions, I just dont know how long we can keep it at a friends level because the passion is building QUICKLY

    So I guess the better question is, do men like this actually exist or are they serial killers? LOL!
  • AnonUser30
    Posts: 1,916Guest
    Just curious, what's the age difference?? And. Wow.
  • monstamomonstamo
    Posts: 486Member
    I wasn't sure if I was on SM or switched over to my IBook, you know Shades of Grey....was wondering when we were getting to the bookmarked page!

    Enjoy the attention..but take your time and be careful.
  • LifeofchaosLifeofchaos
    Posts: 984Member
    I really thought at the end you were going to say this is a storyline you were working on!!!! Lol

    Sometimes the most wonderful things happen when we are least expecting them. 16 years ago I went on a date w a man telling him upfront that I had no intentions of getting in a relationship (had only broke up w high school sweetheart 2 mos prior) wanted to live the single life, find myself, etc etc. Fate had other plans..... We celebrated our 15 year wedding anniversary last month. Go for it!! The heart wants what the heart wants
  • TerrapinDragonfly
    Posts: 76Member
    @LivinTheDream The age difference is 15 years, less than my last relationship I don't know how I keep getting wrapped up in older men because I try like hell to avoid it.
  • BlessieBlessie
    Posts: 1,496Member
    Men like that exist, but they are few and far between. I would keep an eye out for inconsitacies, just in case, but he sounds goooooood. Biggest worry? The job/relationship aspect.
  • pdxmama
    Posts: 1,470Member
    Like others have said, I think you'd want to either date him or work for him...but not both.
  • TerrapinDragonfly
    Posts: 76Member
    @skatermom @pdxmama @blessie I have my own job that is stable and that I will keep doing. What he wants to hire me for are to help him plan a large event and to do extensive research for him on a topic of interest. These things seem like something I can pull off in my free time but I can also stand to lose.
  • onetimeonetime
    Posts: 2,013Member
    @terrapinDragonfly, you are smart to keep the work as a "side" project. I think you are making the right steps, just keep it slow, and your eyes open. Good luck! :)
    Suck it up buttercup!
  • tothemoonandbacktothemoonandback
    Posts: 2,147Member
    Wow.. I'm really happy for you and what this could be.  Just enjoy, relax.. Can't wait to hear what happens!!
    Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius, and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring. - Marilyn Monroe
  • runbitchrunrunbitchrun
    Posts: 907Member
    Are I sure he's not a woman? :)

    He sounds great. I think we gals question things too much. If it feels right, go for it!!
  • BlessieBlessie
    Posts: 1,496Member
    Well that makes the situation a LOT better. (Employment)

    In that case, you need to go to your friend, and be honest about the POSSIBILITY of a relationship happening. Don't wait. It make it seem worse and worse to her the longer you wait to tell he after it's going on.
  • MysonMason
    Posts: 100Member
    I like to think everything happens for a reason. This guy sounds wonderful! I say follow your heart and do what feels right. (I broke up with my bf of 6 years and 9 months later was married. Then my xdh left and I was pregnant and living with SO three months later. This was the path I had to take to meet my son!) I would jump in with two feet but not everyone can. Good luck!
  • AnonUser24
    Posts: 2,607Guest
    I might be cynical... But he sounds too good to be true. For me personally I would take it very slowly. Some men are professional at playing women. I'm really sorry to be so pessimistic, but just warning you. I hope for your sake that he is genuine though.
  • monstamomonstamo
    Posts: 486Member
    And if it doesn't work out and he has a thing for older women...
  • TerrapinDragonfly
    Posts: 76Member
    @monstamo That's what my older women friends in RL keep telling me too =) I think he does like older women judging by his X's... I don't have a thing for older men but I also am really hard on younger men who don't have their shit together and/or have immaturity issues... so I reject them and then leave myself vulnerable to get swept up by older men that can actually communicate, don't need a mother, and have years of practice seducing women haha. I'm in so much trouble LOL I just agreed to go "work on stuff" today. Wish me luck.
  • TerrapinDragonfly
    Posts: 76Member
    @freedomlover I wondered about that too except for the fact that the friends I know and love deeply are also all his friends. We run into each other at BBQs, bonfires, weddings etc. all the time as a result. I live in a pretty small town and all of the women here are obsessed with him, they also talk about him constantly and he is apparently NOT a player. He has had a few g/fs who I know who all want him back but they have issues, which are apparent to me as well, that were deal breakers for him. Most of the women that are constantly throwing themselves at him have not slept with him though they want to and would in a heart beat. That's the nice and bad thing about a small town- he knows A LOT about me too I'm sure.
  • TerrapinDragonfly
    Posts: 76Member
    @Blessie Thank you for that advice, I think I will make sure to do that soon.
  • monstamomonstamo
    Posts: 486Member
    I have never met a man who didn't need mothering. Of course that could be because I mother everyone I come in contact with!
  • AnonUser30
    Posts: 1,916Guest
    @freedomlover - I so didn't want to be the first one to put the warning out there.  My exhusband was like this in the beginning, then slowly became super controlling. It was little things....Not saying this guy is the same, but I'd keep my eyes open. Don't ignore your gut. If it seems to good to be true, it most likely is. This is also the honeymoon phase! LOL So it's all unicorns and rainbows!
    ;)

