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Friends?? What friends?
  • mami_of_3mami_of_3
    Posts: 163Member
    Is it just me or is it next to impossible to make friends anymore? I'm 25 and my friends are usually older or around the same age. They all complain of being bored, stuck at home, want to go out, etc. but then never invite anyone over, when I invite them anywhere they never want to go, all excuses so they can stay home and do nothing. The same thing they are complaining about! And almost everyone I meet is so false! All that comes out their mouths are lies, they say what they think I want to hear. I am very understanding and I don't like to judge, but I do hate being lied to. Besides, how can we call each other friends if I don't really know you because you never tell me the truth afraid I will judge you? I don't get it. Anyone else going through this? Or know why? Or is it just the area I'm in or maybe something in the water here? lol
    If you change their diaper, they will immediately poop in the new one.
    If you mop the floor, they will spill something.
    If you put on fresh socks, you will immediately step on whatever was spilled.
    If you're tired, they will not be.
    If you love them, you will see the beauty in it all.
  • AreYouKiddingMe
    Posts: 49Member

    Nope, not just you. 

  • BellaBefanaBellaBefana
    Posts: 8,714Member

    yep, nope not just you.  I can count my friends on one hand, and it wouldn't take the whole thing.

    Bite me, cupcake!
  • vintkey78vintkey78
    Posts: 324Member
    Not just you. I have 2 real life friends. One is someone I have been friends with since high school. We live like a 1000 miles apart. The other is my mom. I talk to her every day and see her at least once a week. I wish I had real life friends my age, but it's so damn hard to find.
  • BakingmommyBakingmommy
    Posts: 401Member
    Nope, I have two, well one and a half.  My mother, and sometimes my nephew in laws wifey. I don't get along with the other moms at my kids school because this is like there upteenth kid through the school so they all know each other, plus I tend to be one of the youngest, and it's all clicky just like high school. And most people my age piss me the hell off, they either want to go out and party every weekend and leave their kids behind, or have no kids and want nothing to do with me.  
    Shameless Plugging:
    http://www.facebook.com/pages/Shanks-Yanks/117723581657394
  • Katescrazymom
    Posts: 1,899Member
    Me too. Everyone seems to busy to make new friends.
  • mami_of_3mami_of_3
    Posts: 163Member
    My 2 best friends are: one we have been friends for about 11 years and my grandmother, (we speak every single day but sadly haven't seen her in 7.5yrs). Everyone else is just "people I know" It is just soooo hard. And when I meet someone they always are like that. So frustrating... Thanks for showing me I'm not the only one
    If you change their diaper, they will immediately poop in the new one.
    If you mop the floor, they will spill something.
    If you put on fresh socks, you will immediately step on whatever was spilled.
    If you're tired, they will not be.
    If you love them, you will see the beauty in it all.
  • mami_of_3mami_of_3
    Posts: 163Member
    @bakingmommy they are like that here too, clicky and also they like talking about people behind their backs, I don't like that so I stay away from those.
    I just don't get it. Everyone I speak to basically says the same things: they are bored, no friends or not enough, nothing to do, tired of being home, etc yet that's all they want to do lol makes no sense to me
    If you change their diaper, they will immediately poop in the new one.
    If you mop the floor, they will spill something.
    If you put on fresh socks, you will immediately step on whatever was spilled.
    If you're tired, they will not be.
    If you love them, you will see the beauty in it all.
  • BakingmommyBakingmommy
    Posts: 401Member
    @mami_of_3, it pisses me the hell off, it's high school all over again, I wasn't in those clicks then, and I sure as hell aint now.  

    See I'm content to sit at home, rent a movie, and maybe have a beer or two AT HOME, not going to the bar, not going club hopping. Take me to the book store or the coffee shop, I'm a pretty easy date damnit.
    Shameless Plugging:
    http://www.facebook.com/pages/Shanks-Yanks/117723581657394
  • WickedDunkieJunkieWickedDunkieJunkie
    Posts: 6,174Member
    What are friends?
    WDJ_Avatar_zps4536679b
    We Are The Music Makers... And We Are The Dreamers Of Dreams...

