Will a 2nd kid f@#* it all up?

Lakegirl34

Can anyone relate to having moments of sheer panic when trying to have a second child-like what if this kid fucks (am i allowed to say fuck in a thread title?) up our nice groove we settled into or causes the first child to have problems?
I've only been off birth control for two weeks but panic randomly screams in my head when I'm enjoying my life now. I think this is typical anxiety and I'm curious about other's experiences. I have to go to bed but would love to catch up to the responses tomorrow and hoped by admitting this maybe it will help the anxiety release some.

AnonUser27

If the word fuck is welcome anywhere, its here. :D

squish

I think about this a lot! I go through periods of really wanting another child and then immediately wondering who would watch said child while I was at work and what would it do to my husband. My sister watches DS now so he's not in daycare and my husband is still adjusting to one kid and is dead set on only having one.

I don't worry about the routine we've set up. I just worry about the lack of family support and I really don't want to be a sahm (nothing against those who are or want to be, I'm just not cut out for it).

Maybe if my parents or other siblingskved down here, I would go for it but for now, we are being careful and my Dh probably wouldn't even come near me if I was ovulating.

So yes, I panic too when I think about it but it doesn't stop the yearning.

deviltwinsmomma

Yes... yes it will. But it will be the best muth'rfuckin mistake EVERRRRRR!!

Xraymom

I wonder the same thing, and we'll find out in a few weeks when baby#2 arrives.

LLB

Probably! We are expecting #3 ( our first 2 are twins). Our twins are in school full time now, we have a good routine down now, etc. We are basically starting over again. Plus yeah while our children are excited about their new baby brother/sister right now im sure that will change once a screaming, stinky, crying little person is taking away some of their mommy daddy time.

We never planned on having children this far apart but that is what life dealt us. So yeah while it will fuck up our routine in the short term eventually we will get into a new routine and all will be well again.

Charlotte_Sometimes

I think everyone worries about this. I did, and everyone told me not to worry, and I didn't listen, I still worried... and they were all right! It works out just fine. I love that my boys have each other in this world, and their sister too. I want to strangle them when they are arguing but then I see how they love each other and it's the best feeling in the world.

unforgiven

This is totally normal. It will come and go throughout child number #2's life I'm sure. lol

Grits

Yep, a new baby will undoubtedly fuck up any and all routines that are already in place, but you adapt and make changes where necessary. It's all good. We just had #3 in March. That was way worse than adding #2 a few years ago!

fantasticalmama

I'll get back to you in September when #2 is born. I worry about it too. Not so much about the schedule or starting over again, but how lil monster will handle not being the only one.

Lakegirl34

Thank you all for the feedback. It helps to know I'm not alone in worrying and the reward is worth it.

AKimiB

Why, yes... Yes it will. Lol
But, as others have said, you adapt, make changes and then routine will be set again...
...
Until #2 becomes mobile. Lol

But, it keeps you on your toes and the sibling interactions are priceless.

beachmommy

I worry about my chances of getting another "good" baby. LOL. DS 4 mo's is so calm and good natured. My DH and I joke that we may have dumped all our good genes into this one and #2 will get all the "bad" stuff!

All jokes aside... I truly do worry about this!

iamslowlygoingcrazy

Oh yes, totally normal to worry. My DS was just a year when I got pregnant (surprise!) with DD, I cried for a week lol. It does throw everything upside down for a while but then u get a new schedule and routine. And I agree with these ladies, it is the best thing in the world to see relationship between siblings :D Now if they'd just cut out all the fighting shit it would be perfect ;)

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batti

A new baby, no matter if its your first, second, or tenth, its gonna cause changes in your life. I wouldn't say it fucks things up though, in my opinion ;)
If that's what you want, you make it work.

I have 2 sons, BTW, they are 2 and 4. I definitely felt that 'oh crap, its about to get TWICE as hard!'
Honestly, in some ways its more than twice as hard, and in other ways its less hard.

Lakegirl34

Delightfully fucked up will be my new mantra for any further anxiety issues

I had a lot if things that lead me to have my first in my 30's. It was a huge adjustment but most days things are great in my life bc I worked my ass off to create an amazing life (that of course sometimes I still want to run away from). I just want to make the right decisions for our family and basically I think too much.I can't imagine life without my sibling.

I think I have this distorted belief that I don't deserve it this good, so having another kid is scary vs coming from a belief that if we have an amazing life lets bring another kid in it and it will work out bc we work together to make it so.
That's probably some rambling nonsense but I think I'm seeing my issue.