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Am I the only mom that works 8-5?
  • Lakegirl34
    Posts: 1,740Member
    I'm not sure where this belongs as far as categories.
    And I'm not here for a SAHM vs WOHM debate.
    I'm just feeling overwhelmed by my work schedule. I never feel like I have enough time with my toddler, my husband, my extended family/friends or myself. Most of my friends and family work part time or flex schedules so they don't really get the 8-5 Monday -Friday, i only have two days off dynamic that I experience. I'm also starting my own business part time two nights a week in hopes eventually I'll be able to get flexibility in my schedule. Right now that just makes everything harder. I can't even imagine what it feels like to be bored or to have downtime.
    So how do other 8-5/5 day a week working moms manage and juggle time and family?
  • PurpleFlowersPurpleFlowers
    Posts: 5,621Member
    I work 9-6 Monday thru Saturday. It sucks!!! Although my kids are older, I still wish I could work only part time. I missed my youngests 5th grade graduation. I felt like a tool :(
    Stay away from my chocolate and nobody gets hurt!

    I think I like who I am becoming...
  • squishsquish
    Posts: 734Member
    I work 830 to 530 one week and 815 to 530 on the second week of my pay period so that I can have pay Fridays off. I get home around 6 if there is no traffic and my DS starts his bedtime routine at 8. It's like we have dinner and boom, bedtime. That's why I decided to flex my schedule and that one day goes really far for me.

    I barely feel like I have time to do much else but I'm of the school of thought that it will get done one day. I do chores on the weekends but I dont worry if things don't get down. I also have a very helpful Dh who is more anal than I am and will eventually do the chores first.
  • Lakegirl34
    Posts: 1,740Member
    I hate that for you and 6 days a week is even tougher to try and squish in family time and chores >:D<
  • Lakegirl34
    Posts: 1,740Member
    When I wrote "squish" I thought isn't there a SM with that name as I posted and there you were. I feel the same way w dinner then bath and bed. I try to do chores after his bedtime so I can more time on weekends, and I'm learning to let go, but I'm so far behind on things like pictures downloaded and organized, papers everywhere, etc that if I think about it too much I feel sick. My husband helps out and I know I'm lucky for that with grocery and cooking especially.
  • meandmy243meandmy243
    Posts: 6,306Member
    I work 8:30-5.... It sucks...
    mom of wild children
    going to the chapel 7/5/2014
  • squishsquish
    Posts: 734Member
    @lakegirl that's exactly how I feel. I have all of these papers that need to be put away but they are at least in a neat pile in the kitchen. My weekends are for grocery shopping and laundry. At least my little buddy knows how to load the washer so it's mommy son bonding.
  • AnonUser28
    Posts: 2,083Guest
    I am a school mommy. Classes all day and then homework in the evenings. Cleaning pretty much never. Small pickups and big cleaning every weekend. Gets lonesome for sure, and I feel bad having to shoo DD away in order to study after I haven't seen her all day.
  • katz_meowkatz_meow
    Posts: 4,232Member
    I work 8-5 also, well that's what I'm supposed to work, but I'm the manager and frequently start earlier and stay later. It does suck. Weekends are spent running errands and cleaning and I feel like we never spend time as a family doing anything fun.
    Judgement comes in many forms but never scarce or shy
  • TurthipoTurthipo
    Posts: 340Member
    Im 6:00-2:30 or 7:00-3:30 some days.
    It blows, I've never found a balance... ((Hugs))
  • BassmomBassmom
    Posts: 245Member
    I work 8-4:30, have been for 6.5 years. I really wish i could work part time so i could spend more time with the family. But cant afford it. It does suck. I too have piles of papers in no real order, my house never feels clean, always looks messy/cluttered. When i do laundry half the time the clean clothes sit for days before i fold and put away. I do all the cooking and most of the cleaning too so yeah theres always alot that doesnt get done. I have to stop myself sometimes and remember that chores will wait, i need to just chill out with my ds!
  • PigeonPigeon
    Posts: 681Guest
    I'm in the same boat. It sucks donkey balls, esp when on the weekends you want to catch up on missed time but have to catch up on cleaning, errands etc instead.
  • ChristyJChristyJ
    Posts: 880Member
    I work 8:00 too 4:30 and DH works a lot in the evenings.  As soon as I pick kiddo up from school, help with homework, have dinner, have reading time, there is about 30 minutes of downtime.  As soon as I get him in bed, husband gets home.  I never, never have alone time and weekends are swim lessons, running errands and chores.  My husband is only guaranteed off on Sundays and that is supposed to be family day but we are usually so worn out it is hang around and watch tv/movies. 
    Imperfect and proud of it.
  • jennylynn83jennylynn83
    Posts: 36Member
    I am at home at the moment but I was working 8-5 for months and my hubby is out of town for work, so it was all up to me.  I had a lot of trouble managing.   But I did preplan meals and cleaning so it allowed me time for the kids and myself.  I also tried not to worry about big cleaning or other things until the weekend when I could take appropriate time for it.  Also, once in a while, I found just ordering pizza and taking a relax night was in order.
  • MommyLovesMiles
    Posts: 34Member
    8:30-5 or 5:30. And I do 99% of the cooking, cleaning and taking care of our 8.5 month old DS. I don't have time for myself, ever. My house is never the way I would like it to be, but most of the time I don't have the time or energy to do much about it.
  • Lakegirl34
    Posts: 1,740Member
    It really helps to know that I'm not alone. >:D<
  • ChibikoChibiko
    Posts: 2,671Member
    I work 8+ hours a day. I'm really lucky in that my hours are flexible so I can pretty much go in when I want. Some days is 730. Some days is 930. As long as I get my 8 plus whatever OT I can manage my manager doesn't care.

