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The Pussification of our sons (Single mom rant)
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What is going on with overprotective moms these days??? I have to sit for 3 hours a day at football practice with moms who refuse to pop their boobs out of their sons mouths. My son is too tired. My son is thirsty. My son is exhausted. This is the first week of football practice!!!!!! There is a requirement that the first week is reserved for conditioning. What did you think was going to happen? Why are so many moms so afraid to let their sons be uncomfortable or God forbid experience any pain. Dont get me wrong, Im a mama bear and I am always going to protect my cubs but for God sakes moms stop turning your son into a cry baby that wants to quit every time he is uncomfortable. One mom actually told her son it was ok to pop his mouth guard out if it was too uncomfortable. Uh Mom? I guarantee broken teeth or a concussion will be much more uncomfortable. Geez!!!! The football field is a metaphor for life. (wow thats corny). Sometimes in life you have to keep going when your tired, you have to keep going when you would love to quit. Cut the cord mommies please.
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Preach it, hun!!
=D> -
because there are football coaches who will make your kids run until they die. happens at least 3 times a year in texas.i'm nekkid.
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=D> Bravo!!!
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My son would have been mortified if his "Mommy" showed up at practice, I kept it to just the games.
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Thank God someone thinks this as well. When my son gets hurt doing anything, assuming he can still move and blood is not gushing out, I tell him to just walk any injuries off. If there are any mothers around I get an evil look.Imperfect and proud of it.
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@ChristyJ mine is so used to me treating his minor injuries this way. When he falls on his face, even if he's not quite up to hopping right back up, he will shout from the ground "I'm okay!" I get the looks too lol
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My DS is not into sports yet well one is old enough he guy isnt interested. Anyway, when he ,DS 4 , does a face plant because he was running , I congratulate him on a great looking crash and get him to come to me so I can check him out. No blood , your good! His cousins the same age can fall on carpet and then it's at least 5 mins of hugs and cuddles for the girl and sometimes the boy too. Or when they get their feelings hurt because my DS said no. I love the cousins but just like my kids they can get on my nerves sometimes." Wibbly wobbly timey wimey ......." The Doctor
" I'm a leafe on the wind..watch how I soar ." Wash :((
" Oh the wall had it comming.' Sherlock Holmes
yea I am geek !! -
Doesn't this go along with the "No losers" theme in kids sports? Why play if there are no winners? Kids have to learn about life, and in life there are clearly winners and losers. The people who get promoted and the people who get looked over. You work and train hard you get rewarded.I'm all for making sure my kid is properly hydrated while running his ass off but I'm not about to let him whine his way out of a sport if he wants to do it in the first place.You start something, you have to finish it. Even now with my babies we ignore their wipe-outs that occur way too often. They rarely cry because we don't make it a big deal. I'm prepping them to be tough cowboys and motocross racers. I can't wait! I hope they are interested in some of the sports my DH and I are! (I also want to mention I am not above kissing things better and hugging away boo boos when that is needed.)
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I totally agree and fully support this rant.
I tend not to want my girls to be pussified either. Pussification is forbidden in my home.
Ooh! New idea for a sign,
Those who partake in pussification of children will recieve a bag of douche and are expected to exit the premises immediately.You and me, we go way back. -
Yeah, I have never coddled my boys when they get hurt. In our house, it has always been: Is it bleeding? Is it broken? Does it need ice? If the answer to those are No then you're good kid! With ds3, he still runs over to me & I take a peek at his owie, tell him it's ok, kiss the top of his head & send him back to play.
As for sports, I make sure they stay hydrated & take care of any true injuries they have but if they want to particpate, they have to do the work! -
I know exactly what you mean, OP. I mean I'm all for having comfortable equipment and stuff that fits right, all that jazz. But you wear it until we can get you something better, end of story. And I really hope that when my kids are at that age, I'm not coming to practices!See ya in another life, sister!
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DS is only 5 months, so we're not there with him yet, but there will be no pussification of my girls, either. Shake it off is big at my house. If not, we'd always have a crying kid in our laps. I think it's very detrimental to kids when they're babied excessively. They never realize as kids that life hurts and can really suck sometimes--they never learn to cope. I want my kids to be tough cookies so they don't crumble under the pressures that they'll inevitably face.
