Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy
@scarymommy
Latest posts by Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy (see all)
- The Disney Reveal - May 14, 2013
- Met My Match At Disney… - May 13, 2013
- Sunday’s Baltimore Sun - May 11, 2013
Before I was a mother, I didn’t really care for other people’s children. Sure, I could appreciate a cute one here and there, but I was never particularly drawn to the little creatures. Puppies were where it was at. I figured that once I became a mother, I would magically turn into a person who enjoyed generations born three decades before myself. A person who wanted to chaperon field trips and aid the teacher and host an annual Halloween party. A person who didn’t dread crowded birthday parties and passing lemonade stands. But, it hasn’t quite happened that way.
These days, I can’t stand other children more than ever. I scowl at them at the doctor’s office. They aregermy and contagious and I want them far away from my darling offspring. At the park they’re always on the equipment that my children want, and they are so much more annoying than my precious three at restaurants. At least when Evan plays with the sugar packets, he does so artfully and he looks so much more adorable wearing his lunch than all the other kids.
My children look infinitely less trashy than others running around the back yard in their underwear. When they scream at passersby they are simply asserting their independence, and it’s endearing. Even their poop is a hundred times less gross than other childrens. How did I get so lucky?
Maybe when I’m a grandmother that universal love of children will finally kick in. Or, maybe I’ll just be that nasty old lady yelling at innocent children in the grocery store.
Yup, that’s entirely more likely.
{ 69 comments… read them below or add one }
LOL!! Omy gosh, I say the same thing all the time! For me, I always love children, that is until I had my own. I could give to mojohns about other people’s kids, and to be around other babies’ poop, well, that’s not even a thought I dare to fathom. Its just too gross!
.-= Nori´s last blog ..I’m a scary momma. =-.
To funny! I had ALWAYS wanted to be a teacher and after becoming a mom the thought of being with kids all day makes me nauseaus! way to be honest momma. we all know our own kids do no wrong lol
I am the SAME WAY. I was never one of those women who oohed and ahhed over babies in the stores. I never really cared for kids. And I still don’t, unless they came from my uterus. I have compassion, of course. If a child is hurting it hurts me. I’m not a total bitch ;-) Just don’t ask me to babysit.
.-= Tiffany´s last blog ..Babies Grow Up So Fast. Thank God. =-.
Exactly— I don’t want them to be hurt or ill, but I don’t want them on my lap, either.
My children are, of course, far superior to any others I may happen across.
Great post, made me LOL.
:D
.-= Insomniac Mummy´s last blog ..Just pretending to be grown ups – A pretty perfect evening =-.
I am just as lucky! Isn’t that amazing. I’m sure we would adore just each other’s children if we ever met. Or maybe not.
.-= Mwa´s last blog ..Fight or flight =-.
Love this! And you know it’s the same most, though they will never admit it (-:
Yep, my kids’s sh** don’t stink either. And, we put the kiddie pool in the front yard so that the baby can swim in the buff specifically just to please the random passerby. I’m telling you, this mom thing is awesome!
.-= parenting BY dummies´s last blog ..It’s a Playground =-.
Oh, those plastic pools are terrible on other people’s yards!! So trashy and cheap. My $5.99 Kmart special is perfect though. Ha.
I too do not much care for other children. I’m actually surprised I had any, but hey, my boy isn’t that bad after all. In fact… he’s pretty much the best, most handsomest, cutest, most endearing, snuggable boy on the market! (If there was a market, that is.)
.-= WackyMummy´s last blog ..My Story Is Coming =-.
So I’m not the only one who turns my nose up at other people’s raggamuffin kids. LOL!
.-= Keyona´s last blog ..Who Will Care For My Child? =-.
Hello?!? Other people’s children are smelly heathens who have *obviously* been raised by wolves! Nasty little buggers, other people’s children…
.-= TheKitchenWitch´s last blog ..Blue Cheese Souffle:Epic Fail =-.
I swear I could have written this myself.
I have become a little bit more tolerant of children in general, but honestly, I was not even planning to have children (until my biological clock kicked in a few years ago). I still don’t have an urge to hold babies, except my own.
.-= Kelly Deneen´s last blog ..Writer’s Workshop: I Am =-.
Too funny – to me it’s not the children. Parents got on my nerves before (can’t you stop your taking all the toys at the dr’s office) and they get on my nerves now (if you don’t stop your kid, I will)
.-= Allie´s last blog ..who has time for pumpkin pickin =-.
That’s SO true. Other parents suck. Except, you guys, of course.
Shoot. I was going to ask you to babysit tonight.
