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3yo on level of a 5/6yo
  • irishlassirishlass
    Posts: 6,788Member
    I'm a little freaked out. I had the health visitor over yesterday, as my gp was concerned about benji (who has just turned 3) having aspergers.
    He is fantastic socially and I had no reason to think he was anywhere on the autistic spectrum, but my gp was concerned with his level of intellect and his ability to do 100piece puzzles and read and stuff.
    So the HV assessed him and she said there are hints of autism, the obsessive nature of his play and a few other things. But she's keen that its nothing to worry about. What she did say is how shockingly smart he is. He doesn't go to playgroup or anything and has been around adults a lot. I suggested this was why he's so clever? She said no, that his brain is well developed. He has started to whistle and read which children aren't supposed to be able to do until they are older.
    She said that right now he is on the level of a 5/6year old. I don't know how to take this news! She pointed out how he is almost treating adults around him like children. I hadn't noticed that before! I had concerns that he wasn't getting enough stimulation, but I didn't really know what else to teach him. He can count to 100, do a bit of adding, read almost fluently and we are working on writing now.
    I am really proud of him, and pleased to have such a clever boy! And I'm also so thankful that he isso healthy, but I'm not sure what to do with him!! I'm totally in unknown territory here.
    Does anyone else have a child like this? How did you deal with them? Also, what should I do with Benji!?
    "Be who you are and say what you feel. Because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter." - Dr. Seuss
  • ChristyJChristyJ
    Posts: 902Member
    I don't know if Benji is on the spectrum, but look up the characteristics of gifted children which can be very similar in some respects.  Talking down to adults is one of them.  Many gifted kids are not on the spectrum btw.  My kiddo appears to be at least mildly gifted.  Even he was not reading fluently a 3.  His reading kicked in around 4 or so but he knew his alphabet, a few words and counting by 2 1/2 - 3.
    Imperfect and proud of it.
  • sunnymommasunnymomma
    Posts: 2,258Member
    Wow thats awesome!!! I guess all you can do is soak his little well developed brain with knowledge. My first thought is maybe teach him a second language. Keep up the good work your already doing. Maybe get some work books for preK and kindergarten, thats what I did for my DD when she was his age. she was by no means on a 5/6 year old level but always 1 year ahead on the learning scale. (why the hell is this in bold now?!?!?!) We also read a lot, arts and crafts time with anything we had around the house, cooked, (and the bold is gone.) and lots of play time. 
    I am me, and I am loved
  • ChristyJChristyJ
    Posts: 902Member
    Also, he is still very young but may show some of this now but his interests are going to change with lightning speed, for one or two weeks he may be intensly interested in space and the next week not give a damn and want to know everything there is to know about plants.  A second language is always a great place to start and there are computer programs designed for kiddos I think at @BelleBefana knows the name of the brand, we are debating starting a third, but waiting to meet with his Gifted/Talented teacher to find our the best way to integrate to keep him from imploding.  Just keep letting him learn what he wants to and always do what you think is best, not necessarily what his educators think. And if something bores him, not the threat of death will change that, he will not do it.
    Imperfect and proud of it.
  • PurpleFlowersPurpleFlowers
    Posts: 5,784Member
    Wow, thats awesome! I agree, flood that brain with more knowledge :D
    Stay away from my chocolate and nobody gets hurt!

    I think I like who I am becoming...
  • ImWendyImWendy
    Posts: 6,527Member
    It annoys me that doctors are so quick to put a child on the spectrum! If he is developing too slowly, he must be on the spectrum. If he's developing too quickly he must be on the spectrum. Gah. I know it's because they younger they are when they get treatment, the better the chance of them coping later, but why do all kids need to be homogenized into a median?

