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Dreading Fathers Day ='(
  • Twins911Twins911
    Posts: 212Member
    Don’t get me wrong, I have a wonderful loving father and I'm blessed to have him. 

    It’s about my DS father… exDH has been incarcerated for 4 years. 
    This situation was very devastating for us all when it first happened. I waited 3 days before I told DS what had happened. Trying to control my emotions I had to tell him that his dad had been arrested…. It was the hardest thing that I had to do. I felt my heart tearing out of my chest when he collapsed crying on the floor. All I could do was lay on the floor with him trying to comfort him. Only DS, DH and I were in the room and DH was crying along with us but there was nothing that we could say or do that would take away his pain. That night I slept out side his bedroom door because he didn’t want me there with him. I know that it’s only normal for DS to have a hard time dealing with this whole situation, but his pain is my pain and it’s just heart wrenching not to be able to take it away. exDH was always a great father and they were very close. They Had made plans about where they would go and what they would do when DH turned 15. So this year has been harder than most because DS turned15 and now fathers day.

    Every father’s day is a struggle for him; I just pray that he can find some closure sooner than later. EXDH will be gone for 15 years, and it makes me cry every time I think about it. My DS will be a grown man by the time he can have his daddy back. 

    He’s been to therapy, but he’s always been a well-rounded young boy/now almost a man. I’ve always talked to him and we have long detailed discussions on everything and anything. So he told me one day, “I don’t want to go back to therapy, everything that I tell her I tell you and she basically tells me what you have already explained to me.”

    Sorry for going on and on… My heart is in pain for my child and I just didn’t know where to post this.

    Everyone have a wonderful FATHERs Day… 
  • momofdbbmomofdbb
    Posts: 9,066Member
    I am so sorry for you and well everyone involved. =((
    " Wibbly wobbly timey wimey ......." The Doctor
    " I'm a leafe on the wind..watch how I soar ." Wash :((
    " Oh the wall had it comming.' Sherlock Holmes
    yea I am geek !!
  • Emmie
    Posts: 277Member
    Does he get any visitation or communication with his Dad?
  • Twins911Twins911
    Posts: 212Member
    @Emmie, he does have visitations but it's once or twice a year. EXDH is too far away, the expense is too much. EXDH wife can't afford going to visit frequently. EXDH can also communicate through e-mails but of course its not the same for DS. 

    We live in South Texas and exDH is in Georgia :-/

    Thanks Ladies
  • BellaBefanaBellaBefana
    Posts: 8,164Member
    @Twins911:  I know it won't be the same, but is there anyway for you to execute the 15 yo Father's Day plan?
    Bite me, cupcake!
  • Twins911Twins911
    Posts: 212Member
    @BellaFefana I really wish I could. We are financially struggling and believe me if I could I would. 

    They had planned to go to the Grand Canyon together and exDH had told him he would get him his first car so he could start working and becoming responsible. There really isn't anything that would replace the joy of experiencing all those things with his dad. 
    :(

    Sometimes I go into his room in the middle of the night and watch him sleep,like when he was a baby. Is that strange? Does anyone else do that with their teen? He's my baby still…. 
  • BellaBefanaBellaBefana
    Posts: 8,164Member
    The Grand Canyon is beautiful!  It's too bad you can do it for him...and I know, it wouldn't be the same w/o Dad.  

    No, it's not weird to watch him sleep, especially under the circumstances!
    Bite me, cupcake!
  • Emmie
    Posts: 277Member
    What a hard lesson to learn at 15, that not all the promises Dad makes can be kept.  If you e-mail with the ex, maybe let him know how extra hard this will be for your son.  (I'm sure difficult for the ex, too.) 

    You are a good lady to be helping your son keep his relationship with his Dad, and to be watching out for his heart.  May tomorrow be a peaceful one for your family.
  • momofdbbmomofdbb
    Posts: 9,066Member
    I still watch my DS sleep sometimes the oldest is 12. The youngest is 4 and he sleeps in the bed with me so it's kind of hard not to watch him sleep. Especially when he rolls over onto my face ! Lol. Ahh they are so peaceful and innocent looking when they are alseep.
    " Wibbly wobbly timey wimey ......." The Doctor
    " I'm a leafe on the wind..watch how I soar ." Wash :((
    " Oh the wall had it comming.' Sherlock Holmes
    yea I am geek !!
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