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When did you know DH/SO was "The One"?
  • lolafllolafl
    Posts: 217Member

    There might have already been a thread on this but I couldn't find it.  Anyway - I just started seeing this guy about a month and a half ago and he is everything I have ever wanted and some things I didn't even dare to hope for in a man.  I'm 40 so I know it's early yet, but I've been around the block a few times.  I've met his friends, been to his church - where he is very involved, etc.  He already calls me his girlfriend, says & does all the right things, etc.  Total transparancy.

    I don't feel any of the hesitations I have felt with every other guy and that nagging voice I have always heard in the back of my head saying "don't get excited, he'll fuck it up" isn't there and I've been poking around for it, too!

    Advise?  When did you know your SO was "The One"?

  • [Deleted User]
    Posts: 2,528
    Hey, lack of warning voices is a good thing!

    I knew my husband was the one when he didn't sleep with me right away. Didn't even try. He just wanted to hang out. Oh, and he drank Diet Mtn. Dew. My favorite! We toasted with it at our wedding :P
    Get me a damn beer.
  • PurpleFlowersPurpleFlowers
    Posts: 5,647Member
    Still trying to decide after 19 years...
    Stay away from my chocolate and nobody gets hurt!

    I think I like who I am becoming...
  • FoulMouthedSailorFoulMouthedSailor
    Posts: 1,900Member
    When we were in high school, she had me at "I hate that bitch too"
    You show the lights that stop me turn to stone, You shine it when I'm alone. And so I tell myself that I'll be strong
    And dreaming when they're gone.
  • Charlotte_SometimesCharlotte_Sometimes
    Posts: 1,756Member
    Sounds cheesy and I always doubted this sort of thing when I heard it from other people, but it was pretty damn quick.  We were friends for about six months, then one night went out together to a club when my friend cancelled on me at the last minute.  We slept together that night, and have not been apart since.  8.5 years ago.  I remember thinking "I love her" and then thinking "You barely know her!" and it was crazy.  But I also remember thinking "So THIS is what it feels like to finally be happy!" -- I was 32 and had been married and had been around both sides of the block, so to speak, several times, so it was a pretty amazing realization for me.
    "But a lesson must be lived
    In order to be learned"

    Ani DiFranco, Manhole
  • deviltwinsmommadeviltwinsmomma
    Posts: 2,315Member
    Yesterday, after he told me I was the most beautiful girl he has ever met during an argument. We have been together 7 yrs
    my mother used to sing me a song. It went like this: "Life is short, life is shit, and soon it will be over.
  • pdxmama
    Posts: 1,470Member
    PurpleFlowers said:

    Still trying to decide after 19 years...



    I feel ya on this one @purpleflowers! It's only been 8 here, but I know the feeling. I'm always so wistful when I hear people talk about knowing that they had found their soulmate a month after they met, or having been with someone for 25 years and still being head over heels in love with them. I always wondered if I'll ever feel that way about someone.
  • GritsGrits
    Posts: 3,757Member
    I don't remember having a moment where I knew he was the one. I just knew after awhile that I loved him in a way I had never loved anyone else. It was just something about him. He was always kind and considerate and he stood up for me. I don't remember exactly when, but it was sometime in that first year that I knew he was the one for me.
    "I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day, and I believe in miracles." ~Audrey Hepburn
  • AnonUser26
    Posts: 1,144Guest

    I am a true "love at first sight" case.

  • momnipotentmomnipotent
    Posts: 498Member
    when he finally got me too scared of him stealing my baby for me to leave.. I make the best of it but I am so jealous of that true love feeling. and great sex
    *ad astra per alia porci*
    my nuts hang like there aint no curfew
  • episcopal
    Posts: 1,401Member
    DW knew we were meant for each other before I did.  For me, it was a little more gradual.  It took me more time to realize it, because I had been burned in a prior relationship.
  • LesboMomLesboMom
    Posts: 2,856Confessional Manager
    FinallyFree2BMe said:

    I am a true "love at first sight" case.



