Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy
@scarymommy
Latest posts by Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy (see all)
- The Disney Reveal - May 14, 2013
- Met My Match At Disney… - May 13, 2013
- Sunday’s Baltimore Sun - May 11, 2013
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I love being a mom to boys. I am the Queen in my house, there is no boobs, no bras, no PMS, except mine, no periods, no paying for outlandish weddings, and no attitudes. Plus playing with trucks and trains and all that is so much more fun that tea parties and dolls. When you have a boy you only have to worry about ONE boy, when you have a girl you have to worry about ALL the boys.
Another bonus for me…. potty training falls on dad. I don’t have that kind of equipment, so I couldn’t tell you how to use it or wipe it or aim it. So I will change all the diapers in the world, but when it comes to anything bathroom and potty related it’s all dad.
That is, until…the cleaning!
I will tell you right here and now that I would rather stab myself in the eye repeatedly with a dull pencil than clean a bathroom “inhabited” by my 2 young boys.
I walked in there the other day, and there were so many things that struck me. First, the gobs of toothpaste in the sink. I could brush a thousand camels teeth with the amount of toothpaste that was in that sink. Second, the stench was atrocious. Uggghhh what IS that smell? Oh Lovely it looks like no one has flushed the toilet in 3 days! That has got to be the smell. So I flush.
As I am about to turn to go get the “toilet cleaning supplies” something catches my eye….what is that? It looks like….like Saturn’s Rings. Around my toilet, Saturn’s Rings. No, not around the inside of the bowl….the outside, on the floor.
I am immediately disgusted, eww really?
“THOMAS AND CHRISTOPHER? Get in here, NOW!”
“What is this?” I ask as I am pointing to the floor.
They both fighting for a spot to see.
Almost in unison “Pee” they say
“Pee? Do you not know how to pee in the potty? Did Daddy not teach you how to get it in the toilet?” I asked
“Yeah, but brother peed on the floor and I just peed on top of his” Thomas said.
“So that makes it better?” I asked my oldest
“But he did it first!” Thomas says
“Ok I get that, and I get that you are some sort of dog that you need to pee on top of his pee to top him, but no one could tell me? And it’s dry, when did this happen?” I said
“After you cleaned the bathroom last time” Christopher pipes up.
To top it off, literally, my oldest chimes in with “I didn’t exactly pee on top of his, he started on one side and didn’t have enough pee to make it around to the other, so I helped”
I don’t know weather to term them dogs fighting to mark their territory or the cat that craps in the litter box the minute you clean it.
And that is just my children, don’t even get me started on my husband.
{ 55 comments… read them below or add one }
Erin! I so love seeing you here today!
And as a mom of a newly potty trained boy, may I just say: eeewwwwww!
:)
{Fabulous post, friend!}
Galit Breen recently posted..Together Quiet
Oh I can see where I am heading too :(. I gave birth to a baby boy 6 mnths ago :)
Oh. Crap. I have a 2 year old boy and another on the way.
I better steel myself.
Alison@Mama Wants This recently posted..Guest Star: Bruna of Bees With Honey
Ewww… I remember my brother admitting that he’d lifted the seat and used it as a target.
Becca recently posted..In Which Becca Discusses Boobs, Again
I thought having one boy using the potty was bad enough. Now I have to look forward to two boys putting their heads together to destroy the bathroom. It’s a sad day.
Ugh! I have 2 boys and I am constantly scrubbing urine out of my tiles, grout, etc…..disgusting
http://lgoogoogaga.wordpress.com/2012/02/05/facebook-status-updates-mom-of-the-year-edition/
Lady goo goo gaga recently posted..Facebook Status Updates – Mom of the Year Edition
Totally relate to this. Sounds like the conversation I had with my son after I busted him peeing in the trash can NEXT to the toilet. Blech.
Rebeccah recently posted..Hot Water Sets Egg
I’ll take my girls over this ANY day. LOL
Dawn recently posted..STOP!
Potty training the 2 yr old now and so not looking forward to his nastiness. It’s apparent in so many other things now, I can only imagine where he’ll think it’s ok to pee. Also, I am COMPLETELY laughing (thank you!) at your boys’ explanation.
