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  • librapsy1020librapsy1020
    Posts: 18Member
    Don't understand how parents let their teen kids lay up in their homes with their boy/girl friends. When I was a teen I was not even allowed to have a boy in my room. It was just against my parents morals and beliefs. Then again I wouldn't want to, that's just so disrespectful to me.
  • shadylaneshadylane
    Posts: 3,037Member
    when bf and i stay at my parents we still can't sleep in the same room, we're 30 and been together 2 years lol
    ~slim shady~
  • missmama5missmama5
    Posts: 4,101Member
    I was only allowed to "sleep over" with my boyfriend at the time after I had gotten pregnant. At 17. Yeah. My mom said "Well, what's the worst that can happen now?!" lol. But honeslty, I'm glad she did now because "living" with him like that showed me who he really was and we haven't been together since my son was 6 months old. He was a LOSER and a DEADBEAT and still is. So, thanks Mommy :D
  • librapsy1020librapsy1020
    Posts: 18Member
    So u didn't feel ashamed or uncomfy?
  • lolafllolafl
    Posts: 217Member
    It's what society has come to.  Kids get away with WAY too much.  This generation has lost a lot of respect in general.  That's why it's so important for us exhausted SMs to stick to our guns & raise our kids with morals, values and respect for others even when others aren't.  I can't tell you how many times my DD8 says "So-and-so doesn't have to do this" or "So-and-so gets to do that".  Well, they would if they were my kid because I care about what kind of person I'm raising.  It would be a lot less work if I didn't care what kind of human being I'm letting loose on the world.
  • regpregp
    Posts: 1,042Member
    Boys were not allowed in our rooms either. My parents always said "we don't entertain in the bedroom".
    @lolafl - even "back then" there were parents who let this kind of thing go on. My then boyfriend, a girlfriend from school (who was FIFTEEN), and a few others that I knew about.
    I thought it was nuts then and now.
    I'm on the Internet Explorer!
  • AnonUser35
    Posts: 543Guest
    No boys were allowed in my bedroom growing up. IMO, the problem is that parents let their teens do what was forbidden in their homes growing up because they don't want their teens resenting them the way they did their parents. Parents need to quit trying to be their kids friend and start being the parent. I am a firm believe that if my daughters hate me in their teen years, then I will probably be doing something right!

    Oh, and there were no closed doors at DHs house growing up. If you wanted to shut your bedroom door, you had to ask permission.
  • LA_PygmyHerderLA_PygmyHerder
    Posts: 1,239Member
    I was allowed to have anyone I wanted over because I really did have guys as friends. The only rule was I had to leave my door open. If it got too quiet my grandfather would peek his nose in. What my parents didn't know was I was dating a girl at the time. :D
  • MarySunshineMarySunshine
    Posts: 5,854Member
    We had to leave our bedroom doors open if we had any guys over....this included my guy friends (all of which I'm still friends with) and DH back when we were dating. The other option was to hang out in our half of the basement and you couldn't really hear or see what we were upto down there so...

    Did DH and I still fool around when we got the chance? Yes. We were teenagers...and even though I lived in a pretty strict house I still broke that rule. Not proud of it.

    My parents raised both my sister and I to have respect for ourselves and others, to respect and follow the rules and to responsible. We both have very strong morals. I'm sorry, but letting us have boys in our bedrooms, especially whe the doors had to be open, does not signify in anyway that we don't have morals, values or respect.

    I think my parents hoped letting me have friends in my room would motivate me to clean it. That blew up in their faces.

    I'm as sexy as a burp mid-kiss. Watch out!

  • lovinmom
    Posts: 682Member
    My parents were very strict. I wasn't allowed to have boys in my room. I did anyways. I'm going to have my hands full when my kids get older. They are spitting images of me.
  • AnonUser33
    Posts: 743Guest

    I lived at my now husbands house when we were dating (17 & 18) because my mom was horribly abusive. However I had my own room. He was "forbidden" from coming in there. That doesn't mean he didn't come in my room or I didn't go in his room. We were just sneaky. he also spent the night at my parents house.

    My kids are getting to be almost that age and I am unsure how I will handle it if they come to me and say they want to have their bf/gf stay with us. I guess it depends on the circumstances. If it wasn't for my in laws allowing me to stay with them I would have endured several more years of abuse.

    Our rule for now is no bf/gf upstairs where the bedrooms are. Also if one kid has a friend spend the night, the other kid has to sleep downstairs. I just try and take precautions.

    If my daughter is anything like her mother its not the boyfriend I need to worry about, its the girl friends.

  • AnonUser28
    Posts: 2,083Guest
    I don't know, my DD is still far too young for me to worry about this issue yet, but I think I would rather have her do that kind of stuff at home, where I know where she is and who she is with, and make sure she has the proper sort of protection. I'm hoping I can raise her so she is well educated and not embarrassed or uncomfortable about sex and sexuality, IMO it is a natural part of life, and teenagers are going to do it. I don't even think I will want to stop her, only make sure she is being responsible. Then again I was raised by hippies,  @};- FREE LOVE @};- lol!!!
  • ChristyJChristyJ
    Posts: 902Member
    I hope I am doing something right?  My DS5 said he is going to marry his current girlfriend but he is going to wait until they are 16 to kiss and when they get married they are going to have a bunk bed.  I can deal with that.  My parents did not like boys at the house at all, in fact, no friends really.  I just went to theirs, but we were a big bunch of girls and peer pressure kept us all honest.
    Imperfect and proud of it.
  • DoesMyAssLookBig
    Posts: 82Member

    I don't mind letting my daughters show their rooms to boys from the hallway, but they don't even get to enter the room.  Mine aren't even allowed to have boys over unless I'm home (17 & 13).  My oldest hasn't even been kissed yet, and the youngest wants to dump her current boyfriend because he's too clingy and wants to hold hands and kiss her.  LOL

     

    Once when I was 17, my parents went out of town for the weekend, and I let my boyfriend sleep over (we're married 19 years now).  We, of course, had sex and he spent the night.  When my parents found out from a nosy neighbor, they made me go and apologize to every neighbor on my street for what I'd done.  Still resent them for that a little, but have to laugh at the punishment. 

