Last week, Mommy’s Me Time posted a status update to her Facebook page that has since gone wildly viral. Why? Because moms are exhausted, that’s why.
The post is about the importance of having a friend who understands you and would never stand in judgment at the state of your life — or your house. And it seems to be resonating with a lot of women:
“Last week I had my good friend and her boys over for a play date. What I love about getting together with her is that there’s freedom to be real,” Amber Kuiper of Mommy’s Me Time writes. “I didn’t race around my house minutes before she came to make it look presentable. I didn’t attempt to create the allusion that I had time to do my hair.”
How many times have you opted to skip something social because you just didn’t have the energy to put a bunch of effort into your wardrobe or tidying up your house? It’s happened to the best of us. The thing is, that withdrawing can become habitual if you let it. Days of not returning calls can turn into weeks and months. That’s why it’s so important to remember that we’re all human — and to open up to your life and home to your friends — even during those times when you think it’s all a mess.
My kids are two and five. We’ve moved around a little, so there were some extenuating circumstances for a while, but I can count the number of times I’ve had other mom friends over on one hand. My best friend comes over all the time — he’s basically the only one who sees the state of my house, my hair, and my wardrobe — and he never says a word. I have a handful of mom friends in the new town where I live, and every time we meet (always outside our homes) there’s a common theme — how exhausted we are. I know these women would love to bring their kids to my house and relax together, with no expectations. This blog post reminds me that I need to make more of an effort for to make that happen.
“She gets that sleep was probably interrupted the night before and that I chose to rest a few extra minutes instead of waking up early to dry and curl my hair. She gets that showering alone sometimes isn’t an option and that I had to drag the kids along just so I could wash myself. She gets that dishes are never ending and there’s no such thing as all the toys being put away. She gets it all.” Yup. We do! Yes, there are those unicorns who exist in the comments section of all mom pages to show up and remind those of us who admit to being a mess that “it’s not that hard” — but honestly, those people just need to STFU. It is hard. The sooner we start admitting that to each other the better.
“The truth is, none of us live in a perfect house with a white picket fence. There’s always more to the story, and there’s nothing better than to let someone in to YOUR story. That’s where life gets rich, it’s where we learn that we were placed on this earth to bring light into each other’s darkness.” YES. A thousand times yes. It’s in those moments that we show how imperfectly human we all are that we truly connect. And moms need that desperately. Everyone does.
“You are loved today, friend. Even in your messiest darkest hour, you are worthy of love.” Kuiper tagged about 24 friends in her post, but I feel like I was one of them, because it’s a message we all need to hear.
Now lets all forget about how shitty our houses look and pick up a phone.