Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy
@scarymommy
Latest posts by Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy (see all)
- The Disney Reveal - May 14, 2013
- Met My Match At Disney… - May 13, 2013
- Sunday’s Baltimore Sun - May 11, 2013
Jeff and I have been married for almost 10 years. We have moved 7 times in that period, and have gotten down to a science what works for us. I do all of the packing. He does all of the orchestrating. I handle the movers and the utilities and he handles the loans and the closings and the money. While it is a bit annoying to be the sole packer in the house, I know just how I want things done, and having his grubby paws fondling my tape and boxes would make me simply crazy. It’s better for everyone this way.
However, when our latest (and last for a long, long time) move is a mere two weeks away and he comes downstairs to find me knee deep in boxes with newspaper strewn all over the kitchen and innocently asks “what are you doing?” I have to wonder if I’m letting him off the hook too lightly.
It’s called packing, my darling. And all those sweaters of yours that I can’t stand? That cologne that smells like an old man and the track pants you so adore that are fraying at the edges and you refuse to get rid of? They might just not make it into the box.
It’s only fair.
{ 78 comments… read them below or add one }
When we moved 6 months ago my husband barely packed, and when I had the brilliant idea to suggest we hire our moving company to pack us he was like, “packing is not that hard.” Then he went out of town the weekend before the move. Yeah, I’m still not bitter.
.-= jodifur´s last blog ..Shoe Friday #69 =-.
Ay, carumba. We’ve now lived in the same house 4.5 years, which is the longest period that my husband or I have been settled since the age of 18. The only thing I miss about moving is the mandatory decluttering, whether it be sweaters or old cologne. Good luck!
.-= Ironic Mom´s last blog ..A Parenting Dictionary: Importing British-isms =-.
Oh that is soooo us! I have my “packing apron” and everything! Pocket for sharpies, Pocket for labels, tape on the wrist… here I go!! I will NOT admit to “losing” any of the ManChild’s old junk during our last move. I have no idea where they went! Weird… I’m sure they’ll turn up.
.-= seriouslyahomemaker´s last blog ..Something’s Gotta Give– HELP!! =-.
A packing apron?! That is GENIUS. I bow to you!!
Oh girl, good luck with the move. I HATE to pack and of course when we moved I was preggo so I got out of it! :) Cute pic.
.-= Elaine´s last blog ..A Week From Today =-.
All is fair in love, war and moves.
.-= Lanita Moss´s last blog ..My Guatemalan Firecracker =-.
that’s an awful lot of moving!
my husband’s awful clothes magically disappear some times too.
…must be the troll.
.-= MommyNamedApril´s last blog ..Uncontrollable [Love] =-.
The last time we moved our company paid for the packing and I now feel its the only way to go…until we have to foot the bill. :)
Good luck on your move!
.-= Alecia, Hoobing Family Adventures´s last blog ..Early Anniversary Surprise =-.
We did that once. Best move EVER.
–>I refuse to sell this house anytime soon only because I hate moving THAT much.
.-= WebSavvyMom´s last blog ..St. Patrick’s Day Bunco =-.
We used to move every single year, we have been here five and it is definitely the longest!
I think that is totally fair. You are nicer than me, though. I wouldn’t even warn, I would just do it.
.-= Frugal Vicki´s last blog ..Sing & Learn Spanish DVD review & Giveaway! =-.
wait, did he forget your moving? or thought you might be doing it a tad too early.
can i just say, AGAIN, i am so glad my move is over. please make sure the cable and phone knows you are moving (double check twice), because you remember what happened to us–our phone number got changed and we were only moving in the same town. i hate COMCRAP!
.-= dawn´s last blog ..sweet potato quesadillas w/ fig reduction, spicy corn relish and pecans =-.
I spent an hour on the phone with them last week. Figuring out my plan, getting a new number, arranging where to return everything… As I was hanging up, the rep informs me that the current owners haven’t disconnected yet so I need to call back next week and do this all again. Seriously?? You couldn’t have checked that first?!
Sounds like something my husband would say too.
.-= metta1313´s last blog ..Next Week’s Guest Blogger… =-.
Apparently, it wasn’t that obvious what you were doing.
Men. Oy.
.-= Shannon´s last blog ..Conversations in the Car: Vol. VII =-.