    I say have fun with it, but keep your eyes open.
  • TerrapinDragonfly
    Posts: 76Member
    @livinthedream I have suspected this because he is trying to tell me to not smoke and just yesterday brought me three books (trying to LEARN me.. lol!), one of which is about healthy eating (he has mentioned me getting to try to be vegetarian). He took me out to dinner last night (I made sure I ordered something with meat in it)  and I didn't have any smokes so I made him stop at the gas station so I could get some and put my foot down, which he was fine with and backed off. We'll see how it goes. I am not controllable. When we were out to dinner a child ran up to me to tell me about a kite that he flew for the first time and was super excited, I just fell in love with this kid instantly and talked to him about flying kites and helped him think about how he might make one himself and the guy I have been speaking about seemed to just be melting into a puddle and studying my face as I was talking to the kid... which is another indicator to me that he is just saying spring fling but means to win me over this spring. Apparently another guy in town noticed his notice of me... asked the man I have been hanging out with what the deal was... and was told to back off! So he's SAYING no boundaries then telling other men to back off!!! But then again he is the type of man that other men would ASK before stepping on his toes. I am really getting tangled up here and we keep realizing how our lifestyle habits mirror each other, etc. So we're sort of dangerously compatible.. lol. We have the exact same car for example with so many uncanny similarities that we have done with it and his mess in his car is the same kind of mess and equal amount of mine, which made me crack a huge smile when I saw it (he assumed I was scrutinizing his level of clutter and I just let him think that's what the reason for my smile was lol) But yeah I really feel like he wants me to do this research project, read all these books, etc so that I am up to the level that he has been working on for himself for years, get me to into super healthy eating habits, etc and I just don't see how that aligns with being just friends and a spring fling. Just trying to go with flow here and not hurt anyone's feelings or let myself get hurt. I made sure I am SUPER busy for the next week so I absolutely don't have any time to see him.
  • monstamomonstamo
    Posts: 486Member
    Novel material I swear. If you don't publish, I promise to steal your story! We can collaborate...but for now, I am waiting on the next installment
  • shadylaneshadylane
    Posts: 3,037Member
    He knows exactly what he's doing, just be careful is all I can tell u
    ~slim shady~
  • TerrapinDragonfly
    Posts: 76Member
    ACK! He said he is making me a key to his spring house so I can go there anytime? Isn't a key more than just attaching another string?? Like a big old shark fishing line with a hook on it? I don't know how to turn it down or if I should. eek.
  • irishlassirishlass
    Posts: 6,735Member
    Holy Toot!!! Take the key, be blazee about it. Suss him out to make sure that he doesnt have a secret hidden sex dungeon or something in his house lol 

    Also, keep documenting, and copyrighting your posts. Get an agent, youve got a good story on your hands!!! 

    Relax and enjoy the experience. You are young and free, just have fun! Life is too short to tiptoe around! 
    "Be who you are and say what you feel. Because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter." - Dr. Seuss
  • PigeonPigeon
    Posts: 681Guest
    First thing I thought was that this may be too good to be true. If it's not, congratulations are in order. But I wouldn't take the key just yet, if you're worried about explaining the no to him, just explain that that's a big step very early on in this budding relationship and you want to slow down a bit. Just make sure that he knows you're still very much interested in him if you say no, because it might hit his pride.
  • BeerWenchBeerWench
    Posts: 2,820Member

    So he is already trying to change you? 