Arnebya recently posted..McDonald’s Robs Toddlers
I aleslutoby HATE moving. It’s like finger nails on a chalk board. I’d be happy to stay put for the rest of my life. Although, I need new carpet, and that is just like moving out…
How funny! My 2 1/2 year old keeps pulling down his pants outside – in public to pee. It’s so embarrassing, but he’s so proud of his newly learned skill, urinating standing up with his pants around his ankles.
Being a mother of boys is mainly about cleaning up pee, even if you’re the ONLY person in the house who doesn’t seem to have a problem getting theirs in the toilet
Helen Spencer recently posted..Life’s a Journey. Week 5: Teenage Crushes
My boys’ bathroom is in a similar state & I finally told DH it was on him to clean it. He’s the one who supposedly taught them bathroom etiquette during potty training. Therefor their failure is his failure & he has to clean up after it. Their failure to pick up after themselves is my failure & I have to clean up after that so it’s only fair.
We do have the issue of having to worry about ALL the girls though & trust me, they can be just as bad as the boys. My oldest is 9 & he’s getting calls from girls who “like” him already. 9! He barely understands the difference between liking & “liking” and they are already all up in his grill about it. Who lets their 9 year old DD hit on boys?
I used to be a nanny for a little boy (toddler, still in diapers–I didn’t get to the potty training stage with him). And I do love little boys. But this post makes me so glad Baguette is a girl! (Although she’s a toddler still in diapers, so what do I know?)
Tragic Sandwich recently posted..It’s My Party and I’ll Sleep If I Want To
i have two older boys and a little girl, and i’ll admit, for most things, boys are easier. but when it comes to the bathroom, i’m oh so happy i won’t have to worry about 3 boys using the same spot!
Uh oh. I’ve got two boys in diapers. I think we’ll plastic the entire house.
Stephanie recently posted..The Littlest Valentines: A Guest Post by Farrah of The Three Under
Love this post, and can totally relate. I have 2 boys, they are older, but I still have the same problems. My bathrooms smell like urine, no matter what I do.
This made me giggle. My boys are now 21 and 19. My heart goes out to you, because this doesn’t change as they get older. I love boys!!!!
I feel your pain! I have two little boys and their bathroom is always a disaster area. I did have to potty train though because their dad is completely uninvolved.
Lindsey recently posted..Super Bowl Middle Finger Malfunction?
Try 4 boys aged 12.5 years to 11 months. SO MUCH FUN!!!!
Catherine S recently posted..Tooth invaders
Catherine – I am RIGHT THERE WITH YOU….. 4 boys as well, just turned 12 to just turned a year. Their father is absolutely no better…. I swear, sometimes I just want to put down puppy training pads for them!!!! lol
I hear you! I have three boys and I tried banishing them to the upstairs bathroom only but it only worked for about two hours. Now I’m considering an outhouse. At what age will this end??
Mine are 19 and 22. Years ago I went on strike and refused to ever again clean a toilet. My argument is that I don’t make a mess so I’m not cleaning up after any of the men in my life. So, my boys do their toilet, which they share, but only when we make them. My husband does all the rest in the house, but very rarely. We also limited my boys to two bathrooms for a long time. How do they manage to miss the toilet so much!!
Karen@WaistingTime recently posted..The Quick Brown Fox Types Without Looking
Love my two boys, but when it comes to cleaning the bathrooms I divvy up the work. They each get one toilet to clean, and the floor and the walls around it. I do the sinks and the tubs as long as they don’t pee in them, and only after they’ve done their part (so I don’t have to smell it!).
As for potty training, both their dad and I taught them to pee sitting down. They figured out the standing part all on their own. It must come naturally!
PattiH recently posted..Is it spring yet?
My DH taught my DS “swordfighting.” I was not happy.
That is hilarious! I’m so glad my husband has not taught our boys to do that!
Bahahahahaha – at least the toothpaste was in the sink – in my boys bathroom it somehow gets on the walls :)
The toothpaste is not just a boy thing! I have 2 girls, and have found toothpaste EVERYWHERE! Including the ceiling!