Holy cow, yes you are letting him off easy. I also like to control things….it is called direction. Just direct him to do what you want.
Just moved into our house six months ago…NEVER MOVING AGAIN!!
Best of luck!
Sadie at heyMamas
I’m never moving my crap again. When it’s time to leave this house, I’m selling everything. If it doesn’t sell…….I’m lighting a match.
Awe I don’t envy you. I just went through this a few months ago and it was the worse thing ever! Now 5 mos later my husbands clothes are still in boxes in our bedroom! I told him I would go through them and he said not to touch them because I will probably throw most of it away…yep he is right and I might just do it! Good luck!
Love the picture! I hope the move goes smoothly! It’s so hard to pack and live out of boxes. You sound like a pro at it!
.-= Kim – In Search of Me in Mommy´s last blog ..Killjoy? =-.
You don’t want to know how i made my hub pack his own clothes….although we weren’t moving.
Needless to say….I have glorious closet space now, and he has the linen closet!
.-= Hollywood Farm´s last blog ..God Is So Good =-.
I can feel your pain on this. We are moving this saturday & I have done ALL of the packing, I set up the utilities, and I found the place. I asked my fiance to pack the the kitchen since its his domain. I regretted that decision as soon as I seen him put all of our plates unwrapped & stacked on top of each in the box. I hope they make it in one piece haha.
It has been nearly 12 years (on April 1st) and 4 kids since we made our last move, and I am terrified of moving again. We moved 8 or 9 times in our first 3 years of marriage. Next time, if there is ever a next time (oh, please, PLEASE let us move some day!) I am totally making a moving apron. I love that idea!
.-= Lolli´s last blog ..Prom Pictures =-.
I swear, we get *this close* to divorce every time we have to pack up the house (and we’ve done it six times), so I feel your pain. Maybe you should pack him in a box?
.-= amber´s last blog ..Flashback Sunday: One Year Ago Today. =-.
“What are you doing?” Is that classic man or what?! I don’t like my husband to pack things either, suitcases, boxes, folded laundry into the laundry basket. He’s a masher. The only reason I can stand for him to load the dishwasher is that the kids don’t seem as interested in helping him as they are me. He is getting better at it, though, I usually only have to return 2 or 3 dishes to the sink now.
I see you’ve one 1/3 of the most important things boxed up and ready to go.
.-= Cranky Sarah´s last blog ..My marriage is not my parents’ =-.
hehe! We moved so often I never had to do spring cleaning…make sure you make your kids comfy in those boxes!
.-= jade´s last blog ..Further the Stereotype =-.
I feel your pain! My husband and I have been married 4 years and have moved 4 times, 2 times cross county and 2 times I was pregnant (like 4 or 5 months!). This last time (a few months ago) I was pregnant (4 months along) and we only had a week and a half to move! I HATE letting my husband help me pack, because he does it wrong, but this last time I really didn’t have a choice. Everything made it here in one piece (mostly).
Good luck! I hope everything goes as smoothly as possible!
.-= Dolli-Mama´s last blog ..If you had to live one day over again, what would it be? =-.
I hear you, sister. We have moved many times and that is exactly how we divvy responsibilities too.
And if husbands driving you loco is the game, my blog is the name. I write about the mind blowingly stupid stuff they do at http://www.imgonnakillhim.com
PS – loved your NY Times article. Good work.
My husband had managed to be unavailable (deployed, out of state, etc) during every one of our five moves. When we got to the sixth one, I was more than happy to hand over the bubble wrap and boxes. He finally understood the time I went a little crazy on the phone when he asked why I was so tired right after I moved us.
.-= Jayna @ Yankee Drawl´s last blog ..Lazy Sunday: A Bit Of Baby Grins To Start Off The Week =-.
Oh girl…I so feel your pain. Excpet you are a few moves up on me…so far. We’ve been married 5 years in June and have moved 3 times. We’ve lived in 4 states in 5 years. It’s completely ridiculous to me when I say it out of my mouth. Especially considering I never saw myself living outside of our home state of OK. I do have to admit though…I’ve never had to pack…except the first move to NC. But it was right after our wedding and we were just moving me. The moving company had already moved him. It makes me feel like a complete pansy ass that moving puts me in such a funk that I have now termed it….My Moving Funk…and I’ve never actually had to pack my entire house, load it, move it, unload it, or un-pack it. And yet…I bitch about it and fall into My Moving Funk.