    :¦:-•:*'""*:•.-:¦:-•** She who leaves a trail of glitter is never forgotten**•-:¦:-•:*'""*:• -:¦:-
  • BeerWenchBeerWench
    Posts: 2,820Member
    Sorry - I've been in a very verbally and mentally abusive realtionship and tend to be skeptical.

    On the other hand, I met my husband 3weeks after I left my abusive relationship and we've been married 10yrs this summer.
    :¦:-•:*'""*:•.-:¦:-•** She who leaves a trail of glitter is never forgotten**•-:¦:-•:*'""*:• -:¦:-
  • skooshkaskooshka
    Posts: 179Member
    I don't think you should take the key quite yet.  i think you should tell him that you appreciate the offer, but it is way to early to be giving out keys.

    As for whether men like this exist, they do.  I am married to one.  He is super kind and sweet and sounds just like this guy.  When you push him far enough, he is one angry mother effer....not in a harmful kind of way, but I def stay away from him and give him his space.  Maybe that is the other side of this guy too?  

    as for wanting to change you- vegetarian/smoking.  I think he just cares so much about you that he wants to better you.  My husband is a smoker and all i do is nag him to stop because i don't want to see him suffer through cancer like my grandparents and father just did.  there is nothing good about it.  

    tell him you appreciate his attempts to change your habits because it shows that he cares, but you are happy with your eating habits.  oh yeah, and get him some books on eating meat. lol


  • TerrapinDragonfly
    Posts: 76Member
    @shooshka hehehe books on eating meat =)

    Sorry my posts are always so long but I really helps me put this crap out of my mind so I can do other things once I just stick it all here.

    Well I made myself overtly uneasy when he spoke about bringing me a key, so maybe he just wont do it =) We'll see. Fortunately I do have a million ways to check into this guy because of our huge overlap of community and friends. I don't think he is abusive because all of his X girlfriends want him back and the one that doesn't moved away for her career and never looked back. I understand that he is passionate about health and that is why he wants me to quit smoking and try eating his way- he seems willing to accept me either way. I have been on my own quest to learn how to eat better and my diet habits are actually very close to his and I am constantly trying to quit smoking- I just don't want him to think I did these things because he asked me to I want him to know I did them on my own for ME! I realize he is an awesome man I just am very wary about a relationship right now because of all the different factors at play. Don't want to hurt anyone else, be hurt, etc.

    I did mention a little bit about it to my roommate/boss so there is some info out there now and I mentioned it to my other roommate who is my sounding board besides scarrymommy and I thought she was going to smack me but she hugged me and said, "I'm glad you're going for something that is making you happy"

    I can tell he has definitely been infatuated with me for a long time because he is having a very hard time holding back much of anything. He knows he can't take me on vacation with him out of country in a few weeks (he is going anyway) but he keeps mentioning that he wishes he could and bringing up ideas for future vacations... He brings up how nervous I make him, etc. It's like we have several different levels of communication going on all at once. One of them, which we are focused on is, "Lets avoid anything serious and just be lighthearted and hang out" Another is, "This situation is so pent up and intense it's out of control" and so many other levels it's hard to pin them all down into words.

    I have a SPITFIRE girl friend who is coming down to visit me and go hiking this weekend, she is also his age. I think I might invite him along and let her intuition penetrate the situation and listen to her feedback. She'll be nice I'm sure but not much gets past her, so this might help me put stuff in perspective.


    Also, I don't think I mentioned- the other night when we hung out and he brought me books, I had my own book I needed to finish and after hiking, cleaning his spring house kitchen together, putting up hammocks, and other things in the yard, etc.. we ended up spending the evening reading our own books before falling asleep early. LOL! What does THAT scenario sound like to you? Ringing any bells?