    Anyway. Noah was a lot like Benji. He could do simple multiplication by 4, had a keen understanding of science and math, carried on clear and highly developed conversations with adults (including strangers) by 2. I do sometimes worry that he has... something... not normal about him but I think it's been more to do with the things he's had to go through. When he was little, I was a single mom and had loads of time to spend with just him. I taught him everything I could! (He didn't read, but he had ZERO interest in books) It's strange, though. He's super intelligent, but doesn't do very well in several subjects now. I think it was because so much came so easy to him the first couple of years in school because I'd already taught it to him and he didnt need to try. Now he's beyond that and doesn't really know how to study.
    deus ex machina
  • unforgivenunforgiven
    Posts: 12,715Confessional Manager
    It also frustrates me how quickly autism is thrown out there. Benji is a smart sweetheart. You're doing a great job. This is wonderful news. Don't freak out he'll be fine. XXX

    confessional-manager

    "What looks like torture is a time to rejoice
    What sounds like thunder is a comforting voice
    When what is beautiful looks broken and crushed
    And I say I don't know you
    But you say it's finished"
  • momofdbbmomofdbb
    Posts: 9,356Member
    (*) a gold star for your gold star ! Way to go kid and mom!!
    I think just about everyone has at least one autistic tendency , I know I have several ! My son is on the spectrum , it took 10 years for us to figure it out though.
    " Wibbly wobbly timey wimey ......." The Doctor
    " I'm a leafe on the wind..watch how I soar ." Wash :((
    " Oh the wall had it comming.' Sherlock Holmes
    yea I am geek !!
  • irishlassirishlass
    Posts: 6,788Member
    Thanks guys!! I totally scoffed at my gp when she mentioned autism. I'm not following that up at all. He does have all the traits listed on the mensa website for being gifted, but we don't really *do* that here. I don't know how to sortove link up with a gifted teacher or whatever. I feel like I'm doing him a disservice by sending him to nursery to play with dough and sand and toy cars all day!
    A second language is a fantastic idea! He already knows a little spanish from being in tenerife for so long, I will get on that :)
    We do a lot of activites through the day, he is a very keen cook and can tell me the exact recipe of how to bake a cake perfectly. I'm encouraging the cooking because I think its a fantastic skill to have and its a great way to express creativity. He's not so interested in drawing, but loves painting and joining the dots and where's wally books. And he does (but rarely) play with just toy animals and cars, but it always seems to be very complex! We spend most of our time doing puzzles because atm he is obsessed. Puzzles or writing.
    I plan on keeping up with whatever he is interested in and running with it totally.
    Today he learned that a tomato is a fruit, even though it seems like a vegetable lol he's weirdly into fruit atm and learning what food is healthy and what isn't. He refused. Pork sausages today at lunchtime and asked for pineapple instead!
    I wish I knew of some resources that I could use to get him around kids like him that he can interact with on his own level and make some proper friends. He is sooo patrionising to @tumbledown's little girl its almost painful to watch!
    He is also reeally bossy and I hope that he will meet someone who can kindof challenge that. I'm very set on sortove keeping him in his place in the house, but I think hes subconciously knows he's smarter than everyone so he treats them like they are idiots!!
    I know a martial arts class would be excellent for this but I can't afford it :( its soo annoying! I need some free resources lol

    Oh also, HV said to work on hand eye coordination, then I told her to play catch with him and he caught the ball every single time and threw it beautifully to her. We are getting a cricket bat from my dads to try different ways of coordination, but its hard to find more things that are stimulating, kwim?
    I'm glad I'm not alone in this wee boat though! :)
    "Be who you are and say what you feel. Because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter." - Dr. Seuss
  • irishlassirishlass
    Posts: 6,788Member
    Sorry for all the mistakes btw, I'm on my phone!
    "Be who you are and say what you feel. Because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter." - Dr. Seuss
  • CanadianMamaCanadianMama
    Posts: 9,655Administrator, Moderator
    Try this place:

    It's the National Association for Gifted Children. I think it would be a good place to start.