.-= Rachel´s last blog ..A Scourge of Suburban Wildlife =-.
I can’t stand the smell of nasty smelly poopy diaper on another kid – but when my kids were in diapers I had a good 1/2 hr (ok maybe longer) tolerance of their stink – hmmm
.-= fiona´s last blog ..How Do You Pink? Inflammatory Breast Cancer =-.
Hah! And you babysat a lot, didn’t you? Those kids must be scarred :)
.-= Live.Love.Eat´s last blog ..I Love You, Naan! =-.
I totally did. It’s a scary thought.
Okay you are the best ever! I LOVED this… and I was nodding in agreement the whole time… while my post on this will be different, I have to say, BANH ON MAMA! If another child so much as coughs near my child, I pick up my baby and try to stay far away! How annoying that those ‘sick kids’ were allowed out of the house! (Nevermind the fact that of course my boys have colds too and are out about, right?!) Haha! And also? To the other kids at the park? BRING YOUR OWN STINKING TOYS TO PLAY WITH! Do you think I enjoy lugging around all the park toys so YOU can get your hands all over them only to stress out my boys and have them get upset ’cause you’re taking their shovels and pails? Sheesh! :)
Love ya Jill… you’re awesome!
.-= Loukia´s last blog ..I’m one very "Scary Mommy" =-.
LOL! I’m the same way! I have no patience for other peoples kids… There are times I don’t for my own! But I can handle them and they’ll listen to me most times.
My kids are the most wonderful kids in the whole wide world!
.-= Val´s last blog ..What’s on your Thanksgiving menu? =-.
Biase much??!! Maybe just a tad huh? This was funny though. At least your honest!
Are you going to be the old lady that runs kids off her yard? The house that kids will go an extra block not to have to pass?
.-= Jamie´s last blog ..Who needs buttons? =-.
LOL! I think I’ll be exactly like you when I become mom. I STILL won’t like other people’s booger-eaters. But my own? Oh yes. Yes, yes, yes. In fact, my children’s boogers will probably be made of fairy dust.
Visiting from Mama Kats…
I think I can relate just a little too well to this post! : )
I mean, other kids have these horrible looking scribblings. My kid? Picasso all the way.
Other kids sing off-key and mess up the words? My kid should be on Toddler American Idol and his “mistakes” are adorable.
I love your spin on this!
.-= Jenners´s last blog ..Playground Do’s and Don’ts =-.
Well I’m with you that my kids are the best…oh crap you meant your kids. Wel, we shall agree to disagree. I still love other kids – but if they have one booger or couch they better not come anywhere near my angels.
And Mama Kat – mine and yours can be in the Met and on Idol together. Geniuses they are!
You make me laugh! Thanks!
Sorry I meant Jenners – we will have famous kiddos together!
.-= Brittany at Mommy Words´s last blog ..25 Weeks, 3 Days and Counting =-.
I enjoy going on field trips with my nephew b/c at 5 & 6 the kids are so excited to see everything. And it gets me out of work. BUT I have never & will never chaperone one of my teens trips b/c a bus full of hormone rampant teenagers are what my nightmares are made of.
I only like a select few kids, namely people that are related to me; other kids are just annoying.
.-= Brandy´s last blog ..I’d like the WHOLE sweater please. =-.
Totally hear what you’re saying. Imagine, though, if you had to switch kids with another set of parents for a week – like on CMT’s World’s Strictest Parents? Oh boy.
Check out http://www.cmtworldsstrictestparents.com where you can use the Parenting Survival Guide and read parenting survival tips from others. It’s really great and they have some fun interactive stuff too – you can share your comments about your kids with other parents!
When my friend Laura had her first baby, I asked if changing diapers wasn’t so bad because it was her own child.
She looked at me and said grimly, “It’s still shit.”
I’m right there with ya. My father-in-law always tells me I should be a teacher because I’m so good with kids. What he doesn’t get is that I’m good with MY kids, I’m evil with other people’s kids.
.-= Sarah @ Ordinary Days´s last blog ..Sibling Sweetness, or more stuff never to say to a pregnant woman =-.
Even to this day, 3 kids in, my parents still like to remind me “But you always said you never wanted to have kids”. It’s true, I didn’t back then. I didn’t like children. I never knew what to say to them or do with them and they just seemed so confusing. They still are confusing, but I don’t mind being around them. Mine anyway. I still like to stay as far away from everybody else’s.
.-= C @ Kid Things´s last blog ..Helicopter =-.
