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Politics skewing views of people
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I live in Wisconsin and there is a HUGE election today. This state is usually a Democratic leaning state and our Governor is Republican. He is facing a recall due to his stance on the unions and trying to drastically limit their power. It has created a HUGE line drawing rift in our state, but his actions have actually caused our state to have a balanced budget and no taxes raised, etc...That being said if any of you gus are my FB friends you know which side Im leaning on, but I was REALLY surprised at the backlash I've been getting, not for actually posting my opinion on politics, but for my actual stance. I've been unfriended, blocked, a few people even CAPS LOCKED CHEWED MY ASS!! I've been sworn at, told that the couldn't believe they ever respected me, talked to me, considered me a friend...etc...its not that fact that upset me, if they were willing to go that far over my opnion of stuff then they weren't actual friends...My questions to you all in ScaryMommyLand is, does a friends political leaning sway your thoughts of them? If they dont agree with you do you respect them less? What if you found out your BFF was on the other side of the fence as you are on hot topics like Gay Marriage, Abortion, Religion, etc? Would you not be friends, lose respect, avoid them?Im pretty extraordinary in an ordinary way
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No, I don't really care about my friends political opinions unless it gets really derogatory or racist. Then I have a problem. I don't like how people look at one aspect of a candidates "failings" and at nothing good that they do. Even if I don't particularly like what they stand for, I can still admire the good they do. Everyone is jumping on Obama right now, but he is the only candidate who said "women are not a special interest group. They make up half this country and are our sisters, wives, mothers, daughters, aunts and friends and they can decide for themselves what is best for their bodies and their reproductive rights." Also he declared January to be Human Trafficking Awareness Month and it is dedicated to bringing awareness to the public about something so evil and going on in the U.S. just as much as any other country. But, you rarely hear this with all the negativity drowing out the good. I don't care for personal attacks or mud slinging
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Example of what I am refering too. I live in Maine. Yes, we are mostly forrests and not cities, and we have one of the dumbest, biggest rednecks sitting in the Govenor's Mansion. He makes us all look like backwoods, ignorant, racist morons. Which we most certainly are not!!!!!! That aspect of his character PISSES ME OFF! But, with that said I do very much admire his strong stance on domestic violence. This state has an extremely high rate of domestic violence. He gave a public address and said "Maine is a tough, rugged state that is known for producing real men who work hard, but real men do not hit or abuse a woman. There is nothing cool, tough or admirable about that. We need to stop making this an acceptable practice and hold men accountable for this horrible abuse they inflict on women and the children who are hurt by it. We need to educate our young men that abuse is not acceptable and a REAL man never hits a woman or abuses her in any way!" So I say Go Gov. LePage where that is concerned!!!
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I know I stand on very opposite views as my family and friends, and so I avoid the subjects that would damage our friendships. I can respect that they believe something strongly opposed to me, as long as they don't try to get me to agree with them. Some people can't let things go, so I would just stop seeing them as much, but overall I just avoid confrontation. People value themselves for what they believe in...when one they love goes against that they see it as an attack on themselves as a person. No one likes to loose value.
On FB I make it a rule to not put my opinion on someone elses wall, unless asked. I put what I want on my own wall, but I don't mess around in other people's playgrounds unless invited.
I'm always misunderstood because the written word is the worst form of communication...you can't see me smiling =-) -
I agree! I will tell someone if they ask me directly, but I also clearly state that I do NOT expect them to agree with me or think that they are wrong if they don't. I respect other's opinions and I expect the same courtesy. It is the same with religion/belief in God. I will tell you if you ask but I do not push it down your throat or tell you that you are going to Hell if you don't believe the way that I do!!
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I'll discuss politics with people whose views differ from my own, but when it starts devolving into arguing, I back out. My views are part of who I am, and it's unlikely that someone equally or more fervent are going change them. But I'm also pretty moderate, and I think as I've gotten older, my views have become more tempered. I'm with @Duo4Peace in that I don't really post political views on FB. The few times I have my views have been so radically different from certain members of my family to have earned verbal lashings, and I'm an adult, I don't have to listen to those from anyone...if you don't agree with my position, fine, but don't scream at me in a public forum about it!Bite me, cupcake!
