My children are gross. Not, like a little gross. But, really, really gross.
Now, aside from the colorful rainbow bowel movements, raunchy fingernails and stinky feet, my children have a bad habit that is wildly out of control. A habit that I am ashamed to admit. It’s both revolting and embarrassing. I call it “snot on the wall.” And it makes me sick.
My darling daughter exhibited this behavior a few years ago and it was temporarily resolved by placing a box of tissues and wastebasket in her room. Now that she has brothers, though, the polite manners have been abandoned and all three of them mindlessly wipe their messy noses on whatever surface happens to be nearby. Conveniently, all snot looks alike so there is no pointing fingers at the guilty party. There are few things that annoy me as much as seeing a streak of yellow/green crust adorning my walls. It’s just plain infuriating.
Yesterday, while I was eating yogurt, I felt something on my shirt. I wiped it with my finger to lick off the vanilla blend, and thankfully took a moment to examine it before licking. Not only was it not yogurt, but it was yellow snotage courtesy of my middle son. It’s one thing to use my own sleeve to wipe their noses, it’s an entirely different thing to unknowingly be used as a human tissue. The nerve of that kid!
I’m leaning towards just letting them eat it. At least there’s no messy cleanup.
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{ 76 comments }
Oooooooh…yeah, that’s gross.
Okay, our gross thing? Our neighbor (as a joke) taught Lucy to pick her nose and eat it. She did it for a freakin’ YEAR before she stopped.
I hate our neighbor.
.-= The Yummy Mummy´s last blog ..Separation Snappper (Baked Whole Red Snapper with Herbs) =-.
Hey, at least you don’t have it covering your walls!!
Eeeeeeeewwwww! The good news is they’ll grow out of it, m’dear. A dreary Sunday a.m. over here, but I’ve got a solution. My Silly Sunday Sweepstakes is up and running!
A Veritable Mexican Standoff
.-= Melissa B.´s last blog ..A Veritable Mexican Standoff =-.
Sadly, my brother never did grow out of this phase. He’s marked up every wall of ever bedroom and bathroom he lives in. Ugh….he’s freakin’ nasty!
.-= Amber´s last blog ..7 Months – In & Out =-.
Eww. Mine is headed quickly towards that unique skill. My Evan’s gross thing right now is that when he feels “wind” coming on, he’ll bend over and aim it at me, giggling hysterically the whole time. It’s hard to discipline when I’m laughing and choking at the same time.
.-= WackyMummy´s last blog ..Sunflowers of Confusion =-.
Oh, we think farts are hysterical here. And it’s totally my fault!
I think the first time I realized how gross my children were was after my first daughter was born, she had reflux really bad so everything she drank came right back up. My mother took me shopping one day “to make me feel better”. I was in the store, looking over my shoulder to tell my mom I had found a cute outfit when I got a good whif of what my shirt smelled like….OMG… I had just taken it out of the wash. Who knew that upchucked soy formula smell wouldn’t come out of a cotton shirt? LOL
.-= Traci´s last blog ..Reality TV: Dancing The Nights Away =-.
I remember those days. So nasty. And it stains!
Thank goodness I’m not alone!!! I’ve got two kids so, like you, have a hard time proving who the culprit is although I’m leaning toward the boy. Luckily, mine are old enough to be past the stage of using someone else’s sleave but the wall streaks are gross enough, thank you. Gag!
.-= Kat´s last blog ..New Things On The Horizon =-.
Yeah, when I discovered #1′s snot rectory alongside his bed I thought it was some other formerly sticky, quick-to-harden-if-left-alone substance that I was not ready to address. I know he’s only 7, but my mind immediately assumes the worst (no matter how unlikely) in every situation. I’m not sure if I should admit that I was happy it was just a mountain of boggers stuck to his wall. I tried to make him scour them off, but his overactive gag reflex kicked into hyper drive and to avoid having to clean up moldy boogs and pizza puke, I took over. My eyes watered profusely while I gagged through the job. I hated my life that day.
.-= parenting BY dummies´s last blog ..Saturday Swag-urday: Destination X-mas =-.
My daughter had a shrine behind her bed too– the thought of it alone is making me gag.
When my son was about 3, I was standing at the kitchen sink washing my hands. He walked up behind me, grabble my pants with both hands and proceeded to wipe his nose all over the butt of my pants. Then, he just walked away like nothing happened. Gross! I can totally relate!
.-= Megan´s last blog ..Just 7 Little Words…. =-.
Yuck!
I’ve yet to find a booger/snot shrine, but my son leaves so much drool on his pillowcase, it looks tie-dyed.
.-= Rachel´s last blog ..Murphy’s Mama’s Law #13 =-.
