My Children Are Driving Me Crazy


You know those kids who you see out shopping who are so misbehaved that you can’t even be annoyed because you’re too busy pitying the parents? Or those children who belong to friends of yours, whom you bitch about all the way from from dinner and count your blessings that you didn’t breed those little monsters? Or, the obnoxious delinquents seated near you at a restaurant that you spend your whole meal glaring at? Yes? Well, I do, and unfortunately, they belong to me.

I don’t know what’s going on– whether it’s backlash from the move, from the new school, from me working or if they’ve all suddenly just morphed into unlikeable little beings. What I do know, is that they are each pretty unbearable at the moment. Sure, they’ve gone annoying phases before, but usually they seem to subconsciously coordinate with each other so they aren’t all suffering through them at once. It’s much appreciated. But, now? No such luck.

Ben, who is usually the easiest and most agreeable by far, cannot seem to speak a word without whining it. Everything is a fight– what I pick for him to wear, what’s for dinner or what the temperature happens to be. Everything. It’s exhausting. Lily has been acting like a spoiled little brat. I am the enemy in every situation and she goes from sweet and agreeable to a screaming lunatic in an instant. I have actually wondered if she seriously suffers from multiple personality disorder. It’s really quite bizarre. And, Evan is just an all around disaster. He is manipulative and demanding and just plain impossible.

Once you put the three of them together, the result is pretty unbelievable. Yesterday I left them unsupervised for 5 minutes to pay some bills and came out of the office to find my family room couch in the dining room. Every pillow was thrown off and all three were jumping from the table to the couch like wild animals. You wouldn’t believe what the morning routine or meal times are like. We’re Nanny 911 material, folks. Of, course, I love them to death. That goes without saying. I just don’t like them all that much at the moment.

If history can be any indicator, once I blog about a problem, it usually resolves itself. In this case, I’m counting on it. Something has got to give, or you’re going to be watching us in prime-time. And, trust me, you don’t want to have to see this.


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  1. 1

    Liz says

    Are you SURE you don’t have MY kids? Or maybe that the spirits of my children have not POSSESSED yours??? Because this sounds very familiar. TOO familiar. And yes, It think they totally resent when you have to ignore them for a bit to work or pay the bills so they do WHATEVER they can to get your attention which is usually followed by DISASTER! I feel your pain, sister. And btw I make a MEAN Asian Pear Martini. =)

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    • 3

      Mary Dieckmann says

      My son and the dog almost NEVER give me a break. My kids had always wanted a dog and my husband was all up for the idea too. I was also, but I wanted something SMALLER and FEMALE. My husband and daughter chose a male treeing walker coonhound/spaniel (BIG MISTAKE!). My son looked dubious but willing. I knew disaster was just around the corner. and it was. My son is JEALOUS of the dog. YES, JEALOUS. I take him for a walk 6-7 am every morning, before anyone is up and he doesn’t even know about that walk. But he is convinced I love the dog and not him. He’s already had issues (for a time we took care of two grandmas and both needed even more care than him! But the trouble that started when they were with us didn’t stop with their leaving) but the dog only amplified them. He has got the WORST case of jealousy you ever saw. It reminds me of that video series that features a two year old girl of parents being acted by a young adult male–only I find that totally creepy–not funny because that was what BOTH my kids were like at that age. My son is jealous of the dog, our daughter, any time spent with someone else that is not him. When we had our moms with us, he acted more and more like a baby to get attention, so did my mother. I expected some of that from our son, but from my mother with advancing dementia it was downright embarrassing. My mother and son were determined to take more time from the other and my daughter and husband. It was a relief when my mother was out of the house, but it didn’t make things better for our son or my mother in law. Something like my mother left is still present in my son’s behavior and now he has transferred it to his sister and the dog. I don’t know how to get rid of it and the coonhound (yep, the kids and dad picked a coonhound–BIG MISTAKE) already requires a lot of activity and walks as it is. The only thing that gives me hope for this situation is my teen daughter will be off school in two months to assist me and my son will be going to kindergarten next year. He really needs to deal with his dreadful jealousy problem, but I have tried all kinds of things and bent over backwards for him, the dog and the whole family, but the problem shows no signs of going away. Any ideas? Don’t worry if I have tried it already. I just needed to vent!
      Oh yeah, the dog is TOTALLY water PHOBIC. (Seriously, he likes beaches but is totally scared of the water, won’t go on docks or walkways near the water and is totally afraid of the shower running or water in the bathtub. We have concluded we will have to go with a kiddie pool, the dog lashed to the tree or some other form or restraint, and a water hose hooked up to the warm water in the summer. What can we do until the weather warms up? Is a groomer the only option? Do they know how to handle 50-60 lb water phobic dogs?? He’s so water phobic that the one blessing is he will quickly pee and poop if it’s raining and want to go back inside without insisting on a LONG walk. But that is the only blessing of a water phobic dog.

