Parenting

This Mom’s Living Room Looks Just Like Yours And It’s Pretty Damn Refreshing

by Christine Organ
Updated: 
Originally Published: 
Image via Lacey Ralston

She tells us to put less pressure on ourselves

Lacey Ralston, a mom of two from Canada, recently shared an Instagram post that highlights the conflicting nature of motherhood and the struggle to attain “perfection.” Seriously, moms everywhere will be nodding their heads, saying, “yup, same.”

“Sitting here with 2 conflicting thoughts about this picture,” Ralston wrote along with a photo of her family room that every parent will recognize. In the photo, we see her comfy pants. Check. We see a couch filled with blankets and stuffed animals, but with little room to actually sit. Check. And we see cars, trucks and Legos strewn all over the floor. Check, check and check.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BZhrAc8HRye/?taken-by=lacey_ane

The first of Ralston’s two conflicting observations: she’s fucking tired.

“I’m tired of asking everyone to pick up, including myself,” she wrote. “I’m tired of living in chaos. I’m a horrible housewife. I’m at a loss. I feel discouraged. I’m embarrassed. I want a nap. I’m fucking tired.”

Solidarity, sister. We feel you.

But then Ralston hits us with her second truth bomb, which is that even though we’re tired AF and everything seems so chaotic, our kids are happy. Really happy. And you know what? So are we.

“As I type, my eldest is doing the dishes. My youngest is playing with cars quietly at my feet. They are happy. I’m taking a well-deserved break and sitting on my ass.”

Cheers, mama.

“This picture shows that we have fun in this house, that we have jobs and that we are busy ensuring ourselves and our children experience life,” she continued. “Why do we put so much pressure on ourselves? I think we do it more than society does: In our heads trying to be the perfect wife, mother, daughter, friend or employee. Today I take a break. Tonight I take a bath.”

Ralston told Scary Mommy that, like most parents, she struggled to mentally navigate the challenges of parenting. But after she donated a kidney to her husband in October 2015, she had an “ah-ha” moment that helped to change her perspective.

Lacey Ralston

“I was lying in the recovery room puking up the anesthetic thinking, why?” she told us. “Why the need to be perfect?”

From then on, she said Fuck It became her mantra, and she suggests other mothers say Fuck It more often too.

“Who cares if my friends see my house a mess? Who cares if we have take-out for a week straight? Who cares if my kids wear the same shirt three days in a row. My family is now healthy, and that’s all that matters.”

Parenting is hard for all of us, she said. “That’s something that we can ALL agree on! Talk about the shit days, post about the shit days. It’s not perfect all day every day.”

And despite the imperfections, she said her greatest joy is knowing that her children are very much loved and taken care of and that they’re happy. “Watching them play together and laugh at silly things makes me happy,” she told us. “That alone, outweighs every negative thought I have.”

A-freaking-men.

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