I feel that way too! Especially now that mine are teens, I see other kids, and think how do you let you kid behave like that? Ex: I was recenly in a restaurant and a2-3 yr old was throwing her food everywhere while the parents just ignored it, and when they were one, they just left the food for the server to clean up! Really?! Pay ttention to your kids, and clean up after them! Ugh!
Ok, better now :0) thanks for the inspiration to vent.
.-= Amethyst Moon´s last blog ..Writer’s workshop- Playground Rules =-.
I always loved kids. When I was younger I loved babystting. I was going to be a pre-school teacher. Then I had my own kids. And I no longer liked other kids that were not related to me! LOL
.-= Stephanie@The Blue Zoo´s last blog ..The Scariest Mommy Of All =-.
OMG that is hilarious. (I’m also not a fan of other people’s kids. that’s why I cannot do daycare). I am a fan of the name Evan, though. That was one of the names we had chosen for Isaac when he came out with no name. lol
.-= S Club Mama´s last blog ..Playground Rules =-.
Love your honesty. Too funny! Having my own kids did make me think when I see a kid misbehaving, “Man, I hope my kid never acts like that.” LOL!
.-= Jennifer´s last blog ..Things Kids Say Thursday #6 =-.
Funny! I liked other kids much better before I had my own, now I am a lot like you. It must be because our kids are so perfect!
.-= Mama B´s last blog ..To the edge and back =-.
This reminds me of a friend I’ve known since grade school. She never thought she wanted to have kids because, you know – they’re evil. But of course she ended up having one of her own. She doesn’t actually talk about not liking other kids anymore – but you know deep down, she still thinks they suck.
.-= Kate Coveny Hood´s last blog ..My Children and Gross and Annoying – The Final Chapter =-.
great post. thanks for sharing your motherhood. i am just like you. other peoples kids bother me. we can be at the restaurant, grocer’s, playground, or at the mall, i can’t tolerate other kids. my kid gets on my nerves, but i love him. i get over it. other peoples kids annoy me. parents who don’t parent their kids annoys me too. i think i need to work on this problem. take care.
.-= Stina´s last blog ..Writer’s Workshop – Playground Etiquette =-.
Loved it! I think we were separated at birth! lol
I’ve never been a big kid person. I was always afraid of kids. Like they were fragile, and I would say something awful in front of them and scar them forever. And I didn’t know how to entertain them. Now that I have my own, I love them immensely and it has changed me. I see kids now for the pure innocents they are, but still I don’t want to open a daycare center anytime soon. I just want to be around MY kids.
.-= Heather Kephart´s last blog ..Writing Down the Bones =-.
I love your honesty….At least I’m not the only one who feels that way about other peoples children. Thanks for sharing!
.-= Stephaine @ Geezees´s last blog ..Personalized Gifts for your Bridesmaid, Sister, and Best Friend =-.
Okay, seriously, when MY son screams and bangs things on the table, he’s got great pitch and rhythm so it’s not annoying at all, unlike the other kids at restaurants. And, thankfully, he only screams and/or cries when he’s REALLY tired, hungry, teething, sick, bored, or needs attention. I can’t believe the number of kids who throw fits for no reason!
I’ve sort of turned into one of those people who can only relate to animals and not human beings, except with toddlers (mine in particular).
Me too! Especially some of my friends’ children. Ugh. And I feel kinda like I’m supposed to like them, but I don’t. They are noisy and rough and annoying and I’m always wishing they were on ritalin or something.
I can not even believe that I just wrote that.
.-= Jennifer´s last blog ..Her Friends Call Her Beautiful =-.
You’re hilarious.
My terribly annoying children are the perfect ones too, just so you know. :)
.-= Heather of the EO´s last blog ..Motherhood – Part Two =-.
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for posting this! I feel exactly the same way and it’s so nice to know you aren’t alone!!!
I can relate. I have often thought about opening a home day care so that I can not have to work outside the home. Then I remember, oh yeah, I don’t like other people’s kids.
.-= Momlissa´s last blog ..Day 4 =-.
So. It might not be the best idea to ask you to babysit my kids for the weekend? :)
.-= angie´s last blog ..Writer’s Workshop-Motherhood =-.
Yes, I am with you. I do not like other people’s children. Except I suspect you were being a bit facetious and probably actually are nice. Whereas I really just dislike the buggers. Also, I am all down for the twitter party, if I can remember! And if I don’t get absorbed (yet again) in hours of old Prison Break episodes online. I’m kind of on a Wentworth Miller kick right now.
.-= Shana´s last blog ..Hypothetical Question – UPDATED =-.
HOLY CRAP! I hate kids too!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all of these carnivals this week.. Good stuff….
.-= Christine ´s last blog ..Writers Workshop: How has Motherhood changed me? =-.