I’m a pansy ass. That is all I know to say!
I’ll say a little prayer for you!
http://reddirtandcrazy.blogspot.com/
.-= Megan´s last blog ..Words =-.
I hear you. But…………. I moved 9 times before I got out of H.S. got married at 20 we moved at one point 9 times in 18 months. Ugh. By the time I was 25 I moved 26 times. I told my wife they’ll have to carry me out in the coffin after all that. I love my couch, patio and pool. We’re just across the border from the border in Mexico and it’s pretty dangerous and have thought about moving close to relatives in Maine but just can’t get up the steam.
.-= jake jacob´s last blog ..Arizona’s Collectors Guide – Tucson Small Business =-.
The very idea of packing up all of our crap, I mean valuables, makes my toes curl. And the frayed track pants? In our house, they totally belong to me. I know my husband would love any opportunity, like, say, a move, to make them disappear. All the more reason to stay put!
.-= Stacia´s last blog ..Red Fish, Blue Fish: My Zodiac =-.
My parents moved as often as you my whole childhood. Now I’m still living in my starter home – 18 years later – because I can’t bear to move. Not sure that’s good either.
A friend emailed me a link to an article about Mommy bloggers meeting in (NYC?) and you were featured. Very cool.
Sometimes I am SO glad that being in the military has the perks of movers packing up our stuff. They do it better than the husband OR I could ever do it!
When we move I think a couple of my husband’s things will be disappearing.
Especially the shirt with the evil clown on it. I hate clowns.
.-= Amber´s last blog ..Happy 3rd Birthday, Natalie! =-.
We had our first truly joint move 2 years ago. He decided he was going to pack the UHaul. Despite the fact that I’ve moved almost every 2yrs my entire life. And he’s moved once. To college.
Needless to say, 2 hours down the road we stopped at his mother’s so I could repack the entire van. 8hours & way too many lane-changes for a U-Haul novice to handle, not a single lightbulb was cracked!
Which now, of course, means that I’ll be the sole packer for the rest of our lives…
.-= Domesticated Gal´s last blog ..Job Seeker’s Guide to Hunting & Fishing =-.
Ha ha! We’re moving next month and I may have to use some of your methods!
It’s our 5th move in 6 years and hopefully also our LAST for a long long time!
That’s one thing I am looking forward to doing when we eventually move…junking the junk!
.-= Safire´s last blog ..Question of the Week: Intuition =-.
Seven times in 10 years? Wowza!
I think you should load up that box of his sweaters and sprinkle them with the old man cologne. This way you can tell the movers to “accidentally” leave the box that smells behind.
If your the one who’s packing, it’s only fair that some of his stuff that you don’t like never make it in the box….lol
.-= Stephaine @ Geezees´s last blog ..Twilight New Moon Party "Oh yes I did!" =-.
Moving is the best way to de-clutter and rid a husband of all the stuff he thinks he needs that makes my skin crawl. In the garbage: Tie-dye shirt with large pot leaf -check, Sweatpants with huge hole in the nether region – check, Mesh shorts you have had since high school – check. “I’m sorry honey….maybe all those things must still be in a box that didn’t get back from the time before last when we moved”.
But, I am curious – do you ever fully unpack? We moved 5 times in 4 years and we never fully unpacked. Heck, we have been in our forever house for almost 3 years and I have two HUGE closets full of boxes that have yet to be unpacked.
.-= HaB´s last blog ..A Backyard View =-.
Ditch the sweaters. Just cleaned out my husband’s closet. I saw this as an opportunity throw out a) a bag – Oh, I mean “collection” of old cell phones b) some clothes that were clearly purchased at Chess King in 1987 and c) a broken record player (horrible feng shui!)!!!
good luck!
p
.-= adhocmom´s last blog ..1 Walrus = 1 Lollipop =-.
hee hee hee hee hee
That’s called spring cleaning. YOu don’t help.. you have no choice ;-)
Love it. Sometimes my husbands tee shirts “accidentally” get packed in with stuff for Good Will.
Sometimes.
.-= erica´s last blog ..What makes you feel fabulous? A Sephora giveaway! =-.