OMG I could have written this! I have three boys (youngest is 2, other two are 7 and 6) and I’ve never seen the pee ring. What I have seen, however, is the dried puddles of pee around where the toilet bolts to the floor (you know that nasty area where nobody ever wants to get down and clean?!). The toilet is right next to the tub and there’s very little room to stand, so HOW is it getting down there?? There are no dried pee trails down the side of the bowl. When I walk in their bathroom and notice that it smells like the mens room at a gas station, I know to check the base of the toilet. (I know what a mens room at a gas station smells like because I worked as a cashier at the local mini-mart while in college, and part of my job was cleaning the restrooms.) I also find toothpaste blobs on the counter and occasionally the floor. I rarely see any in the sink. What I find in the sink is a trail of dried toothpaste bubbles that they spit out, allow to run down the inside of the sink, and let it dry. That %&$# is hard to scrub off!
I only have boys (3 & 15 months). My oldest just started sitting on the seat backwards and peeing all over the back of the seat along with standing and peeing everywhere. There is nothing more exciting than sitting in pee and not realizing it until you get up. Recently I lifted the toilet seat to find a pile of pee just sitting there waiting for me to clean it. I find boys more exhausting when younger so I look forward to the calm days without the pee.
Rita @ Healthy Mom, Sexy Wife recently posted..5 Reasons to Workout
Oh Erin… this is why I am glad I have girls! Not that girls don’t do disgusting stuff… I just don’t find Saturn rings around my toilet.
I can relate. I have four boys and they *still* miss the bowl and hit the seat and even, yes, the lid. The girls aren’t much better, they trickle on the front of the seat.
Did I mention that all but one of them are teenagers? The five year old I can forgive. The rest of them? Hell no.
Also, I am the *only* one who cleans that bathroom. None of the kids will touch it and I can’t say I blame them!
Zee recently posted..Mr19 Turns Twenty.
*EDIT* Forgot that the eldest is actually twenty and therefore not a teen. In my defence, his birthday was only this week, lol. Oops :-)
Zee recently posted..Mr19 Turns Twenty.
Haha! Boys are so gross! My boys and my husband have killed the monkey grass on the side of our house because they feel the need to “water” the grass every time they pass it.
Amanda recently posted..Loose Teeth and Blood Filled Mouths
Sometimes I read this and am amazed that my mom and mum-in-law seem to have raised the only 6 men in the universe who can aim. Followed by 3 grandsons that can and one who is little enough he still sits.
I think part of it was never living in houses with more than one bathroom and learning to keep it clean enough, not just for Mom, but for guests. At all times. Being set the task of scrubbing the whole bathroom as soon as the not yet dried pee competition is discovered may have helped.
I love this post, I have a two year old son who I just finish potty training. I guess this will be something that I have to look forward to when he is older.
Great post
Shirley recently posted..Party Yourself into Shape
I’m going to have two boys soon but we don’t have a kids’ bathroom, so… that’ll be fun.
When I was growing up with had baseboard radiators, and one in the bathroom right next to the toilet. My brother used to miss the toilet and hit the radiator, and when the heat came on to cook his pee it smelled like an animal had died in there. On a regular basis.
Erin recently posted..Snow Bunny
I’m so glad I have girls! Sure there’s drama and the occasional emotional uproar, but they never, ever pee’d on the floor. My doctor has 5 boys, now grown. She already had 3 boys, then her and her husband thought they’d give it one more shot for a girl -BOOM – Twin Boys! I have even more respect for her now.
i am a mother of 3 boys (only 1 is potty trained so far) and a 12 yr old step son. (then there is also my hubby and the dog – also male)
why am I the one that cleans the bathroom?
I have 2 girls, and yes, all we do is have tea parties and play with dolls. On a wild day we plait our hair and stroke fluffy bunnies…
Green Mama recently posted..Green Mama becomes…
YES! That’s all my girls and I do! We like to put on dresses, knit and sit calmly by the fire, while we wait for the men to get back from the field…We look forward to the day that we can vote and do crazy activities like playing with trucks and trains! *sigh* when WILL that day come?