How nasty is that?? My son has red sheets and the white spots make me sick. I’m sticking to white sheets from now on. Ignorance is bliss!
My daughter ate her boogers for, I don’t know, three years or so until I shamed her out of it so many times that she stopped (or got smart and stopped doing it IN FRONT OF me, I’m not sure which). Now she just wipes them on the walls.
And a couple days ago, I saw my 8-year-old son with his hand conspicuously near the assholish area before he pulled his hands out of his underwear and SNIFFED. That was actually so shocking that I was physically unable to shame him. I was speechless.
.-= Alicia´s last blog ..Weekly WrapUp: September 26, 2009 =-.
I snorted reading that. I have seen the same behavior and there are simply no words. It reminds me how close humans are to apes because it is just so grossly primitive. WTF?
Oh dear god that’s gross. I have 4 kids (2 boys, 2 girls), so I live in the kingdom of gross. My 3rd child, a gorgeous little girl, likes to chew her toenails and fingernails. So far, I have not found any snot shrines, but I’ll be on the lookout from now on.
PS….nothing’s funnier than farts. Yes, I’m 12.
.-= Mama Cas´s last blog ..I’m Still a Rock Star =-.
Well, if you could get them to at least eat their boogers instead of wiping them on the first handy surface, you could rationalize it as the ultimate recycling program – and uber-green (pun intended).
Happy SITS Sunday Shoutout!
.-= S.E. Sward´s last blog ..I’m An Anarchist. Are You? =-.
LOL. Perfect.
Next time someone notices the snot on the wall, tell them that your walls are “texturized.” Problem solved.
.-= Lynn from For Love or Funny´s last blog ..Weekend Wish =-.
Ha! That’s a good one. My little artists!
what is it about being a mommy that screams ‘Human Tissue’? I will never know.
.-= Jen @ buried with children´s last blog ..Triplet Play At Its Best =-.
well my craving for a second helping of pancakes just went away….
we have a new diet plan folks
.-= dawn´s last blog ..bucatini all’amatriciana =-.
I have thoroughly disgusted every non-parent reader I have with this post. Sorry, folks.
My youngest wipes his boogers on his sheets. We refer to his bed as “the booger bed”.
So glad I am not alone…
.-= Jenni Jiggety´s last blog ..Moxie Mona Finds Love In the City…. =-.
I’ve certainly dealt with worse things than snot, but for some reason, snot on the wall makes me gag big time. My kids have done it also, and it’s just BARBARIC.
Hilarious post. Thank you for coming clean about your children being gross. Mine are too.
.-= Rhea´s last blog ..Birds of a Feather =-.
Why did we have kids again??
.-= Nan´s last blog ..Things I’ve Found In English Pockets =-.
Ask me sometime about the OTHER stuff my kids have wiped on the walls.
I might even have to get MamaKat to do a writers workshop about it to give me an excuse to to a post about the horrific year that we mysteriously had poop smeared on our walls…..
I cringed when you almost licked your fingers. Eew!!
.-= Lolli´s last blog ..I LOVE Peanut Butter! =-.
I think I’d rather not ask about that, thank you very much. :)
Jill your posts are awesome! And being the mother of two boys myself, I can share with you this annoyance at our children and this very gross habit! I’m used as a tissue more often than not – my boys always wipe their noses and hands all over me. And I can’t stand it when I see my oldest son pick his nose. Ewwww!!
.-= Loukia´s last blog ..The post where I admit more about my neurotic self =-.
I never thought that nosepicking stories would make me feel “happy.” But I’m thrilled to hear that other people have children as gross as mine. But what about annoying?
.-= Kate Coveny Hood´s last blog ..When in Doubt – Wear Pajamas =-.
My daughter wipes her nose on me at any opportunity. She also enjoys a good nose pick. Kids love boogers. Me? Not so much.
.-= Cara´s last blog ..Shampoo =-.
Kids ARE gross. My boy did the same thing. Ick. Makes me gag just thinking about it. Course, he’s past the wiping boogers on the wall or whatever; but he’s still gross. Just in a different – teenager kinda way. . . sigh.
.-= Gigi´s last blog ..I’m Baaaaaccck! =-.
My teenaged daughter had a habit of wiping her eye-gook on her wall next to the mirror.
God. . . am I glad that girl’s away at college!
.-= lizspin´s last blog ..A Beirdimpfe’s Bavarian Birthday Apology to her Bopperl =-.
eeeeeeewwwwww!!!
My daughter is a little (A LOT) dramatic, and still, at nearly 4, has pretty incredible meltdowns. Whenever I lean in to hug her, she will at minimum wipe her nose on my clothes, and sometimes she full on blows her nose on me. The kicker is she will pause, pull back, and smile at her handy work before continuing the tears. Kids are gross.