"I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day, and I believe in miracles." ~Audrey Hepburn -
Spawn won't even LET me baby him. It's fall down---ouch!----want Momma to kiss it?---No, I FINE---and go on about his business.My oldest boy is a drama queen though LOL It's a really complicated line between letting them know you CARE, and have concern for their well-being, versus I'm not taking you to the ER every time you sneeze, dude.And a whole lot of it has to do with just a basic difference in the kids themselves, too. I haven't done anything any differently with any of mine, as far as kissing boo-boos, and telling them to save the water-works for a REAL pain... but still, Alex can stub his toe, and it's the end of the freakin WORLD, and he needs a tranquilizer... but Grace could break her arm, and be all like, It's ok, Momma, watch this cartwheel!!Unless there's blood, (and lots of it), or a bone poking through the skin, save the tears, get some ice, and either go sit down or go play. If you don't like getting hurt, don't play so rough. (They fight a lot.)When Grace started cheerleading, Alex got it in his head that he wanted to play football.Ummm no.Just not gonna happen.He was playing touch football at the park with his friends, and he and another boy had a collision, and he laid on the grass crying for near 10 minutes. I can't imagine how he'd act in a real contact situation!He's a rough and tumble boy, but his tolerance for pain is way lower than what I've have expected at his age.
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LOVE IT!My son didnt 'block' well enough today in Tae Kwon Do and his teacher whacked him upside the head with the big pad thing. He rubbed his head, said 'yup, you got me' then asked for another go because he could 'win' and he wanted to show her. The teacher was mortified and apologised to me, I explained that its real life! If he doesnt block a punch he will get punched, and he was a lot more on the ball for the rest of the class! (he HAD fallen asleep in the car on the way!)"Be who you are and say what you feel. Because those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter." - Dr. Seuss
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Ohmygod i love this. You are in my brain! Kids need to grt dirty, scraped, bruised and a little uncomfortable. Thank god my parents weren't like this, I've got some badass scars from years of being a daredevil and playing sports.
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Lol @love....Rosie had a peer in hockey, 7 yo boy, last year who was exactly like that. This kid was the biggest on the team, oldest, was a very competent player, etc...but god forbid anything go wrong! He cried about *everything*, if he missed a goal, if the other team was winning, if he fell down, if he slid too far into the boards. And then he got a major hockey award that's usually goes to the older players. I was pissed off. AND he didn't come to practices.*eyeroll*See ya in another life, sister!
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I LOVE this! I frequently tell my son to "man up" "walk it off" or to "squirt one out for me" he's a guy not a girl NO CRYING NO WHINING because if you do when we get home i tell the big one and he gets ragged for DAYS about being a princess. It's horrible but I will not have a sissy boy! I too get evil looks but my 11 year old can take a gut shot like a pro AND will tell anyone else that whines to take it like a man or "he'll throat punch em" not that he would but still...
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I do not care if my son is gay, but if he is a sissy or a pussy, I am going to whip his ass!Imperfect and proud of it.
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I hate the title of this thread.Searching for my lost shaker of salt.
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@christyj.. amen my words exactly. My house rule is if its not gushing blood or broken i dont wanna hear about it ever. If i see a lump ill offer ice but dont ask for it first. Lol. My little girl is same way now and if you piss her off she will nail ya a good one but will not accept kisses unless really hurt.
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I think there is a difference between raising your kids not to be "pussies" and raising them to be total assholes.
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PallasAthene said:
I think there is a difference between raising your kids not to be "pussies" and raising them to be total assholes.
Right?! Or having a tough kid and being an asshole to your kid.
What the hell does "squirt one out" mean? -
Lol it means cry. Squirt me out a tear. It's harsh but it's been just me and him for a loooong time and I am super girly so I was really worried I'd do some sort of permanent damage by making him a sissy boy. He can cry for big things and for grief but not injuries and damn sure not in public.