    My brother is gifted, and I can tell you, it comes with it's own set of challenges. Connecting with an organization that can help you nurture and support Benji could make all of the difference in the world! 


    community-manager


  • irishlassirishlass
    Posts: 6,788Member
    Thankyou so much @canadianmama!! I just checked it out a little on my phone, I'm aaall over that when I get home!
    "Be who you are and say what you feel. Because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter." - Dr. Seuss
  • [Deleted User]
    Posts: 7,022
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    well behaved women seldom make history
  • SammieSammie
    Posts: 7,345Administrator, Moderator
    I also think B is amazing!! That's awesome that he's such a precocious boy. :) You should be so proud!!

    I do want to throw one thing out there, and it's only from my personal experience inside the pre-K classroom, and it is meant with all my love and respect (ad I'm sure you know): You are doing the right thing by challenging him and boosting his confidence. That's perfect. You also said you make a conscious effort to keep him in his place, so to speak, at home. This is also very important along with enforcing respect and compassion for his peers. Being gifted and having the traits that go along with that can also cause him to be socially isolated and that's never good. It might be of his own doing, but it might be his peers distancing themselves if he is getting too bossy or easily upset with them. I'm NOT condemning, B. I adore him. It's just something to watch out for and be mindful of. I've seen many gifted kids thrive academically and socially. I've also watched the other side of the coin, where parents didn't heed the advice of instilling respect/compassion for peers, and then school can be a very lonely time for the child. It's sad really. No matter how smart a child is, they still need, want, desire (unless there are other issues present) to play. So, you're doing a great job!! I just wanted to throw that out there as you mentioned how he can become cross with Tumble's daughter. I definitely think it's something you can work through. :)

    They ARE quicker than ever to label children at earlier ages which means that in many cases the diagnosis is off or is altered as the child grows and develops. Unfortunately, for many social programs, there has to be a title/label of some kind in order for the child to qualify for any service. So, that could have been where the early interventionist was coming from. Also, Aspergers kids ARE highly intelligent. That doesn't mean every child who surpasses their standard benchmarks is on the spectrum though, so I'm glad to see you not getting wrapped up in that. You're a good mum! :)

    community-manager


  • battibatti
    Posts: 2,164Member
    @irishlass this is AWESOME, he is READING already OMG!! I'm teaching my 4yo how to read, he is picking it up pretty quick though! My DS hasn't been tested or 'diagnosed' or anything, but he is definitely gifted. I was afraid too about him being on the spectrum, he showed a few signs earlier on, with his obsessiveness (though I am that way, I assume he gets it from me) but he started talking around 9 months and could hold conversations before he was 2. (DS2 can do this too) he is OBSESSED with trains and volcanoes and chooses to watch educational videos about them as apposed to cartoons.
    Just make sure to keep him stimulated with new things so he doesn't get bored! DS4 will get bored and start acting out. My mom claims my brother was like this as a.kid (she still believes it but I just don't see it, my bro is a mooching turd... But anyways...) and he'd get bored if he wasn't challenged enough.
    Once he's in school, if he starts acting out or teachers say he's done fast with his work or whatever they have to say, encourage them to push and challenge him. Give him extra work if he needs it. You can also supplement at home with him if he seems to crave more knowledge.
    That's how my DSs are, they constantly want to learn and ask "why?" And "how?" About EVERYTHING.

    SMSM_s_5

  • battibatti
    Posts: 2,164Member
    Also, I second the workbooks idea. DS4 had a prek book he did about a year ago and I'm starting him on a kindergarten one now. And the second language is GREAT! mine only know a few words.of Spanish (they learned from Dora LOL!) and a few ASL signs (I took a class in HS so I know the basics) but I'm working on that for both of them!

    SMSM_s_5

  • BellaBefanaBellaBefana
    Posts: 8,719Member
    That's fantastic, @Irishlass, though it really bugs me that someone jumps directly to ASD when encountering a bright child.

    By today's definition, I would be autistic, as would my brother, as would many, many people I know.  It does a disservice to both bright children and those who truly have problems.

