From Here on Out, You’re Going to Get Wider
It’s week 25, Scary Mommies — on a scale of one to 4 billion, how freaking tired are you of people asking what the baby’s name is going to be?!
If it feels like one of the biggest parenting decisions you’ll ever make, maybe that’s because it’s next to impossible to find a name you and your partner agree on, or because your kid will be STUCK WITH WHATEVER YOU PICK FOREVER. It’s a mighty big decision, and the best advice we can give you is not to share your picks with the peanut gallery because you can’t please everyone and the feedback will drive you bat-shit fucking crazy (speaking from experience here.)
Your uterus is now the size of a soccer ball, which is a nice way of saying you feel like you swallowed a pillowcase full of lead marbles that’s now wedged between your ribcage and your bladder. Instead of your bump growing up and forward, you can start getting wider at this point, too. Oh, the joys! Prepare for some lady on the subway to tell you that “carrying wide” means you’re having a boy, followed almost immediately by the woman at the bakery counter telling you it means you’re having a girl, followed almost immediately by you punching both of them in the face because you feel wide enough as it is without strangers mentioning it all the time, dammit!
You might also feel some Braxton Hicks contractions, which are nothing to be concerned about as long as they’re infrequent (no more than four an hour) and irregular (real contractions get increasingly intense and closer together).
That sassy baby of yours can stick her tongue out already, and her skin is getting smoother as a layer of fat plumps up her wrinkles. Yay for chubby babies!