    This is me, too. We had been talking for a while on the phone and finally met in the middle - in Virginia. I knew that night...the next morning...and if I wondered any at all...I knew when I had to drive away from her to head back "home."

    confessional-manager

    Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow. -- Helen Keller
  • Live4PeaceLive4Peace
    Posts: 320Member

    I also was a love at first site case...saw my DH across a field with his friend when I was 15.  I ran up to him and held out my hand saying "Hi, I'm___, I like you!"  He was shocked but smiled big as he swept me into a hug instead of handshake.  It was electric.  I just felt I knew him.... so I ran back to get my Best Friend to introduce her to him and his friend....and she ended up grabbing his arm and walking off, leaving me with his BF.  I would do anything for my BF and I thought he was too good for me, so I let her have him.  Even dated HIS BF for 3 months. He didn't date my friend, but left town for awhile.  Turns out he was just as tortured by the switch up as me and several months later we reunited in the rain for our first kiss.  We got married 5 years later.

    I have always known I was meant to be with him, but that doesn't mean it's always the best option... intense love can be intense fighting as well.  But either way, I know I was where I need to be in life with him. I love and hate him passionately. 

     

    I'm always misunderstood because the written word is the worst form of communication...you can't see me smiling =-)
  • Live4PeaceLive4Peace
    Posts: 320Member
    I've had a deep "connection" with more than one person in this life, male and female.  I think it goes deeper than just soul mates.  I believe we knew each other from before mortality and when we share the same memory with someone it triggers something in our soul when we meet them.  Like an energy pattern that has been blocked in our memory, but our soul remembers.
    I'm always misunderstood because the written word is the worst form of communication...you can't see me smiling =-)
  • discomoose87discomoose87
    Posts: 45Member
    When he and I plotted together to make the moment he proposed to me both a great story for us and the biggest troll ever on our exes!
  • TVmommyTVmommy
    Posts: 451Member
    I knew when I met him...and I know how hard it is to trust it. I am 36 and we've only known each other for about the same amount of time. Ummm, yeah I guess I will need to start another thread myself to let everyone know whats been going on.....
    Darling, a true lady takes off her dignity with her clothes and does her whorish best! At other times you can be as modest and dignified as your persona requires.
  • Utahmama0512
    Posts: 24Member
    It was gradual for me, but there were a few moments that set our love in stone. The first was that a few weeks into our relationship, I went to visit family in another state. He flew down to meet my family and then we spent 3 days in the car driving back home. We had a great time and got along great for being together that much so soon. The second was when we were together for only a month and I really needed to get out of my house (bad relationship w/ dad's girlfriend). I was planning on moving to North Carolina where a good friend lived and he told me to move in with him (at his parent's house!) because he wanted to get to know me better. I moved in. A year and few months later we were married. Also, during our period of living together, we moved to where my family lives where he knew no one and had no friends. It was hard on him, but to see what lengths he was willing to go through for me was really eye opening.
    We have been married for three years today and could not happier! We still get along so good and have a really amazing relationship.
  • primalmommaprimalmomma
    Posts: 1,136Member
    he was man #7 to enter my life and happened to be thru a dating site, lol...  and I had never really been in love before.  I had been in lust.  I had been in "caring" ...but not love. 

    I had a feeling the second I saw his picture.  that feeling continued to intensify when I heard his voice on the phone.  I saw him (not love at first sight, but I really felt something) ...he kissed me on my cheek on our 1st date.  I felt his lips on my cheek all the way home. 

    I knew within 3 weeks.  it took every fiber of my being not to tell him I loved him and scare him away.

    I would say, "I'm falling" . .. I would hint at it.
    He would say, "I'll catch you."

