My Mom Logic

63 Comments

It’s so easy to judge mothers before you are one. So easy to roll your eyes at children misbehaving at the mall. Question why parents would bring an obviously overtired child out to dinner on a Saturday night. Snicker at a horribly mismatched ensemble that some two year old is sporting. Judge the three year old with the pacifier or the diapers or blankie in public. It’s all just so easy.

Until you find yourself a mother. And then things become hard. Really hard. All the energy you spent on judging others seems like a compete waste of time. Suddenly, you begin recognizing yourself in them. You realize that you have become the source of the eye rolls and the snickers and the judgment. And it all seems so silly.

When I leave the house with a daughter dressed in head to toe clashing pink and rain-boots on a sunny day, I hope that other parents just know I let her dress herself. When I need to snag a few wipes from another mom at the airport, I assume that she’s been in the same “blowout diaper with no wipes left” situation. Haven’t we all? When my baby eats a french fry off of the floor, though repulsed, I know it’s not going to kill him. And when the twenty something, child-less girl scowls at me, I’m the one rolling my eyes at her. Soon enough, she’ll be in my shoes.

Life is short– it’s a lesson we bloggers have all learned the hard way in recent weeks. I want my children to feel safe and loved. That’s what parenting is all about, isn’t it? A fight over a t-shirt is not worth it at five o’clock in the morning and sometimes cereal for dinner sounds pretty darn good. Puddles are fun to jump in and a little ingested dirt never really hurt anyone. And that three year old who still needs a paci to sleep? Yup, he’s mine. Go ahead and roll your eyes if you’ve never been there. Someday you might be, and it ain’t easy.

At the end of the day, if my kids are clean, fed and know how much they are loved, I consider that day a success. Most days, I’ll just take loved. That’s my mom logic.

What’s yours?

Comments

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  1. 1

    swirl girl says

    Picking your battles is an important lesson to learn about parenting. Mommy love is the best.

    What is mommy love, you ask? (and she quotes …) Mommy love is love that wants your mind to be stimulated, your heart to be happy, your tummy to be full , your body to be safe – in mismatched pink and rubber rain boots.

    swirl girl’s last blog post..The One (what? only one?) with the Frilly Blog Award

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  2. 2

    Texan Mama says

    My mom logic?

    Upon delivering my 1st child I also delivered the stick that was up my ass. After you have kids, you get a whole new meaning of the phrase “be flexible”.

    My stick was firmly in place. I loved things orderly. I couldn’t tolerate people who didn’t adhere to my respectful requests.

    Now, I’m euphoric when the kids just remember to say “thank you.”

    Texan Mama’s last blog post..Compassion or Conviction?

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  3. 3

    Kristina says

    Not much about mommyhood is logical. I find myself flying by the seat of my pants 90% of the time, but you know what? It always seems to work out in the end. I agree with you- if at the end of the day your kids know they are loved, they are never going to remember that Mommy fed them Goldfish crackers and string cheese for dinner. Not that I have ever done that.

    Kristina’s last blog post..I really am a Mommy

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  4. 4

    says

    So sad to say, I used to roll my eyes at the “unprepared” moms out there. Now, I feel so bad I ever did that. Because I’m not one of them.

    My mom logic – be flexible. That’s been our parenting mantra from conception!

    Always love reading your blog. Thanks so much!

    T Rex Mom’s last blog post..Wheelbarrow Fun with Dad

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  5. 5

    courtney says

    I swear I am not kissing your ass or anything, but you are on a roll.

    VERY well said, my friend. My FOUR year old is still having paci issues from time to time. And he dresses himself every morning, and looks ridiculous. But he sure is proud of himself, and I will take that any day!

    I am emailing parents magazine right now. Not kidding.

    courtney’s last blog post..Bestill my heart…..

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  6. 6

    rachel-asouthernfairytale says

    pick the battles. that is the best advice possible.
    We’ve all been there ;-)

    rachel-asouthernfairytale’s last blog post..Let’s Talk Grilled Cheese

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  7. 7

    Loukia says

    Aww, great post. And my mom logic is pretty much the same as yours. If my kids are fed and safe and feel loved, then I have succeeded. Kisses and hugs all day long. Teaching and playing and getting dirty with my kids, too. Building sandacasles and playing Transformers. I’m always Bumblebee!

    And my 3 and a half year old still uses his soother. And sometimes drinks his milk in a bottle. And I don’t see anything wrong with that, so there! ;) And I have bribed my children at times, so that they will listen to me. And I know that’s considered ‘bad’, but hey – a mommy’s gotta do what she’s gotta do, you know?

    Loukia’s last blog post..Monday picture post!

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  8. 10

    Jessica - This Is Worthwhile says

    There’s logic in all of this? Ha! Well, actually, I guess there is: mine is to be kind. Always. Even when I want to rip my hair out in clumps I try to remain kind.

    Everything else falls into place after that!

    Terrific post, by the way. Well put.

    Jessica – This Is Worthwhile’s last blog post..Thanks for the $6.99!!!

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  9. 11

    Futureblackmail says

    I am not above bribery. Yes, I bribe with candy, with toys, with starbucks and with TV and computer time. It works for me – what can I say?

    Futureblackmail’s last blog post..SICK DAY

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  10. 13

    angie says

    If it hasn’t been on the floor for more than 8 seconds, it’s all good.

    My kids are still alive, too. j/k

    I love the loved part…….it’s all about that, isn’t it?

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  11. 14

    SquiggleMum says

    Lovin’ this post. I cringe to think how many eye-rolling moments I had before becoming a mummy, and I wish I could go back and humbly apologise to those mums I snickered at! Thanks for sharing so honestly.

    SquiggleMum’s last blog post..A Week With Playdough

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  12. 15

    dawn says

    I always look forward to reading your latest post; always so well written momma-kins. I just love when you said ‘blowout diaper’. The image, oh the image that runs through my head on that one.

    dawn’s last blog post..pineapple & bacon pound cake

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  13. 17

    KathyB! says

    My logic is that there isn’t any. Like you said, if at the end of the day they are healthy and fed and loved then nothing else *really* matters. I think you summed it up beautifully and I hope you win :)

    KathyB!’s last blog post..The World Cup is half-full

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  14. 19

    linda sue says

    ABSOLOOOOTLY! Everyone just needs to f-in relax! Allow, let it be…if it isn’t life threatening let it slide. i love seeing kids out and about with blue and red marker all over them, grape juice mustaches, clothing that came form Tim Burton’s fashion sense, crowns, wizard hats, baby t-shirts on four year olds because they were the right green to go with their orange pants…I love the parents who smile while their adorned kids looking goofy, pick up something off of some one elses table and shove it in their pocket for later…that is a good parent! That’s a happy kid!

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  15. 20

    Mel @ A Box of Chocolates says

    I was so that girl who was wondering what in the world that mom was thinking and boy did it come back to bite me in the butt. As I sit and type I am watching my daughter run around in a pink corderoy skirt, lime green mermaid shirt, and striped tights with purple dress up shoes. Yep, no judging here anymore!!

    Mel @ A Box of Chocolates’s last blog post..That’s All She Wrote

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