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Politics dont change my opinions of people. My dad, my sister, my aunt and most of my cousins are republicans. My aunt and cousins are way against gay marriage and abortion, I figure they are entitled to their opinions just as much as I am. I vote dem almost every time. I still enjoy their company, I just try to keep the conversations away from anything political.Nothing left to do but smile, smile, smile.. -Grateful Dead<3
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I had a feeling there was an election where you lived, today...not sure how I knew, just had a hunch! ;-)
I have been unfriended (on FB and IMO IRL) by default of being married to DH. He and a mutual friend were on opposing sides of a debate. DH simply presented examples and evidence going aganst the politician up for debate and our "friend" got pissed, told DH he "felt sorry for our kids" and unfriended both of us. I wasn't even involved in the conversation!
I don't participate in political debates and hardly ever in hot topic debates. I know people get heated about that shit and take it personally (same thing with taste in music...I don't get it). My friendships and relationships mean more to me than politics...so no I won't stop being friends with someone because they're anti-gay marriage or pro-life. I just make sure we avoid those topics...of if they come up agree to disagree and move on.
@kmetz44 I'd don't which side of the coin you are on in the election....but I'm from NJ and Chris Christie made it very clear what he thought of unions, especially the teacher's union. For a long time I was afraid of making small talk in stores and being asked what I did for a living...I was afraid I'd get verbally crucified for being a teacher. Even when we went out dinner you would over hear people at other tables bashing teachers...and not in passing comment kind of way...like really nasty. Family friends would forget that I taught and would go on rants about how horrible we all are, or how lazy, how wasteful...and then they'd remember my chosen career path (which funny enough, they all thought was a GREAT, dependable, noble profession while I was in college for it.)
Sorry this a sore spot. I get really upset that people are stupid, yes stupid, enough to let their friendships be ruined by politics. Politicians tell you what you want to hear to get your vote and hardly ever follow through...why let something like that come between friends?I'm as sexy as a burp mid-kiss. Watch out! -
@callieflower82 I'm in jersey and have a teacher cousin. The republican side of the family go on and on about teachers, I do have to step in a remind them that we do have a teacher in the family. On another note, I can't stand to hear Chris Christie talk. He sounds all slobbery to me, like a male Kirstie Alley.Nothing left to do but smile, smile, smile.. -Grateful Dead<3
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If someone was spewing hate about a group of people, yes my opinions would change. But politics are politics, and I'm not going to lambast you or unfriend you because you vote differently than I do.
I'm sorry you're going through this @kmetz44. You know my opinion on Scott Walker is different than yours, but you have a right to your opinion, and no one should be judging you for that.
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I would say if someone is saying that abortions should be illegal or that gays should not be allowed to get married, or if they were racist, my opinion of them would probably change. I would think they were pretty backwards. I would definitely delete them if they were racist, because I'm incapable of remaining calm about that shit. As for the abortion or gay marriage thing I would try to have a calm debate, and go from there, depending on the severity and how close of a relationship I had to them. And very rarely I have deleted someone (not a close friend by ANY means) just because they were constantly ranting on about God and I didn't like seeing it everyday because it gets on my nerves. But I definitely don't think less of people if they are religious, I respect people's right to believe in whatever they want, as long as it isn't harming others.
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Ophelia said:
@callieflower82 I'm in jersey and have a teacher cousin. The republican side of the family go on and on about teachers, I do have to step in a remind them that we do have a teacher in the family. On another note, I can't stand to hear Chris Christie talk. He sounds all slobbery to me, like a male Kirstie Alley.
It sucked hardcore. I had friends telling me not to worry about my job...and the back pedaling of, "oh we don't mean you'd hen we say those things about teachers." I told them too bad, I took it that way. Some of best friends are fellow teachers...
My dad was all for Chris Christie...until I called him sobbing. My second day back to work after maternity leave and my superintendent met with me personally to give me a rift notice (which pretty much says, "you are noT tenured, we can't afford to hire you back in the Fall because of state budget cuts,but if we find the money between now and August you'll be rehired.") I said to Dad, "Well I guess we definitely are moving away. Chris Christie's budget cuts has cost me my job. I hope you are pleased by the change he's brought around." They fired custodians and other "nonessential" people to save our jobs. Until then I scrambled to put resumes out up and down the MidAtlantic states.