    OMG, so cheesy!  I know!

    he said I love you first. and we knew.  just knew.

    my love for him just solidified during our first 2 yrs.  we lived long distance.  leaving at the end of the weekend was torture.  having that feeling of my heart being ripped from my chest as I see him waving in my rear view mirror...   I had no problem leaving my ex's.  I wanted to leave as fast as possible, lol...  with Mike....I cannot live with out him.  I can't sleep without him next to me.  I expect if he dies before me, I would probably follow him soon after with a broken heart.  He's not my "other half" because I was never incomplete before I met him.  he's my bonus.  I never thought that I could have another heart out there...beating just for me.   He's like the sunshine.  Without his warmth, my life would be a cold and dark place.  He's my best friend.  I would never have been friends with the other men before him.

    “I did then what I knew to do. Now that I know better, I do better.” (Maya Angelou)
    http://www.primalmomma.com
  • Charlotte_SometimesCharlotte_Sometimes
    Posts: 1,756Member
    @DUO4Peace   I loved your story!  Fifteen years old, wow!   And I know what you mean about that connection.  Within the first week with my DW I had this unexplainable, overwhelming feeling of "I KNOW you!" like I knew her before, and knew her completely.  Very hard to explain but she had the same moment of "recognition" for lack of a better term.

    I think it applies to other relationships too.  No kidding, when my eldest was very very small he told me that he had "picked me" to be his mommy.  He said "before I was born I picked you to be my mama!" and then he couldn't elaborate beyond that but it sent a chill up my spine for sure!

    @primalmomma

    So sweet! :)  I know that everyone has given me crap but DW and I have not spent ONE single night apart since we officially became a couple over 8 years ago and we just really don't have any desire to.  We are together all the time and people think we're "weird".  We are both full time students right now and even take most of our classes together when possible or take online ones.  When we've worked in the past at different jobs where we were apart for hours each day we didn't like it.  Maybe we're too "inter-meshed" but whatever!
    "But a lesson must be lived
    In order to be learned"

    Ani DiFranco, Manhole
  • meandmy243meandmy243
    Posts: 6,348Member
    My bf was a one night stand almost 9 years ago.. Last june we met up and had coffee and watched a movie and i never left...
    mom of wild children
    going to the chapel 7/5/2014
  • Lola35
    Posts: 5Member
    My husband is not my soulmate. He often doesn't understand me, we have our differences. Sometimes I wonder if I've made a mistake because I always thought I'd marry my soulmate. But I find him incredibly sexy and admire a lot of things about him as much as I hate a bunch of other things about him...We've been together for almost 7 years, we have 2 kids and I feel fortunate most of the time. Other times it's hard and we work on it. Most of my friends work on their relationships and have issues. May be you never really know if this person is 'the one', may be you just decide if he is worth it. Life is less than perfect, I think it's better that way, leaves a little room for imagination.
  • HotSouthernMess
    Posts: 339Member
    After I had Ds I was sure he wasn't the ONE! He treats DD and DS totally different. It gets old my DD10 sees it. Don't get me wrong she was spoiled until DS5 was born still is but just the way he responds to her.
  • etherieletheriel
    Posts: 715Member

    A little more than 2 years ago, my sister invited my kids and me to a campout she and her friends were having at the lake near my house (sister lives 1 1/2 hours away). She knew I wouldn't want to sleep outside but since we lived so close, we went for the day. I almost didn't go because DS was tired from a baseball game that morning and 1 of my DDs was being punished, and I also felt that it was a pity invite since I never really got out much. DS and I were having an OK time hanging out, swimming, tubing, etc. and older DD was moping in a lawn chair because I had to punish her for something she did while we were there when I had to leave for a few minutes to go pick up younger DD. To my surprise, one of my sister's friends asks if I want some company on the ride to get DD. I was like sure whatever. Turns out we discovered on that short trip that we have a lot in common.

    I knew he was the one when after he saw me in a swimsuit at my fattest with all my makeup washed off in the lake, and he knew I had 3 kids who were not always the best behaved creatures, he STILL asked me for my phone number AND called me the next night (and every night after that) even though he was out of town for work. We went on our first date when he got back and we've been together ever since.