  • mami_of_3mami_of_3
    Posts: 163Member
    @Bakingmommy, exactly. I am the same way, I am content just having coffee, taking the kids to a park and letting them have fun while having a nice talk, just hanging out at the house, I mean anything that changes up the daily routine. But apparently even that is asking too much? ugh... :(
    @KDT7688, yeah sometimes I wonder that too, then remind myself At least I have a couple.. It gets lonely
    If you change their diaper, they will immediately poop in the new one.
    If you mop the floor, they will spill something.
    If you put on fresh socks, you will immediately step on whatever was spilled.
    If you're tired, they will not be.
    If you love them, you will see the beauty in it all.
  • Luvlyssa
    Posts: 3,338Member
    :( I've been struggling with this the past few days.
    My bff (her name is Nikki) is awesome. I met her when she head hunted me for a job. I've seen her *once*. Yes kids. My bff i've seen once. She lives in NYC, with her wife and I live in Utah alone. I've become "friends" with all her NYC friends. She has a HUGE circle of friends. But I wouldn't call them my real friends.

    I get so... sad. I used to be social and popular. Now ... I sit at home every night in my room. and I'm *so* lonely.

    I have severe social anxiety... I asked a SM to do something... and I'm scared. Scared she'll hate me. Scared she'll think I smell. Scared she won't.show.up.

    I'm just so... wimpy!
    Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming. What do we do? We swim, swim.
  • Koala82Koala82
    Posts: 392Member
    @Luvlyssa I hear ya I have super anxiety....I mean about everything. Social places I HAVE to take something to make myself relaxed or else I am super tense and likely to cry or run away. I have anxiety reading books, watching movies, writing anything on paper and the list goes on.

    I have been seeing a lot of confessions saying how a lot of us don't have friends. Well why not have us SM's as friends. Even if we don't live near we can always be there for each other right? When a problem comes up talk to us. Whether it be in a post or PM.

    >:D< to all of you!
  • BellaBefanaBellaBefana
    Posts: 8,714Member
    @luvlyssa:  contrary to popular opinion, I'm pretty introverted and a homebody.  I would so much rather be home with a good book than out in big crowds of people, so you're not alone, and not whimpy!
    Bite me, cupcake!
  • BellaBefanaBellaBefana
    Posts: 8,714Member

    BTW, I had a "friend" so completely fuck me over after offering to "help" me when dd was about 16 months.  i'm not going to get into it here, but suffice it to say, I hope I don't run into her in public, I can't be responsible.


    And since moving to AZ, I've made only one, yes I said one, friend.  I had one who already lived here, and this new one.  I've been here 9 years.

    Bite me, cupcake!
  • Koala82Koala82
    Posts: 392Member
    Oh believe me I've had friends screw me over. I had one drug me up so some friends of hers could take advantage of me when I was a pre-teen.
  • mami_of_3mami_of_3
    Posts: 163Member
    I'm just weird :/ I like to have somebody with me, but I am so shy, with people I don't know and in places I am not familiar with, and I am very insecure. If it was for me I wouldn't go anywhere alone. I like going out and hanging out, just not by myself. I also like being home. eh. We all feel insecure sometimes, you're not wimpy! you are reaching out and trying, you're brave =D>
    If you change their diaper, they will immediately poop in the new one.
    If you mop the floor, they will spill something.
    If you put on fresh socks, you will immediately step on whatever was spilled.
    If you're tired, they will not be.
    If you love them, you will see the beauty in it all.
  • mami_of_3mami_of_3
    Posts: 163Member
    Oh I've been screwed over by "friends" too. That's probably why now I observe people before I talk to them at all now. People think I'm a bitch when they 1st meet me but it's just me studying them.
    If you change their diaper, they will immediately poop in the new one.
    If you mop the floor, they will spill something.
    If you put on fresh socks, you will immediately step on whatever was spilled.
    If you're tired, they will not be.
    If you love them, you will see the beauty in it all.
  • Scary3andme
    Posts: 45Member
    Yup not just you, I have a bunch of what I like to call "fair weathered" friends. Meaning I'm their friend only when it's convienit for them. I hate having girl friends they are all so fake and talk so much shit I have yet to keep a friend since jr high that hasn't stabbed me in the back or just doesn't stay in my life for one reason or another. Im just not a good friend I guess, I'm okay with not having a lot of friends tho I'm too sensitive and get hurt easily. Realizing I'm better off alone.
  • Luvlyssa
    Posts: 3,338Member
    @koala82 *nods* I FINALLY got my anxiety meds today... I can not shop during the day unless I'm drugged. and I have to push the cart... I won't go down an aisle if there's more than one person in it... and I REFUSE to shop on fridays or saturdays (or days food stamps come out. the stores are insane then too for good reason)

