Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy
Latest posts by Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy (see all)
- Dear Judgy Mothers on My Website… - June 15, 2013
- 10 Skills Every Mother Should Possess - June 10, 2013
- Perfection (Or pretty close) - June 3, 2013
I would never proclaim to be the world’s best driver. I have my fair share of speeding tickets and weird depth perception issues that make it impossible for me to drive comfortably next to trucks. I have a terrible sense of direction and whenever I attempt to drive without the assistance of my car’s navigation system, I inevitably end up lost in the middle of nowhere, or even worse, in the middle of sketchy streets lined with hookers and drug dealers. (That even occasionally occurs when I press the “avoid major highways” button as well. Like, yesterday, for example.) I’m not entirely convinced that if I took a driving test today I would pass.
But… I am the only one that I feel comfortable driving my three kids around. I feel OK with Jeff behind the wheel, and maybe my parents too. Other than that, though, I simply can’t do it. I know this about myself, but I forgot.
We hired a sitter to help out from 3-6 so that I could have a couple more work hours during the day and have someone keep an eye on them while I make dinner. She’s smart and great with kids and has worked at day care centers and as a nanny. The plan was to have her pick the kids up at school and bring them home. It was a good plan. Except, that I called her this morning to change her arrival time until 4 to meet us here, instead. The thought of someone else being the first to see all of them after a long day and carting them fifteen minutes home was making me crazy. I just couldn’t do it.
I know that someday, I’ll need to relinquish some control. But, I’m just not there yet. Not even close.
{ 42 comments… read them below or add one }
You are not crazy. You are smart and if you can manage to drive them yourself you should. I have NEVER let a sitter drive my children. But I do let my friend, who is a horrible horrible driver, so maybe I should re-think that. I guess I don’t mind if she drives them because she cares about them like I care about her kids. But I digress, you are not crazy. Scary most definitely, but not crazy.
.-= Kathryn´s last blog ..Accentuate the Negative- part 1 =-.
Aww, that’s the cutest. You want them to see you first. You’ll change that when they start to say, “Fine,” to every question you ask them about their day.
I still like to be the first face my kids see in the morning. That smile, when they wake up, is priceless. But I’d happily relinquish breakfast making:)
I know just what you mean! I was that way with my kids, and I still have issues with it – even though three of them are grown and driving themselves!
.-= Elizabeth´s last blog ..Introductions! =-.
At least you’re comfortable with where you’re at – well, emotionally, not the sketchy streets you keep driving down. Though probably best you haven’t become comfortable there, that’d be a terrible self-defense mechanism.
I know how you feel. I think I’m the only one who really knows how unsafe the roads can be so I’m the only one who is going to take the precautions necessary to keep the kids safe.
I am not a fan of even hubs driving the kids without me in the car. I mean “shoot the gap” should now be removed from his driving vocabulary! My neighbors think I am crazy for being so sensitive about not joining carpools or anything. I just can’t let go….and I don’t plan to anytime soon. You are not alone!
.-= Brittany at Mommy Words´s last blog ..Tuckered Out by Disney =-.
seriously??
Yes, sorry. FYI.
I completely understand that! I have a lot of trouble relinquishing control too. I can’t imagine how it will be once my kids are older and driving themselves! *tear tear*
I also babysit and the lady I babysit for is so sad that she isn’t home to get her kids off the bus, start their homework, talk about their day, etc.
.-= Shay @ Wonderfully Chaotic´s last blog ..Educating Friends & Family About Homeschooling =-.
LOL @ your husband hearing about this through your blog. That happens to us all the time. You aren’t crazy, I was that way a long time too. BUT you hired this girl for a reason. You need help, she has a job to do. You trust them all day with people at school, I say give this to her. You can do it!
.-= Angie´s last blog ..Holy Double Digits Batman! Jude is 10! =-.
I’ve always had in-home daycare and let them cart my kid around if they had to go to a doctor appointment – that’s it though. She doesn’t take him shopping or anything (that I know of!) – I honestly don’t think she’d want to!
I think it’s sweet that you want to be the first person to see your kids after school. I get upset sometimes when my husband picks up my 2.5 yr old from daycare because I miss walking in the door and getting bombarded by him! It is addicting :)
.-= Momma Drama´s last blog ..My Non-Zumba =-.