    He asked me to marry him 2 days ago!

     

    If I'm not supposed to do it, how come I can?
  • SassySassy
    Posts: 2,451Member
    I went to a frat party with my ex and ended up talking to SO for over an hour. Turns out he was on painkillers (and drinking- D'OH!) for a broken tooth so he didn't remember that night at all. We met again at another smaller party a month later and had almost exactly the same conversation! I pointed it out to him and he just laughed about it. 

    My ex and I were having trouble at that point for reasons nobody could do anything about, and SO would go for drives with me and just let me talk to him about it, about the ex, etc. Well ex and I were going through a long, drawn out break up and SO was there for me through the whole thing. Once I got drunk at his place (that was where we had football parties) and ended up staying because I lived with ex at the time and I didn't want to deal with him. SO tried to get fresh, and I turned him down pretty hard, but he pulled back. 

    We started dating just a couple of months later. We were together for three weeks before he left for a month for Christmas break- three weeks- and I couldn't stop thinking about him. When he actually made the effort to call me and came back early from break to spend time with me I think that was about it. I haven't had one single doubt in my mind since then. It has only gotten better and better.
  • battibatti
    Posts: 2,164Member
    When we met and he rescued me from the Easter bunny.

    SMSM_s_5

  • firefighters_wifefirefighters_wife
    Posts: 415Member
    I knew on our first date. We were sitting in the truck playing our own version of name that tune and I told him that if he could guess the next song I would kiss him and schedule a second date because it was my absolute FAVORITE song, I started the song and his jaw dropped I cocked my head and asked what's wrong he then grabbed me and kissed me and told me that lightning crashes by live is one of his favorites too. That was when I knew!
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • katz_meowkatz_meow
    Posts: 4,246Member
    My DH and I have a looooong history.  We kind of drifted in and out of each others lives since we were 13.  (He's now 37, I will be in Aug.)  We were always friends, and when we were kids I always knew he had a crush on me.  He now says he was always in love with me, but then why the hell did he never act on it back then?

    Anyhow, we did actually give it a go about 6 years ago, even lived together, but I don' think either of us was ready.  I have two kids from prior relationships, and he wasn't ready to be a "daddy", and to tell the truth I think I still had an oat or two in me to sow.

    Fast forward to  2 years ago, I had just started this job where I currently work, and i went to the bank to make the daily deposit.  Ran into him in the bank parking lot.  Literally ran into his arms.  He was smiling so huge and gave me the biggest bear hug, and it felt like I was home.  And that's when I knew.  We got together within a few days and haven't looked back since. 

    We celebrated our 2 years together yesterday, and our 1 year wedding anniversary is in Oct.
    Judgement comes in many forms but never scarce or shy
  • orangesumatraorangesumatra
    Posts: 214Member
    i knew the moment i wanted to have kids...before him, i didn't want kids.
  • TorturedbyTWINSTorturedbyTWINS
    Posts: 1,166Member
    When he hugged me I felt like I had found home.  When he smiled I wanted to kiss him and when he talked he was just like a life long friend I had always known.  Oh, and my horse Mojo loved him, and Mojo can be kinda picky! 
  • jaelaraejaelarae
    Posts: 30Member
    I had a feeling about DH before we met (saw him at work). Found out he had a feeling about me too. I was already in a relationship so I ended that & moved out to be with him. A few weeks later, my dad died and I started talking to my ex again. It was a very messy time in my life. DH and I dated for 8 months until I broke it off to figure out if I was over my ex or not.
    I had considered myself to be "in love with" 4 guys before DH. But with him I realized that it wasn't just about what my heart wanted- I knew he was what I needed, too, in the practical sense.
    I begged him to take me back after 2 months apart, and that was that.

