10 Barbie Dolls For Real Life

I’m not a Barbie hater… I’m actually a reformed Barbie lover. I had millions of Barbies. I also had poor self-esteem when I was an adolescent and tween, so perhaps there was a connection. But still, I’m not ready to blame it all on Barbie.

I see the way my daughter looks at her own plastic piece of perfection with adorning eyes, and I wonder “Am I doing permanent damage?” It’s not that I think the unrealistic characteristics Barbie portrays are dangerous in and of themselves, but I do feel that she could at least meet us moms half way in teaching our daughters what’s true in this world.

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If there were just a few more real life Barbie’s out there, maybe the Beach Barbies and Princess Skippers wouldn’t bother me so much. So I give you, ten ways Barbie could have kept it real …

1. Winter Weight Barbie – She’s a slightly chunkier version of regular Barbie. Think Barbie after the Holidays.

Real Life Barbie Doll

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2. Yoga Pants Barbie – No, not “Workout Barbie” or “Fitness Barbie” … “Yoga Pants Barbie.” Big difference.

Real Life Barbie Doll

3. Sleep Deprived Barbie – Bloodshot eyes, swollen lids and no patience – this Barbie could also be known as “New Mom Barbie” or “Hungover Barbie”.

Real Life Barbie Doll

4. Breastfeeding Barbie – Her breasts are engorged constantly and no one, except her baby, is ever allowed near them.

Breastfeeding Barbie

5. Sun Damaged Barbie – This is Beach Barbie after a few years of using little to no SPF. (Shouldn’t the children learn early?)

Real Life Barbie Doll

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6. Workaholic Barbie – Workaholic Barbie in some cases doubles as “Primary Wage Earner Barbie” and comes with a Ken doll hanging from her coattails.

Real Life Barbie Doll

7. Mom Jeans Barbie – I mean … she wears mom jeans.

Real Life Barbie Doll

8. Bad Haircut Barbie – I felt so strongly about this one when I was a child that I decided to make all of my dolls “Bad Haircut Barbie” – this way kids won’t have to take matters into their own hands.

Real Life Barbie Doll

9. No Make-up Barbie – Let’s get the makeup tattoos laser removed, shall we Barbie?

Real Life Barbie Doll

10. Au Naturale Barbie – She’s got hair on her legs and is slightly smelly.

Natural barbie

And just for kicks, I’ll add an 11th one to the mix …

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11. Mommy Barbie – She’s got a superhero cape and magical powers.

Mommy Barbie

(I said we wanted to keep it REAL for the kids, remember?)

About the writer

Cindy is a two-time rookie mom, pop-culture junkie, Nacho enthusiast and proud co-founder of Binkies n Drinkies. Virginia is a hipster-wanna-be, photographer and mommy of a 3-year-old girl, with a baby on the way. Both women are pretty sure they'd be lying in a ditch somewhere in South Jersey if they didn't have such awesome girlfriends. Check out their site or their Binkies n Drinkies Facebook page.


18 inch doll furniture 1 year ago

Right here is the right site for everyone who really wants to find out about
this topic. You understand a whole lot its almost
tough to argue with you (not that I personally will
need to…HaHa). You definitely put a fresh spin on a topic
which has been discussed for decades. Great stuff, just great!

Amber 3 years ago

This cracked me up. The breastfeeding Barbie made me giggle the most. I like how she has her hand up like, “Piss the f off dude.”

Arnebya 3 years ago

I can’t get past workaholic Barbie’s furniture. Damn.

Lina 3 years ago


Ilene 3 years ago

I 100% get the distinction between the yoga pants Barbie and the fitness Barbie. I would be in the yoga pants for sure! Love the winter weight Barbie too! That would be me but in yoga pants! This is adorable!

Lindsey 3 years ago

Hilarious! The bad-haircut is one of the best lessons we all had to learn… hopefully you learned it by seeing your friend’s bad-haircut Barbies and avoided the gut-wrenching remorse of having done it to one of your own.

Debbie 3 years ago

this was funny!!

i really enjoyed the sleep deprived mommy as my baby is crying herself to sleep.

How about mini van Barbie…. includes the sleep deprived mommy and baby and toddler and goldfish crackers smushed in the seats!

I love these animation/photo things. http://www.diaryofthewhippys.com/ also does these and they are funny too.

Mama D 3 years ago

How about exhausted, nauseated pregnant Barbie?? Accompanying toddler optional!! :)

Charity 3 years ago

What a great post!

Veronica Andrews 3 years ago

Ms Jill…..sent you a real Barbie Doll in ol fashioned e-mail.

Supportive of the girls politics or not…She stood for what she believed and the pink sneakers shall long be a battle cry for being
a battle symbol for Women who are not afraid to STAND for womens rights…

Laurie 3 years ago

Hahaha. Those are awesome! You should throw in Postpartum Barbie for the next round :)

Anita @ Losing Austin 3 years ago

Yes! One of my best friends looks like a real life Barbie- the 49 year old version. I kind of hate her, but at least she’s older than me and that makes it more okay. That, and she’s sweet and wonderful, which almost makes me hate her more!

But me? I’m a cross between about 4 of yours- I think they call it “hot mess” Barbie.

