5 Reasons Your Kids Will Need Therapy

How many times since you kids were born have you gotten your Spanx in a knot worrying about them? Trying to be an awesome mom made me a rotten wife and a fire-hose of anxious energy, so I made a decision to stop worrying and start saving for their therapy later. Why?

1. We don’t have much control over the way our kids turn out. Their DNA does pretty much a lot of the deciding when it comes to the path they’ll take in life, and then they do the rest. Some kids let their parent’s influence them and others are pretty much shouting a big fat fuck you from the minute they come out.

2. We have no idea what we’re doing. Even if you desperately wanted to become a Mom, doesn’t mean you had a motherhood manual inserted into your brain at birth. And it’s okay not to know what you’re doing. That’s what motherhood is; 18 years of not having a clue.

3. Perfect children don’t exist. No matter what you do you cannot raise a perfect child.

4. We’ve turned into parenting maniacs. In 2014, we work more than ever, spend more time with our kids than ever and despite there being only 24 blessed hours in one day; we’re trying to do everything brilliantly. It can’t be done, but we keep on trying.

5. We can’t control our kids every waking moment, and even when they get a little bit broken by life, we can only do so much. We can’t solve all of their problems or take away their pain. Just like we did, they’ll have to learn to handle life in their own way.

And the brutal truth is that if they do end up on the shrink’s couch – they’ll blame you anyway. Because being a parent is to accept that failure is inevitable no matter how hard we try.

So, why not give yourself a break, decide to buck the trend and refuse to worry about your little ones, at least some of the time. Then, when the time comes and they pay a few hundred dollars to figure out why you raised them like you did, you can applaud them for their courage and tell them, that like all parents, you just made it up as you went along.