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6 weeks 3 days, no heartbeat
  • AreYouKiddingMe
    Posts: 49Member

    Sort of a newbie here and this is my first "New Discussion" post.  I am a 43 yr old Mother of 5 and grandmother of 1.  I found out about 2 weeks ago I am pregnant. After the initial shock,  I went for an ultrasound and bloodwork last week and although my HGC levels were good and the baby was measuring on schedule, the US tech could not find a heartbeat.  My OB/GYN suggested I schedule a D&C because he thinks the pregnancy is not viable. (Apparently I am old) I was shocked!  I came home and looked up everything I could find about the situation and just got angrier and more confused.  I kept reading over and over about how a lot (over 50%) of the time the heartbeat can not be seen or heard till around 7 weeks.  I have another US and blood draw scheduled for Friday but in the mean time I am driving myself nuts. 

    Needless to say, I am going to a different Dr Friday.  Just looking for anyone who might have had a similar experience.

     

  • CanadianMamaCanadianMama
    Posts: 9,617Administrator, Moderator
    I haven't experienced this myself, but first I wanted to give you hugs >:D<
    Second, I'm glad you are seeing another doctor. I am sending you light and love!! Please keep us updated!!

    community-manager


  • Katescrazymom
    Posts: 1,846Member
    No similar experience, but unless you start getting signs of infection, I wouldn't rush into a d&c. It is really early to find a heartbeat. I have two sils who've had multiple losses and early ultra sounds. I know one of them didn't get a heartbeat early in one of their full term pregnancies. She spent two weeks cursing early ultrasounds.
  • MamaAce
    Posts: 404Member
    Been there done that. Doctor couldn't even see my daughter on the u/s between 5 and 7 weeks. All he could see was the sac and kept telling me that it was a blighted ovum, and I was going to miscarry. He said I should just have a D&C. I was pissed and refused. I demanded a 2nd opinion. When I went for my 2nd opinion the u/s tech found my baby girl, 8 weeks 1 day with a heartbeat. She'll be 9 tomorrow!

    I am sorry you're going through this. All I know is if I was a first time mom or didn't know any better, I would have inadvertently aborted my daughter (she is my 3rd child, 4th pregnancy.) I too switched doctors after dealing with that moron. 

    It could be you're not as far along as you think you are (that is also what happened with my daughter. According to my LMP, I should have been a certain gestation, however, I do not ovulate on or around day 14..I ovulated on or around day 22.) Good luck and I hope you get good news!
  • Mommyliciousx4Mommyliciousx4
    Posts: 1,769Member
    Follow your gut!
    I wouldn't rush into a D&C because if it is a miscarriage it could take care of itself.
    Like you said and @MamaAce its still early and that Dr could just be stupid.
    Good luck! Ill say a prayer for you.
  • Mommyto3
    Posts: 118Member
    I have never been in your situation but I did want to applaud you for not listening to the doctor and getting a second opinion. 6 weeks is really early in pregnancy and the dr sounds like an ass, jmo, yes 43 may not be the easiest age to be pregnant but you having 5 children shows that your body is perfectly capable of carrying a child. And just because your age doesn't mean you should do a d&c so soon. Good luck on Friday I am also hoping for good news!! Keep us updated, I will be checking on you now! >:D<
  • AreYouKiddingMe
    Posts: 49Member

    Thanks you guys!  This was not a planned pregnancy like my 5 others but I was still excited when I found out.  My husband and children are being so very supportive and understanding this week and I am thankful for that, but it helps to hear other peoples thoughts.  There is NO WAY I was going to schedule a D&C just because I am of "advanced maternal age"  to me that just sounds like "experienced". 

    I am still having all the normal for me pregnancy symptoms and no cramping or anything out of the ordinary. I am very healthy and only about 10 lbs over my optimum weight.  I have carried 5 healthy babies with no problems. 

    I will for sure keep you guys posted as you have really lifted my spirits this afternoon.

    THANKS AND HUGS TO YOU ALL

  • maddmama
    Posts: 14Member
    I also am pregnant and I was was 8wks along before we actually heard the heart beat. so just wait a few more weeks. Congrats and lots of hugs.

  • serenitynowserenitynow
    Posts: 2,175Member
    ask for a transvaginal us, it can find the heartbeat earlier than a regular us.
  • chaosmomchaosmom
    Posts: 3,846Member
    My drs never even tried to hear the heartbeat until 8-10 weeks because it can be soooo difficult to find it before that. And like @serenitynow said, get a transvaginal u/s if there is still a question, just to be sure. Wishing you a healthy pregnancy :)
  • AreYouKiddingMe
    Posts: 49Member

    @serenitynow, I did have a TVUS.  I actually saw the sac, fetal pole, and the baby (I know that it is technically not a baby yet but it is to me).  It measured exactly what I think it should according to my calculations. 