I know what you mean. I don’t think we’re ever ready. I just don’t want to miss a minute, that’s all.
.-= Alexandra´s last blog ..Flaming Skulls in the Sky =-.
THANK YOU. So nice to know I’m not the only one with control issues. It’s hard letting go, isn’t it? I mean, who will be there for them when they leave for college?? Actually, I don’t think I’ll ever want to know the answer to that question.
Hilarious that Jeff found out online. :)
I hear ya on the control issues!! I was a wreck the first time my kids had a school field trip and I couldn’t help chaperone.
And I HATE not seeing them right after school!
I’m right there with you. I wouldn’t be able to let that go either. YOUR the momma, you have evry right to see them first.
At least that’s what I would tell myself.
.-= Allison´s last blog ..Graham Crackers =-.
I kinda feel like the odd person out – I have never even given it a second thought about who my daughter rides with. Actually, I remember when Mads was just an infant – I would let my 18 year old sister pick her up from the sitters, if I was going to be getting home late from work. It made me nervous – but then I realized that I was just a likely to get in an accident with Mads in the car as anyone else.
Our lives and everything that has to happen in a day just doesn’t allow me the possibility to have that much control. But, I have to admit, there is a small part of me that kind of wishes I knew what it was like to be able to have that kind of control of things. I can count on one hand the number of times my job has allowed me to pick up Mads from the sitters.
.-= HaB´s last blog ..Catching Up =-.
You are not alone. I’m not ready to relinquish that kind of control, either. It would be nice to have that extra hour to work, but at what price? You’d probably just be like me and spend it worrying/stressing…
.-= Erin´s last blog ..Introducing Our New Green Stamp of Approval, or, A Fun Button I Know You’ll Want to Use in Your Own GREEN Post! =-.
You say crazy. I say super sweet.
.-= LiLu´s last blog ..Mojo. =-.
That’s just being a MOM. Really. So relax. Enjoy.
.-= lceel´s last blog ..Monday Meanders 5-3 =-.
First of all, I think it is hysterically that your hubby found out through your blog. Second of all, I totally agree with not letting anyone else drive my kids. It is just too scary out there and yes people are bad drivers. And lastly, you could always have the sitter still come to your house at 3:00pm and put her to work!
.-= Rachel´s last blog ..Recipe of the Week: My Mama’s Vegetable Risotto =-.
I don’t remember being that protective with other people driving my kids, but now that they both are driving on their own, I am always a wreck until they are home. They’re both very good drivers, but it’s the other crazies on the road I worry about.
.-= Tara R.´s last blog ..Baby bird update… =-.
I have the same driving-next-to-trucks issue and bad sense of direction! I really don’t have a problem with other people driving my kids around, though. It has never really bothered me. I have only let them go with people I trust, and I know that anyone can get in an accident – even me. Actually, my husband was driving my son a few years ago and they were hit head-on by a driver who fell asleep at the wheel, and our son suffered a traumatic head injury. He is fine now, and it didn’t stop me from letting him get in the car with people other than me. Maybe it’s because I hate driving. Unless I’m by myself with the music cranked. :-)
I am loving Jeff’s response. :) Totally made my day. I am just thrilled to hear that you found someone to help out for a few hours in the afternoon (inevitably the toughest hours of the day!!)
.-= Lolli´s last blog ..Mental Health Day (Again?!) =-.
Oh, and for the record, I cannot stand driving next to anything bigger than my car and I hate retaining walls with no shoulder. Ugh! Drives me crazy. And I despise driving at night just as much.
Your trip to pick up the kids will be a nice break in the day, don’t you think?
.-= Lolli´s last blog ..Mental Health Day (Again?!) =-.
I totally get why you want to pick up the kids! That’s when I learn about everything that has happened at school! By the time they get home, it’s often difficult to pull info out of them. :)
.-= Lynn from For Love or Funny´s last blog ..It’s all your fault. =-.
I am the same way. I’ve told Jon it is much better for us to let me drive everywhere. Really. Our marriage depends on it. LOL
.-= Missy´s last blog ..Forgiveness =-.
I’ve always heard the most important times to be there for your kids are during the crossroads. It will make a difference – for you and for them. It’s nice that you have the choice – hopefully the new arrangement will work out.