    You keep on encouraging him to learn and learn and learn!
    Bite me, cupcake!
  • FoulMouthedSailorFoulMouthedSailor
    Posts: 1,934Member
    B sounds like an awesome little man, but it also says a lot about his environment and his mum! Also if you start them at a young age with languages they absorb them so much quicker, same thing with playing a musical instruments. Dw speaks Hebrew fluently, and I speak Danish and Faroese, Sunshine can speak almost fluent Hebrew, and is fluent in Danish. It's also pretty fun to speak with them in a different language in public, it boost their self confidence, but it kills ours when she speaks Hebrew to me, and Danish to Dw. It took time to work on the grammatical differences but kids are sponges, so I'm trying to get her interested in playing some type of instrument while she's still young. I've also found kids are like dogs, if you don't keep them entertained and challenged they become destructive.
    You show the lights that stop me turn to stone, You shine it when I'm alone. And so I tell myself that I'll be strong
    And dreaming when they're gone.
  • CrashCrash
    Posts: 8,538Member
    I would definitely get B started on stuff that he won't necessarily learn in school. Second languages, yes. Have you thought about other extra-curricular stuff like 'learn to play' sports, swimming, music lessons (bright kids are quite often musically gifted)? I mean, it's lovely he's learning to read....but that's the kind of stuff he'll do in school. Don't doom him for school by teaching him everything.

     I was in the same boat as a youngster. I taught myself to read when I was 3. My mom got on board with all things scholastic, and I was a snotty rude brat in school because I had nothing else to do. The teacher would literally write the assignment on the board, and as she'd be finishing up, I'd already be done. They got quite tired of me putting my hand in the air and saying "I'm done!" 
    See ya in another life, sister!
  • BellaBefanaBellaBefana
    Posts: 8,719Member
    @Curious:  me too, it's a shame bright kids can be so disruptive (and get in trouble) because they're just plain bored!
    Bite me, cupcake!
  • irishlassirishlass
    Posts: 6,788Member
    @foulmouthedsailor - re;kids being like dogs? Abso-freakin-lutely! He will actively look for trouble if he is bored and challenge kids bigger than him which is so so frustrating for me! He hasnt done that since he was around 2 though, so im hoping it was more of a phase. He is very big too, so he appears intimidating anyway. 

    @curious I am SO keen to get him playing an instrument! My sister has promised to teach him to play the piano when his hands get a bit bigger! But unfortunately I am not musically gifted, and I need to get him some sort of a tutor, or in a class. Any advice on what instrument would be good? 
    Also he can already swim, he LOVES to swim and he usually starts with arm bands in a pool where he cant reach the ground, after about 10mins armbands are off. We go every week/every 2 weeks to the pool. 

    I WANT to have him in swimming lessons, martial arts class, and learning an instrument. I just cant afford any of it :( Im working on it though!

    @sammie you have picked up on the most challenging thing for me. Here's an example of an exchange that happened between B and tumbledown's dd (M);

    B; M, its time to get in the car now, are you ready? 
    M; blank stare
    B; M, are you ready, i said?? because its time to get in the car.
    M; blank stare
    B; M??????? Are you listening to me?? Talk to me!
    M; Yes. *gibberish*
    B; What did you say, M?? I dont understand? Talk real! 
    M More gibberish
    B; 'M!!!????!!! I dont understand you!!! 

    This conversation resulted in B shoving M because he was so frustrated and he stormed off. I then had to tell him off for shoving, but its so frustrating because he was trying SO hard and I kindof think its almost unfair that he always has to be the bigger person and have more patience. He has a hard road to walk :( It could be a HELL of a lot worse, but I wish he didnt have to deal with this. 

    "Be who you are and say what you feel. Because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter." - Dr. Seuss
  • BellaBefanaBellaBefana
    Posts: 8,719Member
    @Irishlass:  let him watch Little Einsteins...it's a very musical show, and he'll end up asking for some kind of instrument.  At 2 1/2, dd asked for violin lessons...it took a while to find a teacher who would take one that young, but when I did, she was amazed at how fast she progressed, in fact she was doing better than the 4-5 yo's.  I think it's important to let him guide you in the instrument, that way it makes it more fun for him.