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      • 4

        Mary Dieckmann says

        Also, how do you get treeing walker coonhounds to poop in their OWN YARD?? We can’t seem to get that one to work either. I tied him out once at his second bathroom time and he marked the tree but refused to poop and was howling and upset at me for putting him out there even twenty minutes. It really looked like he was mad he was forced to mark his own tree and continued up and down whines for the next ten minutes after coming back in and went right to sleep (well, that was nice…and my son was finally playing by himself–first reprieve I had in a week!) Any ideas? I don’t want to have to tie him out to get him to understand we PREFER our property marked and pooped on, not our neighbors. I can understand if male dogs want to do some marking right next to the sidewalk, but can’t they at least keep the poop in our yard?? or least on the grass next to the road?? as soon as I turn my head, if my son is with us and causes me to deal with him for a moment or someone stops and talks…there is our dog dumping out his product on someone else’s yard, or he lunges out and jumps on someone or will howl and whine loud like crazy if another dog or a red truck is nearby–really what is UP with those RED TRUCKS?? Did his former owner have a RED TRUCK?? He really shows an affinity for red fire hydrants, telephone poles, stop signs, red trucks and adults with red jackets or red running gear. He also lunges after birds, cats and small rodents, but I expect that. What is up with the red trucks though??

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  2. 7

    jen says

    Oh yeah, been there. You got a kitten they can constantly harass and torture too?

    Hope it clears up; although I have to say that I’d watch if you made it to Nanny 911- definitely.
    .-= jen´s last blog ..customer service epic fail =-.

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  3. 8

    msdilemma says

    I have just vented ….erm make that ranted….. about the exact same feelings!!!!
    Yeh of course we love them…. but I , like you too, just don’t like her much right now. It feels like we are constantly tested. I’m not sure if you do but I know I’m looking straight into an attitude mirror LOL.
    Now that is a hard one to swallow.
    AND YOU HAVE 3!!!! oh that hurts my head ; )
    .-= msdilemma´s last blog ..I DIDN’T SIGN UP FOR THIS =-.

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  4. 9

    carolyn says

    It’s all the pent up misbehaviour they weren’t allowed to unleash on Mother’s Day. With a side of “that’ll teach you to sleep in until 7″. Sigh.
    .-= carolyn´s last blog ..Homemade bread, the easy way. =-.

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  5. 11

    cathyjoy says

    I’d love to see y’all on tv! Then I could claim to know a tv star – cause I’m snobby like that.
    .-= cathyjoy´s last blog ..Happy Mother’s Day Mommies!! =-.

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  6. 13

    Melissa says

    Well this just sounds dandy! Not. I would be exhausted too. Hayden has been super sensitive and whiny lately (and not in a good way). I know that I have been stressed (as has my husband) and I think it is showing in Hayden – and it is not a pretty sight.

    Good luck with your rowdy bunch. Hopefully this blog post did the trick and they are back to their happy, cheerful, well-behaved selves!
    .-= Melissa´s last blog ..monkey minute. =-.

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  7. 14

    The Grasshoppa: Triplet Plus Two Momma says

    Last night in bed, I turned to my husband and said:
    ” I don’t know what is going on with the triplets, but if ONE more person tells me ‘NO’ when I ask them to do something, I am widdling me one of those spankin’ spoons I have heard about.”

    Now, I am not an advocate of spanking, but I feeling desperate to find a way to get my children out of the alien bodies that have clearly abducted them over the past few weeks.

    Just be glad they are not barricading their bedroom door with their mattresses as once happened to me.

    Spring Fever?
    .-= The Grasshoppa: Triplet Plus Two Momma´s last blog ..The Risky Business of Blackberry Messaging =-.

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      • 16

        Amanda says

        I feel your pain I don’t have triplets but I still managed 3 under 3 and let me tell you they all three are never on the same page….GRRRRR…..I was having one of those scary mommy moments about 5 min ago

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  8. 17

    Maggie says

    I was having one of those pity moments last night at the grocery store. I was thinking how happy I was to be out of the screaming toddler stage. I ate my words when I got home and had to deal with the screaming teenager stage. Does it ever end????