I'm as sexy as a burp mid-kiss. Watch out! -
DH's best friend has radically different political views than I do and holds rallies at his house. We disagree on the big topics, but at the end of the day he is still a cool guy. I might rag him on it on occasion, but that's what makes it fun. If everyone I was friends with had the very same opinion as me, I'd have a lot of boring conversations.
And if someone on fb is espousing beliefs I don't agree with I just ignore that post. So what, you know?
"As you wander through your life, whatever be your goal,
keep your eye upon the doughnut, not upon the hole." -
I enjoy seeing people passionate about politics. If it wasn't for @CanadianMama I wouldn't know much about politics. I tend to stay away from stuff that causes such high emotion. I'm sorry you are going through this I love reading all the political post on your fb and on others walls.
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I had a feeling there was an election where you lived, today...not sure how I knew, just had a hunch! ;-)
Ha what was your first clue? My Aunt constantly busts my ass for being pro-Walker, and we go back and forth trying to shut the other person up but its done in a way that is light hearted and kind of joking but still being serious KWIM. Im getting frustrated because I had one person msg me and tell me that it was obvious that Walker was a racist and that was why he wasn't voting for him...but when I asked that person to tell me how they knew that or where the heard that I got unfriended...its just crazy..Ill debate till I die and come back as a zombie and debate some more, but (partly thanks to this site) I dont take it as personally as I once did and I find that some people get all crazy mad when I dont agree with themIm pretty extraordinary in an ordinary way -
I belong to a FB group, aptly titled "It's Not Easy Leaning Left in Mississippi"... and I lean FAR to the left.As you can imagine, my opinions are NOT popular here. Thankfully, I have great friends who not only listen when I talk, but aren't afraid or uncomfortable to have an actual conversation about it. Some....well. Some are not quite so open-minded.I love a good debate. And differing opinions are awesome, because it leads to great conversations! Extremism...that falls into a different category, though, for me. I TRY you guys. I really, really TRY to not think badly of people for their views on things like politics (and religion)... but sometimes, I'll be honest, if their political or religious views are such that it instigates a mean-ness in them towards other people... I can't ignore that. I mean, I CAN ignore it on FB or whatever, but I mean, I can't overlook it and still be AS friendly with people. If you use the n-word, think gays need to be shipped off to their own island, etc etc... I'm sure you are a wonderful person deep down in there somewhere, but my internal stress meter can't handle me being around you much, and I think it would just be better for all concerned if we didn't speak.
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Depends on the topic. If people are racist - no way are they remaining my friend. Gay marriage - I would look down on them and depending upon "why" I would unfriend them. Abortion - I am pro-choice so the main element of that is choice. Basically my real friends think mostly along the same lines as I do and I would have a hard time becoming friends... ok, no, I just wouldn't become friends with someone (right or left) who was anti-gay or racist. There are many on FB that were people I knew in high school and I haven't seen them in 25 years and could careless about their crazy views. The Jesus posts irk me because I don't like people shoving religion down my throat and that never happens with my Muslim or Jewish or Buddhist friends and I have unfriended a one or two that were over the top. And people who get all Rush Limbaugh would get the boot, too.
"Magic things are fond of deceptions.” ― Tom Robbins -
Hey i did some phone banking stuff for that lil election in WI today. Im sure you guys have no idea which side of that I'm on lol.Politics is kinda my thing and I am learning to temper myself. DC is a pretty liberal place so I very rarely find myself having very heated arguments about it here. Most of my friends are either from high school or work and since my work has always been on some pretty lefty issues, again it doesnt come up. If someone is respectful and not spewing direct hate, I can usually keep my cool ( I said USUALLY ! ) but if it is racist or anti gay, I usually cannot. If we fall on different sides of something like the Walker recall or abortion, then its just difference of opinion but if its racial or anti gay, I just cant. Then its personal, obviously.