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I'm all for not coddling kids (boys AND girls) for every little boo-boo, but for fucks sake! Sending our boys the message that only girls cry or that it's not ever okay to show emotion in public and then giving them a bunch of shit and calling them names when they do is a good way to end up with an emotionally stunted man.
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@pdxmama, I don't think we are saying that it is not okay to cry, in fact mine does quite regularly, he will occasionally go to his room and have a good cry about something that is bother him. I encourage that. From my point of view, I am talking about minor injuries that do not need to be treated, hurt feelings over every small little thing, etcetera. I never call my kiddo names other that dork, which is a term of endearment in our house.Imperfect and proud of it.
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To be honest, I got over babying my kids FAST. Mostly it was because of my dad, though. When DS4 was first walking, I was the typical panicky first-timer. But Dad wouldn't let me rush to pick up DS4 when he fell down, so my little man got tough. After that, I use my dad's wisdom on all of my kids. If they fall, they jump up, "I'm okay!" and keep going. LOL Poor DS1 fell down last night and hit his face on a block and now he has a black eye.lol But, true to form for my little men, he didn't even cry. :) I love having boys!!
(In case you're wondering, me and DS4 lived with my parents for the first year after DS was born. ExH was still in college. Honestly, it was the best thing that could have happened. Dad died two years later. I'm glad I got that time with him, and that he got that time with DS.)
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I totally agree with this, I often tell people I don't have time for p*ssys, so my boys don't even try! My 18 mo falls often, he may cry for a second, but by the time I get to him he is usually over and off to do something else! My 10yo was climbing a tree a few weeks ago at my friends house and she was freeking out about him falling. So I turned around and yelled to him "don't fall...but if you do, don't break anything" lol
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@JD_and_Nates_mommy I laughed about that last bit. Whenever my kids come to me crying, I tell them if they aren't bleeding, it's not serious. And if they choke over a small piece of food: "HEY! No choking, it's house rules!!" lol
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@MorganD, what a priviledge it must have been to be able to be with your dad in the final years of his life. I can relate. In 2008, DW, DD and I moved in with my in-laws to help with their care. FIL died almost a year ago. Looking back, that time we had with him was such a special blessing.
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@episcopal Anyone who knew my dad was lucky. He was the best kind of man. At his funeral, there wasn't enough room in the chapel to hold everyone. I'm just glad that I got to have many years with him, whereas I know some people don't always get that with their dad. I miss him deeply.
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@MorganD, I miss my FIL too (getting choked up). He was like a second father, although I never quite got to the point where I could call him "Dad." Between DW and I, he's the first of the four parents to go. As stressful as caregiving can be, it often strengthens the bond between parent and child.
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I can't stand to see a cry baby. Ds10 knows that if he's sad I will hold him and that its ok to cry. But not for every lil boo boo he gets. And sometimes life isn't fair. My response has always been... what are you going to do about it? My nephew is a whiny lil sissy. I fucking hate that kid. Do what you need to do but don't whine about it. It not that I can't stand it if they are really hurt... but seriously?? Not getting a #1 medal when you didn't earn it? Gimme a break and stfu!
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@episcopal I don't know my SOs dad, but I do know his mother...I have to say, even though I don't know his dad, it would break my heart to see my SO in pain if anything bad ever happened. My dad was the first of our parents to go, and I hope that we don't lose another anytime soon. My dad was taken way too young, only 49. I was very close to my dad. He was the strongest link in our family. With him gone, we're all just kind of scattered.
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I don't baby my kids but I sure as hell don't and won't call them names if they cry.
pdxmama said:I'm all for not coddling kids (boys AND girls) for every little boo-boo, but for fucks sake! Sending our boys the message that only girls cry or that it's not ever okay to show emotion in public and then giving them a bunch of shit and calling them names when they do is a good way to end up with an emotionally stunted man.
Hell yes. -
I have 2 DS, and my husband gets on me for babying them. Well, if they fall and get hurt, yes, I will give them kisses and hugs (they are both under the age of 6). I will let them cry.
HOWEVER, lets say the injury was from the playground. I will have them still get back on that playground. If it was from a sport injury, they will continue to play.