    It's a much different world from when I was a SAHM. Luckily I had put some really great processes in place so it's not too overwhelming.
    U R who U think U R

    "You were the truth I would rather lose than to have never lain beside at all"
  • sunnymommasunnymomma
    Posts: 2,243Member
    I work retail so my hours vary, usually 830 to 5. one night until 830pm, but i have been scheduled until 1015pm on occassion. that sucks. I dont see DD at all those days. Microwave your own dinner those nights!!! 40 hrs a week, days off are never the same. DD is gone on weekends so i try to get my boss to schedule me sat and sun so i can have 2 weekdays off. That allows me to clean and run errands while DD is at school then spend time with her as soon as shes home from school. sucks, but is manageable. 
    “There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life.”
    ― John Lennon
  • stevienixxxstevienixxx
    Posts: 106Member
    i work monday thru thursday 8-5. and my boss wants to take away my fridays off :( the day to day task stuff isnt hard but the emotional part of being away from baby boy sucks ass. i would kill to be able to be a sahm.
  • no_whine
    Posts: 61Member
    I work m-f 8ish to 4:30ish. sometimes the occasional weekend day. then cleaning a little bit each day which doesn't seem to keep the mess at bay. weekends I still can't seem to catch up with cleaning. I used to take classes but haven't done so since my son was born. Husband gets to be stay at home dad, but i swear it's more work for me sometimes. He's still a guy and doesn't clean unless its really disgusting or the boy or dog might get into it.
  • MiaMommyof2
    Posts: 152Member
    I work 7-5 and do onlince schooling at night. Talk about not feeling like enough time for anything! During the next three weeks I also have to work on Saturdays from 8-4. I will be ready to rip my hair out or find a bed and just sleep at work since I am there all the damn time.
    Hakuna Mata....
  • KellynnKellynn
    Posts: 1,970Member
    During the school year I work 7-4. I have found it helps to pre plan meals. I usually do a list before I grocery shop on the weekends, and try to do all the prep work on Sundays, so on any given day I know what's for dinner and just have to thaw something, or do the crockpot in the morning. I feel for all working mommies! It is so hard sometimes.
  • AnonUser35
    Posts: 543Guest
    I work M-F 8:00am - 5:00pm, and my commute is 50 minutes each way. It sucks! The best thing about my day is the 50 min car ride to and from work with my girls and that my lunch breaks which I spend with them at least 4 days a week (they stay at a sitter 3 miles from my job). The one lunch break a week I don't spend with them is my grocery shopping/errand day. Luckily, my job is at a small family owned company so they are pretty relaxed about the "one hr lunch break" and leaving early and coming in late. They understand that sometimes things do not go as planned with kids.
  • jacigirl6354
    Posts: 199Member
    I work 40 hours a week ( I wouldn't say 8-5 because I schedule my own hours based on what we have going on for the week). I frequently have night and weekend appointments, but those get taken out of my 40 hours. I also work one night a week at a restaurant and fill in at the local country club on occasion. It sucks, but we have bills. My kids are 8 and 15, so that helps, but I too do 99% of the household chores, my house is never as clean as I want it to be and take out or hamburger helper is on the menu frequently. Gee, just living the dream at our house!
  • beachmommybeachmommy
    Posts: 2,484Member

    I work 8:30-6:00 MWF and 8:30-7:00 T and TH. Some days are longer, especially if I have to travel out of town. My son is 4.5 mo old.  I absolutely hate being gone so much.  But here are a few things that I found that are helping me get more out of the time we are together:

    1. I pay someone to come in and do the "deep" clean every 2 weeks.  this includes scrubbing the bathrooms, floors and changing bedding.  She will even clean my fridge and organize my closets once a month.  I pay her $80 every two weeks.  Worth every penny.