    Last odd tid bit about him at the moment is we discussed the form of birth control I was on and I didn't want to get into details since I didn't want to freak him out so I said it's a non-hormonal insert that can last up to 10 years. He replied, "Oh yes the copper IUD, the plastic T wrapped in copper.. I think that is the best form for women because it doesn't have hormones and seems fairly reliable! I'm glad you have that, it seems like the smartest option... I think most women just don't realize that option exists."

    ....whaaaaaaatttt??? all I could think is, did he really just say that?
  • AnonUser30
    Posts: 1,916Guest
    I would've told him none, to ensure that condoms were used. No joke.
  • BeerWenchBeerWench
    Posts: 2,820Member

    HAve both of you get tested for STD's together -- that'll tell you if he's serious. 

    :¦:-•:*'""*:•.-:¦:-•** She who leaves a trail of glitter is never forgotten**•-:¦:-•:*'""*:• -:¦:-
  • BlessieBlessie
    Posts: 1,496Member
    You shouldn't have to lie about birth control to ensure condoms are used. If it isn't wrapped, it's not touching you. Period. Any guy who doesn't get that, is an asshole, or a moron. Or both.
  • LifeofchaosLifeofchaos
    Posts: 984Member
    I have nothing to offer other than to say I love this thread..... :-)
  • dietcokehead
    Posts: 9Member
    I know I'm coming to the party late, but I seriously thought I was reading a romance novel....
  • TerrapinDragonfly
    Posts: 76Member
    @dietcokehead lol I am with you it's pretty bad.

    Yeah no glove no love for me because I cannot get an std with my iud it could cause all sorts of problems.


    hmm yeah he made it until 2:30pm today before he texted me a smiley face.. then said cant wait to see you. I feel like an IDIOT because I texted him back my availability. I need to be locked away for a while I haven't even cleaned out the rest of my stuff from over at my X's!!!!!!! What is wrong with me? I was thinking about how mine and my X's song this morning is, "The Rain Song" by led zeppelin (dark but he was married 20 yrs prior to me and she died tragically) and torn apart and in the next breath I am thinking about how sweet and kind this other guy is... thank god for this thread cuz I can type it all here and then go back to working on school, thinking about my banjo lessons I just signed up for, etc.
  • skooshkaskooshka
    Posts: 179Member
    it just sounds like you guys have such a great strong connection that it is just harder to take something like that slow!  I am happy for you.  He sounds great and i think you should enjoy the ride.

  • Tattooed_SMTattooed_SM
    Posts: 131Member
    OMG, I think I just fell in love with him too after reading all that!! You go girl!  :x
  • TerrapinDragonfly
    Posts: 76Member
    My friend just came in who I work with who has liked this man for a long time and is obviously thinking about him. She called him today and I can tell that was a big deal for her. It killed me to hear her talk about it. It always has because I have always known that she is not really some one he would be interested in (for many obvious reasons I won't get into) but now it is worse because of the me and him thing. She saw him first but that's hardly fair when she doesn't have a chance anyway. It's too soon to say anything but it was tough to hear her have hope like that, I hope this gets sorted out easily. The other thing that I think was interesting is the last we spoke I asked her to give him my number, we haven't spoken for me to tell her that he now already has my number, and she definitely did not give him my number which shows me her goal is to try and be the go between and preferably butt me out of it entirely. I expected her to be like that anyway, so no surprises there.

    I actually should add something I wasn't going to include but because some of you are entertained by this all I should put this in here. When my friend came in there was a person in the place I work who I have been talking to and forming a friendship with, and she considers herself to be a shaman, psychic, etc. She is a very, very interesting and artistic woman. She told me to come over to her house after work for a reading so I am going to do it =P It seems like an odd bit of extra information but it just paints the whole day with some extra color. Wonder what SHE will have to say, haha

    I need a time machine so I can just fast forward through all this BS. At the same time I don't want a time machine because the suspense of it all combined with how romantic he is makes for quite an experience, to say the least.

    eerie coincidence today also...

    My best friend that I grew up with died a few years ago and I still am very close with his mom, his mom called me to see how I was doing with the breakup and said that she thinks it is a good thing and said she thinks that I am about to meet my soulmate and wanted to remind me that my babies are her grandbabies. My mom and her do not talk and my mom just also called me and said now that I'm all freed up she would appreciate me nailing down a good one because she is nearly 60 and would appreciate some grandkids.