    I guess I will see what the HGC count  is on Friday.  I just hate the waiting.

  • ZidashaZidasha
    Posts: 830Member
    It took 3 wks before Ds showed up and he'll be 3 this summer.

    I have a friend who just went through that.  She's considered advance maternal age too I think (35 or just over)  She just saw her baby's heartbeat today after 3 wks of waiting!!  She is measuring at 7wks 1 day.  

    Some babies are just more stubborn than others.  Good luck and my thoughts are with you.
    "I have a theory that placenta is brain matter I push out, so with each child I get dumber and dumber." ~ Unknown

  • meandmy243meandmy243
    Posts: 6,306Member
    My babys were 9- 10 weeks before the hearts were seen on transvaginal ultrasound..
    mom of wild children
    going to the chapel 7/5/2014
  • MissANicole
    Posts: 172Member
    I heard my two boys at 7 weeks. My daughter i was 13 weeks before they picked it up on the machine! I had to in for an ultrasound because even the Dr was getting nervous. They found her that way. Its was stressful but she was doing well. Hope your doing ok and keep us posted. Some babies lk to keep us on our toes i suppose. Good luck!
  • irishlassirishlass
    Posts: 6,727Member
    My friend had this experience, twice. The first time They didnt do a D&C, just gave her some pill? And it was devastating. The second time she just didnt believe it. She shouted and screamed and got all emotional in the hospital. They gave her the pill, told her to take it at home within 24hours when she was ready. She insisted they take more bloodwork and said she would go the next day for another ultrasound. Doc rang her first thing in the morning saying 'DONT TAKE THE PILL' whatever levels had gone back to normal, and she went in and they found a good healthy heartbeat. Her son will be 3 in a month. 

    I dont want to fill your head full of false hope of any kind, I just wanted to share my story, and let you know that I am thinking about you and try not to get to emotional either way about this pregnancy until you find out for real on Friday! I cant imagine how hard that is for you! 
    "Be who you are and say what you feel. Because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter." - Dr. Seuss
  • MegsueMegsue
    Posts: 1,848Member
    Everyone on here is absolutely right. It's way too early for any kind of decision. I wouldn't even be concerned about not finding a heartbeat for a few more weeks. I'm glad you stood up for yourself! Way to go momma!! I seriously wonder how some of these docs even made it through med school. I'm a nurse, so I'm a little prejudiced on doctors...sounds more like this guy (or gal) is judging YOU based on your age, not your pregnancy. The over-35 crowd regularly gives birth to healthy babies, I just don't get the attitude some doctors have with "older" moms.

    I wish you all the best.
  • Lakegirl34
    Posts: 1,748Member
    Just want to say I can relate to the not knowing part, and am sending supportive thoughts your way. >:D<
  • BabymineBabymine
    Posts: 33Member
    That doctor should have his license taken away. There job is to try everything before suggesting a D&C! I am kind of surprised they didn't recommend a trans vaginal off the bat. Sounds like a bit of agism. I had a to have a trans vaginal ultrasound, and they found the heartbeat at 4 weeks. It's a little more invasive, but well worth it. Good luck, I hope everything works out.
  • crazymama2twocrazymama2two
    Posts: 843Member
    I stated reading this so sad then I for mad... Wtf asshat dr and now I'm excited and smiling !!! Can't wait for your results fri! @areyoukiddingme
  • momofeveryonemomofeveryone
    Posts: 1,709Member

    hey! my son took FOREVER to see him in an U/S. the only reason i didnt D&C like they said was i couldnt get the time off work and figured if he was dead what was the point? i had already gotten everyone worked up, might as well give the little shit a fighting chance :). by the time i got to the Dr again they drew blood and U/S and i  was right on for 10 weeks. he was perfict and i must O later then i thought. the first visit i thought i was 7 weeks, i was only 4.

    with DD bc i knew this, it was ALOT calmer at my 8 week appt. no h/b seen but bc of my previous pregnancy i went back at 12 and there she was! the tech also said she would wager her paycheck it was a girl :) best appt ever lol

    we got the house!!!!! i have worked so hard for 5 years to get us in a spot to buy! isnt it cute?!?!?!?
  • MomToAnOnly
    Posts: 37Member
    At this early stage you need a transvaginal u/s.  A friend of mine and his wife were PG a few years ago and they tried to do that to her, advised D&C. In the stirrups, with pills in hand she asked for a another US, turns out original US tech had it wrong and they almost lost that baby because of it.
  • Emmie
    Posts: 277Member
    I have no experience with this, because my kids are a little older, so I think that they didn't do so many tests and ultrasounds.  With my oldest, I never even had an ultrasound at all, they only did them if there was a problem.

    Sometimes I think that would still be best.  I'm sorry that you are having to go through all of this uncertainty.  And I am so glad that you are changing doctors!

