Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy
@scarymommy
Latest posts by Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy (see all)
- The Disney Reveal - May 14, 2013
- Met My Match At Disney… - May 13, 2013
- Sunday’s Baltimore Sun - May 11, 2013
When I was 18 I was diagnosed with malignant melanoma. My new boyfriend {now husband} pointed out a funny looking mark on my right shoulder and it was removed and biopsied a few weeks later when I went home for Christmas break. Given the extremely low likelihood that it was cancerous at that young age, the dermatologist told me not to worry about it. Relieved, I traveled to Mexico with my family over the next week. I spent my time there perfecting my tan to a deep golden brown. It looked phenomenal and I didn’t give the biopsy results another thought. Oh, to be 18 again…
When I came home we got the phone call that it was indeed far more serious than initially believed. What was supposed to be my first trip home from college, filled with visits with to school friends and trips to my favorite restaurants and beaches became a trip filled with doctors and surgeries and fear. A good chunk was removed from my shoulder, but fortunately Jeff somehow caught it before it traveled beneath the skin. Thank God. The next couple of months of my freshman year were a blur of appointments and infections. Not fun. And not at all worth a tan.
My back and shoulders are now a road map of scars. I haven’t again had anything as serious (knock, knock, knock on wood,) but anything that looks the least bit suspicious gets removed. For years I refused to wear anything that exposed my shoulders, but I realize now that if I mask every part of my body that’s covered in scars I’m going to need to dress in a head to toe burka. They’re my battle wounds now, and they remind me how diligent I need to be.
I still get my skin checked once a year, and will for the rest of my life. It’s pretty demoralizing, lying on a table stark naked while a doctor examines every inch of my body, in seemingly slow motion. But it’s worth it. Of course.
If you’ve never had a skin check, do it now. And remember to slather that sunscreen on your little ones. Because pale is the new tan.
{ 56 comments… read them below or add one }
That’s scary! Thank God you caught it early enough and thank YOU for the important reminder:0)
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Oh my gosh, that is awful. Thank you so much for sharing your story.
My 9 month old daughter got her first sunburn on a sunny day here last week, because I kept her out too long, I know it was stupid and I feel awful…I went out that day and bought baby sunscreen and a sun hat for her…it’s stories like this that remind me just how damaging sun exposure is for too long.
Thanks for sharing your story. I’ve been thinking I need to get checked. I never know if my birthmarks/moles have always been there or if they just showed up. I guess it’s time . . .
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I totally agree. I let Mason m y 3 year old get his first sunburn last year and I felt AWEFUL. It was the first time that I had been with him out in the sun. I was a new stay at home mom. So I had no clue he would burn that easily.. My husband was sooo pissed. I bought him a swim shirt this year to totally avoid that. I plan to apply sun screen liberally myself this year. Great post keep it up!!
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I have my first-ever weird “thing” on my face. The P.A. said, “It’s just a new mole coming in.” I’m not taking any chances; I made an appointment with a dermatologist (May 21st).
Glad you caught it in time and have been diligent since. I had a spot removed from by my right sideburn a couple of years ago. It wasn’t the super serious kind, but concerning nonetheless. Perhaps if it was more serious I would take more care than I do.
Thanks for the reminder. Especially at this time of year.
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Thank goodness you are fine and not had anything progress any further.
I totally agree – pale is the new tan. Tans might look great but some can come at a high cost.
Continue to cover with sunblock and I will too – thanks for the reminder about skin checks.
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I’m so glad that you are okay, and thank goodness your man caught it early. I can’t imagine how scary that whole experience must have been. I have gone several times to my Dermatologist to check out what I considered questionable moles, etc. I am bad because I still love to tan. And in the summer I do go to tanning beds from time to time, like if I need to look dark before a wedding or a trip or whatever. BAD ME, I know.
You should absolutely not be ashamed to wear shirts that expose your shoulders and back! You’re beautiful.
Thanks for this post. I am always slathering my boys in sunscreen when they’re outside!
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How scary. Thank goodness Jeff caught it so early. Hey, home come he got to see your bare shoulder? You weren’t married yet!
Thanks for the reminder. I am always hiding from the sun myself.
Amen! Pale is totally the new tan. I have been pale always and am proud of it. Healthy skin is way better than being darker.
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I agree!!!
My mother has skin cancer in her face and I really wish that people would believe that white was the new tan.
Im glad your man caught it soon.
You are going to laugh at this, but…
lying on a table having a doctor look me over would be TOTALLY COOL FOR ME. Because, for one little chunk of time, someone would be helping ME and tending to MY NEEDS and not asking ME to do something for THEM but rather what can THEY do for ME?
I have also taken a liking to the dentist. NEVER thought I’d say that.
I’m strawberry blonde with freckles and I have two magic words: Mystic. Tan.
AMEN!
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A friend and were just discussing a trip to the dermatologist. Congrats. You have convinced me to go ahead and make the call. I’m covered in spots and speckles, and it sure couldn’t hurt to have them checked out!
smile steady’s last blog post..Wake Up Call
Your blog is so great and hits home so often – especially regarding kids (I have a 2 year old whom will be 3 in June and we’re working on the potty-training and the pacifier riddance).