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  9. 20

    From Belgium says

    Here is a remedy : Take 3 tablespoons of Cointreau, 6 of vodka, 1 of creme de cassis or cranberry juice and add the juice of a whole lemon. Serve cold in a pretty martini cocktail glass. Not for the kids, just for you. Trust me it will do you good.

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  10. 22

    WebSavvyMom says

    –>It’s why I could never work at home. I hope it does get better before you really do turn into Scary Mommy!
    .-= WebSavvyMom´s last blog ..The little known other stage of grieving: Distraction =-.

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  11. 23

    ThePeachy1 says

    Oh girl.. Today my daughter turns 21. I was able to write a beautiful post about how great it was being her mom. I left out how many times I thought about sending her to a special school because she blacked her brothers eye. How many times her brother sent me to quiver in the shower balling my eyes out and how many times a drive to the store sent a flash thru my mind to just hit the road. Hang in there, do the best you can. Hoping your story will turn out wonderful and your post will cure it all just like you said.

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  12. 25

    Rebekah says

    OMG, sorry to say but I laughed out loud when I read they moved the couch into the other room! I have 4 boys but lucky for me (for now anyway), the 3 oldest are between 9 and 12 and know better. My 2 year old is the holy terror and he would move the couch all by himself if he could. Thanks for your blog, my husband and I love it and read it all the time!
    .-= Rebekah´s last blog ..Happily Ever After, Thoughts on Mother’s Day =-.

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  13. 26

    NotJustAnotherJen says

    I’ll keep you in my prayers and then I’ll have another drink for you tonight. I’ve had great success with the parenting tips series from Musings of Housewife, don’t know if you’ve checked that out or not. Either way, good luck.
    .-= NotJustAnotherJen´s last blog ..like i know =-.

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  14. 28

    Gillian says

    Yikes. I’m right there with you on the whining. Just ONCE I would like a request/question/statement to be spoken instead of whined. It’s slowly sucking my soul and I cannot wait for this phase to be over. I cannot imagine dealing with this and two others…our infant has yet to develop into the master manipulator I’m sure she will one day become. I bow down to you, and will watch religiously if you ever get your own show!

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    • 29

      Rebecca says

      I don’t know if this will do the trick for you, but I recently told my children that I have special ear plugs that make it so I can’t hear whiny voices, and I ignore them until they speak to me calmly… We’re only three days into this experiment, but it’s been getting good results!

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  15. 30

    mom says

    I love them like crazy but oh boy do I agree with your assessment—let’s hope speaking these words via blog is the cure!!!!
    .-= mom´s last blog ..My Children Are Driving Me Crazy =-.

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  16. 31

    Kelly Deneen says

    Sounds like you need a pen outside where you can let them loose. :)

    Hopefully this is just temporary.
    .-= Kelly Deneen´s last blog ..Random Tuesday Thoughts: Abandonment, Oil, and Funny Things Kids Say =-.

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  17. 33

    Lesa Rumbalski says

    I think this must be going around or something. My kids have been relentless on driving me nuts lately. Part of me thinks it’s because my husband was home a lot more this winter, and they are having trouble adjusting to him being gone again. My daughter who is usually my angel seems to have a switch that goes from Angel to Demon Child just like that. The teachers at preschool did not believe me until one day she was having a fit here for almost an hour because she did not want to eat her cheerios, so I loaded her up over my shoulder and took her to preschool (which is right across the street from us). There she continued her tantrum for another 45 minutes and apparently beat up an innocent chair. The one teacher who was not there that day still doesn’t believe it.
    My son seems to think that whatever I say is wrong. He is constantly arguing and getting into things. Both of them are boycotting my cooking which annoys me because I am actually a good cook. When I take them to my shop, they are constantly breaking the rules there too which is distressing seeing as how I plan children’s parties and am quite good at it. However, I am terrified that someone is going to come in to book a party, see my kids acting like hooligans and walk right out.
    My husband is gone for weeks at a time and doesn’t understand it but cannot help the situation. When he is home, they tow the line and make me look like I have been lying about it all. So, yeah, I understand your pain very well. I keep thinking I should call Supernanny.
    .-= Lesa Rumbalski´s last blog ..Mother’s Day Ramble =-.

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      • 35

        Lesa Rumbalski says

        Ooh, that sounds like a good idea. However, I would probably save it for potential blackmail material for when she gets older and possibly would like to date or something.
        .-= Lesa Rumbalski´s last blog ..Mother’s Day Ramble =-.

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