Pregnancy Brain: Basically You’re Dumb Now
Has the reality of pregnancy hit you yet, or are you in a state of total disbelief? Or maybe it depends on the hour — most pregnant women can go through periods of extreme elation, uncontrollable sobbing and indescribable rage in less time than it takes for their partners to get home from the grocery with that chocolate chunk ice cream they demanded for breakfast. Welcome to the club!
You might have already gained a little weight thanks to cravings, or maybe you lost some weight thanks to pregnancy-related nausea and vomiting. (Ha! Yeah, thanks. Thanks a lot for the two-bag-per-day Doritos binges and that constant barfy feeling, pregnancy.)
There’s a 75% chance you’re suffering from morning sickness now, or will start to feel the effects in the next couple weeks. If the enormous prenatal vitamin is making you feel even worse, ask your doctor if you can substitute children’s chewables with a folic acid supplement until things ease up in the second trimester. A vitamin does no good if you puke it right up!
Your baby has tripled in size now, but is still only as big as a BB (yes, like the ones we know are WAY TOO DANGEROUS for our kids to play now, thank you very much). Baby’s eyes and limb buds forming, and he or she now has measurable brain waves.
You, however, don’t have any measurable brain waves as you’re likely experiencing the very real symptom of “pregnancy brain.” Pregnancy brain excuses all questionable behavior until your baby arrives, and then transitions beautifully into “baby brain.” Basically? You’re dumb now. Oh, well.