Ariana 3 years ago

No make-up Barbie, Yoga pants Barbie, and Mom jeans Barbie, from the new Phoning it in Barbie collection.

Brenda Dion 3 years ago

Super creative. Will never look at a Barbie the same way again. Is it just me or does Bad Haircut Barbie look like Drag Queen Barbie (which Mattel totally needs!).

Stephanie R 3 years ago

HAHA! I think I relate most with Yoga Pants Barbie.

Amanda Martin 3 years ago

Brilliant. This could apply to so many toys. How about Always Late Postman Pat who chucks your fragile parcel in the wheelie bin?

kiara brown 3 years ago

what about pms barbie?

Cindy 3 years ago

It’s so much fun to see all of your comments everyone! Each of these Barbies are alive and well – and available for purchase – in my mind. Thank you for your feedback on them! Even better than creating this post, is seeing all of your awesome ideas for MORE Real Life Barbies. (Are you listening Mattel?!) 😉

Stephanie (www.whencrazymeetsexhaustion.com) 3 years ago


Can we add Menopausal Barbie? She’s always sweating and eating chocolate.

grownandflown 3 years ago

Actually, the winter weight Barbie looks a bit like a midlife Barbie….I speak from experience and might just think of my puffiness as due to prolonged winters going forward. thanks!

Amanda 3 years ago

Absolutely fantastic!!!

rebecca at thisfineday 3 years ago

ha ha! I love this. Hang over Barbie- LOL! I’m also starting to cringe as my 5 year old is loving the Barbie. I decided I didn’t care (though I really do) and let her have some Barbies anyway. Just last night she was looking at naked Barbie when she pointed to Barbie’s rack and said, “Are these big boobs?” …. Ugh.

MomChalant 3 years ago

One of the most genuine, greatest, and hilarious posts I’ve read in a while. Definitely sharing.

Jennifer Rustgi 3 years ago

Love it! The pics are hilarious :))

Kelly 3 years ago

Why is Jimmy Carr making coffee for No Makeup Barbie?? This is very confusing for me.

    Moominskii 3 years ago

    Hahaha! I was just wondering exactly that!!! I love Jimmy. :)

LBM 3 years ago

I had so many Barbies growing up…I saved all of the stuff, the dream house, cottage, tons of furniture, dream store, dream cars, dream pool, etc….I figured I would pass them all to my daughters someday.

My husband shoots blue, so off on ebay it all went.

But I think these barbies would be great. I especially like no make-up Barbie, and winter weight Barbie. Maybe they could come up with dieting Barbie, who stares longingly at her closet filled with nice clothes, but cannot wear them because she is perpetually dieting…. Not that I would know about that :)

Rachel 3 years ago

My girls had oodles of Barbies and only one Ken… what did they do when they needed more boys? They performed a plastic mastectomy on one and gaver her new ‘doo. Can you say sex change Barbie?

    Kaitlyn 3 years ago

    Of all the things my sister and I did to our barbies I can’t believe we never thought of that. Brilliant!! Your girls are creative problem solvers!

Tanya 3 years ago


Erica 3 years ago

I love this! Especially the bad hair barbie – My mom recently gave my daughter some of my old barbies and almost every one had their hair chopped off! I totally remember thinking I was going to give them awesome haircuts!

Jen Snyder 3 years ago

Fabulous! We are in the throes of breast feeding Barbie over here. Don’t care how they look–hands off! :)

Ashly 3 years ago

This post is absolutely hilarious and should be put on the shelves of every store! LOL Love this!

jasbeeray 3 years ago

I like breastfeeding barbie! This post reminds me of an episode in The Simpsons where Liza goes to the owner of Malibu Dream doll maker and demands her to make dolls tat would teach young girls good values.

    Ally 3 years ago

    Lion heart Lisa! But she couldn’t compete with new shoes for Malibu Stacey…sigh.

Kristen Mae at Abandoning Pretense 3 years ago

Genius. Sleep-deprived Barbie was my favorite. Is she in stores yet? Because I want one. :)

Debbie 3 years ago

This is good. You have a great point here and it is very well made. When it comes to Barbies let make it the real world for these little girls instead of a glamour magazine.

We can even make the house cleaning mom with the apron on and add a little dirt from the baby, if you know what I mean. Do like the sleep deprived Barbie.

Janine Huldie 3 years ago

This seriously was awesome and also as a reformed Barbie lover, you nailed it with this post. Truly loved it!!!

The Next Step 3 years ago

LOL that’s hilarious! I especially love the Glamor Shots of “Bad Hair Cut Barbie” – and, this may actually be the funnies thing – did “Au Naturale” push Ken over the cliff?? awesome!

Tinne from Tantrums and Tomatoes 3 years ago

Sun Damaged Barbie looks a bit like Paris Hilton…

Mama and the City 3 years ago

Laughing hard on this post.

I love the take on it and I love the pictures. My favourite, by a hair, sleep-deprived mommy. Love the zombie look.

And I repeat, I love the take on this post. There’s already too much hater around poor Barbie that it’s nice to see another side of it.

Well done.

Nina 3 years ago

This is BRILLIANT!!!!!


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