    @hmr i'm a homebody too. I don't mind (I play WoW and read a TON.) but... there are days I want someone around. want someone to miss me and want me with them. ya know?

    -----
    I was thinking earlier that I feel like ... hm (this is not meant to be omg woe is me!) you guys here are awesome. so sweet. funny. dirty minded ;) but I'm afraid you all will judge me because I'm not married... I'm bisexual... and I have no kids. Yeah I may not GET the kid stuff like others do... but I can offer sympathy. I like kids... (omg I have issues!)

    Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming. What do we do? We swim, swim.
  • Koala82Koala82
    Posts: 392Member
    @Luvlyssa No worries! :) You are awesome too! Oh and DH and I play online games too! Right now we have lifetime accounts with Lotro and a subscription to Swtor.
    :D
  • Scary3andme
    Posts: 45Member
    No judgement from me, I'm not the judging type at all :)
  • BellaBefanaBellaBefana
    Posts: 8,714Member
    omg, i'm getting WAY too good @ computer games!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Bite me, cupcake!
  • mami_of_3mami_of_3
    Posts: 163Member
    @luvlyssa, I'm not one to judge hun.
    @scary3andme, that's exactly what happens with them, only friends when they need me or when they are lonely so not real friends. I rather be alone that in bad company ;)
    I play The Sims 3, The Sims Social(thru FB) and some cheap pc games I get at walmart. Anything to have some entertainment for a bit.
    If you change their diaper, they will immediately poop in the new one.
    If you mop the floor, they will spill something.
    If you put on fresh socks, you will immediately step on whatever was spilled.
    If you're tired, they will not be.
    If you love them, you will see the beauty in it all.
  • BellaBefanaBellaBefana
    Posts: 8,714Member
    anybody know of a good one where I can blow things up?  Like really big FU blow things up?  I can't go hit golf balls right now, so that would be a great substitute.  BejeweledBlitz just ain't cuttin' it!
    Bite me, cupcake!
  • littlebitz
    Posts: 123Member
    @HMR~I'm in AZ too! The only friends I have are work friends. I am quitting so now I won't have any. I broke up with my BFF 2 yrs ago and started talking to her recently. All she wants to talk about are her man troubles and how annoying her daughter is. I am in a good place with my DH and kids, so I feel....distant from her. She really hates being a mom our DD's are the same age and we never even take them to the park or just to hang out at home, she hates being with her daughter. We just don't have that much in common anymore
  • CoffeeQueenCoffeeQueen
    Posts: 227Member
    I thought I was the only one that struggled with making friends! @Bakingmommy, my DD's school is the SAME way.  I am not from here and most of them are, and their kids are all playmates since birth, it's very clicky. It does remind me of highschool all over again, except at least in highschool I had friends! I'm always the outsider now. I have a handful of real friends, but most of them are back home. Hugs to all of you mommies >:D<
  • mami_of_3mami_of_3
    Posts: 163Member
    I'm not from here either, and most of them are from similar countries so I guess they see me differently. And I'm a SAHM so not many options to make friends... Been here 2 yrs and haven't made a friend yet, only acquaintances.
    If you change their diaper, they will immediately poop in the new one.
    If you mop the floor, they will spill something.
    If you put on fresh socks, you will immediately step on whatever was spilled.
    If you're tired, they will not be.
    If you love them, you will see the beauty in it all.
  • Luvlyssa
    Posts: 3,338Member
    It's interesting how so many of us have that in common... yay for SM! :) (now which of you friends is going to keep this insomniac company tonight?!) ;)
    Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming. What do we do? We swim, swim.
  • BellaBefanaBellaBefana
    Posts: 8,714Member
    If I could figure out how to hang my lap top around my neck so I could clean, I would....
    Bite me, cupcake!
  • BellaBefanaBellaBefana
    Posts: 8,714Member
    where in AZ @littlebitz?
    Bite me, cupcake!
  • CoffeeQueenCoffeeQueen
    Posts: 227Member
    You could do what I do and take the laptop room to room @Hmr. hehe 
  • CoffeeQueenCoffeeQueen
    Posts: 227Member
    @mami_of_3 >:D<
  • Luvlyssa
    Posts: 3,338Member
    @coffeequeen were you watching me make dinner and clean the kitchen tonight?!?
    Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming. What do we do? We swim, swim.
  • BellaBefanaBellaBefana
    Posts: 8,714Member