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Having lived through wage roll backs and health care job cuts in the early 90's that wiped out half of the jobs in my profession(from which we haven't yet recovered) I get very heated about the anti-union stance. Budgets should be balanced, yes, but not at the expense of the people or on the backs of people just trying to feed their families. It makes no sense - cut their job to balance the budget and they end up using social programs like welfare and EI to pay their bills. So they are still taking money from the government budget, just from a different area, so the balancing becomes a accounting shuffle only.The anit-union movement is very scary - all the things workers spent years fighting for - paid vacation, health care, 40 hour work weeks, scheduled breaks during your shift, equal pay for equal work, job security, etc - are in grave danger if big business is succesful in breaking the unions. If they can repeal all the gains worker made, they will because greed has taken over. Look how much we have lost as it is - lots of business no longer provide dedicated pension plans for the workers,saying it cost too much money, yet the cost of retirement still exists and will fall onto social programs funded by the government.No one expects a business owner to not make profit, but the people who are helping him do that need to be respected and treated fairly as well.If we don't stand up for the unions and each other we will lose 100 years of progress in the blink of an eye.(ok getting of soap box now, sorry if I've pissed anyone off, I am just kinda pssionate about this and I love politics and debate over issues)
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And I not likely to cut someone off because of their views, but I will take advantage of the opportunity to debate the subject with them. I love to debate and discuss things - you never know what you will learn that will make you see things in a different light. I find it very very enjoyable as long as it is done respectfully and intelligently - your not trying to put the other down or disprespect them but simply nderstand their view.
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Thats the thing - it seems like there is no intelligent, respectful passionate debate anymore. And I love that. Sigh, makes me sad in the pants.
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I don't tend to be overly political on facebook except for around election time, and even then I don't think I've ever deleted someone or really got mad at them for what they believe is the right way to do things. I lean much farther to the right than the vast majority of my friends and although I don't really post much political stuff myself, I have defended unpopular politicians when others were ranting about them. They generally don't really like it...but I don't think anyone's deleted me over it.It really doesn't affect my relationship with people or how I think of them. Both my boyfriend and one of my BFFs have hearts that bleed very, very heavily and when I discuss politics with them, it can get really heated. But we have a mutual respect and love for each other so that trumps our politics. That being said, I'm very liberal in many ways so am always on the same side as them when it comes to social issues like abortion, gay marraige, etc. If one of my friends was marching in a white power, Right to Life or anti-Gay parade, I probably would lose respect for them, I don't think I'd be able to help it. It would be a really shitty conversation, but if it was a close friend, I think I'd have to have it. I would delete someone and lose respect for them if I thought they were racist, homophobic, or some other sort of douchebaggery. But just voting for someone else? Nah."The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off." ~ Gloria Steinem
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"As you wander through your life, whatever be your goal,
keep your eye upon the doughnut, not upon the hole." -
Thank you @shate98 !!!! It IS hard to find ! Everyone is either a bat shit nuts right winger or a batshit nuts emoprog lefty ! Im a pretty hard core liberal but both sides irritate the fuck outta me on this one. I mean, we can disagree without either person being called a Nazi cant we ??A moderate ! A moderate ! My kingdom for a thoughtful moderate !
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"As you wander through your life, whatever be your goal,
keep your eye upon the doughnut, not upon the hole." -
My kingdom is a Toyota Corrolla, a 100 year old house, a neurotic dog and an insolent teenager but they are ALL YOURS !!!
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While I agree that unions have served a very useful purpose and their intent, when formed was excellent, I have a very hard time stomaching the fact that my tax dollars pay for every employee in my county to have FREE, county paid family health insurance coverage when I have to work three jobs to help pay for living expenses to recoup what my DH and I have to pay for our employee-offered health insurance. We are one of the smallest counties in our state and have very limited budgets. The local officials have tried time and again to cap what the county pays or to have the employees contribute even a small amount of money towards the $65,000 premium, but the unions have blocked it, to the point of arbitration, every time.As far as the main topic of the post, I try not to get too political on FB or any other site I am on. I have several friends who constantly post political "things" and while I haven't blocked them, I have changed my settings so I don't get inundated by it.I have friends who have vastly different opinions and we try to keep the debates healthy and constructive. Some of the best conversations we've had have included a dear friend who is a teacher and her husband who is die hard-anti-union Republican.
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There seem to be two types of people on my FB: the daisies in the meadow people and the propaganda perpetuators. The daisies people get upset if anyone posts anything negative whether it is true or not. The propaganda people have a position and will post ANYTHING - lies or not- to back up their position. I don't love a debate but my stance is if you have an opinion you better be able to back it up or keep your toxic thoughts to yourself. I always delete propaganda people. Also since the union theme seems to be the basis of at least this thread have any of you read The Jungle by Upton Sinclair? It changed my perspective forever about unions. That ergonomic chair you're sitting on at work? Thank the unions. Overtime pay, holiday pay? Thank a union.
