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Wtf??? I might need a new sitter.
  • OnmylastnerveOnmylastnerve
    Posts: 1,648Member
    So I texted my sitter today to see how my monster is doing and of course she had a tough day because her nap was cut short but she usually does pretty well. Once I got home I got the full story. It seemed like my dd was in time out most of the time. Wtf??? Idk how to explain it but if I put dd in time out she is generally in the same room or in view of me. This girl is putting dd in her bedroom by herself and shuts the door. Ummm she is 19 months, she never has had that happen of course she is going to freak out. Then you do it like 10x's???? Then we are talking about her eating. I am a big believer of when she is hungry she will eat. She eats pretty well for a toddler. I refuse to force her to eat. So she is telling me that she is trying to get my dd to take a "last bite" and my dd starts a tantrum an goes in time out because she wouldn't take a bite...... Once again wtf??? So I explain I don't force food on my dd it's not worth the fight. She then tells me "I just give up" ummm no I would rather she decide when she is full. Kids can choose what goes in and what comes out. I'd rather focus on her manners. I'd rather take the time and make sure she listens and behaves. There is just so much more. What can I do? What should I do?? I need hugs. Am I over reacting?
    not my chair, not my problem
  • SammieSammie
    Posts: 7,277Administrator, Moderator
    Oh no, mama. You're not overreacting at ALL. It is definitely time for a new sitter. Maybe I'm the one who overreacts, but my blood is just boiling right now!! How dare her think it is okay to put your child in an isolated timeout at 19 months especially without asking YOU first!!! Then to put her in timeout because she wouldn't continue eating?? This is absurd. Do you know this woman personally? I'm actually concerned with how well she is able to hold her temper when you're not around, if she's willing to admit to putting your child in timeout that many times like it is normal. It's not. Poor baby girl. I wouldn't let my child spend another minute with her alone. Period. I'm so sorry!!! 

    community-manager


  • Ashdawn684Ashdawn684
    Posts: 850Member
    You are definately NOT overreacting! These are your convictions as a mother, and if this setter doesnt agree than you do need to find a new one.  I totally agree with your convictions, exspecially the fact that they will choose when they are hungry.  I never could convence MIL of that, but that is beside the point.  If you are not happy with the setter, start looking for a new one and make sure they know upfront what you expect of them when handling your child.  You are the mom and you want what is best.  Super hugs :)
    ~Live life to the fullest, or die trying~
  • Charlotte_SometimesCharlotte_Sometimes
    Posts: 1,756Member
    That's outrageous and you are not overreacting at all!  How old is this sitter?  Does she have kids of her own?

    Time out is supposed to be what, a minute for each year of their age?  She's a baby still!  I don't even remember using time out with my kids at that age, not until age 2 I'm sure but even then they were to sit in a chair with me right there.  I am with @Sammie, this makes my blood boil and you need someone new ASAP, someone who has a clue about little kids and child development and not making an issue over food! 

    She sounds young and clueless and I would not trust her with my child.  I did a lot of babysitting when I was, honestly, too young to be doing it and I look back now and think wow, I would not have hired me! 

    If I were you I'd try and find a SAHM who has experience with kids and wants to make some money babysitting. 
    "But a lesson must be lived
    In order to be learned"

    Ani DiFranco, Manhole
  • OnmylastnerveOnmylastnerve
    Posts: 1,648Member
    @sammie My heart is breaking for dd, we just moved and her mommie just started working. Of course she is going to be crabby. But the reaction to her is what is bothering me.
    @ashdawn684 when I hired her months ago for date nights I told her I just want someone who is good to her. All the other stuff can fall into place. Now I guess I need to be more specific.
    @charolette_sometimes she is about my age (late twenties) she has no kids but watches her 1yo niece and some other kids. I do use time out, my pediatrician recommended it when she was 1 year old to help her calm down, not so much as a punishment. It works wonders for us but we use the minute rule and we never isolate her. I can't imagine what she has been going through. With all that has been going on.

    not my chair, not my problem
  • Charlotte_SometimesCharlotte_Sometimes
    Posts: 1,756Member
    Onmylastnerve said:

    @sammie My heart is breaking for dd, we just moved and her mommie just started working. Of course she is going to be crabby. But the reaction to her is what is bothering me.
    @ashdawn684 when I hired her months ago for date nights I told her I just want someone who is good to her. All the other stuff can fall into place. Now I guess I need to be more specific.
    @charolette_sometimes she is about my age (late twenties) she has no kids but watches her 1yo niece and some other kids. I do use time out, my pediatrician recommended it when she was 1 year old to help her calm down, not so much as a punishment. It works wonders for us but we use the minute rule and we never isolate her. I can't imagine what she has been going through. With all that has been going on.



    I'm sorry.   A lot of people lack common sense when it comes to dealing with kids and she sounds like one of them.   I'd watch your little one if we lived close.. I love that age and my kids are all big now! 