    So... I "knew" somewhere around 9 months.
    -together almost 8 years, married almost 5
  • TrEr02TrEr02
    Posts: 687Member
    When we met for the first time in 9th grade US Goverment...I knew he was the one when he let me copy his home work. The rest is history lol :x
    We got no food, no jobs...OUR PETS HEADS ARE FALLING OFF!!
  • primalmommaprimalmomma
    Posts: 1,136Member
    @Charlotte_Sometimes
    I just saw an article on yahoo about a couple who's been married for 60/70 yrs and they dress alike every day. ;p  I'm not that cute with my DH...but I thought it was sweet. 
    “I did then what I knew to do. Now that I know better, I do better.” (Maya Angelou)
    http://www.primalmomma.com
  • MarySunshineMarySunshine
    Posts: 5,458Member
    I knew early on...just a feeling deep down, at the ripe old age of 14, that he was it for me. So far I still feel the same way.
    :x
    I'm as sexy as a burp mid-kiss. Watch out!

  • DoesMyAssLookBig
    Posts: 82Member
    When I was getting ready to say "I love you" and he beat me to it.  We met and started dating when I was 15.  Together now for almost 21 years, married for 19.  I still get butterflies.  :)
  • Charlotte_SometimesCharlotte_Sometimes
    Posts: 1,756Member
    @primalmomma

    Now dressing alike would be hilarious.  At least one of us would look completely ridiculous and it would probably be her since I am way too attached to my clothing styles, which were her would just look like she was in *drag*.  LMAO at the thought.  She wore a skirt and blouse and heels once... for Halloween! ;)
    "But a lesson must be lived
    In order to be learned"

    Ani DiFranco, Manhole
  • TurthipoTurthipo
    Posts: 340Member
    We met through a mutual friend but we were both in relationships. Then we started working together and I would get on edge when his wife would come into the store we worked at. She treated him like shit. One day we were working on a project and we had to move a shelf and I tried but couldn't so he did the manly chest puff "I will do it" thing and couldn't budge it, turned a little red and i laughed so hard all I could think was how lucky his wife was.
    Stuff happened, my XH met someone and left me, his wife and him had some differences they couldn't work through, and we kinda found our way to each other.
    I knew for sure one day after my XH and i had a fight and he threatened me, I was scared and miserable and upset. Kev walked up to me to see if I was okay, I told him what happened and he pulled me in for a hug. Then, as smooth as could be, he cradled my head in his hands and moved in to kiss me. It was electric, and I'd never felt anything like that before. We have been together for 5 yrs and I still get goosebumps when he touches me.
  • princessandmummy
    Posts: 15Member

    i knew the day he came to pick me up after my ex threw me across the room, my knight in shining armor and we've been together for 5 years have 2 children between us and getting married november 2014. things will ALWAYS happen for a reason good luck sounds like you got a good one! 

    :x
  • missmama5missmama5
    Posts: 3,658Member
    I love all of your "how did you know" stories!!!!

    My husband and I met through friends, and he was going to be a one nighter for me because I was a single mommy at the time and wasn't looking to bring anyone else into our lives. Well, something drew me back to him....maybe it was that he woudn't let me go!!!! He made sure I knew he was really into me, coming to visit me at work, taking me out every night that my son was with his bio dad, we were together three months before he met little man and that's when I knew I loved him.....seeing the connection he and my then 2 year old son had. it was quite a moment for me, because i never expected to find anyone who wanted us, both of us, as a package deal. and i said to him before he met little man "i like you a lot, but i need you to know that m son and i are a package deal. he is first in my life, no exceptions, and that will never change. as special as you are becoming to me, he is my whoe life, and that will never change". i was afraid iwould scare him away with my scary momma bear routine, but he took us both into his heart, no questions asked.
    my son now calls him daddy. but i have to say the moment i knew he was THE ONE was when he came back to me after we separated, after we lost our baby (late term miscarriage due to placental abruption) we drifted apart and i had an affair. he did everything in his power to save our marriage, and he took me into his arms and forgave me and we are happier than ever today. this man is my lover, my soulmate, my very best friend. there's nobody else in this world for me. he is amazing :)
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