You should know that I love birthdays. Truly. I love the never-ending countdown until the big day. I love to spoil my children rotten, waking them up with pancakes and balloons and making them feel like it’s the best day of the year. I love buying them gifts, wrapping them and hiding them, eagerly anticipating their reactions. It’s so much fun. Having said that, I’m not a big fan of birthday parties. As a host I find them draining, expensive and stressful. As a guest they rank pretty low on my list of what I’d like to be doing on a Saturday afternoon, slightly above a trip to the pediatrician and several notches below spending a rainy day at home.
For Lily’s third birthday, I handmade every stupid invitation from scratch, slaving over them for weeks. I cut, I printed, I drew, I glued, I tied. It was work. And they were good. A few days later she found a cheap Cinderella fill-in-the-blank in her cubby and asked why she didn’t get to have the beautiful princess invitation too? It was so much nicer that what she had. Lovely. Her most recent party was a joint effort during which I learned that I am way to much of a control freak to ever plan a party with anyone again. Ever.
When one of the kids get invited to a party, it’s rubbed mercilessly in the others face for weeks. Once the big day comes, the cheap trinkets the attendee brings home are suddenly the most desirable toys in the house. The fights over them can last for days. Balloons inevitably end up in the ceiling fan and the sugar crashes far outweigh the high that preceded them.
And what about the blowing out of the candles? I think this is the oddest of traditions. When else is it considered acceptable for a kids to spit all over communal food? After I’ve survived the pure chaos of a party, your kid needs to spit all over the cake that mine is about to consume? And then take another deep gasp and do it again? And again? How difficult is it to blow out five candles in one breath? And this is after the icing has inevitably been taste tested by a slew of grimy pre-school fingers. Yuck.
Am I the the only one gagging over spit on cake, or do I have some company here? Or have I just forever ruined birthdays for the rest of you?
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I handmade my daughters first birthday invitations and not-a-one since. In fact last year, I did evite.com….at least I let her pick which font type she wanted!
I’m totally with you on the b-day parties. Too much work (before and after) and way to expensive – parties and their themes and games have gotten WAY out of control.
futureblackmail’s last blog post..PARENTS JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND
OH great post! And lovely picture, too. :)
I am sooo with you on the ‘spit on the cake’ – I watch horrified as another child blows out his candles and gets his germs all over the cake and am just as horrified that my son will soon be eating this germ infested cake and will likely catch the cold that the birthday boy has! ;) I’m so glad I am not alone in this feeling!
And yes, it is kind of stressful planning the ‘perfect’ party. Wow for you for making hand made invites! (And of course, your daughter only wanted the ‘Cinderella’ ones… sigh!)
Birthday parties are a lot of work. Keeping it simple is the best way…
Loukia’s last blog post..5 reasons I love being a MOM!
I’m so done with birthday parties. First, it was the big family blow out until they were preschoolers – two months in a row, as the girls’ birthdays are October and November. And try to schedule a party when the November birthday is around Thanksgiving. Yeah, right.
Then it was the friends’ parties – bowling, painting pottery, crafts, Build-a-Bear. I outsourced their birthdays until they were 8. This year, they will turn 12 and 9 – I now do lunch or dinner and a movie. I allow them to invite several friends and we go see whatever age-appropriate movie is. Again, challenging with the November birthday – last year we wound up going to the movies in a snowstorm. But they love being out with their friends, and I’m willing to shell out some $$ for someone else to take care of the entertainment and the mess.
CT Mom’s last blog post..Happy Easter!
You should check out: http://www.birthdayswithoutpressure.org/
I read it last night and I think its funny I found a post about birthday parties! I just had my sons 2nd birthday. I picked up a cake at the bakery, invited people to the park, and let them all play all afternoon.
It was so unstressful.
Meg’s last blog post..Red Light Special
We’re not there yet, since our only is 7 months old. But I plan to boycott bringing her and future chillins to birthday parties altogether, if that’s possible…or would that make me too mean? We’re not going to have big parties for them either – but we will make the day as special as possible – breakfast of pancakes and hiding presents sound like great ideas to me!!!
christy’s last blog post..Our Easter Morning
One word: cupcakes.
Each kid gets their own… and the birthday boy/girl only has to blow the candle that’s in their own cupcake. No more spittle on the communal cake!