    2. I have the babysitter do DS' laundry.  It may not be done the way that I would, but it the time it saves is precious.

    3. I cook a big meal on Sunday and use the left overs for Mon or Tues dinner.  If I make sauce or stew or chili or something similar, I make a bunch and freeze in small containers so that I can pull one out during the week for quick dinners with little work.  I will also order take out once a week (usually Friday).

    4. I take as many things to the dry cleaners as possible- even shirts that can be laundered but would require ironing.  If I have to iron it, I won't wear it.  Most cleaners offer cash up front discounts and quantity discounts. Most have regular coupons in the local papers.

    5. Daipers.com.  24 hour delivery.  Enough said.

    6. I take my DS with me EVERYWHERE.  I know he is only 4.5 months so that makes it easier for me, but even things like grocery shopping are "family" outings.

    But mostly, I get lots of time to spend with DS bc he refuses to sleep through the night so we spend lots of bonding hours together!

     

    My beach is still Sandy....
  • anonymommy
    Posts: 1,390Member
    I work 8:30-6 M-F, but have to bring stuff home at night/work on the weekends a lot too.  It sucks.  I almost never take time to myself, but recently have started getting up earlier to get on the treadmill...It's not much, but it's something.  I never feel like I get enough time with DS2 or DH.  DH is gone from 7-6:15 every day, too.  We pretty even split all of the household work and since we both feel robbed of time with B, we pretty much spend all of our non-working time with him.  We take a break for a date every few months (we should do it more often).  It's not ideal, but we make the best we can of it.
  • DaBOMB
    Posts: 273Member
    I work 8:30 to 5:30 and have done variations of this since 1992.  5 sometimes 6 days a week.  No matter how many hours you work or don't work Mommy guilt is a problem.  Period.  I get up early and spend 20 mins on the treadmill.  Almost fell of the darn thing this morning I was so sleepy.  We split the house work.  My son is older now but the only time I've really ever had off with him was the 12 weeks after he was born.  It works...  trying to win the lottery so we can not work at all, but then I wonder what kind of example that sets?!  This is life... you just do what you gotta do...
  • Xraymom
    Posts: 102Member
    I work swing shift, until 11 pm M-F. It is ok right now because I have the mornings free, but when he starts school I hope I can find a better shift because I will never see him.

    I hate how the weekends seem to feel like catchup from the previous week and prep for the week ahead. I would love a compressed work week, but won't happen at current job.
  • AnonUser26
    Posts: 1,144Guest
    I work the same hours. It sucks. Everything is closed when I need it (bank, post office, etc.) And there is NEVER enough time on the weekends and they fly by!
  • 456Imamom
    Posts: 538Member
    I work 7:45-3:45 M-F, between the commute and daycare drop-off/pick-up we are out of the house by 7, and aren't home until 5pm... then its the mad dash to get food on the table before DS20mths melts down. then straight from dinner to bath/bedtime routine.... he's usually asleep by 6:30/7pm....So most of the week my interaction with him is getting ready in the morning, or getting ready for bed (aka tantrum time!).
    I'm also going to school P/T, usually 1 night a week, and DH is really helpful (we split the parenting and day to day chores). But it's still exhausting, and I feel like I can never catch-up. The weekends are errands and renovations on our house (we are selling later this summer and the place needs some work before we can list it). Thank goodness my DS thinks that the grocery store and hardware stores are exciting places to visit with Mom+/or dad. We do have a cleaner come and clean the house every second week. It's SO worth it!
    .... but I'm still looking for a balance... I love my family, I love school, I like my job and I want to change careers.... so this is the best I can manage....
  • Lakegirl34
    Posts: 1,740Member
    I've had a rough day struggling again...Mondays tend to be my most emotional days having to adjust back to the work week rush. I'm really learning to let go of my stacks to sort and things to clean.
  • WebosMama
    Posts: 155Member
    I work M-F 8am to 5pm. It sucks. My son is in bed by 7:30. So we live for the weekends.
  • beachmommybeachmommy
    Posts: 2,484Member

    @lakegirl34 - I know what you mean about Mondays.   I can't help but wonder what DS 4.5 months is thinking after we get 2 full days together and then all of a sudden I take off for 10 hours straight. Repeatedly.  But then, without fail, I come home at night and he is all smiles the moment he sees me.  So he must not be too mad. 

