She forgot where she put the stupid Elf — until she remembered
For parents who reluctantly participate in Elf on the Shelf, the end is near. That’s right, it’s almost time to send the little shit back to the North Pole until next year. For one mom, she almost got to ditch her family’s Elf a little early — and in a spectacular blaze of glory.
As in, a literal blaze. In her oven.
Texas mom Brittany Mease shared her tale of Elfing gone awry on Facebook this week where it quickly went viral — because it’s both ridiculously hilarious and totally relatable.
In a completely genius move moms everywhere will want to steal for next year, she had told her two kids that Elfis, their family’s Elf, broke his leg on December 1st and had bedrest orders for two whole weeks. Which meant Mease got a reprieve from having to move the stupid thing. But then her kids noticed when the 14 days came and went, so the mom thought quickly.
Maybe a little too quickly.
“The other day the kids noticed that it had been longer than 14 days and he hadn’t moved so when they weren’t looking I grabbed him off the kitchen counter and quickly tossed him in the oven until I could move him later and not raise any suspicion,” she writes.
Which would’ve been absolutely fine — if she hadn’t forgotten all about Elfis until dinnertime that night.
She was baking leftover pasta (just the way her son, who hadn’t been feeling well, likes it) when she realized her error.
“I preheated the oven and started cleaning the kitchen. About 4 minutes later I started to smell something REALLY funky and that’s when all hell broke loose and I broke my son’s heart.”
Because holy shit. She singed Elfis.
It was mid-conversation with a friend when it dawned on Mease that the funky smell was none other than a quickly-melting Elfis. “I yelled ‘FUCKKKKKKKKK!!!! THE ELF! THE FUCKING ELF IS IN THE OVEN.'”
Both Mease’s friend and her son, Gray, came running in to see what was going on. Poor Gray was excited thinking Elfis had made a triumphant return from the injured list, but alas, that wasn’t the case.
Mease says Gray “got his little heart broken” when he saw the roasted remains of Elfis being scooped out of the oven. Her daughter Ily, who’s younger, found it funny. In fact, she was “glad the elf is gone because now he can’t tell on her.”
Gray…not so much.
“Sooooo…. guess what I’m doing today?” she writes. “I’m having to scramble and find the other elf we have and then I have to call Santa (in front of the kids) and ask him if he will please pick Elfis up tonight. Ya know, since he is unable to make it to the North Pole to get fixed because his head literally popped off from being too hot once we pulled him out of the oven and his feet are completely melted off.”
She located the new Elf, but briefly debated using the oven tragedy as a way to bow out of future Elf obligation.
But in the end, her motherly love won out and little Elfis got to rejoin the family.
Also, because occasionally the internet is amazing, a stranger set up a vigil for this Friday to commemorate the OG Elfis.
RIP, Original Elfis. Oh, the things we’ll do for our kids.