    LOL @CoffeeQueen, I would, but I'd still have put it down.  Hmmmm, a hands free laptop harness, I wonder...

    Bite me, cupcake!
  • CoffeeQueenCoffeeQueen
    Posts: 227Member
    That could be a real money maker....you should get that idea patented @Hmr :-?
  • CoffeeQueenCoffeeQueen
    Posts: 227Member
    I'll keep you company tonight @Luvlyssa....I get insomnia on occasion, it's better than it used to be, but tonight I am baking banana bread....at midnight. LOL  It's a new recipe, I'm hoping it tastes as good as the last one I made. I lost that recipe :-((
  • mami_of_3mami_of_3
    Posts: 163Member
    @CoffeeQueen, omg banana bread! Where's my piece? ;) I have been thinking of making some, we all love it here. Never even heard of it back in P.R.(where I'm originally from) then someone at DH job made some and he brought me a piece and fell in love, we both did lol Soooo I have made the instant one but I want to make fresh. Let me know how it turned out ;)
    @Hmr, I just use my cellphone and take it with me all over, it's like attached to me :-$
    If you change their diaper, they will immediately poop in the new one.
    If you mop the floor, they will spill something.
    If you put on fresh socks, you will immediately step on whatever was spilled.
    If you're tired, they will not be.
    If you love them, you will see the beauty in it all.
  • CoffeeQueenCoffeeQueen
    Posts: 227Member
    Oh @mami_of_3 you have to make it from scratch! It's the best!  I used a different recipe than I usually do because I couldn't find the one I normally use. It turned out deelish. It has cream cheese in it =P~ Let me know if you need any recipes... and if you have any over ripe bananas to use up, besides making banana bread you can also freeze them, then throw them in the blender - it will turn into icecream!  Or I should say it will taste like icecream only be healthier for you =)
  • shadylaneshadylane
    Posts: 3,037Member
    i never had a problem making friends until i stopped partying, now that i want respectable normal friends i can't find one to save my life. i can't handle the goody two shoes type, its hard to find somebody that's cool but has their shit together. seems like it has to be one or the other. i've actually come out and begged for a bff on here lol, i mean i have a lot of friends on here that have helped me a lot but not a bff. i want to be really close to someone again, someone i can tell anything and go out and have fun with and that has my back no matter what, a partner in crime. i miss having that, my bff since 7th grade stabbed me in the back and broke my heart, it would be hard to trust a female again but i'm ready to try.
    ~slim shady~
  • littlebitz
    Posts: 123Member
    @HMR_the west side of PHX aka the ghetto. @mami_of-3- what's up BORICUA! I knew u were Latina!
  • mami_of_3mami_of_3
    Posts: 163Member
    @littlebitz, wwwweeeeeeppppaaaaa :) how did u know? :)
    @CoffeeQueen, that sounds deelish!! =P~and I would LOVE a recipe for banana bread and other deserts, I love cooking and baking :)
    @shadylane, I know exactly what u mean hunni, when I was on the partying 24/7 stage I had lots of people around, now that I want a normal friendship it is hard. I don't mind if they have different opinions but I do mind when they try to jam it down my throat! And sadly that has been the case. I met a mom here and it seemed we were gonna get along great, but then everytime I say any little thing she doesn't completely agree with she kinda gets this attitude and gets a bit loud, all like: "no it's not that way it's like THIS" ugh it is so annoying plus seems she only looks for me when she needs a ride or for me to pick up her kids. Soooo that's that.
    @Nunya, lol and I am happy for you that u got some friends thru here, that is great! I ad made some online friends before thru a game that shall not be named  X_X but since I don't play it anymore we don't really talk anymore.. oh well..
    If you change their diaper, they will immediately poop in the new one.
    If you mop the floor, they will spill something.
    If you put on fresh socks, you will immediately step on whatever was spilled.
    If you're tired, they will not be.
    If you love them, you will see the beauty in it all.
  • wtfwit
    Posts: 220Member
    My mom and my sister are my friends. I have 2 "good" friends but right now 1 is working on her relationship with her husband so she is umm busy lol.. the other is my SIL and I do like her but I have to watch what I tell her because she tells her husband everything! Nothing wrong with that but if I wanted him to know, i would tell my husbands brother myself! So ya my mom and sister are my go to's because we can talk about anything and they don't seem to feel the need to tell other people and we can have fun w or without our kids without spending alot of $$.. or any!
  • mami_of_3mami_of_3
    Posts: 163Member
    You're lucky, I have no family here, at all. My mom does come to visit every few months, but we don't have the best of relationships so it's not that much better. You are so right, I hate when people do that. If I wanted others to know I would tell them myself. Have you tried telling her? Maybe she doesn't realize it( i know it should be obvious but some people don't)
    If you change their diaper, they will immediately poop in the new one.
    If you mop the floor, they will spill something.
    If you put on fresh socks, you will immediately step on whatever was spilled.
    If you're tired, they will not be.
    If you love them, you will see the beauty in it all.
  • wtfwit
    Posts: 220Member
    mami_of_3 said:

    You're lucky, I have no family here, at all. My mom does come to visit every few months, but we don't have the best of relationships so it's not that much better. You are so right, I hate when people do that. If I wanted others to know I would tell them myself. Have you tried telling her? Maybe she doesn't realize it( i know it should be obvious but some people don't)





    lol no i havent told her but she isnt stupid... SHE KNOWS NOT TO TELL HIM ABOUT ALL THE SHIT WE TALK ABOUT THERE MAMA!! Sooo hmmmm???? sometimes it's better not to have friends at all though n now that my kids are 12 9 and 3... it's actually kind of fun to kick back with them :O .. we will see how long this will last lol
  • Krissi6Krissi6
    Posts: 24Member

    I am SO glad to see that I am not the only one! I have hmmm....let's count them 0 friends! Shit I had a ton in HS, then I got preggers w/ DS16 and they all vanished, then my sister and my cousin were my best friends, we did EVERY thing together, then my sister met her now husband they got married and she pretty much decided I wasn't worth hanging out with anymore, I mean I understand that she wouldn't want to as much but I mean she completely cut me out and so of course my cousin did too, so then I was stuck with my mum (that sounds bad doesn't it? but I'm pissed at her right now)right now.) and I did the whole church thing with her and I had never felt SO lonely in my life up til that point! Sitting in church you should feel all loved and connected to ppl, nope, I got stared at because I was a single mum and didn't fit in any where. So then I met DH and we got married and for a while it was nice, he was my best friend and I didn't even know anything was wrong, then all of the sudden about 6 or 7 months ago he dropped the bomb that he had never even been in love with me. Says he loves me as a friend. So now I am basically alone. Not from lack of trying, we've been all over this country, lived in 3 states besides where we live now and have lived here 3 times all in 10 yrs time, and in every place it has been the same. We've tried communities, we've tried churches, we've tried, the hippy scene, we've tried being "normal", it's all the same! My family doesn't like me, never have, I guess I'm just too different for them. I don't like normal things, I don't like how society is normally run, I don't like the mundane day to day life we all live, but can't seem to find anyone else who feels the same way.