Don’t you just love it when they ask you totally obvious questions. Example: I am standing in the kitchen in front of the stove with a spoon in my hand. My dearest husband asks “What are you doing?” DUH! I am cooking your stinking dinner nit wit. Of course I don’t say that but I sure would like to ;D
roundabout this time last year, i was you. packing and sorting, sorting and packing. i’m surprised you didnt put tape on his mouth.
.-= cheri´s last blog ..does anybody know me? =-.
It IS only fair!! And thanks for the great tip…I’ll most likely be the packer when we move later this year, and I have a feeling that some things might just get lost!
“What are you doing?” Oooh. My husband would be lucky to survive.
I’m the sole packer/unpacker, unless my mom decides to “help.” I feel you.
Heaven help the day we move. We have been in this house 19 years.
Though the thought of movers “losing” a box or two of my husbands shit, does sound enticing.
Oy to the vey sister. I would want to use the ol’ cliche – what does it LOOK like I am doing – while putting on my nastiest face of course. Old man cologne – te he he.
.-= Live.Love.Eat´s last blog ..Sweet & Peppered Crab Legs =-.
Those track pants would be GONE. Packer’s discretion.
See, this is what women just don’t understand: We NEED those old sweaters and nearly-empty aftershaves. We need all of that stuff as part of our master plans which we cannot explain fully at this time. I’ve tried to make this clear to my wife when she wondered, once we had moved four times in one calendar year, why I needed to bring unused bluebooks from my last teaching job all the way across the country, or why I thought it was useful to label some boxes “Stuff.” It all makes perfect sense … honest.
.-= Noah´s last blog ..The Cat’s Out the Bag, Part 2 =-.
Why is it we are always the ones in charge of packing EVERYTHING!?
This has happened to me too many times to count and its not just for moving..when we go away for the weekend or for a day trip its all about me packing up everything for everyone and getting the rash of crap when I forget something.
Cause no….I am NOT a member of the psychic friends network and if you need something desperately you better pack it your own damn self!
.-= Sunday Stilwell´s last blog ..Today my Baby Noah turns FIVE! =-.
Serves him right! I say, lose the box in the move. Oops!
.-= Jane´s last blog ..Jane’s Recipe For Household Disaster =-.
I just helped my mom move and I would rather jump off a two story building and land on my kneecaps than do that ever again. But, hey…have fun!
My sportsman and I have been married almost 9years and we have never moved. There is a good reason for that. We would like to continue our mArriage.
Ps the kids look like they are having a blast.
oh, do i *ever* feel your pain! i remember packing late night for our last (as in never-ever again with little kids!) move and my dear sweet lovable hubby stumbling out of out bed and grumbling, “i’m trying to sleep!” wowzer! oh, it’s hard to stay sweet in those moments, isn’t it?! good luck with your move and, can i just say, i am over-the-top in love with your blog!
Yep – I’m the packer too. I would flip if I opened a box packed by my husband. It would never happen – just like like I will never have to refold clothes he has folded. Because he doesn’t even attempt it. The laundry and the packing – ALL ME. Even the car for trips – because he just can’t so things like that the way I like em!
.-= Brittany at Mommy Words´s last blog ..WooBee and ‘B’ Blanket for Rain or Shine! {Review and Giveaway} =-.
HAHA, that’s a great idea. I think the t-shirt collection that’s lived in our attic for the last 2.5 years might fall victim to the next move. Seriously, what is it with guys and stupid 15 year old ratty tee’s?
.-= Amber´s last blog ..Cribs Yo =-.
Yes! My husband and I have been married for 16 years- what is it with keeping all this crap?? Tools that are so rusty that obviously won’t work to his drawer filled with Hard Rock Cafe t-shirt collection. Really?
I don’t even think a move could save me….
Good thing I love him to pieces….
.-= Kelly´s last blog ..You Can’t "i-Touch" This! =-.
Evan’s face is just so adorable. You guys must have been having a lot of fun because that smile is a REAL one, I can tell! Not one where you have to coax a “cheeeeeeze” out of them, but a genuine smile caught with your camera.
Good luck with the move. Hopefully it will be all smiles too!
*fingers crossed for good luck*
.-= Texan Mama´s last blog ..I {heart} faces challenge: Focusing On Angles =-.
Perfect! Or they make it in a box marked dumpster or goodwill! It’s only fair!
ps I can’t believe you’re moving in TWO weeks! ACK! Time flies when we’re having fun doesn’t it?!