I am showing them that is okay to show emotion, but u can still get back out there. You can get up on your own and recover from whatever it is that made u fall/get hurt. Life is full of obstacles, but u can always recover and you dont need Mommy to help you.
My big thing with my 3 year old is if he is struggling on the playground, I tell him to "figure it out." He has proven time and time again that he is capable of climbing something and/or getting "unstuck." If I babied him, I feel like he would never be able to do anything for himself. Plus, his face LIGHTS up when he figures it out on his own.
<3 I love you, always/forever,near or far, closer together <3 -
There is a difference between a pussy and emotionally well rounded. Funny thing is MOST women complain that their male SO is cold and unfeeling, showing little to no emotion except anger, apparently because that emotion isn't a sign of being a "pussy".
So real men get mad, and pussies cry?
I'll take a "pussified" man any day, thanks. I'm damn glad my DF mom encouraged him to discuss and explore his feelings instead of being a one dimensional machine.
Just my opinion, though. -
Oh, and his mom was a single mom.
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I never knew 'pussification' was even a word....?
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My pussy has never cried.
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I also hate the fact that so many women here are using the word "pussy" in the first place. Let's put a pejorative name on our men, but let's use a word that indicate all these so-called negative traits are allll female? Why are we using our vaginas as an insult? If you cry easily, are too sensitive, not tough, etc. you are acting like you have a vagina? That is like a homosexual using the word "gay" as an insult. Come on ladies, show yourselves some respect!
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ChristyJ said:
@pdxmama, I don't think we are saying that it is not okay to cry, in fact mine does quite regularly, he will occasionally go to his room and have a good cry about something that is bother him. I encourage that. From my point of view, I am talking about minor injuries that do not need to be treated, hurt feelings over every small little thing, etcetera. I never call my kiddo names other that dork, which is a term of endearment in our house.
This ^ exactly. It's one thing to vent about an excessively whiney child to a group of women who understand (or presumably should understand), and quite another to emotionally abuse a child by berating them for their feelings. -
@love I would say that many women in this thread are venting about whiney children, there are others however, who have specifically said that they berate and ridicule them, not only for expressing their feelings, but even when they are physically injured.
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PallasAthene said:
@love I would say that many women in this thread are venting about whiney children, there are others however, who have specifically said that they berate and ridicule them, not only for expressing their feelings, but even when they are physically injured.
Agreed. -
I love my kiddos, and if crying is called for, so be it...but I want them to be tough. The world isn't going to be nice to them and I want them to be braced to handle it. I'll always be a soft place for them to land when they need it. But I'll be the firm hand keeping them in line, too.
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PallasAthene said:
I also hate the fact that so many women here are using the word "pussy" in the first place. Let's put a pejorative name on our men, but let's use a word that indicate all these so-called negative traits are allll female? Why are we using our vaginas as an insult? If you cry easily, are too sensitive, not tough, etc. you are acting like you have a vagina? That is like a homosexual using the word "gay" as an insult. Come on ladies, show yourselves some respect!
Took the words right out of my mouth! I don't like to see whiny kids any more than any of you do, but I won't insult myself or anyone else by referring to a boy a "pussy". Do those of you who encourage tough behavior in your sons also encourage whining in your daughters? If not, why not call whining/crying/carrying on needlessly what it really is: babyish behavior. Not feminine behavior.
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I'm with @weezer. And if I had any girls, I'd be the same with them. I like to think that I'd have tough girls, tomboys, that could beat up their older brothers.lol
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From the Confessional
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Sometimes I bring DS3mo into the bathroom with me while I shower to keep an eye on him. I worry that it might give him some latent freudian complex, but then I think maybe he'll appreciate curvy women as a result!
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I took plan b almost a month ago now, had my period, but am still terrified I'm pregnant. No implantation bleeding but I feel... Weird. Last time I felt "weird" but unsure the test was + .. I don't want another baby :(
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No one will ever marry me becasuse of the lies I told about my daughter's paternity. They'll date me, live with me, and sleep with me...then they move on and marry someone else. Reputation ruined.
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I drink vodka for breakfast...and so do my kids!
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