Then, when walking home, she fell down and couldn’t get back up. She spent a good amount of time, apparently, lying helpless on the ground before someone helped her get to the hospital. The doctor, who published a report about it, noted to Yahoo! News that “We were surprised that this patient had such severe damage to her nerves and muscles.” Evidently tight pants can cause nerve lesions in the groin, but this was an order of magnitude worse: Squatting in the Olivia Newton-John jeans cut off the blood supply to her calves.
From the Journal of Neurology, Neurosurgery and Psychiatry: “There was bilateral, severe global weakness of ankle and toe movements, somewhat more marked on the right.” Her jeans had to be sliced off her so she could be treated.
The patient spent four days in the hospital (which is two days longer than I got for a C-section, but hey, she’s in Australia and I’m in the United States) and was still a little unsteady in her walking when she was released.
So jeans that tight might work as long as you stay totally upright, I guess, but wearing them for any kind of activity—like packing up cupboards or crouching over a toddler—might not be such hot idea. But the best solution might come from Slate reporter Ben Mathis-Lilley: Let’s take a tip from our toddlers and “never, ever wear pants.”