.-= christy´s last blog ..The Foo’s Fabulous Big Girl Room! =-.
Ah…very clever lady, very clever indeed. Yep, pretty much only fair. Looks like you have some cute little helpers though, so I can’t feel too bad for you *wink*
http://thepursuitofmommyness.com/
.-= The Pursuit of Mommyness´s last blog ..Coupon Clipping Equals to $100 per Hour, Tax Free =-.
I’ve moved nine times in the past five years. Some by choice, some not. Lets just say I have bad judgement when it comes to renting houses and apartments (floor caving in, back closet collapsing into the ground, the housekeeper of the apt complex having a key to every apartment and stealing our things). I completely understand when it comes to the husband/boyfriend/other person packing. You get to the new house, and then they don’t know where anything is. Nothing is labeled, for some reason there’s a t-shirt in with the silverware and a bunch of spoons in with the kids toys. It’s ok, I completely understand.
.-= Katie´s last blog ..I am exhausted =-.
We’re NOT moving, but I’m in the mood to purge my husband’s ugly $h!t, too! Like his laptop computer from 1992 and his collection of ratty shirts. They aren’t even fit for Goodwill.
Good luck with the move!
.-= Sara — The Football Wife´s last blog ..Beyonce for Babies =-.
Packing.moving.unpacking. They all suck! It’s not fun at all.
And, isn’t driving the wife crazy a husband requirement?
We haven’t moved in awhile, but I totally do this with my husband’s things too. Things he hasn’t looked at in ages, of course!
Love the picture and good luck with your move. I hope it goes smoothly.
.-= Tired Mom Tésa´s last blog ..Interview with Actress Nicole Sullivan – Jenny Craig’s Newest Spokesperson =-.
Oh how I hate packing for a move, and we are going to have to do it soon.
But there is really not a good packer among us. Both my husband and I are ‘throw it in a box 2 days prior to the movers getting here’ packers. You have inspired me to be a little better about it this time. :)
.-= Salt´s last blog ..Ta dahhhh!! =-.
HA! They are just so clueless. We haven’t moved in years, but I’d consider it a perfect opportunity to cull all the things of his I hate. :)
.-= Jackie Lee´s last blog ..Living the Law of Attraction and Parenting With It Too! =-.
When we moved, our packing was more or less chucking everything into a box.
We had no organization and are kicking ourselves now as we still have mystery boxes sealed in the crawl space two years later. No idea what’s in them, but it must not be important!
.-= Chris @ CleverFather´s last blog ..5 Toys that don’t suck: Baby edition =-.
We have moved 4 times in 17 years. We moved several boxes literally labeled “JUNK”. They moved from one attic to the next. I am hoping they just disintegrate in this attic.
.-= Cybil´s last blog .. =-.
Ugh. I have to start packing soon. Hate it. But I do like getting rid of the junk.
Common ladies – I can’t believe you haven’t trained your men to take care of their own stuff. There’s no way in hell I am packing old stuff – I just throw it out – I pay the rubbish people to take it away. Same with my kids. I don’t need clutter in my life – if anyone else wants it then they pack it and make sure it doesn’t crowd the space. I know it sounds hard but actually it’s called tough love.
.-= Claudia´s last blog ..The Truth about Health Care =-.
You know they do badly at things on purpose so they kicked off the team…so to speak.
LOL. Husbands. They make you “stabby” don’t they?
.-= subWOW´s last blog ..WTF Wednesday: Here, have an MRI =-.
I’ve been in charge of four moves in 10 years of marriage and let’s just say A LOT more than my husband’s sweaters have not survived the various purges. Of course, he never noticed any of it missing.
.-= FeastAfterFamine´s last blog ..Cheers, or in this case, St. Elmo’s =-.
I’m exactly the same way. I can barely trust Chris to keep his socks in the hamper. Like I’d ever let him have control over my fine china.
Omg, that is soo us too! Lol he droved me crazy earlier AGAIN! We just bought our new house and I basically did the packing and unpack, clean, decration and than he come and mess everything up! Urgh! I hate it when I ask him something or have a “conversation” with him, it’s like speaking with a 5 yrs old. Urgh! Well it not as bad as before when his sisters used to live with us at the previous house! Thank god!