You know those kids who you see out shopping who are so misbehaved that you can’t even be annoyed because you’re too busy pitying the parents? Or those children who belong to friends of yours, whom you bitch about all the way from from dinner and count your blessings that you didn’t breed those little monsters? Or, the obnoxious delinquents seated near you at a restaurant that you spend your whole meal glaring at? Yes? Well, I do, and unfortunately, they belong to me.
I don’t know what’s going on– whether it’s backlash from the move, from the new school, from me working or if they’ve all suddenly just morphed into unlikeable little beings. What I do know, is that they are each pretty unbearable at the moment. Sure, they’ve gone annoying phases before, but usually they seem to subconsciously coordinate with each other so they aren’t all suffering through them at once. It’s much appreciated. But, now? No such luck.
Ben, who is usually the easiest and most agreeable by far, cannot seem to speak a word without whining it. Everything is a fight– what I pick for him to wear, what’s for dinner or what the temperature happens to be. Everything. It’s exhausting. Lily has been acting like a spoiled little brat. I am the enemy in every situation and she goes from sweet and agreeable to a screaming lunatic in an instant. I have actually wondered if she seriously suffers from multiple personality disorder. It’s really quite bizarre. And, Evan is just an all around disaster. He is manipulative and demanding and just plain impossible.
Once you put the three of them together, the result is pretty unbelievable. Yesterday I left them unsupervised for 5 minutes to pay some bills and came out of the office to find my family room couch in the dining room. Every pillow was thrown off and all three were jumping from the table to the couch like wild animals. You wouldn’t believe what the morning routine or meal times are like. We’re Nanny 911 material, folks. Of, course, I love them to death. That goes without saying. I just don’t like them all that much at the moment.
If history can be any indicator, once I blog about a problem, it usually resolves itself. In this case, I’m counting on it. Something has got to give, or you’re going to be watching us in prime-time. And, trust me, you don’t want to have to see this.