    Sadly, I had to give up the lessons in Dec, because I just couldn't afford them for a while, but I do work with her so she doesn't get "rusty."

    As for languages, this is absolutely the best time to teach multi-languages.  Look into Muzzy for kids...it's along the same lines as Rosetta Stone, but specifically for children.
    Bite me, cupcake!
  • beambeam
    Posts: 1,083Member
    a e i o u - i love you (muzzy is great, didn't know they did other languages!!)

    my dorm mate at uni was super smart - was in her 3 year at uni and she had just turned 18... but the down side, she was severely bipolar... many of my super gifted friends were bipolar and had issues with that. My other "just gifted" but socially apt friends became surgeons and military spies (not a joke)....

    Glad my dd will automatically be bilingual (english/french) or trilingual with her spanish speaking aunt who lives near by.

    And to promote a site if guitar becomes the instrument of choice jamplay.com - loads cheaper than lessons with a teacher (very affordable indeed). Loads of interaction via chat/video classes... really good videos and loads of, well, everything one needs to learn and learn quickly (couldn't say enough good stuff about them).
    "Magic things are fond of deceptions.” ― Tom Robbins
  • irishlassirishlass
    Posts: 6,788Member
    Omg @beam you made my stomach churn! We have a lot of mental illness in the family. One of my sisters is bi-polar and another has schizo-effective disorder. :( I hope this isn't a sign!!
    "Be who you are and say what you feel. Because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter." - Dr. Seuss
  • beambeam
    Posts: 1,083Member
    @irishlass - oh my, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to scare you at all!! Was just echoing statements that the super smart can have other issues (autism, bipolar, social exclusion)... smart is cool... even super smart is good but in no way means the he'll have problems especially since you are aware of the social part and are actively trying to lead him in the right direction...

    (my friend had a supposed IQ of 210, was in all the gifted schools but may have been to young to really know what she wanted to do nor "mature" enough to handle being bipolar)
    "Magic things are fond of deceptions.” ― Tom Robbins
  • irishlassirishlass
    Posts: 6,788Member
    @beam don't worry, its not your fault! I just hadn't thought of it that way! Awareness is always good, thankyou for bringing it up!
    "Be who you are and say what you feel. Because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter." - Dr. Seuss
  • chaosmomchaosmom
    Posts: 3,834Member
    A friend of mine has a child like Benji. He is super smart, was reading at an extremely young age, socially inept, etc. She lets him decide what he wants to research at any given time & goes to the library & helps pick out books. He will read & google until his curiousity is satisfied then moves on to the next topic of interest (presidents, what the earth is made of, etc). When he finally started school, the work was too easy for him. In Kindergarten, the teacher got worksheets from a 3rd grade teacher to keep him occupied some days. But the most important & hardest lesson he learned was how to make friends, how to have a conversation with kids his age and just simply, how to play. He is now finished with 1st grade & is doing wonderfully in the social aspect. So, while Benji may just be playing with Playdoh at school, he will still be learning very important lessons and you can continue to challenge him intellectually at home. And yes, keep your eyes on him because smart + bored = mischief!
  • sparkles
    Posts: 6Member
    @irishlass - I'm in the UK and my DS (now 12) was identified as gifted when he'd just turned 4 and was still at pre-school. When he went up to primary school he was formally identified as "gifted" in English and Maths and "talented" in art. Since he hit secondary school he has also been identified as "talented" in sport. He was put on the gifted and talented register at primary school and as part of this received some of his lessons either with older children or as he got older with a specialist teacher who came in twice a week to "stretch" DS and a couple of others. This was a village school with less than 100 pupils so I was really impressed with how they tried to balance his academic needs with keeping him with his peers when possible for social reasons - they really worked hard at making sure his abilities didn't alienate him from those around him. He's now at a non fee paying grammar school and loving the challenge which has improved his behaviour no end.

