Motherhood Comes Naturally (and other vicious lies) is available in stores, and online, NOW. Do you have it yet? Have you told all your friends and family about it?
**Get it, share it, and spread the joy!**
Make Your Own Sentence (a game)
-
Saw this on FB. It's fucking hilarious.
Step 1. Choose your month of birth:
January: I hate
February: I ran naked with
March: I need
April: I shot
May: I smoked weed with
June: I killed
July: I pissed on
August: I fucked
September: I got married to
October: I stabbed
November: I gave a blowjob to
December: I took a crap on
Step 2. Choose your birth day
1 a monkey
2 a prostitute
3 a vacuum cleaner
4 you
5 Barney the dinosaur
6 a dog
7 Santa Clause
8 a transvestite
9 a porn star
10 a condom
11 a bowl of cereal
12 a Jew
13 a lesbian
14 a horse
15 an old man
16 a drug dealer
17 a clown
18 an old woman
19 a dildo
20 Michael Jackson
21 a drunk Mexican
22 an egg
23 a piece of shit
24 a robot
25 a Nazi
26 a puppet
27 George Bush
28 a black guy
29 Madonna
30 a cookie jar
31 a fat guy
Step 3. Choose the color shirt you are wearing
White: because that's what I am
Black: because I'm sexy
Pink: because my friend told me to
Red: because I was horny
Blue: because I'm gay
Yellow: because I hate my life
Gray: because I stink
Green: because I smoke crack
Orange: because I'm ugly
Brown: because I'm racist
Checked/plaid: because it made me orgasm
No shirt: because I have perfect abs
Other: because I'm single
Now write the sentence below to show SM what kind of person you really are! -
I stabbed a porn store because I stink. LOL!!!!! Guess that means it's time to take a shower and hide the knives.
-
I stabbed a robot because I'm gay.
-
*porn star* not store. Apparently I stink and I can't type.
-
I killed a Jew Because I'm sexy.
Which is fucked up because my wife is Jewish, and I'm sexy or so I keep telling my self.
You show the lights that stop me turn to stone, You shine it when I'm alone. And so I tell myself that I'll be strong
And dreaming when they're gone. -
You killed her @FoulMouthedSailor and @chaosmom pissed on her. She's not having a good night AT ALL =))
-
I killed a transvestite because my friend told me to.....
Hey, @FoulMouthedSailor you were born the day I was due. Lol
-
I smoked weed with.a.clown because im single
ds 3mo is I ran naked with george bush because im gay LOL
SO I smoked weed with a porn star because I have perfect abs... lol he wishes...*ad astra per alia porci*
my nuts hang like there aint no curfew -
I stabbed a monkey because I'm gay. =))
DS
I took a crap on Michael Jcakson because I'm gay.
Other DS
I took a crap on a clown because I have perfect abbs.
=))" Wibbly wobbly timey wimey ......." The Doctor
" I'm a leafe on the wind..watch how I soar ." Wash :((
" Oh the wall had it comming.' Sherlock Holmes
yea I am geek !! -
I gave a blow job to an egg because I smoke crack. :))Great, now I'm going to be wondering how you would go about giving a blow job to an egg lolIf life gives you lemons, squirt lemon juice in life's eye!
-
Me - i ran naked with a puppet cause i stink...
Bf- i married an old woman because im sexy...
Ds- i ran naked with an old woman cause im rasist...
Dss- i fucked a drug dealer cause i was horny....
Umm... Wow...mom of wild children
going to the chapel 7/5/2014 -
Me: I gave a blow job to a drug dealer because I'm sexy.
Professor: I got married to a dildo because I have perfect abs.
Bwahahaha! -
I gave a blowjob to a Jew because I'm single.
/:)I'm as sexy as a burp mid-kiss. Watch out! -
I killed a robot because thats what I amStay away from my chocolate and nobody gets hurt!
I think I like who I am becoming... -
I need a horse because i am horny. WTH ? Well i know i am horny, but a horse ? Hope it is an expression for a bigger dildo :PIt is for me to know and you to dot dot dot.
-
I shot a bowl of cereal because I'm gay.not my chair, not my problem
-
Omg
I gave a blowjob to a dildo because I was horny..
Yupp sounds about rightmy mother used to sing me a song. It went like this: "Life is short, life is shit, and soon it will be over. -
I hate a horse because a friend told me to. Thanks alot friend!! That horse did nothing wrong!!
:-(("I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day, and I believe in miracles." ~Audrey Hepburn -
i hate a monkey because my friend told me too :)
-
I got married to a Nazi because I'm sexy....horrible for a mexican jew(ethnically speaking)
-
I'm lmao at this thread!
-
I ran naked with a nazi cause I'm sexy!
-
@hartia that literally made me LOL and I don't laugh often..woke my kid up but definitely enjoyed that onei
-
I stabbed Barney the Dinosaur because I'm Horny.Hakuna Mata....
-
Me- I got married to Barney the dinosaur because I smoke crack
SO- I hate a prostitute because I have perfect abs
Dd5- I ran naked with a nazi Because I'm sexy
Dd6- I took a crap on u cuz that's the way I am
Lmao I love this! -
@batti lmao tripping with santa kinda creepy with all that white facial hair.my mother used to sing me a song. It went like this: "Life is short, life is shit, and soon it will be over.







































