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Am I the only lonely SAHM?
  • scholarmom4
    Posts: 548Member
    I am a stay at home mom and we have four children. Three of them (the girls) are in school all day but my ds3 is at home with me until September when he starts pre-K. All of my friends work during the day and I am so lonely sometimes! I have a really hard time getting a sitter to go and do anything, so I am pretty house bound during the day. Does anyone else deal with this issue and what helps for you? I love this site! It makes me feel a little more connected!
  • MistressHeidiMistressHeidi
    Posts: 973Member
    I am no longer a SAHM. When my XH was in the Army we lived in Panama and I was a SAHM and I felt so alone. My days were nothing but diapers and bottles and sesame street. I would have given any thing to have a friend. A site like this back then would have been heaven to me.

    When the weather is nice, go to the park if you have one nearby. I met a few women in Panama that way, it didn't turn into great friendships but it was nice to have someone to talk to besides my kids for a hour or so. Or just go for a walk around the block. Sometimes just getting out of the house, even pushing a stroller by myself was enough to make me feel better.
  • scholarmom4
    Posts: 548Member
    Thanks!! I know I am not alone with feeling like this, but sometimes it is really hard! I am really looking forward to going back to work! I am less stressed when I do work! I actually get time to talk to adults! lol :)
  • sahmetc
    Posts: 3Member
    I totally understand. It can suck sometimes. I'm so happy I live close to family again and can at least spend time with my mom sometimes and gram. I do work now at night and it's nice but I'm so exhausted cause I have my nephew during the now along with my 1 yr old dd and he's 1. Can't do too much with them. It's like twins and so I'm trapped in the house for the most part. 

    I wish I had actual friends that had the same aged kids as me but with everyone's crazy schedules it's hard to sync up. 
  • luckymama
    Posts: 94Member
    You are not alone. That's the hardest part of being a SAHM for me. The good part - my 3 year old is a surprisingly good conversationalist now. We get outside as much as we possibly can. We live out of town, so its not so easy to get to all the activities geared for little kids. I am also looking forward to working again someday, but trying to treasure these little kid moments while I can.
  • GlitterQueen GlitterQueen
    Posts: 2,492Member
    I have the same problem, but I don't really have in IRL friends. Everyone works, I get bored, stir crazy. Its almost impossible to keep the house clean, the kids are always climbing on me or screaming or destroying things.
  • many_moons_ago
    Posts: 338Member

    I've been a SAHM for just over 7 years now. The first few years were lonely but then I discovered Playcentre, not sure if you have a similar thing. It's a play you can take pre-school kids/babies and they have everything from paints, dress-ups, sand and swings for kids. It's not daycare it's run by the parents so everyone helps out of sessions. You can have adult conversation, support when needed or just play with the kids.

    I take mine with me. I go to the library, park, shops or just walk. My 'me time' is when DH can have them for the day.

    I also had to go out and find some friends because I was a young mum and all my firends were still studying or working.

  • etherieletheriel
    Posts: 715Member
    I have been a SAHM for a few years now with no outside/babysitting help. I have gotten my adult interaction through volunteering with Girl Scouts and my kids' PTO/PTA. I have never had a problem with bringing a youger child to a PTA/PTO meeting and the schools have welcomed my younger children when I have volunteered (for most events, but not all). Also, the public library is awesome. They have toddler activities about once a week.
    If I'm not supposed to do it, how come I can?
  • ProudPalsyMamma
    Posts: 1,260Member
    I'm a SAHM and extremely lonely too! So I definitely understand also if you wanna talk pm I love making new mommy friends on here!
    BTW things that help for me are 1) when the weekend starts my mommy time stops
    2) when I feel overwhelmed and my son goes down for a nap I do to no matter what chores need done 3) I blast music throughout the house to boost my mood and dance silly to make my son laugh
  • OnmylastnerveOnmylastnerve
    Posts: 1,648Member
    I have a one year old and we try to go outside everyday. Otherwise I think we both feel trapped. We've tried a play park at the library but the day we went no one wAs there so it wasnt what I was looking for.
    not my chair, not my problem
  • primalmommaprimalmomma
    Posts: 1,136Member
    My son is 2.5 and I've been a SAHM for a while.  SO lonely.  Heck, even when I was working I was lonely..probably because the place I worked at only had spanish-speaking customers, which I don't speak.

    I live over an hr from my mom and friends.  You'd think that would be close enough to not be alone.  Nope.  I'm lucky to see my mom once a month and my friends have fallen away.  Haven't seen them in years.  We are so tight financially, it's essentials only.  Thank GOD internet is essential for us.  We can't even afford gas to go visit sometimes.  DH uses all the gas $$ for school/work.

    I get jealous of people who can go out.  I refuse to go into debt on the credit card for a movie.  We are a cash only family now.  We've killed my debt because of it.  As a result of being so responsible, we don't go out.  EVER. 

    Lonely.  Sad.  Bored.  All of the above.  I have no regrets.  I'm only sad when I think about it.  I have a lot in life to be grateful for! 

    @onmylastnerve, we can't even go outside for a walk.  We live in a VERY dangerous neighborhood/town.  I envy that.  My son doesn't get to play outside.  Only when we visit my mom. sucks hairy balls!
    “I did then what I knew to do. Now that I know better, I do better.” (Maya Angelou)
    http://www.primalmomma.com
  • OnmylastnerveOnmylastnerve
    Posts: 1,648Member
    @primalmomma we get 9 months of winter and below freezing tempatures so outside is basically a summer time thing here. But "g" shopping (gee I wish I had some money) was helpful to me, but it only works if you have a store that's close by. My mom used to live an hour from me and I would work for her for gas money to her house (cleaning, paperwork, organizing) otherwise I was stuck at home all by myself :(
    not my chair, not my problem
  • primalmommaprimalmomma
    Posts: 1,136Member
    @onmylastnerve yeah, we live near chicago. ... cold more than 1/2 the yr, too...lol... ain't it grand?  We're thinking of moving to TX or New Mexico...get outta dodge. and hugs to you..no fun being alone.
    “I did then what I knew to do. Now that I know better, I do better.” (Maya Angelou)
    http://www.primalmomma.com
  • MamaAce
    Posts: 404Member
    Nope, you're not alone. All 3 of my kids are in school all day. I have tried to find a part time job, but I can only work 9-2 and weekends and apparently that's a big problem with everyone around here.

    I have such a pathetic life, that I drop the kids off at school, go home and go back to sleep for 2-3 hours. Get up, shower, eat lunch, putz around online for a bit and then go pick the kids up. It's seriously pathetic and crappy. 

    Some days, I don't mind being alone and having the quiet house to myself and then some days I'm really bored and lonely. In any case, I know how you feel.....
  • MamaAce
    Posts: 404Member
    Oh and have you tried meetup.com? It's a place to find playgroups and mom groups in your area. I used to use it, but it's geared mostly towards moms with littles at home so I don't use it anymore. It might work for you though.
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