    As if I need that kind of pressure added from my two mothers, they have NEVER said anything like this to me before I just don't even understand where they're coming from. Who thinks that way? "Hey, great now that ur single you should hurry up and make babies for me... that would be nice, thanks."

    I'm living in a bizarre sitcom.
  • TerrapinDragonfly
    Posts: 76Member
    I've never taken the whole shaman/psychic thing very seriously because I am a science/math major but...

    Oh WOW! That lady last night was eerily on point! I didn't really tell her anything and not only did she get the last 3 out of the 4 letters of his last name right, she said, "a poem with..." and got several of the key words right, which I had written about him and then she said, "smitten." She also said that I needed to go to the chiropractor, detox from     caffeine (my blood is not blood it's comprised of coffee) and cigarettes, and that I should look into Chinese medicine. I didn't tell her this but the next thing this guy wants to get certified in is Chinese Medicine. Also, when she told me about the chiropractor I thought it was strange until this morning when I was showering and touched my right butt cheek and remembered that it has been numb for about a week. I've never had anything like this before, but just my right butt cheek has been totally numb for about a week and I have no idea why. Very odd.

    The last strange things that she did was to hand me a book which is the exact subject matter that this guy was talking about wanting to learn and then told me there will be a huge romantic development in my life on the 24th of this month and that I should ask him if he knows how to identify bird calls. LOL!

    Anyhow her house, by the way, is a complete whimsical work of art. It's a beautiful old, huge brick house and her decor inside is incredibly tasteful and beautiful but you feel like you have stepped into a fairy tale. Her life is so crazy and interesting I wouldn't even know where to begin typing it on here.

    More bizarre to come I'm sure.



    This morning one of the guy's neighbors by the spring house came in too. He's a really nice old man who does beautiful art that I know from around town just a little. He saw me out with this guy and so just came in today to where I work (it's normal for ppl to stop into my work to see me no matter how well I know them or not) and he grabbed my hand and kissed the back of his hand (rather than kissing my hand I guess) and just said hello and told me to stop by and see him and check out his art now that I know where he lives (he said hello to us while we were walking down the road just passed his house). He was TOTALLY CHEESING. I was blushing so bad because I could tell this man is some kind of father figure to the man I have been not-dating-dating.

    SMALL TOWN!! ARGGG!!!
  • TerrapinDragonfly
    Posts: 76Member
    Ok, So tonight I am going to tell my friend this, " Friend, I want you to know ****** stopped in to see me and said that he had a crush on me. He said that doesn't change the fact he wants us to work for him, and I told him I absolutely am not interesting in dating right now. He said he'd like to just be friends and he understands, and so I just wanted you to know that because I know you have liked him a long time and we are going to be working with him"


    And then wait for her reaction... whatever it is....

    Sound ok?
  • BlessieBlessie
    Posts: 1,496Member
    Be honest that you are starting to feel, even though you originally turned him down.
    ^^^ that sounds like you turned him down cold and meant it, and if this goes where it looks like it's going, it will make you out as a liar. Other than that, I think that covers it. Just add at the end that even thoguh you meant that when you told it to him, you think you might be falling anyway. She doesn't need more info. Expect an explosion, but don't get sucked in. Be stoic. Just tell her it's private if she demands details, she could likely tuen extra info around on you later should she decide to be vindictive. Good luck, hope she takes it well! >:D<
  • TerrapinDragonfly
    Posts: 76Member
    Thanks, I will explain I am interested in remaining friends even if it has this kind of atmosphere to it and I think she will get that. I don't want to kiss and tell until I know for sure this is something more than a small fling, so I think if she presses and asks me well how do you feel about him right now, I will say that I feel he could be a good friend and I just am having a hard time processing anything beyond that and I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings so I am going to be careful. I will say he is a really good guy and so I can't rule him out completely I am just not ready for a relationship right now.

    that is the God's honest truth!! Anything more than that and I would have to explain how much of a gentleman he had to be in order to break my defenses down and how compatible we are, how passionate he is, etc which would just CRUSH her and be CRUEL. so I am going to keep this short, simple, and brace for impact and then LATER down the line IF something comes of this... it will be more natural.

    This isnt crazy right?

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