    Will be watching for updates and hoping for the best for you and your family!
  • MyInnerGoddessMyInnerGoddess
    Posts: 1,558Member
    Firstly, you are not old, women are having babies well into their 40s now and even the risk for some late age pregnancies are declining for women in their early 40s..  Secondly, you are absolutely correct to get a 2nd opinion.  I have actually seen an US tech that could not find a heartbeat at 14 weeks and once the doctor had the report, suggested a D&C.  I happened to be on call this particular occasion and met with the lady in the ER.  She had not previously been seen by an OB for this pregnancy but had used our practice for prenatal care previously. 
    I used a simple portable doppler and was able to find a heartbeat right away.  Seriously??  Although it is not so common, it can be difficult to find that heartbeat in a fetus less than 8 weeks. 
    Breathe and try to relax.  Anything can happen, but I would wait for the 2nd opinion before getting overwhelmed with all of the emotions that can come with a miscarriage.  I will say a prayer for you and hope everything is just fine :)  Huge >:D< mama!
    "People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can't find them, make them."
    ~ George Bernard Shaw~
  • olivias_mom
    Posts: 11Member
    I am very surprised that they would even suggest a D&C without waiting for additional blood tests to confirm. Shame on them!!! I am a very healthy 43 year old mother of a 14 month old glorious little angel. I strongly believe that I am a much better mother now than ever could have been at 25. But with 5 kids already and one grandchild you must have this child rearing thing down pat!!! Good for you for sticking to your guns. Btw, at 18 weeks I ruptured and was told to have a D&C. I asked if there was a heartbeat and when they told me yes I told them until it stops beating there wasn't a damn thing thing were going to do to me. I spent 5 long months in the antepartum unit in the hospital but it was well worth it. There have been many, many times that I look at my daughter and am so grateful that I stuck to my guns. Good luck to you and I hope that we will see good news on Friday. If that's not the case, we will be here for you as well. Take care....... :-*
  • Emmie
    Posts: 277Member
    Praying that all went well today at the doctor appointment.  Hugs to you, AreYouKiddingMe!
  • nonamemom
    Posts: 1Member
    Don't lose hope! I had an ultrasound when I was 6 weeks along, and the tech found no heartbeat.  I was panicked!  The doctor ordered another scan scheduled for 3 days later, and there it was, nice and strong!  My son is now 7 months old.  You are still very early, and every pregnancy is different, don't give up on your little one <3
  • AloneOverseasAloneOverseas
    Posts: 2,240Member
    When I read your initial post, @areyoukiddingme. That's exactly what I wanted to say, almost ... More like, are you fucking kidding me??! Lol

    In Feb my DD22 was 7 weeks along with her first and no heartbeat could be found. A week or two later they found one, but unfortunately she miscarried last month. The blood results are much more accurate, and as you said, you're feeling fine. Glad you are seeing a different doctor!
    I love purple; I love cats. Imagine if cats were purple ...
  • AreYouKiddingMe
    Posts: 49Member
    Thanks for all your well wishes. I go tomorrow for an ultrasound and blood draw. I will let you know.
  • [Deleted User]
    Posts: 7,022
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    well behaved women seldom make history
  • katz_meowkatz_meow
    Posts: 4,232Member
    Second opinions count, so glad to hear you decided to get one.  Best wishes for a happy healthy pregnancy and baby! HUGS!!
    Judgement comes in many forms but never scarce or shy
  • Mommyliciousx4Mommyliciousx4
    Posts: 1,769Member
    Hoping for the best!
  • AreYouKiddingMe
    Posts: 49Member

    I just got back from the Dr.  Things do not look good.  No growth and still no fetal heart activity.  Dr wanted to do a blood draw to check HGC levels and I will get that back on Monday. 

    I am sad but I think I have been preparing for this for a week. 

    Life is precious, hug your kids and tell them you are glad they "made it here". 

  • MyInnerGoddessMyInnerGoddess
    Posts: 1,558Member
    I am so sorry @areyoukidding me.  Still praying that it is just early.  >:D<  [-O<
    "People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can't find them, make them."
    ~ George Bernard Shaw~
  • Katescrazymom
    Posts: 1,846Member
    I'm sorry. I'm glad you are getting all tests, even if the situation sucks.
  • chaosmomchaosmom
    Posts: 3,846Member
    Hugs
  • irishlassirishlass
    Posts: 6,727Member
    Huge hugs  >:D<
    "Be who you are and say what you feel. Because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter." - Dr. Seuss
  • momofeveryonemomofeveryone
    Posts: 1,709Member
    hugs!!!!!
    we got the house!!!!! i have worked so hard for 5 years to get us in a spot to buy! isnt it cute?!?!?!?
  • Lakegirl34
    Posts: 1,748Member
    So sorry for your loss
  • crazymama2twocrazymama2two
    Posts: 843Member
    I'm sorry sweetie
  • Emmie
    Posts: 277Member
    Many hugs coming your way!  And I am taking your advice, and hugging my kids that "made it here" (one early miscarriage).  So glad that you are going through all the testing with a doc who is being more careful. 
  • MistressHeidiMistressHeidi
    Posts: 973Member
    So sorry to hear this news. Lots of hugs! I am still hoping and praying for you!
  • broken_dawnbroken_dawn
    Posts: 134Member
    Sending hugs and prayers your way @};-
  • AreYouKiddingMe
    Posts: 49Member