Last year I had one joint party for the girls. In order to try and save some money, we decided to have it in the “party room” of Lakesite’s town hall buidling. Which meant we had to do all the setting up and decorating… then clean-up afterwards. When the party was over, Shane had the nerve to say he would have rather spent money on having their party at some place like Partyville… where THEY do all the work for you.
I was thisclose to stabbing him with a purple plastic fork (which went with the Hannah Montana plates, natch).
Shannon’s last blog post..She still has some learnin’ to do…
(love that name above futureblackmail!)
Hand made each and every one? OK, I have to give it up to you–I would never have the patience for that.
And that cupcake idea above is brillant!
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The cake spit is very gross! The darkened lights and the glow of the candles allow you to see the spittle in relief as it flies through the air and lands on the cake… disgusting.
KathyB!’s last blog post..8 signs today yesterday was Easter
Hate them – Birthday parties are torture for sure!!! I’ve been known to tell my daughter that the birthday party falls at the same time as her gymnastics class or the two parties are at the same time and she has to pick one. It might make me a mean mom, but it’s cut down on the number of parties we have to attend and the amount of slobber she ingests! As for our parties, they have always gotten to invite the number of friends that equals their age. 5 years old = 5 friends. It really cuts down on the expense and they still have a blast!
DawnS’s last blog post..Happy Easter!
EEEEWWW! Now that I think about it- that’s disgusting! I already have some problems with cake- mainly the frosting. A little smear will do me just fine, but any more than that and it becomes painfully obvious that I am just eating lard. Yummy, yummy lard.
Caitlin’s last blog post..Easter Preview
I think it’s ironic that you don’t like to receive gifts but you love showering them. However, I totally understand it because I’m the same way. I would be totally happy Christmas morning to give all my gifts away to others because it’s much more fun to give than receive!
We’ve only been through one birthday party and I think the first one is more a celebration for the parents (like we were saying “we did it and survived”) than for our son. He was happiest with the wrapping paper.
T Rex Mom’s last blog post..Easter Weekend…
“When else is it considered acceptable for a kids to spit all over communal food?”
Ha! Brilliant!
Oh good, a whole bunch of stuff I didn’t even think about. Being the control freak that I am I started working on the plans for my son’s 1st birthday party a few days ago…he’s four months old! I think putting the candle on his smash cake just moved to the front of the to do list.
Kaish never cares one way or the other about invitations or party themes or even what presents he is getting. All he cares about is seeing his friends. It’s an adventure for sure : ). She is so pretty!
Life with Kaishon’s last blog post..How many eggs did you find?
I have 3 boyz, ages 7 and under. We are in the THROES of b-day party madness. It seems we have at least one (or 2!) classmate b-day parties a week. It’s crazy.
(And the mean snarky side of me thinks that parents are hosting these parties so that their child gets a ton of gifts. Am I wrong? It just seems greedy.)
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I think I’ll do cupcakes when we start the whole birthday party routine….. or have a small one for the birthday boy then a bigger one for everyone to eat off w/out the whole blowing candle ordeal. And I for sure wont’ be making invitations….they will be bought! :)
Love the picture! just beautiful.
Oh, the pressure of parties. I did so well, up until this year. We did them at home, just a few friends, fun games, nothing big or difficult…Then this year I collapsed under the pressure. Invited his entire class to the gymnastics place, bought a cake…It was awful and I promise never, ever to do it again…whimper…
Sticky’s last blog post..Oh, my Hell!
Stop. Please. I’m planning Bud’s first birthday party now. It was supposed to be a “small” dinner party with family and then camping for the weekend. Pshht. That is out the window. It is now a BBQ, with a “theme” and at least 25 people attending. I’m not sure how or why I do this to myself.
You will be happy to know that he does have his own smash cake so he will not be spitting on anyone’s food.
Jennifer’s last blog post..The joys of Easter, Part One
AMEN!
I am SO not looking forward to my daughter’s upcoming party. Her B-day is the end of March. I actually have to coordinate between spring break vacation, Easter, lent, and a new dilema… some of my friends will be at their dad’s that weekend… they won’t be able to come. Never thought someone else’s divorce would effect my kids b-day party. Well, her party was put off till the end of April. It just seemed easier.
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I too hate parties. Luckily, my older two want ‘big’ gifts now and realize a party is a waste of money. They now choose the gift plus a friend to spend the night over parties that bring in $10 junk gifts.
And the three year old…no choice. Gifts from family and cake and he is as happy as can be.
I don’t do the bday kid’s spit either. Ew.
