Comments on: Parenting Gay Children

By: Derik Boik

Derik Boik — Mon, 25 Mar 2013 13:42:20 +0000

I hate that an article even needs to be written about parenting gay children. I don’t think my daughter is gay but that doesn’t matter to me. It’s a non-issue that wouldn’t change how I feel about her at all! I made a video response to two other articles I read yesterday about parenting gay children: http://tmblr.co/ZV0xjxh3sTDF

I am glad you found acceptance but I can’t believe that I still live in a world where people with whether their child is gay, when there are so many legitimately bad things to worry about.

By: Wesley Davidson

Wesley Davidson — Mon, 13 Aug 2012 01:55:05 +0000

So glad you accepted your daughter’s sexual orientation. Family Acceptance Project @San Francisco State does studies on how a parent’s reaction to his GLBT child’s sexual orientation influences the child’s self-esteem, even into adulthood. Please see my advice blog for straight parents of GLBT kids: http://straightparentgaykid.blogspot.com.

By: Rachel

Rachel — Sat, 24 Dec 2011 19:25:24 +0000

I’m glad that you were finally able to accept your daughters’ sexual orientation. Perhaps she could have found a better way to tell you, but from your reaction I understand why she did what she did. I don’t want to be mean, but I must say that I’m saddened that your reaction was similar to when a parent finds out that their child has autism or cancer. Being gay is nothing like those diseases, because, well, it’s NOT a disease. My daughter has a speech delay and I was saddened by it at first; but now we love her for the way she is. It’s no longer sad, but just something we have to fight! We were upset at first because this was not her choice, it is a neurological disorder. I hope you apologized to your daughters about your reaction because if I were them I would be hurt. Who they date and marry has nothing to do with what you want.

By: Theresa

Theresa — Thu, 22 Dec 2011 03:47:09 +0000

Thank you all for you wonderful and heartfelt responses to my story. I have been searching for many years to find a place to share my journey and be able to talk with others about this. We love our children unconditionally and I have gained beautiful daughters in my family but it truly saddens me that there is still such a misunderstanding and non-acceptance of gay and lesbians. We need to find a way to make it safe for our children and families. I would love to share more of my story with anyone who wants to hear it and I would also love to be able to hear more from any of you. Thank you and Happy Holidays!

By: Nancy Davis Kho

Nancy Davis Kho — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 15:03:23 +0000

Earlier this year close friends of ours let us know that their beautiful and dear 13 year old daughter had come out to them, and their reaction was,”We are so glad you trusted us enough to tell us. How can we support you?” That, I thought, is how to do it right. As the mom said, “What do you hope for your kids when they grow up? That they will be happy, that they will be successful, that they will be loved. None of that changes.”

The daughter had asked her mom to ask ME to tell my 13 year old, her close friend since babyhood. One day in the car I cleared my throat and launched into a “Your friend figured out she is gay, but that doesn’t change anything, she is exactly the same person, our job is to make her feel accepted and protected…” and on and on until my kid stopped me, a pitying look on her face. “Mom. It’s not a big deal. You can let it go.”

So I think there’s all kinds of hope for this younger generation.

By: NYC Single Mom

NYC Single Mom — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 11:53:28 +0000

I love your honesty about how you felt. Although I am the most liberal minded person but I think when it comes to our kids we have certain dreams that you had, get married, have kids, etc and I am no different, I know I would accept my daughter if she was gay but I would be a tad sad only because being gay is not easy but if its who she is so be it.

Our child’s feelings for us will never change, that I know.

By: Headacheslayer

Headacheslayer — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 10:02:34 +0000

Thank you so much for sharing this with us. My kids are 16 and 9 and while I don’t know who they will choose, I always wanted to be accepting of them, no matter what. I used to be extremely closeminded until my heart said “What if?” And I knew I would love them no matter what.

Turns out, it was good for me in the long run. I realized 3 yrs ago that I was bisexual and it’s been easier to accept myself and for my kids to accept me (and hubby too) because of my attitude change.

This was good for me to read as a daughter. My sister thinks my mom knows, somehow. I don’t KNOW how…I’m married (19 yrs) and like I said, have 2 kids–I do have a GF but have only mentioned her as “my friend”.

I want so much to be able to be fully me. I’m just too scared. I’m glad your kids had a mom they knew they could trust to love them fully. They are truly blessed!

By: A

Wed, 21 Dec 2011 08:45:48 +0000

THIS!
Just because your kids are LGB, doesn’t mean there isn’t marriage or kids in their future. And lets face it, just because they’re straight, doesn’t mean there is. Marriage amongst men and women is fading as an institution and so many couples are either choosing to forgo children or have fertility issues. So, your chances of weddings and grandkids has more to do with blind luck than with who your child falls in love with! I’ll just be happy if they find love – period.

By: Charlie Michelle

Charlie Michelle — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 07:53:59 +0000

I’m baffled as to why the phrase, “What did I do to fail her?” even came up. If you’d done something differently, would she have been straight? Don’t think so.

People treat homosexuality like some ind of disease–something a person is unfortunate to have contracted. Something perhaps a parent would have wanted to prevent.

Yeah, so growing up gay can really suck, especially if you’re in the closet or in a town where it’s not prevalent. But as adults who are fully capable of living their lives to the fullest, why is homosexuality considered a disadvantage? Most gay couples I know are happier and more stable than any typical straight couples. Just because the person they love is the same gender doesn’t automatically mean they’re destined for a life of hardship and struggle.

By: Cat Davis

Cat Davis — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 07:35:03 +0000

After reading this … I’ve been sitting here for a few moments asking myself … what if my son was gay? what if either of my daughters were gay? … I racked my brain and the simple conclusion I came to …. I don’t care. I don’t have dreams for my children in terms of getting married or having babies … I’m actually not looking forward to be called “grandma” ever … I just want them to be happy. Nothing more, nothing less, just happy. If that means two brides or two grooms walking down the aisle or a life of solitude and lots of cats … I’m cool with that too.

Now my husband … there might be some hand holding and discussions to deal with for him.