    I wasn't saying you shouldn't use time-out, just saying that it needs to be used in an age appropriate way and that's not what the sitter was doing.   
    "But a lesson must be lived
    In order to be learned"

    Ani DiFranco, Manhole
  • Peace
    Posts: 2,083Member
    @onmylastnerve, I agree with you & the ladies..
    She's way out of line. And that she didn't apologize when you told her how you handled mealtime, but made the comment about you giving up? What?
    One last bite? Never got how one bite was going to make or break a child nutritionally.
    It's a control move.
    Sounds like the entire day was a battle of the wills. On purpose.
    And this sitter has nerve giving you "advice" when she's leaving a toddler alone in a room?!

    How does your dd react when this woman walks in the door?
  • OnmylastnerveOnmylastnerve
    Posts: 1,648Member
    @peace that was what I thinking about the control. In our conversation last night she said "I decide when dinner is over" ummm no you don't, Chloe does. I could see if dd was under weight and trying to get her to eat more but I should be telling her Chloe's need not the other way around.
    In the beginning of her watching dd, she loved her never cried when leaving her. Now she seems like she is holding on to us and not wanting us to leave. I don't know if that is because I started working or because she doesn't like to be there.
    not my chair, not my problem
  • beachmommybeachmommy
    Posts: 2,516Member

    This makes me sick to my stomach.  I just left my 4.5 mo old with a new sitter bc the regular one needed the day off. 

    I have the same philophy when it comes to eating - he will eat however much he wants whenever he is hungry.  It is ridiculous to try and force feed a child that young.  At 19 months she is still learning her eating process!

    As far as the time outs in her room, if any sitter left my baby alone out of sight for even 5 minutes I would go ballistic.  Even when my DS naps I want her to carry the monitor so she can respond as soon as he wakes.  It breaks my heart that your sitter would think it is acceptable to leave your DD alone and upset in her room for that long. 

    Fire her ass.  Don't even think twice about it.  If she is getting frustrated over the simple act of feeding a baby, she won't be able to deal with the bigger stuff as your DD gets older.

    Big, HUGE, hugs momma.

    My beach is still Sandy....
  • SavingGraceSavingGrace
    Posts: 79Member
    This makes me sick! How dare someone treat my niece like that, I hope I never meet her! She had my number.. Why didn't she call me if she couldn't handle a 16month old(insert laughing)!!!! She should be reported to the babysitting site! Bring her over tonight and this auntie will watch her buggy! Oh and make sure you bring her pappy.. She CAN have it at her auntie's house! Love you Amie!
  • OnmylastnerveOnmylastnerve
    Posts: 1,648Member
    @savinggrace I'm going to take you up on that offer. I'm over here freaking out cause I don't want to call in when I just started.
    not my chair, not my problem
  • Thefinder
    Posts: 1,633Member
    big hugs omln You are so right, that was not and is not okay.  This is not an over reaction, you are her mum, it's your job.
  • ChibikoChibiko
    Posts: 2,685Member
    Hey @onmylastnerve I would be looking for a different sitter. Personally I want someone with the same philosophies as me from the get go. It gives the kids the consistency they crave.
    U R who U think U R

    "You were the truth I would rather lose than to have never lain beside at all"
  • 456Imamom
    Posts: 538Member
    @Onmylastnerve  >:D< You are not overreacting! She's still a baby! follow your gut and good luck finding a new sitter >:D<
  • gamommiegamommie
    Posts: 348Member
    Soo not over reacting. It's so hard when our kids can't talk and tell us what's going on. Sending you hugs to help you through things.
  • [Deleted User]
    Posts: 7,022
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
    well behaved women seldom make history
  • seamstressJ
    Posts: 724Member
    When I babysit, I do things the momma's way, whether it's the same way I would handle things with my own kids or not. You would think that would be an unspoken rule of babysitting, but apparently it's not! Haha
  • SammieSammie
    Posts: 7,277Administrator, Moderator
    How'd today go? @onmylastnerve Thinking of you!

    community-manager


  • AnonUser35
    Posts: 543Guest
    Yeah, not overreacting at all! Trust your instincts as a mom. If you don't feel good leaving your child with her after this, then find a new sitter. Hugs!!
  • guerrillamomguerrillamom
    Posts: 65Member
    Wow.  I would have lost my shit.  I know a good sitter is hard to find, but I say fire her.  
  • OnmylastnerveOnmylastnerve
    Posts: 1,648Member
    Today went awesome, I hired a new sitter @savinggrace :D is now going to watch my
    Monster. I haven't fired the old one yet but I did tell her I didn't need her today. I went to work today and just felt so much relief and knew dd was is great hands!
    Thank you ladies for all your support! I was so emotional yesterday, I thought about quitting cause I felt so bad that I left dd with this freak.
    not my chair, not my problem
  • Rawrchu
    Posts: 516Member
    I just want to be one more SM that says you are NOT over-reacting.   >:D<
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