Moved this from general chat, sorry.

Met the man of my dreams.. BUT. I was scared; I said I just wanted to be friends. We have known there was something special between us since we met years ago but never acted on it til now. We have both admitted it feels like an element of fate although neither of us would normally admit that! Friends thing did NOT work but he compromised and has been calling us, "Lovers". So now I don't know if that's what he WANTS or not/what I want. 

He says things like, "You feel so good" and "I am so crazy about you" A LOT.

He breaches the topic of monogamous relationships and marriage, NOT ME, and he says things like, "I prefer monogamous relationships but you never know who you might meet in the future that could just blow your lover out of the water.. that is why I think marriage is unrealistic. And besides, it’s outdated. Women don’t need men anymore and it is no longer the status thing it once was." (This I don't agree with- I am not that worried about getting married, I could do without… but as far as telling someone you are going the distance with them… I am a committed person and I do not believe you can know that the grass is greener on the other side!! It is much more rewarding, in my opinion, to be that devoted person and stay through the work and tough parts of a relationship.)

On the flip side, He has mentioned almost marrying another woman from the past and has sounded like he wanted to get married. He does seem like the type that LIKES to commit to another but he stresses that he doesn’t want to MAKE someone stay committed to him. 

He also says he does want kids some times, and other times he does not. He has said flat out no I don’t want them, then he backtracked and said well maybe… then he said well, some day. I once said I may not have the time to have kids, and he said that is ok.. and I said well no it isn’t, I want them- and he said well I want them too but I understand what you mean. He seems to want to travel and do other things and mentions you can’t do both, but when I agreed and that I’d rather travel, etc first and THEN have kids he just nodded and pretty much agreed but didn’t give me much of a response. I also made a joke right after I said that to break up the convo, however, because at the time (and still) I felt very strange talking about such things with a, “lover”. The topic of kids isn’t something I directly brought up, but any time it has been in context and I have made it clear that I want them it doesn’t scare him off or make him shy from the topic. This could be, however, because he doesn’t see me as long term material.

He DID say that he hasn’t had a girlfriend since 2007, just, “lovers” because he has not met one that has real long term potential UNTIL NOW. He definitely said that as if NOW things were different than they have been since 2007. I should have looked into his eyes when he said that and read them for what they really meant but I was a chicken shit and probably was looking at the floor or something.

Mr. Wishy Washy!

I don't want to ask my, "lover" about his plans for kids too soon but I don't want to end up dating long term a man who isn't going to actually get serious. This is a risk because my heart is being stolen and he is sweeping me off my feet.

He is looking for a serious relationship with A WOMAN, I just don't know if he means me.

He is buying a king size bed b/c he says I am a bed hog and he already made me copies of his keys and insisted I keep them for, “convenience”.

For me, in my mind, lovers might not be together in a few months. Lovers don’t buy bigger beds because of their lover, lovers don’t make vacation plans nearly a year away from now, lovers don’t freak out when the other lover is hesitant to make plans past a few weeks!

He is stealing my heart and wonderful, but there's all these damn gray areas and we got into this whole mess backasswards.

I only have so much time, I believe, before I succumb to his amazing romantic ways and our keen compatibility… then what do I do?

I’ve been stuck in the damn eyeball with cupids arrow.

I would naturally like to just be cool and take things slow and not worry but this man is seriously getting into my heart in a way I have never felt before and I think I may be doing the same thing to him.