    It is so hard.  I wish it would be ok to take him to work with me.  Best of both worlds I guess. 

    From one working-way-too-much mommy to another...

    >:D<
    My beach is still Sandy....
  • GritsGrits
    Posts: 3,740Member
    Kim said:

    Luckily, my job is at a small family owned company so they are pretty relaxed about the "one hr lunch break" and leaving early and coming in late. They understand that sometimes things do not go as planned with kids.



    This is the best/worst part about my job. The good part is the flexibility and the fact that I'm not terribly "disposable" to the owner. The worst part is that business is slow right now, so I only get 6 hours a day, 5 days a week, 9-12 then back from 2-5. The two hour break is nice, but it's usually spent at home helping out with kids and chores or running errands. @stevienixx, I'd love to be a SAHM again. I really miss the kiddos and being home to take care of everything, but it's just not a possibility right now. Hopefully, when the kids are back to school in August, DH will be able to find a good permanent position and I can at least cut back on my hours.
    "I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day, and I believe in miracles." ~Audrey Hepburn
  • deviltwinsmommadeviltwinsmomma
    Posts: 2,275Member
    I work M-F with some saturdays to relieve my front desk staff from 8-4:30pm I work for the county so the benefits are flipping A-mazing I have been with them for 10 yrs. my dh works nights for the railroad so it's pretty much a high five and kiss when we see each other, this saves us money on daycare. and evenings and weekends are the time i get to spend with my demons.
    my mother used to sing me a song. It went like this: "Life is short, life is shit, and soon it will be over.
  • NorthernMommyNorthernMommy
    Posts: 347Member

    I work M-F, 8:00-5:00, with a significant amount of OT at month-end (and budget, and audit, etc)...Luckily for us, DH has moved back into town full time (he used to work a 2-week in/2-week out rotation on a remote work site) and it's starting to get a little tiny bit easier.  I've got quite a bit of flexibility in my job (in the sense that if I need to be home, I can work from home), but it's still a tough road.

    But - I think as a Canadian, I can't really complain; our social system allows us (if you want to) to take up to 1 year of maternity leave.  I chose to go back to work when DS2 was 8mos old, for my own peace of mind.

    That being said - here's how I cope:

    1 - I have a housekeeper that comes in once every 2 weeks for the large scale cleaning;

    2 - DH does the bulk of our laundry, at least 1 load a day;

    3 - I usually plan meals in advance (grocery shop once a week, based on a meal plan provided by the website No More To Go - this has proven to be my lifesaver);

    4 - finally realized that having a spotless house does not make me an awesome mom, having DS2's cars all over my kitchen table means that I am a fun mom :)

    I have given up on living the 'perfection' dream, I'm living the "I have a two year old, if you think I should have a spotless house, you clean it" dream!

    Cheers!