SassyStephanie’s last blog post..WW – another run in with the law
I make a point to always put the first grimy finger-print into a cake before it’s been blown. That way I know I’m only getting the flu from those oh-so-clean looking cake decorators who probably don’t pick their nose with the same glove they use to make green leaves and purple roses.
I love that you make a big deal about birthdays with the balloons and pancakes (those dinosaur pancakes were so cute!) and gifts – and it’s so much more personal, I think, when it’s just Mom/Dad/sibblings.
Ryan Ashley Scott’s last blog post..New Doggy Door
I meant siblings, not sibbbbblings..
Ryan Ashley Scott’s last blog post..New Doggy Door
I totally despise kids’ parties. Or grown up parties for that matter.
Don’t even get me started on the whole pinata debacle.
SWIRL GIRL’s last blog post..An Open Letter to The Pilot of the Pilot
This one MUST be sent to Parents magazine, it needs to be published. Perfectly written and SOOOO true!
Could Lily’s outfit be any cuter?
courtney’s last blog post..Coco + confetti eggs =
okay, I will now address this issue in tonight’s post. I have been meaning to write about this one job I had that is right on the subject of just this.
for the record, hate the parties. Waayyyy too expensive and I have them at my home. Go figure
jessica’s last blog post..Perhaps, I Should Have Thought This One Out….
Yeah. You’ve totally ruined birthday cakes for me forever. Thanks a lot, hag.
Lily looks absolutely precious.
I am the same way about birthday parties. I loathe them. I love to plan them, but I don’t actually want to be in the same *room* with it when it happens. All. those. children. ARGH! And the mess! Heaven help me! So help me God child, if you get chocolate cake ground into my carpet one more time… you’ll have to call child protective services on me! Yes. You better run, you little heathen.
I can’t wait until next year… :
Blissful Babe’s last blog post..Waiting For My Bliss.
Yes, you totally ruined cake for me now. LOL. I’m kidding! But I do know what you mean. I was SO excited for Delia’s first birthday party. I made the invitiations (designed them myself and then husband printed them for me), planned out the food, the theme, the activities, blah, blah, blah. It ended up being a LOT of work. Thankfully my parents were in town to help us. Next year, Stu and I are going to do family only. Or something not at our house maybe. ha!
Kelly Deneen’s last blog post..Delia’s First Easter Egg Hunt
I’m enjoying my toddler/pre-school age phase right now… My kids love to sing happy birthday and like the idea of parties – but they think a daycare party involving 15 minutes of cake is just splendid. They’re so easy to please right now – I love it! And I do not look forward to the hoopla you describe above.
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I too dread B-day parties. I’d much rather celebrate as a family than attend (unless my close adult friends are there with their kids) or plan one. I love how your feelings echo my life!
I’m with ya babe!
ViolinMama’s last blog post..Easter Sunday – 2009
I always ask for a small piece of cake with as little frosting as possible and then scrape the rest off the top. My niece adores frosting and always asks for mine, I give it her gladly. They all think I dislike frosting… the truth is I dislike frosting that’s been spit all over. Luckily we do pies for holidays or my secret would be out… No… Even though they are my nieces and nephews, I don’t like their germs all over my cake.
Now, I’m just trying to think of a fun tradition to start to avoid the candles thing when my kids are little.
Barbara’s last blog post..Monday Musings {49}
Just survived two children’s birthdays parties two weekends in a row – in between I was suppposed to celebrate mine, yeah right. We celebrated my daughter’s JANUARY bday on APril 4, pushed it off until spring so we could take everyone to a camel farm. We celebrated my son’s the following weekend – outdoor grill and soccer. Easy. The kids loved it. After all the superorganized theme parties they attend, they were thrilled to just be allowed to play. (The boys are 7) My suggestion – plan to have kids in the summer – its way easier than worrying about what to do with 10 screaming 7 year olds in November!
PS- came across you and your blog through the Problogger course. I have visitors in town for the first half of APril so NOT time to do a lot of the homework right now, but I am checking in daily. Will check in with you again as well once the guests are gone! I JUST started a blog on twins and large families – the writing is fun and easy, but setting up something like THIS is WORK. WOuld LOVE to know how you do it with your 3 little ones at home! You go girl!