    '

  • mami_of_3mami_of_3
    Posts: 163Member
    oh hunni :( I understand you, We are here only us, and he wouldn't spend time with me(before) said"we live together n all those excuses) but I kept trying to make him understand that sleeping under the same roof on the same bed does not = to spending time. Told him he could put a picture on a wall and it would be the same. Now we watch movies together like everyday, go out sometimes too. He is joining in little by little. IT is hard as i am a SAHM and don't get to see any other adults and when I do well..... you read about my "luck." I also think different from most people, like i don't believe in doing and being who society thinks u should be and how to dress, etc, etc. But I als respect other people's opinions tho i do not get the same respect back. I am very honest as well, which I always thought was a quality people look for in a friend but apparently it's not in style anymore. I rather be myself than be fake to have fake friends, it gets lonely but the company is better ;) My family is weird with me, i don't think they like me too much as i am outspoken and usually the voice of reason since they all seem to not think about consequences. Including my mother who frequently compares me to my sister and how perfect she is(my mother is in denial about her so pretends to not know about how she is, thinks, the things she does and how nasty she treats everybody including my mother herself) ughhhhh
    If you change their diaper, they will immediately poop in the new one.
    If you mop the floor, they will spill something.
    If you put on fresh socks, you will immediately step on whatever was spilled.
    If you're tired, they will not be.
    If you love them, you will see the beauty in it all.
  • lolafllolafl
    Posts: 217Member
    We just relocated 1200 miles about 3 years ago so I had to make new friends if I ever wanted to leave the house again.  I have to say I've made several very good friends here.  Some people I wanted to be friends with or would have liked to have been better friends with - it didn't just happen.  Conflicting schedules, too busy, etc.  But the ones I have are awesome & have my back.  I love them.
  • putonalittlemakeupputonalittlemakeup
    Posts: 45Member
    It's not just you by any means.

    I haven't made new friends in a long time and am dubious about most of my old ones, sadly.  One of my best friends found Burning Man and that's all she talks about anymore.  Although I am glad for her, I felt miffed that the only birthday thanks from her was her posting on Facebook.

    Having a kid has been the great equalizer. I'm not going to feel whatever about it anymore. If they get it, they get it and if they don't, their loss.

    So yeah, thank goodness for Scary Mommy. We can vent here and share with each other. :D
  • MarySunshineMarySunshine
    Posts: 5,859Member
    @luvlyssa I wish you lived in Md! We could def hang out! I was nervous about meeting @shate98 the other day, but I had a great time!

    I've found we talk to all our friends often, but we don't get to get together as much because schedules and crap.

    But we can count on our hands the friends we keep. We have a lot of acquaintances.
    I'm as sexy as a burp mid-kiss. Watch out!

  • shate98shate98
    Posts: 3,142Member

    aw, thanks @CallieFlower82! I had an awesome time hanging out with you too! I was also nervous- possibility of cannibals and all. :P

    I have three bffs- one lives 3 hours north. The other two are both 16 hours away- and not in the same direction. I have some friends in town, but only one couple we see regularly, and that's because we have kids about the same age and live nearby.

    It's hard. Everybody is busy. Kids have schedules. Work schedules. Family. Weddings. Babies. Even my Mom was complaining to me this weekend that she needs more friends.

    Good thing we have SM!

    "As you wander through your life, whatever be your goal,
    keep your eye upon the doughnut, not upon the hole."
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