    He was/is incredibly condescending to some of the other children and has always got on better with kids a couple of years older than him, even now I'm constantly having to remind him not to be rude and not to constantly correct other people (including adults!). That has been my biggest challenge because he is usually right when he corrects people but it's the way he does it, it's so rude and blunt!

    Right at the beginning, he had a really clear affinity for maths so from age 4 he started working on sudoku (sp?) puzzle books at his pre school's suggestion. Crosswords and word searches were a firm favourite from an early age as well, again at his pre school's suggestion. Those might be cheap and useful for keeping B's mind occupied and busy sometimes? All kids are different but it worked with mine lol.

    I know he's not quite old enough yet, but I always found Beavers, Cubs and Scouts useful with DS - lots of opportunities to do normal boy things that kept him grounded but still had the structure that he likes, he was constantly working on different badges and learning different things, think weekly subs are usually a couple of pounds and I always bought the uniforms second hand. 

    Good luck!
  • jezebeldelilahjezebeldelilah
    Posts: 337Member
    I have a 15 month old. She knows her alphabet and counts to ten. She also will write the letters a, b, and c. She is speaking complete sentences. I feel like I'm being taught by her at times. I am just going to keep filling her with knowledge and educating her. She is bored easily and gets frustrated of I do not understand what she is always saying. She will sit and "read" for up to an hour by herself. I guess all we can do is continue to challenge them. Maybe try some science based toys with him. The solar system is fun for kids as well as dinosaurs and plants. Goose luck! Mines so young I know I'm in for it!
  • jezebeldelilahjezebeldelilah
    Posts: 337Member
    Goose luck lol auto correct at its finest. Good luck!
  • irishlassirishlass
    Posts: 6,788Member
    @sparkles thats awesome! Thanks! I am in NI. How did you get him identified as gifted? He already does the correcting of adults, its so embarrassing!! 
    Wordsearches are a great idea! hes done a few before, very simple ones. I will look into that for sure! 
    I can get him into scouts as soon as he starts p1, so just another year and he is IN! 


    "Be who you are and say what you feel. Because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter." - Dr. Seuss
  • irishlassirishlass
    Posts: 6,788Member
    @chlomom at 15months!? wow!! most babies arent walking by then! lol!
    "Be who you are and say what you feel. Because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter." - Dr. Seuss
  • AnonUser30
    Posts: 1,916Guest
    My friends son was like that at 2,3, and 4. Suddenly at about 4.5 he stopped speaking, and lost all verbal reasoning. He is now 13 and severely autistic, with little hope of integrating into society. It is scary when your child deviates from the bell curve, and I think you need to be careful. Also, mental illness (especially bi-polar) has a clear genetic connection.

    But, if I were you I'd enjoy it now - and put him in with children his own age. He is learning by "playing with sand" and such, because he is learning social skills. And, if he is correcting adults it sounds like he may need it! One sign of autism is preferring to interact with adults instead of children. It is important that he has that CHANCE. Pre-school isn't all about academics, it's about learning how to interact in your own world.
  • sparkles
    Posts: 6Member
    @irishlass my youngest DS was born at 31 weeks and had a few problems at first, because of that I always had health visitors, support workers and paediatricians (sp?) involved and part of that was coming out and working with the family as a whole; although the support was mainly aimed at youngest DS their involvement with the family as a whole is what helped get oldest DS identified so quickly. As soon as eldest DS started school it was pretty easy to get the assessments done because my support workers had told me who to approach at the school and what information to give them. 

    The school SENCO (Special Educational Needs Co-Ordinator) was great, set up an IEP (Individual Education Plan) to help push him and just generally was really helpful. I know once they get to school age there is an automatic entitlement to additional support, I think the same applies at age 3 as part of the early years framework but not entirely sure on that or whether it's the same in NI (I'm in Lincolnshire, England). 