    Okay, I have an update....sort-of.  I got my HGC level results today.  As a brief recap: April 18th HGC levels 20,000.  April 20, Baby measures 6 wks 3 days no heartbeat detected Dr suggests D&C due to not viable pregnancy.  April 27th baby measures 6 wks 3 days still no heartbeat HGC levels drawn and results today are HGC was at 20,000 on 5/27.

    What the heck!  10 days and NO CHANGE.  I am not sure what to do with this info.  I have pretty much come to terms with this all in my heart but even the Dr is confused as to why the levels are not changing.

    Oh well, I guess now I WAIT. 

  • MyInnerGoddessMyInnerGoddess
    Posts: 1,558Member
    I am so sorry you are going through this.  I am not sure what to say.  I have not seen this kind of result before.  I guess I am still hoping that maybe there is a miracle waiting to happen here.  Hugs and prayers for you mama.  I know you are struggling. 
    >:D< [-O<
    "People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don't believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can't find them, make them."
    ~ George Bernard Shaw~
  • AloneOverseasAloneOverseas
    Posts: 2,240Member
    Sorry. Same happened to my daughter, little to no changes, no growth, no heartbeat. Then about two weeks later a faint heartbeat, then gone again. Took a few weeks but eventually she miscarried and then levels dropped ... sometimes it just takes a while. Very, very sorry. >:D<
    I love purple; I love cats. Imagine if cats were purple ...
  • olivias_mom
    Posts: 11Member
    Just wanted to see how you are doing. I know that you have been having a horrible time. Just know that there are many people out there thinking and praying for you.
  • PurpleFlowersPurpleFlowers
    Posts: 5,621Member
    So sorry for you. I had 2 miscarriages and wouldnt wish that for anyone to have to go thru. Hugs!!!
    Stay away from my chocolate and nobody gets hurt!

    I think I like who I am becoming...
  • BellaBefanaBellaBefana
    Posts: 8,139Member

    O.K., first off 43 is NOT old to have babies.  I was 46 when I had mine, 46 1/2, a close friend of mine is a year or so younger has one about a year older and one about a year younger than mine...all normal and healthy.  She's trying for a 6th, and if I can find the money, I want another...I'll be 50 this month.

    Mine is high tech, so I had u/s's much earlier than most do, usually 4-5 weeks post embryo transfer.  The first they saw an egg sack, no h/b and I miscarried.  I was much earlier than you are:  my hCG was around 10-15K as I recall, then the next was at 70.  doc thought there'd been a lab error.  Ended up not a lab error.

    Next one, h/b at the first u/s around 4 weeks post tx.  I didn't realize how nervous I was at that one.  I guess, what I'm trying to say, is that NOT finding a h/b early on is not too unusual according to my fertility specialist.  Is there a perinatologist (high risk specialist) you can get to see you?  Don't know why hCG's aren't changing, and I don't want to upset you, but I would think that if the pregnancy is not viable they would start to drop.  Has your doc ordered serial hCGs?  When you do IVF, they do hCGs, estrodial, and progesterone every 2-3 days.

    PurpleFlowers is right, I wouldn't wish a miscarriage on anyone, it's a horrible thing no matter how far along you are.  Hugs & prayers.

    :x
    Bite me, cupcake!
  • AreYouKiddingMe
    Posts: 49Member

    Hey guys,,,,,just an update.  Nothing at all happening here.  I still have pregnancy symptoms but I have decided to give it some time.  No blood tests, no ultrasounds, no visits to Dr for right now.  I was simply stressing myself totally out.

    We are taking 4 of the kids to Disneyland this weekend (actually leaving in about an hour) so I plan to enjoy the vacation and deal with all this when we get home.  I am taking "supplies" in case something should happen while I am gone but since there is no cramping, spotting, headaches, or anything I am thinking all will be okay for a few days. This is with Dr's okay of course.

    Thank you all for your prayers and thoughts.  I love feeling like I am part of a group of such cool and diverse women.  WE ROCK!

     

  • chaosmomchaosmom
    Posts: 3,846Member
    I hope you all have a good time!!
  • Not_hisAnymoreNot_hisAnymore
    Posts: 285Member
    I've been lurking waiting to hear an update. Have fun at Disney and I'll keep my bits crossed for you.
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