.-= Liz´s last blog ..Shelving =-.
I could hardly let my HUSBAND drop my son off at preschool this year — even though it made my life SO MUCH EASIER. I said no. I cried. I was mopey those mornings. It’s okay. Or you have good company. (well, me, at least. and i’m good company. AND I have weird depth perception issues. seriously. i cant let me son swing something near me because i keep thinking that it’ll hit me. even though it wont.)
.-= Alex´s last blog ..My Son Guest Blogs But I Refuse To Rename The Website I Eat Sand =-.
I’m with you! My son is 16 and I still have trouble letting him drive with others…and I’m working real hard on letting go, because he’s 16. He’s not driving yet, we’re delaying, delaying, delaying.
.-= theprincessblogger´s last blog ..Teresa–The Prequel =-.
I run a home daycare and don’t have a car big enough for all of my daycare kids. As a direct result, I have been making up excuse after excuse as to why I haven’t started looking at preschools for my 2 1/2 year old. I can’t stand the thought of someone else dropping off/picking up and missing out on talking to his teachers. Also, I VERY rarely let anyone drive him anywhere, including his dad. Partly because I’m a major control freak (which is no secret) and partly because I feel like if, god forbid, he ever was in an accident and I was driving I would know that I did everything in my power to avoid it, but if someone else was driving I would not know that and I am always afraid I would blame them if anything happened. That might border on neurotic, paranoid, control freak…I’m okay with that.
I think being able to be the first person your kids see when they get out of school is such an awesome luxury that too many parents aren’t lucky enough to enjoy!!!
You are such a great Mom.
I LOVE that picture.
Sensational!
.-= Life with Kaishon´s last blog ..Peaceful =-.
You totally look like Sophia Loren in that photo. For real. I have a friend that is like that about her kids. I just try not to think too hard about it.
.-= Jennifer´s last blog ..My kids could teach Mother Nature lessons in destruction. =-.
Thank you for proving that I am not alone.
Yep. I completely get you.
I would still be driving my 21, and 20 year old around if I could.
My 15 year old just got his temps and I am afraid I will have to being consuming copious amounts of chocolate to survive.
(Being the first one to see their faces……..almost as good as chocolate)
I always knew you were a complete softie. I love this story.
.-= angie´s last blog ..My Field Trip =-.
Oh I hear you. If I had it my way, my kids would live with me until… forever. Actually I’d also love to have my mom and grandmother move in, too. At least, I wish we all lived on the same street together! ;)
They are still young. You have a LOT of time.
.-= Anthony from CharismaticKid´s last blog ..The New Parent: Bob Novogratz from “9 by Design” =-.
My GPS? Gets me lost on purpose, I’m sure of it. No matter that my sense of direction by myself is, shall we say, pitiful. It’s her, that voice. She hates me.
.-= Stacia´s last blog ..Splitting Heirs =-.
I know exactly what you mean! I’m so horrible at fearing for my toddlers’ safety that when I’m not driving them, I’m still doing my duty as an obnoxious back-seat driver. SO much so, that my 2YO, who can’t ride a bike, CAN back-seat drive! Now another thought for your Nanny: you could give her a driving test and see if she can successfully drive you round town with out triggering the back-seat driver reflex. If she passes, you might have a win-win. If not, you’ll have a very interesting post to share.
.-= Melodramommy´s last blog ..URGENT CARE-LESS: When the Doctor Wants to Wash Her Hands of Mommy =-.
I feel quite the same way. And I don’t know about you, but the husband part really gets me. I mean, I should be able to feel secure in the father of my child driving her around, but he’s an idiot. He never takes her presence into account and still drives like the young 20something he is.
.-= The Wifey´s last blog ..A Wifey Giveaway! with CSN Stores =-.
I’m exactly the same way. I’m fine with me and with Joe driving the girls, but no one else. The only time my parents have ever driven them was once when they watched my oldest while I was in the hospital, and they snuck a drive in. I remind them of this often.
.-= LZ´s last blog ..I didn’t almost forget my daughter at the playground. Not even close. =-.
We have an afterschool sitter too (otherwise I’d need to leave work at 2:30 pm and I would love to if I could!). I didn’t even think about this until now. Uh oh.
.-= subWOW´s last blog ..WTF Wednesday: A great week to be a misanthrope =-.