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"Best Of" Scary Mommy Confessions [Week of 6-17-12]
  • The_Scaries
    Posts: 20Member
    Hi Scaries! Every Monday, your community managers will bring to you their "Best Of" selections from that week's confessions. Go here and confess and you may see your confession featured next week!  

    192820: 2 weeks ago, you didn't even know a kitchen cabinet could be moved. Today, you are yanking it out & trying to install a new dishwasher. Before you leave for work at 11pm. 1 step at a time, Bob Vila.

    193751: I knew I was a mom when my husband was trying to fish a toy out of the toilet and I heard myself say, "Just reach in and grab it. It's only pee."

    193621: I guess it's time to shave my legs; my 2 y/o is petting them and saying, "Nice," like I'm a cat..

    95392: I hit a bird with my car today. DD in the back seat. I cried. But DD said don't worry "He looked suicidal and he mouthed 'tell my story'" before he hit the windscreen.

    193046: My husband wears a c-pap to sleep. I woke him up in a very happy way last night. It was like blowing Darth Vader.

    94467: Thought the little tickly sensation on my shoulder was my cat. Then I my kitty across the room. I look over to see a huge hairy spider walking on the my arm. Cue girly screaming and 'spider dance' to get it off get it off.

    193760: Although I didn't need it, I bought a dress on clearance yesterday just because it makes my boobs look HUGE. And I will be wearing it to buy groceries, and get gas, and do dishes...

    193637: Quit fake-coughing you little cherry-tylenol junkie!

    193211: OMG I hate my period. It looks like a fucking serial killer lives in my toilet every time I go to the bathroom.

    194391: I put my DH wedding album from his 1st marriage in the trash when he was out of town. I'll just suggest it may have been lost during the move if he ever asks me about it.


  • OpheliaOphelia
    Posts: 3,338Member
    The bird one made me laugh so loud I woke Ry up.
    Nothing left to do but smile, smile, smile.. -Grateful Dead<3
  • LesboMomLesboMom
    Posts: 2,850Confessional Manager
    I love the cherry tylenol junkie 

    #193211 could have been me - it wasn't - but I did look twice at it and wonder if I had posted that in a fit of rage one morning 

    confessional-manager

    Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow. -- Helen Keller
  • jezebeldelilahjezebeldelilah
    Posts: 337Member
    The bird one is ridunkulously funny. There are some funny sm.
  • FoulMouthedSailorFoulMouthedSailor
    Posts: 1,899Member
    The bird one was my wife, and my very imaginative and morbid six year old. She does confessions a lot, but said it was funny it made the best of.
    You show the lights that stop me turn to stone, You shine it when I'm alone. And so I tell myself that I'll be strong
    And dreaming when they're gone.
  • OpheliaOphelia
    Posts: 3,338Member
    Sunshine is hilarious @foulmouthedsailor.
    Nothing left to do but smile, smile, smile.. -Grateful Dead<3
  • CanadianMamaCanadianMama
    Posts: 9,612Administrator, Moderator
    @FoulMouthedSailor I laughed so hard when I read that one!!! Sunshine is so smart, and funny! 

    community-manager


  • SammieSammie
    Posts: 7,279Administrator, Moderator
    193760. I love this!! I did the same thing a few weeks ago. Bought a few Summer dresses with bold colors and patterns. They are adorable and I rock them all the time to all of our major outings...like the grocery store. ;) I totally understand!!

    community-manager


  • Twins911Twins911
    Posts: 212Member
    95392: I hit a bird with my car today. DD in the back seat. I cried. But DD said don't worry "He looked suicidal and he mouthed 'tell my story'" before he hit the windscreen.

    totally loved it… I have to share it with Facebook friends…
    I couldn't stop laughing
    =)) =))
  • FoulMouthedSailorFoulMouthedSailor
    Posts: 1,899Member
    @Ophelia @CanadianMama the off the wall shit she says never ceases to brighten my day.
    You show the lights that stop me turn to stone, You shine it when I'm alone. And so I tell myself that I'll be strong
    And dreaming when they're gone.
  • Ashdawn684Ashdawn684
    Posts: 850Member
    I love these I cant wait for new ones every week!
    ~Live life to the fullest, or die trying~
  • Lakegirl34
    Posts: 1,773Member
    So glad they are back!
  • GisleyandHank
    Posts: 300Member
    I made best-of's again! My daughter is the junkie. She told me today that she loves the smell of super glue.
  • Luvlyssa
    Posts: 2,961Member
    rofl.... love this. my favorite was the kitty legs one... lol I feel that way all the time and I don't have a toddler!
    Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming. What do we do? We swim, swim.
  • BellaBefanaBellaBefana
    Posts: 8,215Member
    as heartbreaking as the hugs were this week is a as funny as these were...and the cherry tylenol junkie sounds just like dd!  "mommy I have a tummy ache, I neeeeeed my tummy medicine."  "mommy my head hurts, I need medicine."  God, I've created a medicine monster!
    Bite me, cupcake!
  • Katescrazymom
    Posts: 1,849Member
    My junkie is hooked on Tylonal melts.  They're some sort of fruit flaver and she looooooves them! 
  • SuperHeroMama
    Posts: 33Member

    my ds2 is a band-aid junkie lol and when ever he gets into trouble he brings up the famous

    "oh mommy my boo boo hurts i need a band-aid" (the "boo boo" is a month old now)







    0

  • sidsmommy3sidsmommy3
    Posts: 2,203Member
    Whoops....I am the one with the serial killer in my toilet.  Still really excited to have made the list!   >:)
    Mary :-)

    Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain.
  • AutumnAutumn
    Posts: 898Member

    In defense of my hairy legs.. I'd just shaved them 2 days before, so they really weren't that bad!  Bubby is just used to them being smooth, I guess.

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