Anyhow, I have always been the good big sister.  As my sister has gotten older and married and had her first child she has turned into a prim-donna urban mom.  She fancies her new house, state of the art appliances, three brand new cars and pities anyone who rents or drives something that doesn’t require a loan.  So since she has been turning this prima-donna self righteous leaf she has been harder and harder to get along with.  It seems everything revolves around her and her 3 year old and if anyone tries to pluck her rose colored glass off she breaks down and loses it.  She gets really upset or starts to cry.  Here are some events that have occurred over the past 4 years or so:

MY DIVORCE: Okay, so this actually happened 7 years ago but she did nothing to help me out.  I went to her house once in tears after I found out my ex was cheating.  She didn’t invite me in and we sat on her porch while I cried.  The whole time I felt like I was putting her out and taking up her time.  She ushered me away as soon as possible. 

I GOT RAN OVER BY A TRUCK: My friend and I were crossing the street one night when a 19 year old ran over the both of us.  I broke my nose in 7 different places, tore muscle in my knee and was so swelled up I couldn’t see right for over a week.  I had to take 3 weeks off of work and go to physical therapy for months.  My (then boyfriend) had to help as much as possible while still working and my kids were 6 and 9 at the time.  She didn’t come to visit me once and she didn’t call me once.

MOTHERS DAY: For the past 3 years (yes, since her son was born) – I have called her asking if we can get together with our mom for lunch and maybe a mani or pedi.  Each year she throws a fit and asks why cant mothers day just be about her since she is a mom now.  She gets mad and even said to me one year “I don’t see why we have to visit mom.”

CHRISTMAS: Christmas has been held at her house for the past 5 years.  The first year her son was born we had it at her house since her kid was only about 6 months old.  Then the year after that (and the year after that) I brought up perhaps hosting at my place.  She got very upset saying that her son needs his own bed for naps and she doesn’t want to have to drive back home with all the gifts in the car.  (But apparently it’s OK for me to drive back home with all the gifts for TWO kids in my car).  My other thought for Christmas at my house was that I am centerally located and it’s at least a 45 minute cut off my grandfathers commute time which she didn’t seem to care about. I finally won last year since her child was three but it was like pulling teeth.  My dad had to actually talk to her and basically tell her to get over it and the whole family would like a different venue.

BIRTHDAYS AND ANNIVERSARIES: My husband and I scheduled our anniversary trip for our first year about 4 months before any mention of a birthday party for her son.  We had everything paid for and booked.  About two weeks before we left she decided to throw the birthday party that exact same weekend and got upset with us when we wouldn’t cancel our trip to go to party.

THE FINAL STRAW – CRUSHING MY DAUGHTER: My daughter is 9.  She auditioned for a part in a community theatre play and landed it on her first try!  She rehearsed for MONTHS with each rehearsal being 4 – 6 hours.  The play was a real play and the cast included kids 6 up to adults as old at 68.  The tickets sold for almost $20.00 a piece and were in a real theatre.  My DD wanted her aunt to go so badly!  There were 8 different show times that she could have gone to.  She refused.  I kept asking her nicely to go see her niece.  My mom asked her nicely to go see her niece.  She wouldn’t.  My DD had 30 other people go – friends, family (even divorced aunts and uncles came) – my x and his whole family came, her baby sitter and cheer coach and dance teacher went but her aunt never showed up.  She was crushed.

After that happened I decided it wasn’t healthy to associate with her anymore.  I am sick of being the “big sister who is better then that and get’s over everything”.  I’ve been doing it to long.  I deleted her from face book and have cut her off.  I haven’t talked to her since Christmas and I really don’t want to.

She recently suffered a miscarriage.  She told my mother she was upset because I never called her to check on her.  I do feel bad about that but then I re-run through everything that she has done and the way that she has behaved and I don’t want to go back into that toxic relationship.  In all honesty if my baby sister would call me and say “sorry” for being so selfish towards everyone and tell me she needs me I’d be there in a second.  But I can’t bring myself to just “get over it” – yet again to make family peace.

What do you all think?  Sorry this was so stinking long.