For months, we’ve been trying to get Lily to have a solo sleepover at her grandma’s house. These days, she is the most demanding one at night. The one who plays so loudly that she wakes up her brothers. The one who comes downstairs six times for water. For help changing her doll clothes. For one more kiss and one more song. How nice it would be to have a break, we thought.
We’ve tried to sell her with the movies she and “Bima” would watch, the pancakes they’d cook and the fun they’d have. She’s always refused. She’d get scared and back out, or insist that Ben come along too. We gave up trying a few months ago, it just didn’t seem to be in the cards for the foreseeable future.
Tonight, we had dinner at my mom’s house. Afterwards, the kids changed into their pjs and we started packing up for the forty five minute drive home. Suddenly, Lily didn’t want to leave. Can I sleep over, she asked. Please, just me? She didn’t have clothes for the morning or a toothbrush, but we agreed. I kissed her good-bye and headed home with the boys. There was not a single tear shed.
But, back home, it’s too quiet. It feels empty here without her. And I’m sad. The last four years have gone by in a blink, and before I know it, my baby girl will be a young woman. And someday she’ll leave our house for good. But, for now, she is the sweetest, smartest, most incredible little girl I can imagine. She is so responsible and thoughtful that, sometimes, I find myself expecting too much of her. I forget that she is only four years old. And now, I’m aching for my little girl. I can’t wait to pick her up tomorrow and squeeze her tight. I can’t wait to hear her giggle while I kiss her neck. I’m going to hold extra long.
And I don’t think she’ll be sleeping out again for a while.