  • wtfwit
    Posts: 220Member
    I work 8-5 mon thru fri. When I get home (5:45 6:00) I go straight to the kitchen. We eat by 7 7:30 dishes go in the sink, left overs in the fridge, kids wash the dishes the next day. I do a lil cleaning... 1 day laundry, clean a bathroom or sweep. Either I stay up till 2am Thurs clean the whole house while ev1 sleeps or make ev1 help Sat morning. When the kids were babies I just did it all after they went to bed. I'm a night owl though. It sucks to be so busy but this is the best paying job I've had and 1st job with weekends off. We actually have $ to go out to eat and a movie.. which my kids are happy with.
  • TXmamaTXmama
    Posts: 12Member
    I also work 7:30-5:00 M-F, I also go straight to the kitchen lol to start dinner we usually eat between 6:30 and 7pm, I try and do laundry and cleaning through the week, every other week I do the deep cleaning.
  • WildandFree
    Posts: 1,587Member
    I am do glad I'm not the only working mom...
  • WildandFree
    Posts: 1,587Member
    So*
  • Mommyoftwo2Mommyoftwo2
    Posts: 36Member
    I sit at work as I read your post and wish I was home with my girls. I had my first at 21 and have never had any significant amount of time with them other than the usual couple of months of maternity leave. It is sad that my daughters have never known what a stay at home mom would be like. I wish I could give them more time, I wish I had more time. Soon they will be grown and out of the house and then what? I hope for them that they will be in a position to be stay at home moms if they want when they have their own kids.
  • hdlee101
    Posts: 2Member
    I am in the same boat.  I have lots of mommy guilt.  I have four boys 7 to 17 and I have never been able to stay home with them. It's always been my dream but it just isn't happening.  I'm pretty organized and get everything done but one secret is getting things done at work.  I make lists, deal with problems I can handle on the phone/online (believe me, there is always something) and pay bills and try to get whatever I can out of the way so I don't have to do it during my family time.  I often wonder if I would be so organized if I wasn't chained to a desk all day.
  • hdlee101
    Posts: 2Member
    The worst part is seeing what seems like everyone else spending extra time with their kids because it's summer while I had to put mine in day camp.  It's depressing)-:   I wish I could spend more time with my boys. I am hopeful maybe one day I will be able to. I would definitely be willing to do without a lot of things if we could swing the bills.
  • GirlsOnly
    Posts: 142Member
    I work 8:30-5:30, and my commute is only 20 minutes, so I feel lucky compared to what some of you ladies deal with. I rarely have to work overtime to meet a deadline - maybe once or twice a month. I also get a full hour for lunch so sometimes SAHD brings our 18-month twins downtown and we have lunch at Luby's Cafeteria.

    The weekends are so full of family and social obligations, I feel frayed. Even when those things are fun, they require energy to participate. But it's my own fault - I want to do those things, and keep scheduling them, until they somehow pile up into a perpetual motion machine.

    This weekend is the first one in a couple of months when I don't have any plans. I am so excited to take my girls swimming in the afternoons (even if it's just the baby pool in the backyard), and to hibernate in the evenings! Maybe I can even get away for an hour for a pedicure (*gasp*). I have successfully avoided making any commitments - so far. I hope I
    can keep it that way, but even now I feel myself thinking about other
    twin moms I could invite over for wine and cards on Saturday night.  No!
    NO! MUST RESIST!

    Like @beachmommy, we hire people to clean our home twice a month, and our part-time nanny does the girls' laundry. I've had to learn that sometimes just moving or consolidating the LPS (little piles of shit) really does constitute straightening up. My time is better spent loving and learning with my little girls.
  • iamslowlygoingcrazy
    Posts: 145Member
    I'm in the same boat as all of you ladies and have the lingering mommy guilt as well.  It sucks but my mom always worked full time and it never bothered us.  I have learned to not worry that my house isn't spotless and after reading these posts I really need to think about getting a cleaner in every couple of weeks, that would be heaven!  I also do things like yesterday I used a vacation day to go with DS class to the zoo.  That helps ease the guilt.  Sucks when you can't make special events and my DS is in junior kindergarten and always wants mommy to come to things.  It's a juggling nightmare.  Let alone time of for doctors appointments and stuff.  I envy SAHM's sometimes but I know I could never do that, I'd go nuts but I would love to only work part time but it's just not possible in my job :(
  • lawschoolmommy
    Posts: 225Member
    During this summer, I'm working 2 part-time jobs and a part-time internship.  I work (for money) 9-5 Monday, Wednesday and Friday.  I do an unpaid internship 9-5 Tuesday and Thursday.  I do photography work on the weekends as I can get it for extra cash.

    My house is a pit.  I'm quite embarrassed by it.  Today I called in to my internship just to have some time while my son is at daycare to get some stuff done.  I'm a single mom, and my son is just a toddler, so if I don't do it, it doesn't get done.  Even though I spent the entire day being productive, my house is still a pit because I had so many out-of-home errands I needed to do.

    It sucks.  And its like there's no end in sight.  And on top of that, because I only get consistently paid for working 3 days a week, I don't even have a decent paycheck to show for my schedule so I still struggle with bills.
  • GirlsOnly
    Posts: 142Member
    I saw this post on facebook: Cleaning with a toddler in the house is like brushing your teeth while eating Oreos.

    SO TRUE!
  • twinmommy2004
    Posts: 252Member

    I have seen - cleaning while there are children in the house is like shoveling while it's still snowing. That is my personal favorite.


    :)

    the secret to happiness is not getting what you want, it's wanting what you get
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