.-= Jess´s last blog ..Ain’t No Party Like a "Sleepover Party"… =-.
They are totally gross. All of them- whether you admit it or not.
Yuck! But then again, I think they all do it – some moms just either don’t want to admit it out loud or to themselves!
.-= T Rex Mom´s last blog ..Friday Fashion… =-.
This makes me want to barf. Snot is my all time grossest make me puke thing.
.-= Jennifer´s last blog ..The Bud, Flashback Friday =-.
One time, while cleaning a bathroom at Starbucks (I worked there forever) I noticed something green on the wall. It was a giant, nasty, green booger! Talk about gross! It’s one thing to wipe boogers on the walls at home, another out in public!! I gagged as I cleaned it up, it was worse than cleaning pee off toilets! Snot on the walls is so gross, especially when it’s NOT your kids! I have never shared that before, boogers gross people out. Thanks for giving me a reason to share!
.-= Dolli-mama´s last blog ..Eternal Procrastinator and Desperate Housewife =-.
I think I would have walked out on the spot rather than cleaning that up. How revolting– there is freaking toilet paper 6 inches away!!
I hate snot and boogers. All 3 of my boys have major issues! I feel ya girl.
.-= Nicole´s last blog ..Wordful Wednesday, New Beds =-.
EEWEEEW!!! I’m about to paint in my sons room to turn it into a girly room again and found stuff like that on the walls. Do I use the bleachy cleanser first, or just paint over!?
.-= Val´s last blog ..WICKED!!! =-.
We went through that SAME thing for over a year when my kids were younger. Couldn’t figure out who was doing it – no one claimed it. It was on the side of the toilet, on the leather seats in my hubby’s car, on every wall in the house. Finally I busted my daughter when I saw wipage right behind her headboard. YUCK!!!
.-= Teri´s last blog ..This Really Bites =-.
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, snot. everyone has it :)
.-= scrappysue´s last blog ..grazie and arrivederci =-.
Yes…we have that at my house too. It’s nasty and there seems to be no stop to it. My dresses are covered in snot.
XO
Leigh
.-= Leigh´s last blog ..God hit me over the head with my remote control. =-.
Ahhh… boogers. Oh, the stories I can tell! Wiped on mirrors in a pattern, smeared on couch arms so that they crust up and crunch under MY arm, eaten while staring straight into my eyes as I am inhaling to yell “DON’T!”, picked while standing in the background as I record a giveaway winner for my blog…
Endless. ENDLESS stories. I am a proud mother, for sure.
.-= tracey´s last blog ..The things I do =-.
You should just join in on the fun.
.-= DCUrbanDad´s last blog ..DC Urban Dad goes Dutch =-.
I, too, am a walking human kleenex. ANd if I find one more booger wiped on my wall at 8-10 year old level? I’m going to come UNDONE I tell you. Un. Done.
.-= heidi´s last blog ..The Big Easy =-.
i had never heard of kids putting their snot on walls .. until i met my boyfriend .. he said he had a spot on the wall by his bed, devoted to booger picking before bed .. how gross !
.-= Kaitlin Johnston´s last blog ..Cleaning Lady .. That’s Me ** =-.
We went through a nasty similar phase I’ll call Poop on the Wall. My son would occasionally accidentally let a little something out in his pants, and instead of dealing with it in a tidy fashion (i.e. in the toilet), he would hide the evidence by picking it out of his butt, and wiping it on the wall behind something. Behind a dresser, behind the tv, etc. Definitely gross and disgusting.
.-= Gretchen´s last blog ..Fall Cleaning =-.
I’ve been finding boogers on my walls. No one will fess up and it pisses me off. :)
My son is 6 and so far I see him digging for gold just here and there. I won’t celebrate just yet. Something’s gonna give….
.-= Live.Love.Eat´s last blog ..Not So Fat Friday – Moo Shu Style =-.
My son is only four months old and already he’s gross. He’s started sucking on his entire fist. Both of them. At one time. And then he reaches it out and touches whatever he can, covering anything and everything with a slimy film. He kind of reminds me of a slug.
I’m a little worried that I’m SO grossed out be this because I hear boys get even grosser. (sigh…)
I think I’m going to hurl…..
.-= Lady Mama´s last blog ..Uptight Laid-Back Mum =-.
I wear snot on my shoulder like the military stripes of parentling. I may make General someday soon.
.-= Seattledad´s last blog ..Sweet Spot =-.