Ugh! I’ve got two boys and I just cleaned similar rings around our toilet this morning. I love it when they see me cleaning it up and ask me what I’m doing…guess that’s a sign I need to get them to do it!
Mommy Inconsistent recently posted..15 Minutes Of Fun
I think you may have… *borrowed* my sons, that sounds so much like bathroom conversations we have had. If I make it to their adulthood without puking all over the bathroom floor while cleaning, it’ll be a miracle. Yick!
Jadzia@Toddlerisms recently posted..Time To Start Shopping At Wal-Mart (Or, Meet the Cugina)
I have 7 year old boy/girl twins. The boy was leaving Saturn Rings until I made him start cleaning their bathroom. He decided to start sitting to pee so he wouldn’t have to clean as often. He was still stuck cleaning until he figured out he had to hold it down so pee wouldn’t spray between the bowl and the seat. Now it isn’t to bad in there as long as you don’t look at the toothpaste trail. Sigh.
Even worse is when they hold it in too long, can’t get their pants down fast enough and start going like a bouncing firehouse. All. Over. The. Bathroom.
I was just thinking about doing a smelly bathroom post. :)
Tanya recently posted..Boy Toys, Part 1
We have a rule in my house. “If you pee on it, you clean it.” I keep Clorox wipes on the back of the toilet, and The Boy has to wipe down the toilet seat (or whatever) when he “misses.”
I need to start that rule. Funny how the easiest solutions are sometimes also to easiest to overlook. :)
Tanya recently posted..Boy Toys, Part 1
I have one boy and 1 girl. The boy’s bathroom and bedroom are pretty tidy for a 7 year old. The girl’s bathroom and bedroom is gross gross gross! Also. I have 3 sisters and 6 brothers. Yes i said 6. I don’t get all the anti girl stuff….from moms even…. My sisters where great and I am close to all of them. My brothers gave my parents nothing but heartache! Crashed cars, missed curfews, babies while still in high school ( 3 from the boys, none from us girls ) and the list goes on. So i’m going to have to call B.S. on the notion that girls
are harder than boys. And before the mothers of sons get upset that 9 year old girls are hitting on your son, do keep in mind that it takes 2. If your son was interested
and didn’t respond even slightly, the girl wouldn’t be interested. So lay off little girls, they’re fantastic and both boys and girls make the world go ’round! Now I’m going upstairs to kiss my tom-boy little girl’s messy head and my sweet loud little boy’s soft little cheek.
Piper — you said it. Nothing much to add. The boys do not own grief nor do the girls. The pendulum swings both ways.
mjhighroad recently posted..New Page
LOL. so glad to find out I am not the only one with boys and dirty toilets. My exmil didn’t teach my ex to lift the seat, so he didn’t teach my oldest to lift the seat, and my oldest didn’t teach my youngest to lift the seat. So I have to check before I sit. Gotta love boys.
Glad they were remorseful about their “Saturn Rings” and as much as I feel like this post calls for some kind of comment about Uranus…I just can’t go there!
Johanna recently posted..A Rose by Any Other Name
LOLOL! I’m glad I have one of each…I think 2 boys would be the end of me!
Headacheslayer recently posted..Welcome to The Crafty Angel!
Ok. I’m in the toilet training process with my little guy. I now know to keep an eye out for this. Thanks! Who would have thought! Not me.
Cassie recently posted..Open-Mouthed Kisses
I’ve been cleaning up puppy pee for the past several weeks, and I’m really glad I don’t have to clean up human pee too.
Suz recently posted..Stretchy Suz
This is hilarious. If my son is doing something fun, and he has to pee, he stands there and I swear he just turns away from the toilet and starts running back to his game before he is completely finished, just pulling up his pants as he goes. I don’t get boys…
His most impressive feat is when he is in the hot tub and needs to pee. He stands near the side (still in the hot tub) arches his back to stick “it” out as far as he can, and let’s it fly all over the deck. I can’t even imagine what it would be like if he had a brother and not a sister. I think she keeps him from, well, peeing on the floor like your sons!