  • motherofdragonsmotherofdragons
    Posts: 57Member
    I'd like to think that once my daughter is on birth control, I'd rather they do it under my roof where I know they're safe than them try to do it in the back of a car and get nailed for indecent exposure and whatnot, that and if the fucker does anything inapropriate that my daughter doesn't like, I can kick his ass out and tell him never to come back.  
  • librapsy1020librapsy1020
    Posts: 18Member
    I'm talking about a man raising his 2 sons,16&18. I told him it wasn't a good idea, now both of the sons have baby's on the way. The sons won't Wrk n the father is going to have to take care of his sons and their baby's...smh!!!
  • AnonUser27
    Posts: 1,742Guest
    librapsy1020 said:

    So u didn't feel ashamed or uncomfy?



    What the hell is there to be ashamed of? Obviously no one felt ashamed or they wouldn't have done it.
  • WildandFree
    Posts: 1,700Member
    I lived with my boyfriend when from the time I was 17 until we moved out together the summer after I turned 18. *shrugs* What of it? Why should I be ashamed?
  • WildandFree
    Posts: 1,700Member
    And as for him staying with us, yes he did that too. I was on birth control and was told if I thought I was old enough to have sex, then I was old enough to deal with the consequences of my actions.
  • librapsy1020librapsy1020
    Posts: 18Member
    Bc for 1 it wasn't their hs to lay up in. 2 if they wanna lay up then they should provide their own place 2 do it at...
  • WildandFree
    Posts: 1,700Member
    Who is that comment directed at @libraspy1020? It was a little unclear who that was meant for :)
  • AnonUser28
    Posts: 2,083Guest
    My house is my child's house as well, every bit as much as it is mine. It may not always be, but certainly it is at this point, and will likely continue to be through her teenage years. Why should sex require your own house @libraspy1020? Why is it disrespectful? I can't think of any reason besides religious morality, which, while it may be valid to some people, is not something I subscribe to. It seems to me that only people who are sexually repressed themselves would wish to repress their children, but that is simply an opinion, not based on any fact.
  • WildandFree
    Posts: 1,700Member
    Frankly @collegemom I'd be glad that my boys trusted me enough to be honest in their sexual undertakings and smart enough to be in a safe place and use protection. I'd prefer that they not do it while everyone is in the house or be all obnoxious and ridiculous about it out of respect, but that's just me. Kids/people are going to have sex whether we like it or not. Did you have your own home before you decided to have sex regularly? Not a snarky question, but a legitimate one.
  • AnonUser28
    Posts: 2,083Guest
    @mellowyellow No I did not, although I was expected to be discreet, as I had younger siblings at home. I agree with you 100% that it would be disrespectful if it was done for example, on the livingroom couch while I was washing the dishes in the kitchen. The reality is that many teens WILL fool around on the couch if they are not allowed in their rooms...
  • WildandFree
    Posts: 1,700Member
    Whoops that question was for the OP but thanks for answering! Me either haha
  • AnonUser27
    Posts: 1,742Guest
    Lay up in. You mean have sex, no?
  • librapsy1020librapsy1020
    Posts: 18Member
    My how times have changed. Like I said b4 when I was a teen(70' s) my parents didn't allow boys n my room. I never had sex n my parents hs or his parents. We both wrkd so we went 2 hotels. That was just how MY parents were when it came 2 beliefs n morals.
  • WildandFree
    Posts: 1,700Member
    Well it's not the 70s. What more can anyone say? Times change, and not everyone has the same "beliefs" and morals. Shrug* each to their own.
  • librapsy1020librapsy1020
    Posts: 18Member
    lolafl said:

    It's what society has come to.  Kids get away with WAY too much.  This generation has lost a lot of respect in general.  That's why it's so important for us exhausted SMs to stick to our guns & raise our kids with morals, values and respect for others even when others aren't.  I can't tell you how many times my DD8 says "So-and-so doesn't have to do this" or "So-and-so gets to do that".  Well, they would if they were my kid because I care about what kind of person I'm raising.  It would be a lot less work if I didn't care what kind of human being I'm letting loose on the world.



  • CaMommaWthluvx2CaMommaWthluvx2
    Posts: 37Member
    I am 22 and married now but all through high school my mom let my bf's stay the night in my room and yeah stuff did happen almost every time... now that I am a mom however HELL no this will not be happening, I have been there done that and no matter what a teenager tells you always stick to your guns and listen to your gut feeling and morals!!! I agree I am still a kid it seems but I believe that this day and age kids' respect and morals have gone down the shitter lol seriously I wish I had been raised to respect myself more but I WILL raise my kiddos to, and I will do my best so I am proud of the person I release into the world :)
  • CaMommaWthluvx2CaMommaWthluvx2
    Posts: 37Member
    We have to make this world better starting somewhere and I think that somewhere is with our children 
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