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That book will also change your opinion of peanut butter.
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AS long as it doesn't affect my opinion of bacon....
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I think its a total shame what has happened with health care in the US. It makes no sense to me that there never was national health care system. It only helps so many people.As I said before, balancing budgets should never be about taking away benefits, there are lots of other places to cut.I think instead of trying to take away health care from those who have it, the citizens in the US should be up in arms to get a national health care system SO ALL HAVE COVERAGE. It was a fight here in Canada when it was brought in back in the 50's, but it has benefitted the quality of life for our citizens immensly.So join a union, open a chapter at your workplace, support them when they picket!!
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I lose respect for someone when there is a lack of compassion. Don't agree with abortion? No problem, but don't spew hatred about those who do. I have actually very clearly stated that I lost respect for someone because they showed an enormous lack of compassion towards someone.(By me saying that I realise I wasn't being very compassionate myself!)
I have deleted people for teaching hatred. For weird views about hatred. I don't see why someone who was a devoted christian who was anti-choice, anti-gay, pro-gun and I, couldn't get along. We can have a respecful discussion about it, and agree to disagree. We obviously have to have something in common to make us friends in the first place though!"Be who you are and say what you feel. Because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter." - Dr. Seuss -
Politician is just the long form of Liar. I try to stay out of politics but I keep up with human rights issues and the anti/pro gun debate. Usually I just let the stupid political talk slide, people get so heated over it for stupid reasons. I'm a conservative leaning Independent, I find both sides ignorant on most fronts. Most of my friends are far right douche bags when it comes to politics, but I think they are more products of the environment we are in. Your opinions are one of the only things you own, yes they can be swayed, but I need a lot of proof to be swayed.
You show the lights that stop me turn to stone, You shine it when I'm alone. And so I tell myself that I'll be strong
And dreaming when they're gone. -
CanadianMama said:
If someone was spewing hate about a group of people, yes my opinions would change. But politics are politics, and I'm not going to lambast you or unfriend you because you vote differently than I do.
This is how I feel. Dh comes from a large family (his dad was one of 8) so there are lots of aunts, uncles, cousins and they have a yahoo group for everyone to keep in touch. There are often political posts on there. I don't mind other having a different view, we're all different people and will think differently. However, some family members use it to spread prejudices, and that has changed my opinion of them. In your case, though, it sounds like you've presented your views in a rational way, so I can't see responding the way that people have.
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@FreeToBeMee left wing political science major and politics nerd right here, we should be friends :D
I'm not even going to get into my problems with Walker and his ilk, if you're on my Facebook it's very obvious what I think. But I will always maintain that your Facebook is your Facebook. It's not my place to argue with you about something you've posted (I will argue with someone who feels like they have the right to tell you how wrong you are on your fb post though). If I don't like what the post says I move past it, it's not my job to change your mind. -
I'm with @freedomlover and @love here. I love politics, enjoy a good debate, and I'm always open to new information, perspectives, etc. BUT there are certain beliefs/opinions that will cause me to cease relations with you. If someone is blatantly racist, homophobic, sexist or some other extreme that violates the rights/character of a particular group then I really don't need/want people like that in my life or around me/my family. I pride myself on being open minded, but if this makes me judgmental...so be it.Now will I de-friend you simply because you're a republican/conservative and I'm not? No. As long as nothing you say/do/share promotes hate/intolerance of any kind then we're good. I may not understand you, but I'll still value you and respect you :)
the truth has arrived...
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From the Confessional
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i want to just leave my bf and my kids for one day
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I need to see a therapist so bad, I feel like I'm going implode :( scared to make an appointment though...
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Bought a book about quitting smoking a week ago. At least I finally opened it. It's still on the counter. I am not ready to quit!!! It's the only thing from my single days I still have left of me!!!
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I'm so happy I had a emo affair since it made me love dh even more. It boosted my self esteem and our sex life. I wish I didn't have to break the guy's heart though, he loves me. I wish I felt bad for him but I don't.
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