So glad that your husband caught the change in marking early. I wish white would become the new tan. Whenever I don’t have a tan I am constantly asked if I’m “feeling OK” – which is quite irritating. I don’t have the beautiful, flawless white skin. I’m on a constant search for a good self-tanning lotion for pale people that’s easy to apply, doesn’t streak, isn’t insanely expensive, etc, etc, etc. (that’s not too demanding right – grin).
I was a swimmer my whole young life and then a lifeguard thru my early twenties so I was always fried. I live in FL and when I go near the beach I always wear long sleeves and if I swim I have on ten layers of sun block. The sun is a scary thing and I have no interest in it shining on my skin till it is cooked a darker color. yikes. You are smart to stay away from it. and YES thank you for the reminder.
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People tease me all time because I am so pale. I am very fair skinned, redheaded as a child and I am covered in freckles. I never tan just burn. I have sunscreen in bulk, I use it everyday. They can tease me all they want and I am okay with my pastiness.
I think too often people don’t take skin cancer seriously, they don’t think it can be as deadly as other cancers and they are wrong.
Thanks for posting about it!
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P.S. I even put sunscreen on my jack russell! His pink belly and nose get burned too.
E’s last blog post..May Day
I am so glad that you caught it early and that you haven’t had any more serious spots found. My Dad has been going through the same thing all his life, so I can totally understand your fears and concerns. Stupid me, I still crave the sun like crazy! I do use sunscreen now instead of an accelerator, but I probably still take too many risks.
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I’m so glad you’re okay.
I’m pale and I’m fine with it. Apparently pale is all the rage these days thanks to that Twilight movie.
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I’m getting screened this month. My dad has had the same thing, and I have a feeling one day they WILL catch something for me.
Thank God for your hubby’s eyesight!
Thanks for the reminder!
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Pale is the new tan! I have been saying that for years. I am just glad that someone finally believes me. After incurring way more bad sunburns that anyone should over the course of several lifetimes, I have learned the hard way that the sun is not my friend.
I gave you a bit of link love on our blog today. Check it out when you have a chance:
http://3baybchicks.blogspot.com/2009/05/twit-tah.html
-Francesca
Three Bay B Chicks’s last blog post..The Twit-tah
Hi..wonderful post! My husband and I also have been diagnosed with MM…very scary to say the least. So once we had kids (waited til I was 30) we never let them burn…protection to the max..after nitetime baths we used suntan lotion…then reapplied in the morning. As we both have it, our kids will have it. The hubby had the agressive one, mine not as bad. My kids have already had several biopsies..thus far all negative. They have heeded our warnings so far..but @ 19 and 21 its a battle. I wish more folks would use bottled tans and not tanning booths….which our doctors have all said speed up melanomas development…and if anyone has not had a skin check…just do it! It is fast and cheap and if you are lucky once a year. We need to do the every three month plan, but these are visits we will not miss.
Thanks for the reminder!
Thanks for sharing this!
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It’s a good thing that Jeff has eagle eyes! I stopped laying in the tanning bed years ago, and I try to wear sunscreen whenever I’m in the sun. But *try* is not really good enough when I read a story like this. Skin is the biggest organ on our body and I should take better care of it.
Thanks for the reminder!
I’m glad you are more careful now. I need to be as I am that girl out there in the middle of the ocean sitting in my little rubber boat paddling away. I do use sunscreen though, but I do spend a lot of time in the sun in the summer.
I should get checked though…..
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I feel terrible for you . . . I have extremely pale skin and have always been diligent about sunscreen and hats and cover-ups while all my friends would fry themselves brown. I never cared though –
stay DILIGENT and Pale!!
Thank goodness! I’m finally in fashion. I have been pasty pale my whole life.
My dad died from melanoma. I get checked every year. The appointment is easy to set up with a dermatologist and doesn’t take long. It’s great because they have these magnifying lenses and you can see every large black hair that has hidden from you for years. If only they would do waxing and mole checks at the same time.
Brindi @ food and fat’s last blog post..Spring Tonic
I have family members who have had melanoma and so it certainly is on my radar for things to be on the lookout for. Thanks for this reminder to go get a skin check.
As an aside, I have a question for you – for all of us, really – if we avoid sun exposure to the extreme to save our skin, then how do we get just the right amount to get the vitamin D that’s crucial for cellular function and over all health? What do you do??
Jessica – This Is Worthwhile’s last blog post..Quickie
I hate to “tan”. Because first off let’s face it, you have to get hot and I HATE being hot. Second, I don’t really tan. I just turn red and get freckledy every where. Not a great look.
But thanks for the reminder. Must buy sunscreen for the kiddos.
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@ Jessica, I’m hardly an expert on anything when it comes to health, but my understanding is that you need very little sun to get enough vitamin D. I just try to stay inside between 11-3 and wear sunscreen. But I do spend time outside and try not to be too crazy about it all…
That’s really scary Jill, I had no idea! Thank you for sharing this, I definitely need to get checked out before summer!