You are hilarious!
Great post! You just put out there what is really on most other mom’s minds! I know I feel this way sometimes when I look at other kids. They aren’t all cute and cuddly. Most often they are cruddy and snotty, why would I oogle over that?
OMG, I could have written that myself. I actually read Mama Kat’s post earlier and was thinking, “How has motherhood changed me? It hasn’t. What the hell is wrong with me?”
Strangely, none of the women I know are like this. They have all loved babies, all babies, since they were 2 year-olds playing with their baby dolls. (I never even liked dolls.) I always thought I was some kind of freak or that I was born without some vital mommy gene. Thanks for making me realize I’m not the only one.
I pick Leigh at Leigh vs. Laundry!!!!!!
Go Leigh! Pick Leigh!
you ROCK!!!!! :)
We call them OPK (Other People’s Kids) and we are not down with OPK at all. Especially the little jerks down the street. Our kids are so much cuter and less annoying…says us!
I love your truth.
you’re a mama lion :)
(i also scowl at those little petrie dishes — i mean, children — in the doctors office, as i wonder (sometimes out-loud) “why are the kids with the green snot sitting in the “well baby/child” part of the waiting room?”)
yeah, other people’s kids are smelly (but not yours) :)
Speaking as a grandmother…….you won’t like” other peoples kids” any better than you do now. I know I don’t.
Hahaha! I actually loved other people’s kids…. until I had my own. It was like all thos other kids suddenly turned into giant blobs of germiness and bad influence.
You’re too funny! I’ll have you know that my kids are always running around in their underear. *grin* But we live in Florida and it’s SO hot, so that’s pretty much why. :-)
This is a cute post and I think you’re onto something with it.
Thank you for stopping by my blog the other day. :-)
I don’t mind the birthday parties and the lemonade stands (in fact, I’m more likely to stop and buy some super-sweetened, high-fructose corn syrup-er- lemonade just so they won’t egg my house). BUT other people’s kids and germs make me want to quarantine ourselves until Spring, especially since I’m preggers. I’m sure they sell some “boy in a bubble” kits somewhere that we could use until flu season is over. Maybe on eBay.
Ain’t that the truth! I can’t believe other people let their kids go out dressed like dirty ragamuffins (shameful!), but MY child in her Barbie Princess dress (accessorized with striped red socks and gold glittery sweater) and yogurt smeared face is the epitome of a well-loved child.
So raw. So real. And I hate to admit it–so me. I actually used to like other kids. Now, other kids seem to have no draw for me. Maybe I’m just kid-ed out.
I LOVE your blog! So true. I just chose you for a feature on my blog, check it out if you want. :) Love it.
I ADORE this post, because I’m with you 100%!!!!
You know…just try running a daycare. It is so hard to wipe the snotty noses without making that disgusted furrowed browed face.
Dare I say that I sort of changed after I became a mom here? I really can relate to the discomfort pre-baby about being around children, because though I had babysat as a teen I’d never changed a diaper till I had my own child.
Life didn’t change that much after one child for me. My husband and I could still get a babysitter and go out and I worked full time and brought my baby when I commuted every day to my office and he slept or played in his porta crib contentedly.
But then, just one year later, I had TRIPLETS and closed my business down because I could no long have all these kids AND work outside the house. I found myself a SAHM changing 4 diapers at a time and later potty-training three together. I don’t even remember much from the first 3 years when I had all these babies at home. Except for one thing I did learn: it did force me to change my ways because I became organized very quickly just to keep my sanity ;-)
Love this post! Very honest & makes sense. I love the kids in my life – my own, my family and friends’ kids, but all other’s kids…not so much. I think for me it is less about the kids and more about the parents. Unless the parents are on the same wavelength in parenting, I am probably not going to like the kids hanging out with my precious babies, haha!
.-= twinmama´s last blog ..Grab a Cup of Coffee…and Your Laptop =-.
You are very, very funny :)
You always make me smile!
Your children do sound perfect.
We are totally opposite because I just love children.
And sometimes, when I am in the city, I will see a particularly disturbing one. They will be dirty from the day, they will have torn school clothes, they will look hungry and most of all, they will look mad. Mad at everything. I love those children so. I love the ones that have mommy’s who use drugs. The ones who have daddy’s that are in prison or unknown. I love the ones being raised by Grandmas in over crowded houses in over crowded neighborhoods. I love them because I don’t know if anyone else will. And each child-every.single.one- is so valuable. A person is a person no matter how small!
I think this should be a post : )
.-= Life with Kaishon´s last blog ..Jessi gets ogled! =-.