ahhh, shit.  that's all I can say.  If you can get her to accept she has a problem, NarcAnon can be a lifesaver, for all of you. >:D<

First off >:D< , I know you & your parents are trying everything for your sister & nieces.
How are they doing there? Are they calmer?

I wish I knew an answer, I've watched a family struggle with this for a long time.
She's the only one that can decide if & when she wants help, unfortunately.
I don't know what would be best for the girls, her 1/2 in their life while using, or out if your parents decide to go the tough love route.

The only advice I have is to you personally. I've watched as the family I referenced above went thru hell. His sister got married to a great guy, now has 2 beautiful kids. Created a really nice family for herself, hard working, fun, kind, everything.
Her brother's struggles seemed to constantly overshadow her life, the births, etc.
We've talked about it over the years. I'll tell you the same thing I told her, if you don't mind.
Your sister's life is just that. Her life. If you're in a good place in yours, you need to fully experience & enjoy it. Good times & bad times happen to us all. Your good shouldn't be ruined by anyone else's struggles. I know you must be worried sick about your your parents, your nieces, your sister.
If you can, try to separate that from your day to day life. That it doesn't consume you & your thoughts. Enjoy your dh & little ones. These years are precious. And this could go on forever, one
crisis to the next. It's been over 12 years for this family.
From reading your other posts, it sounds like you're doing everything in your power to help your nieces along.

I hope this gets better soon, I'm so sorry you're going through this.
Watching your parents struggle must be heartbreaking.
And it can be infuriating watching someone do this to them.
Good luck, sending all of you good thoughts & prayers...

Thanks ladies....its such a crappy situation. My nieces are happy to be with their mom in a way. The 5 yr old saw her kissing her new bf and got extremely upset. As soon as she saw me the first thing she says "mom was kissing dan all night and i told her to stop and she wouldnt so i told her i was going to tell on her" she ended up telling me, my dad, and brother. She goes on to say "why cant mom see that her life would be so much better without a man" These little girls know too much and have seen too much. My sister is oblivious to it and refuses to admit she has a drug problem.
When the 4 yr old moved in with us she had the worst stench to her urine and would constantly have accidents (poop and pee) while living with us we got her healthy (she had a uti), completely potty trained, and up to date on shots (she hadnt had a well check or immunizations since she was 15 mos old) She has reverted back to having frequent accudents and her urine smell is back. I feel like everything we done has been erased. Im so incredibly sick abt all this. Trying not to dwell on things. Its so hard to just say its my sisters life not mine when it is affecting so many people I love. As horrible as it sounds some days i just wish she'd go away forever. I hate what her addiction has done to our family and everything its taken from all of us.... My nieces, my parents, me, my brother, and my kids.
And @peace.... U didnt sound confescending at all. I know i need to separate myself from all this drama that is my sister and it would be easy to do if my nieces werent involved.
I really appreciate everyones support. This is making me crazy

This breaks my heart and hits a little too close to home...... I just lost a friend on this last Tuesday due to heroin overdose......find what might help her most and get the help/treatment she needs. Those demons never go away you just have to find a way to keep them at bay. I'll keep your family in my prayers.

Huge hugs to @lostinwind and @luvlyssa. My biggest fear is losing my sister forever although in a way i feel like she is already dead. I feel hopeless bc there is nothing i can do and she wont even admit she does any type of drugs. Kind of hard to get someone help that says she doesnt do drugs.
At this point Ive decided i have to separate myself from her for the health and safety of my family. I plan on telling her i love her but im not going to sit back and watch this....do not contact me unless you are calling to say you are on your way to rehab. I will still be their for my nieces but will communicate visits through my parents.
@aloneoverseas The girls biodad lives abt 1 1/2 away. He is in worse shape than my sister if you can imagine. He is an IV drug user (admitted) and just recently found out he has contacted HepC and us constantly in out of the hospital w liver and kidney problems.... Hes not even 30 :(
Dont think i havent thought that foster or even adoption would be better for them but my mom would never go for it. She will begrudgingly raise them. I think my parents will cope w raising the girls better when they kick my sister out and dont have the stress that she brings

I'm an active member of a recovery message board that I think is fabulous.  There is a "Friends and Family" section that you might find helpful too, it works like this board (posting threads etc) and you can be as public or anonymous as you prefer.  Here's a link to the Friends and Family of Substance Abusers section.

@shadylane: we dont believe she ever kicked the pain pill habit. She has never admitted a problem. She had back surgery 4 yrs ago for scoliosis and justifies her taking them bc she is in chronic pain. She takes more than her dr prescribes and now her dr will only prescribe non-narcotics to her. She was in pain management but was kicked out for failing drug tests. She will take any pain pill she can get, oxy, percs, opana.... Whatever! She is deathly afraid of needles so i just cant see her shooting..., i really dont think she has progressed there...yet.
@tothemoonandback thanks for the link. Ill check it out

@lifeofchaos - I am so sorry you are dealing with this. My sister has put our family through a very similar situation and has all of her life.  She has 4 children, ages 22 down to 8 yo that she has abandoned on and off throughout the years.  Most of my family has written her off bc of the pain she inflicts on everyone around her.  My father raised her 22 yo, the bio dad raised her 17 yo and she has only seen him 3 times in his life, and her 12 and 8 yo are with their bio dad's parents and refuse visitation with her unless she is sober.  It hurts to no end to think of the pain she has inflicted on her children.  I have seen first hand what it has done to her DS22 and it makes me angry and there are days where I hate her.  But in the end, it is her life and the only power I have is to pray and hope she cleans up for good one day.

Only my younger sister and I speak to her (if you can call it that - we try and send her messages and most of the time we don't hear from her for months). I live far away from her so I don't have the added guilt of physically trying to save her. I just try to let her know periodically that I am here for her when/if she tries to get sober. 

@LifeofChaos, this is not a fun situation, and OMG Opana is horrible!! That drug is running through my town right now. It's been around for a little while, but has since become the prevalent drug responsible for overdoses. I've heard about a couple of dozen in a year's time. Heroin is just as bad. Anything that makes you chase the proverbial dragon is going to lead you nowhere fast.

I understand your position, and I think you're absolutely doing the right thing. Maybe if your sis hits rock bottom, she'll begin to see how bad her life is and what she's doing/done to her daughters. I hate to see kids caught in the middle of this. It's tragic to see such young kids who know too much about the bad stuff in the world. Big hugs to you. My sister is being a dumbass right now, too. So if you need to talk or rant or whatever, my inbox is always open!

Hey sweets. I don't have any wisdom to share. Just wanted to give you a hug and say how sorry I am you're in this position. Please don't lose faith and hope for a better day.

So sorry to hear this, @Lifeofchaos.  It's so hard to know that there's nothing you can do to help her, she has to do it on her own.  Such a helpless and frustrating feeling.  Thinking of you and praying for your family. 
>:D<