Comments on: Mother Knows Best

By: Aidan Monster's Mom

Aidan Monster's Mom — Sun, 20 Feb 2011 02:58:54 +0000

I personally think that if your kid is old enough to tell you that he wants the boob, that the child is WAAAAAY too old. It’s kinda a little disturbing…..

By: Maegan

Maegan — Tue, 03 Aug 2010 01:47:20 +0000

I’m not disagreeing with you…It’s just the way it’s worded…
“What were you right about? Um, pretty much everything. ”

And then goes on to say that she should have listened to her mom when she was told that she doesn’t need to breastfeed or make babyfood. Why? If she was doing what she wanted to do…WHY shouldn’t she breastfeed & make babyfood?!? How was her mother’s advice GOOD if it undermined her own decisions?

I *get* that there are crazy/bizarre things we hear our mothers say…but then can look back & go…”Hmm, my mom wasn’t *so* crazy, I think.” But at the same time…I would be hurt if my mother told me I was wasting my time by doing something I liked doing/didn’t mind doing! I wouldn’t tell my 6 yr old not to waste her time learning to ride a bike b/c driving will be so much easier. And it seems like the post is dispensing the “helpful” information to the high-strung chicks who haven’t yet realized their mother’s wisdom rather than just pointing out how after a few years, mom’s advice didn’t seem so crazy.

I love my kids…One day when they are parents…I will probably want to give them all kinds of advice. After reading this article, I am going to strive to make sure my “advice” is more supportive. Frankly, assuming my future grandchildren are being fed, clothed, & loved…I will be happy with whatever choices my children make. …Or at the very least, I would support the choices.
Maegan recently posted..Drugs Yes- please!

By: Kiri

Kiri — Tue, 03 Aug 2010 01:26:00 +0000

I really didn’t take the article that way at all. It’s a little puzzling to me that you did. I think Nina was just making the point that we can drive ourselves crazy as mothers if we think we have to wear ourselves out trying to do everything perfectly. She wasn’t bashing anyone, or any type of mothering. She was just making the point that her mom was right, mothers can — if they want to — let go of the perfect stuff and just be real.

My favorite book about motherhood is Three Martini Playdate by Christie Mellors. Highly recommended to everyone here who liked Nina’s original post.
Kiri recently posted..Awesome deal for teachers and parents wonderful wall art

By: Kiri

Kiri — Tue, 03 Aug 2010 01:21:47 +0000

Me too! I bawled all the way home from the NICU on the day the nurses and lactation consultant pointed out that even after everything I had done I still was getting hardly any milk for my teeny tiny son.

Then my second was a preemie, and again I couldn’t breastfeed. I really hated the way the breastfeeding nazis made it seem like ALL women SHOULD breastfeed, and weren’t able to consider that some women just couldn’t.

My two formula-fed preemies are healthy, adorable, and in the gifted program. (That’s not meant to be a brag, just to point out that kids can be smart even without breastmilk.)
Kiri recently posted..Awesome deal for teachers and parents wonderful wall art

By: Yara

Yara — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 22:25:59 +0000

I loved what you wrote. I have two kids (30months and 8months) the first was both formula and breastfed and the second has just been breastfed until a little bit ago and I personally found just breastfeeding easier cause I didn’t have to lug around any thing other than my boobs (and I’ve been lugging those around for years). Honestly, after reading some of the comments I wonder, why does it have to be one or the other. I’m trying to get my 8 month old off the boob now so she has both breastmilk and formula. I like to make my own baby food, when I have time, and if I don’t I give her jars. And I did the same with the first kid. What’s with all the stress?!?!

By: Cassie

Cassie — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 20:37:20 +0000

If you don’t put everyone else’s needs above your own all the time then she’ll be fine. What I meant is that we teach by example and if the example we set is that we are martyrs and don’t take care of ourselves, that is what they will feel they need to do. It was an epiphany when I realized that not only was it necessary to take care of myself, it was setting a good example.

I am not anti-stay-at-home-mom. I think it’s great if you can do it. Sometimes people don’t have a choice and some people have a choice but choose to work. Whatever works best for your family.

By: Nina Badzin

Nina Badzin — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 20:16:29 +0000

Thank you SO much!!!!

By: Nina Badzin

Nina Badzin — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 16:28:34 +0000

That is the best summary of my post that I’ve seen! No “all or nothing” in my house anymore. I happened to use milk/food as the examples, but it goes for almost all aspect of our lives these days. Exercise for example: I only manage to workout 3 days a week and usually no longer than 30 minutes each time. Should I not bother since it’s better to do it 5 days or every day? Of course not! The list goes on and on . . .

By: Kameron

Kameron — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 13:25:26 +0000

Wow, some people really take things too seriously!

I am full time working mom who breastfed my first for almost a year and am 8 months in on number two. With my first I was so stressed out about supplying enough that, when he started sleeping through the night, I would wake up to pump. Now if that’s not crazy, I don’t know what is! I thought if I didn’t provide all of his milk I was a failure and it made me a nervous wreck. At 10 months, I finally gave myself permission to supplement and I became a better mother because of it. I was rested, not on edge and anxious and I know that was better for my son than the alternative. I’m already supplementing with number 2 and I don’t feel bad about it at all. Some breast milk is better than none.

I also fed him all jarred food. I thought making my own food seemed overwhelming at the time and, in my first time mom heightened stress mode, it probably was. This time around I am making all of my daughter’s food. It’s not as hard as I thought it was going to be, but I don’t regret feeding him jarred food and I have some on hand for her if we go out. It is a whole lot easier than toting around frozen cubes of food, trying to get it warmed up, etc.

I think the problem is that people are missing your point. You are not saying throw the boob and all effort being a mom to the curb. I am realizing the second time around that it is OK to give yourself a little leeway. You don’t have to kill yourself to prove that you love your kids. What works for one person is not always what’s going to work for everyone else. If your kids are happy and healthy, you are doing your job. If mommy is not happy and mentally healthy, the whole family suffers. If there were only 1 right way to be a mom then it would be a law, and it’s not!!

By: Robin G

Robin G — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 00:16:56 +0000

You are a wonderful mom. You know your kids. You know yourself. You do what is best for you and your family. If I see you beat your kid then maybe I’ll say something. Otherwise, rock on. You’re doing great.

Motherhood is tough enough without everyone pointing out everything they don’t agree with. Trust your gut. No matter what you do, you will screw up. We all do. Your kids will survive and be much more emotionally healthy if you take care of yourself, too.

More power to you. Nothing but support coming from me.