    If you look here it gives you the basics and then follow the links to your local council they should be able to tell you a bit more about your local provisions: www.direct.gov.uk/en/parents/schoolslearninganddevelopment/examstestsandthecurriculum/dg_10037625

    Does B go to a playgroup or pre school? I know here in Lincolnshire once they reach the age where they are entitled to a free early years place there is a pre school SENCO who covers the local area - because eldest DS was not far off school age I didn't go down that route, just waited until he started school, but with youngest DS the pre school SENCO was invaluable and he had a formal IEP for his speech and fine motor skills issues from age 3 upwards which then formed part of his handover file when he started school. If nothing else, it's worth having the discussion on file so that as soon as B starts school it's picked up and any boredom/behaviour issues are nipped in the bud. Like I say, don't know if it's exactly the same where you are but I'd imagine there's something similar? Your health visitor would probably be able to point you in the right direction as well.

    One activity I forgot to mention - eldest DS loved card games from a very early age, patience, clock patience, UNO you name it he played it and loved it, something about the orderliness of those games just clicked with him! And scrabble... I DETEST that game, especially now he can beat me at it lol




  • irishlassirishlass
    Posts: 6,788Member
    @LivinTheDream absolutely! I plan on keeping him in nursery. There's no doubt about that. I'm certain the teacher will pick up on him and his wee ways. She's a fantastic teacher. 
    Also, he has been pretty well tested for autism now. I don't have any concerns about that. In regards to mental illness, well, there's nothing I can do about that. I know what to look for, and right now he doesn't display ANY of the behaviours that my sisters did at his age. And the fact that I know what to look out for can only be good!
    I feel so sorry for your friend, that must have been completely terrifying!

    He prefers to hang out with children, but older children that can 'get' him and carry a conversation. He is an extremely social being. When we went for the trial day at nursery, he was following around one particular boy, Jack! And the two boys went to play on one outdoor toy and Benji was saying 'lets go together! You can go first jack, its your turn!' Jack ignored him and went to walk away, so benji said 'okay, ill have a turn then' and then jack came back and benji got down and said 'its your turn jack, you go first!'. Jack didnt talk to him once. Benji tried repeatedly to talk to him. At this age though, parallel play is still very much prevalent. Benji's past that now and so its frustrating to interact with typical 3/4yos. 

    Pre-school here is not about academics at all! Its all about play! We will probably keep up a little bit of academic play at home. He loves learning about letters and numbers! We have done a few work books, im going to see about getting more.
    "Be who you are and say what you feel. Because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter." - Dr. Seuss
  • irishlassirishlass
    Posts: 6,788Member
    @sparkles thankyou SO much for the info!! Benji is starting his pre-school year in September, but he will be one of the youngest in the year because he has a May birthday. I think I will ask at the GP's the next time Im there, and give the HV another call if she cant help, and will probably have a chat with the nursery teacher. 

    We LOVE card games! Happy Families is excellent, and memory games with cards are pretty big atm. 
    "Be who you are and say what you feel. Because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter." - Dr. Seuss
  • etherieletheriel
    Posts: 736Member

    Have you tried getting him into games of strategy? My DS10 sounds a lot like your son at that age. He was extremely gifted in math and logic. I started playing strategy games with him around age 3. I never "let" him win although I did occasionally ask him what he thought would have happened if he'd made this move instead of that one, etc. I started with tic-tac-toe and Connect 4 and moved onto checkers pretty quickly. By age 4 he was regularly winning games against most adults. He's now into backgammon and the occasional Monopoly game. I just wish I knew how to play chess so I could teach him. I think my DS would love it.

    Also, since your son's already reading, I second a previous suggestion for playing Scrabble. Since he's counting as well, Uno and battle/war are also good and Skip-Bo will be good in a couple of years. Possibly dominoes too.

    If I'm not supposed to do it, how come I can?
  • ButterflyButterfly
    Posts: 80Member

    @CanadianMama is right - Connecting with a group, getting their newsletters, and reading like crazy will help you a lot.  Gifted children do come with a very unique set of challenges, and they can be exhausted.  Barbara Klein's "Raising Gifted Children" is a good read, as is "Living with Intensity".  Our DS5 needs to be constantly challenged, so we find educational games online, and we buy building toys for him to manipulate.  We have memberships at the science museum and children's museum as well.