This post is so funny because my daughter will wipe her nose on anything at all. She’s four and will wipe it on my pants leg, my shirt, my shoulder, ANYTHING!
Oh yikes! If it makes you and your household feel less disgusting, I wipe my dog’s eye boogers off and then let him lick my finger to get rid of it. And I do this voluntarily and willfully and cannot blame another person…
.-= Belle´s last blog ..Fail # 3 =-.
I used to have a snotty wall, too! My mother hated it. Now my son has one, and I felt like a complete hypocrite telling him to use tissues.
Are you sure you didn’t do this when you were little? I’m sure it’s genetic.
.-= Mwa´s last blog ..I’m so zen it hurts sometimes =-.
I often catch my 8 yo girl picking her nose – now you’re making me wonder what happens to her harvest. Maybe I should be checking under the tables or something!
.-= Dcan´s last blog ..No nomination this year. . . =-.
Um is this my kids you are talking about? Strangely familiar sounding. Boogers are everywhere. As are farts, thanks to a gag whoopee cushion given to my husband last Christmas and a dog whose smelliness makes Sophia laugh and laugh and laugh! At least the dog doesn’t pick her nose and wipe it everywhere. She just rubs her A** on the ground. Thanks Maddie.
Oh and yes, since you write about things I get I am subscribing. Misery and grossness love company!
.-= Brittany at Mommy Words´s last blog ..The Mommy Words Name Game =-.
Ugh! Although my toddlers have yet to wipe snot on the walls, they too are so gross. They sweat, smell, slobber, all over every thing! It’s only a matter of time before they discover the can wipe snot on walls instead of letting it simply drip down their faces. It’s only a matter of time…
.-= 3 Stinky Boys and Me´s last blog ..Triken Reichen =-.
Ha ha!
Aren’t little ones the greatest? :)
I just subscribed to receive your feeds!
I found your blog at MBC! Feel free to check mine out at http://raisingmy4sons.com (We have lots of fun at our house too! ha ha!)
Oh my GOD! LOL! That is totally sick. Do they eat their boogers too? I was a big fan of that around the age of 3.
just threw up in my mouth a little.
I have a couple snot factories here too… the little one wipes them everywhere when she isn’t eating them.
And the bigger one, well he doesn’t play with boogers, but he’s been known to coat the house in a layer of poop.
Kids are nasty.
.-= cristin´s last blog ..Deaf Awareness Week. =-.
Could be worse. Could be poop on the wall. My ex-husband had a sister who was… special. She wasn’t actually mentally challenged or diagnosably (so not a word, but I’m typing it anyway, people) developmentally ill… she was just… special. Anyway, I think the story tells itself.
Vomit.
.-= Jasie VanGesen´s last blog ..blah blah blah =-.
Ugh, I am so with you. For me, it’s the snot streaks down the window of my car. I’m cleaning that window like everyday. So gross!
.-= Theta Mom´s last blog ..Life Is Beautiful =-.
OMG – Scary Mommy commented on my blog! Ahhhhh! I feel like I just met a celebrity! Okay…deep breath…in…exhale…
OMG – Scary Mommy has gross kids too! YEAH! So glad you’re human!
Seriously, rarely does a day go by that you’re not cracking me up. Thanks for keeping in real and keeping me smiling. I love feeling like I’m not the only mom with a crazy life.
’tis the season for boggers, beware!
.-= warmchocmilk´s last blog ..I see her in my bathroom mirror =-.
That’s so ironic, on last weeks episode of Mercy the main nurse Veronica had a similar situation occur with a patient when they sneezed on her. Unfortunately for her, she ate it. If anyone hasn’t seen the show its on NBC Wed at 8…
Ohhhh my gosh Jill!!!!!! How loud did you scream? I am laying in bed and I just read this to Gary and he said, “she sounds like a cool mom”. That you are. A very cool mom!
Oh no he did not! Yep, that’s gross. Just so you don’t feel alone in the grossness, I’ll tell you my kid was caught with old brake lines in his mouth today. Or maybe that’s not so much gross as just bad parenting. (to clarify, that would be my husband’s bad parenting)
.-= Ryan Ashley Scott´s last blog ..Giveaway! Yep, looks like I’m going to have to bribe you… =-.
I’m pretty sure that comes with being a kid. I have no tips for you, as I’m afraid that’s a burden ever mom has. Hopefully they’ll grow out of it. I’m confident they will eventually, latest by the time they move to their own place, where THEY will have to do the cleaning up ;-)
Adults do this, too. It’s all too common to see in public restrooms. I used to work at a food manufacturing plant. Yupp! It was in the restrooms there. I wouldn’t bet that it was confined to the restrooms, either. Gross habits sometimes stick — literally!!
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