An Ode To My Jeans – Scary Mommy

An Ode To My Jeans

blue-jeans

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Dear Pair of Jeans From the ’80s,

I know I’ve neglected you. You haven’t been worn in ages. You haven’t even left the bottom drawer of the dresser. In fact, you haven’t seen the light of day for decades! But don’t be sad, I know you’re there, and that’s what matters. You were once the staple of my wardrobe, my go-to favorite item to pair with a T-shirt or a sweatshirt. But that was long ago.

So why do I still insist that you reside in my dresser drawer? Why haven’t you joined your fellow jeans that long-ago relocated to the thrift store? It’s simple: Because you, my dear, fit so well and are so perfectly faded and have held up so well that you are too good to be true. I know I will never find another pair of perfect jeans like you again.

In my defense, you are neatly folded, and you sit alongside a pair of shiny aerobic tights that have met a similar fate. So at least you’re not alone. You are with your brethren. I must admit, I did remove the tan corduroys and the dark-blue corduroys from my possession a while ago. I did love them, but they were noisy. Not quiet like you. And I did, reluctantly, toss those denim overalls that had so many pockets that I could carry all of my worldly goods with me wherever I went. But now I hear those are back in style! Figures. I even got rid of those cute denim-overall shorts!

The point is, I cannot give you up. I know I will never fit into you again, but a girl can dream, right? With you there in that dresser drawer, I know that if by chance one day I need you, there you are. Oh, and that comment I made about checking to see how much vintage (sorry!) jeans might be worth? Forget I even said that! For one, it seems that it’s jeans from the earlier years that are in demand, not a 1980s cutie like you. So no worries! And don’t feel bad; even though you’re not one of the most sought-after numbers, to me you’re priceless! I see you, and instantly, I’m once again on my way to the mall with my friends, I’m at the pinball arcade, I’m off to the pizza place. I’m wearing you with my favorite T-shirt and my cool boots, and I’m feeling light as air. I’m feeling stylish, comfy, young and bold all at the same time.

To my detractors who tell me to declutter and throw out anything that doesn’t fit or that I haven’t worn in a year: Sorry, not going to happen. Even though you’re a few sizes too small, to me, you’re perfect. But, shhh, the professional organizers are correct; I do have to make a bold move. So starting today, you’re going to have a little more room in that dresser drawer! Sorry, spandex aerobic pants. You were fun for a while, and yes, we did have a bond, but that bond was way too tight. Plus, reliving those aerobic moves just can’t compare to the memories of bebopping around town in denim, especially to grab a slice of pizza. So, my precious pair of jeans, you can now rest easy, because from now on, you are my one and only.

Although now I’m wondering if maybe, just maybe, you’d be the perfect size for my kiddo.