    Our biggest challenge these days is his attitude towards adults, in particular his dad and me.  No matter how often we remind him that it is we who are in charge, he continues to balk at authority.  When he wants to do what he wants to do, it always turns into a battle.  Just the other day I said, "D, you're five-and-a-half years old, and have you ever gotten your way when you started arguing with me?"  "No," he replied.  "Then why do you persist???"  And that's where our issue lays.  Everything is an argument--of which he has never one a single one--and he's exhausting me.

    Social skills could be an issue, so it's best to get him involved with kids, being a kid himself (playing with sand and clay) and learning how to interact effectively with his peers.  That was one of our concerns with school -- how will he interact with the other children (who may not understand his obsession with sinkholes, or the Plutoids, or the Transit of Venus or...), how will he interact with teachers who want him to practice his numbers to 5, and how will he manage to not hate school?  He has interacted with the other students and learned appropriate social skills, but he hasn't befriended any.  We had him put in a class that is known for differentiated instruction (teaching at different levels to challenge all students).  We've supplemented his classroom learning with a tutor who comes to the house twice a week; and he'll be going to 'remedial' reading and math classes this summer in a neighbouring school district for 4 weeks.  The class is meant for children entering 2nd through 4th grade, so he's there with special permission.

    Keep him engaged, feed his hunger for the answer to "Why? How?", get lots of sleep, and find a network online.  You're not alone in this, but you've going to have to 'educate' his educators on what makes him tick.  That way he'll reach his full potential, and enjoy himself in school.

    And so it goes with Gifted boys (at least in our house). 

  • irishlassirishlass
    Posts: 6,788Member
    Thankyou so much @butterfly! I dread when he starts real school. I remember a lot of talk about number 1-10 and I hated going because I was bored and elmo and my own books were more interesting at home!
    I've got some work to do :/
    "Be who you are and say what you feel. Because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter." - Dr. Seuss
  • DaBOMB
    Posts: 279Member
    I wouldn't put too much stock in anything at that age. I'm sure he's smart but don't forget to keep him down to earth. Otherwise he'll be a terror. Keep him interested and challenged but maybe more time with his peers is a good idea?
  • irishlassirishlass
    Posts: 6,788Member
    @dabomb yeah that's really good advice. I haven't told him anything, and I won't! I'm just going to let him do his thing and provide him with extra challenges so he doesn't get bored and become a terror!
    "Be who you are and say what you feel. Because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter." - Dr. Seuss
  • AnonUser28
    Posts: 2,083Guest
    I was a child like this... I put alot of energy into teaching things to my baby brother and sister. I read a ton of books, and started to learn math. Try getting him some simple basic math workbooks and see how he does with that. You could also try a computer game that has math or logic problems. I also had a box of riddles... it was a little box with printed cards that each had a different logic problem. Whenever I would get bored, or finish my classwork early, I would work on one of those. Make sure you are giving him books that challenge his reading level as well. I started reading at three, and I remember being in kindergarten and the teacher sending me up to the sixth grade room to get books to read (small school, no library). A sport is also a good idea, it gives him a place to interact with his peers where it is not about who is more clever, it's a whole different skill set. It may help him show empathy for the other children if he is faced with an activity where he needs help from his peers. I also started music lessons quite young, although I never really stuck with one instrument. I can play four or five, but none of them incredibly well... maybe you have a friend who would be willing to tutor him, just to start him off on the basics? I started on guitar, but you could even just try one of those little recorders.

    As far as autism goes, I wouldn't really worry about it too much. I was a very precocious speaker, an early reader, and doing multiplication and division by the time I started school, and never really had many social issues. My daughter is on the spectrum, and although she does really well with things like patterns and math, her problems are obvious. Just make sure he stays social, hopefully his patience will develop.
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