Christine Steinmann’s last blog post..Dark Child
I totally agree with the anti-birthday party movement! My son is 11 and has had only one “party” We did the whole pizza and video game thing when he turned 4 – only had a couple close friends and their kids there, though. I think it is crazy now how at my sons school – if you handed out one invitation in class – you had to invite the whole class… The one way out of that was to mail individual invitations to the homes – I asked him to help get the addresses for me one year so I could mail invitations, and he came up empty-handed. Now I definitely don’t want 25-30 kids running around my house… #1 – I have never lived anywhere that could support that size of a party #2 – kids are great – my kids – and I know that sounds awful – but there are very few kids I have seen who I can tolerate – whether it be manners or actions or just talking over everyone. #3 – that is just entirely too expensive with enough cake & ice cream – and if the kids are expecting party bags. argh!!! you got me on a roll!!! :) – point being – I AGREE!
Becca’s last blog post..Easter
Birthdays of all ages should be a strict just send cash policy. Nothing else. Plain envelope. Cash inside. No names. No return address. Just cash.
Ryan’s last blog post..Week 28
I don’t envy you this… I have enough trouble with my own birthday party.
That picture IS priceless, though!
LiLu’s last blog post..I Can Handle "Manic", But What the Eff Is This Monday
I agree. I was totally into parties for Hayden. He had 3 of them and now I stopped. I feel bad, the babies totally got the short end of the stick.
Jen, buried with children’s last blog post..Goooooood Morning!
I detest children’s birthday parties. We always just do family get-togethers and maybe a fun family outing. That’s it. No strange children to spit on our cakes, thank you very much
Tiffany’s last blog post..Post-Holiday Let Down
My kids never really go to birthday parties and that is one of the reasons. I always think of things like what if that child is sick. When people comes to my house for my kids birthday’s they know I either make one or buy one for the guests and make one or buy one for the birthday kid. That way my child does not ruin anyone’s cake. I am glad to hear I am not the only one that thinks things like that. My husband always says it’s no big deal. I am the type that likes to know what my kids are eating is safe. I really love that picture. I can never seem to get a picture to come out like that. That is really beautiful. Your little girl is beautiful too.
Oh, I have issues, alright.
For that reason one of my children has never even had a birthday party (he doesn’t know yet that he’s missing anything)………I do big family parties, but those don’t count b/c I don’t feel the same pressure. But, inviting friends? Forget it. My older girls only get a friend party every other year.
AND, I rank invites to birthday parties BELOW visits to the pediatrician. I just plain don’t like spending my afternoon that way. :)
angie’s last blog post..Tuesday’s Tribute-Easter Egg Hunts
Absolutely not – nothing to ruin! I don’t like birthday parties, no matter who they are for. I feel exactly as you do about them. My favorite way to celebrate one of our birthdays? A lovely breakfast, a delicious dinner with cake, and then on the weekend, a prolonged celebration where we get to go out somewhere fun and do stuff together all day long.
Also, the control-freak thing? SO with you on that one.
Elisa’s last blog post..I’m not an island. And neither are you.
I despise A L L things birthday. I just can’t stand any of it. The whining the crying, the headaches, and that’s just me, the kids are an entirely different ball of misery. LOL. Cute post.
shelley’s last blog post..
Hmmm…I never quite thought of it that way before. About the spit on cake thing.
I don’t do birthday parties of others. That’s daddy’s job. To go to all the birthday parties with the kids.
I DO not do parties any longer! TOO MUCH work – I feel like a crazy person at the end! The cake – I NEVER eat the dessert – ever! I swear – I always see the cake cutter lick her finger and then stick it back on another piece of cake!
i never thought about the germ spreading, but it is funny how many breaths it can take to blow out so few candles! it is tiring for sure – we’ve thankfully moved on a bit now the girls are older!
scrappysue’s last blog post..a couple of layouts
I so feel your pain… I busted my ass every year to make dane’s b-day party SPECIAL… i would work weeks planning the big day… I let my husband do it last year… slapped the thing together in a few hours & guess what…it was THE BEST BIRTHDAY E V E R …
Are you freaken kidding me?
American in Norway’s last blog post..Just needed a breather…. Tag…
You know, I never questioned the blowing out candles bit. But you’re right. Who came up with the idea of lighting candles on cakes?! Interesting…
And the cheapest stuff is always the kids’ favorites. You should know that by now.
Rhea’s last blog post..Breaking the Law
That was an amazing party for her.. You’re a great mom.. I also love preparing parties for my kids, as well as they also love it.
Cathy’s last blog post..Pokeman Party Ideas