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I hate the sun… I’ve always been pale and stayed that way all summer.. I rarely tanned…. and even with my diligence I have the worst sun damage on my face… so unfair….
SPF 50 and a big sun hat are my best friends in the summer.
I go every 6 months to my dermatologist to get a full body check. I have been pale for years since I “learned” and now I get a tan the healthy way. Paint it on!!! Spray tans are the best. Too bad it only lasts for a week. I’d rather be pale than dead.
Much love from NJ,
Sue
xoxo
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What a scary experience, I’m glad you’re okay. Thanks for reminding everyone of the importance of sunscreen. Tan is out!
what timing…just noticed two questionable moles on my face…thanks for the reminder
Wow, girl. Thanks for sharing that. I promised myself no more laying out in the sun just to get a tan. Just not worth it. I am sure I will see some damage soon from all the sun I got.
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Amen for sunscreen, sister. Geez, that is some scary stuff to go through at 18!!
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I am glad you caught it early!
I have my skin checked every year. And I finally got my husband to make an appointment, too!
So sorry you’ve had to go through all that! I keep telling my girls…SPRAY TAN AND FAKE BAKE! Mostly they listen to me….but not always :(
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Five years ago I was also diagnosed with a melanoma. My aunt and uncle both died from melanoma. It’s highly genetic and not caused just by sun exposure … of course I live in Orange County so I get sun AND have a genetic predisposition. I have a scar on my lip from the melanoma removal and scars all over my body from biopsies. I still see an oncologist and have to get skin checks every 4 months. Melanoma is such a scary, scary cancer because it can go dormant for many years and resurface. I’m glad you publicized the need for skin checks – it’s so important!
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Hey, thanks for the reminder. It’s been ages since I’ve had mine checked, and I’m a fair Scandanavian, who used to bake in the sun when I was younger. I’m making an appointment tomorrow!
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I’ve been lucky so far, especially since I am in a high risk group (red heads). There was a time that I tried just about everything to get a tan. Fortunately I learned pretty quickly that it just wasn’t going to happen so I stopped trying.
I have had some brutal burns however, I’m in the clear so far but figure it’s just a matter of time.
Excellent post!! I just had some biopsies and a surgery on my arm for this very same thing. It took me 5+ years to get these moles checked out and thank goodness it wasn’t as serious as it could have been. Pale absolutely is the new tan! :)
Scary stuff. I’ve never had a tan. I’m either shockingly white or lobster red. Years ago I finally embraced it, and thankfully tans started going out of style. I drench my kids in sunscreen now though. Why take chances?
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Jill! I’ve been catching up on your blog, which only gets more and more amazing! So I had a basel cell on my nose last year. Not nearly as serious as what you had, but on my face . . . so, crappy nonetheless. There is only a little scar from what they removed, but what bums me out is that it will just be the first of many to follow. Most of the damage is already there, it’s a just a matter of them surfacing. Sucks. They say that most sun damage happens between 0-18 because kids/teens have so much exposure playing sports, camp, playgrounds, etc. Do you find the whole SPF thing utterly confusing? I don’t know what do use anymore.
wow. That is so scary! Thank God you are ok!
I actually have an appt to have my skin checked because I have a “new” birthmark that is freaking me out.
Great post to spark awareness. The word needs to get out about skin cancer.
Thanks for sharing!
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Thank you for sharing your story and promoting awareness. :)
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I’m so happy being pale is in. It takes me weeks to get a “base tan” and even then I have to bake daily to keep it up. So not worth it. That, and the whole cancer thing…yeah…pale it is!
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I was almost afraid to read your post because things like that freak me out tremendously. You see about 4 years ago i had a mole removed that was, thankfully, not cancerous but on it’s way to being so. As a result, i also get checked once a year and have my appointment coming up on a few weeks. Thanks for sharing your experience. And for anyone out there who still just has to have the golden look without any of the risk, I highly recommend airbrush tanning.
You’re so right. And those women who think that the leather look is still in are in for a surprise.
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We were all sun bunnies at 18. I used to swim at midday, then sit out on my towel to dry…here in Australia where’s there’s the highest incidence of skin cancer in the world. Glad you were OK. And great post about being vigilant with skin checks.
Whoops! Wrong Twitter name.
I am right along with you, I was only 13 when I had a mole magically appeared it seemed to me it bothered me so much it itched like crazy and was in the center of my back. I scratched at it so much I made it bleed and almost removed it my self, my parents got nervous and took me to the doctor. It was removed and biopsied and found to be non cancerous thankfully!!! However that would be only the fisrt of about 5 now scars all over my back and nervs eveytime I see something new. My docotor was nice enough to tell me to keep my back covered as much as possiable try to stay out of the sun wear sunscreen and maybe i’ll be lucky not to have cancer by the time i’m thirty!!! What a great thing to hear at 13 you know I have never tanned and am not the type who likes to lay in the sun either and I burn like theres no tomorrow with no problem even with 100spf sunscreen… But I am turning 21 in june and can happily say I am cancer and mole free for the last few years!! I’ts great to hear about others peoples stories though and to know what thay have been through!
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A tan just isn’t worth it in my book.
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