Are we all in agreement that men are the lazier of the two sexes? The slightly less competent, less capable versions of women? Yes? Yes.
So, why is it that God or evolution or whatever forces ironed out our human forms, decided to gift men with the piece of anatomy that requires precision and effort while urinating?
It’s just not right, if you ask me.
Now, don’t get me wrong: I am very thankful to have been born with a vagina. I’ll gladly take the aches and pains of menstrual cramps, childbirth, and leg shaving for the trade-off of donning lipstick, birthing children and adding an extra few inches to my frame with heels. Plain and simple, I enjoy being a girl.
But, I often marvel at the fact that my husband seems incapable of replacing the roll of toilet paper correctly or mastering the simple recycling process. He can’t seem to do anything with precision, so why expect him to master a bull’s eye with his penis? Especially at two o’clock in the morning… in the dark? It seems an awful lot to ask, doesn’t it?
As I wean the second of my boys off of diapers, I’m wondering if I should save years of frustration for both myself, my house-cleaner and my children’s future partners by insisting that they pee sitting down. Masculine, it’s not, but the trade-off may indeed be worth it. Because, really, I’m just not sure men are cut out for something so complex. And I can think of far better ways to spend an afternoon than cleaning up mis-aimed pee.
Previous post: Taste Taster
Next post: The stuff nightmares are made of
{ 54 comments }
← Previous Comments
Um….AMEN. That’s all.
.-= Alison´s last blog ..Happy Birthday Sis!!! =-.
What worked for me was to have them sit on the toilet facing the tank. It automatically forces them to lean forward aiming their penis towards the water. This works for a while. Then when aim is better or maturity sets in they can stand. I have a friend who taught her son to sit when he was little and today his wife is a happy woman with clean toilets.
.-= julie´s last blog ..Kaden =-.
Do it! I regret having taught my 3 year old to pee standing up. I have to clean around the toilet, and the seat at least once a day. UGH.
.-= Angela´s last blog ..ATWT: Secret Beach =-.
That picture is AWESOME!!!
.-= dysfunctional mom´s last blog ..Not Feeling It Friday =-.
Thought about going the sitting down route too; Hubby vetoed it. Boo Hubby. Decided that I will just have my own, male free toilet and they can all go to the same one and turn it into a ballpark bathroom if they want. I’m actually thinking about putting a urinal in our basement bathroom. They call it the man cave anyway, so think it’ll be perfect!
.-= parentingbydummies´s last blog ..This Week @ PBD =-.
LOL @seattledad!!
Yeah, when men are in it, to win it – they get it right!
.-= Futureblackmail´s last blog ..NO WORDS =-.
What if you keep a cup near the toilet? Guys can stand up, hold the cup close to their “area,” pee in the cup, and then dump contents of cup into toilet?
Or is that too many steps? And then who will clean the smelly cup?
Maybe not a good solution, after all.
.-= Lynn from For Love or Funny´s last blog ..Go away =-.
Because when evolution or God or whatever made the penis, the toilet was not yet invented. He (?) was only accounting for the laziness. Even worse to me than bad aim, is the wet spot on the underwear from NOT WIPING. I swore I was going to teach my boy to wipe himself after going pee but my husband intervened…
.-= Rachel´s last blog ..To Whom It May Concern, =-.
I trained a “sitter” but then he saw some boys at school going the other way and wanted to be like them. Dammit. Someone is always ruining it for me. Last time I let my kid out in public… ; )
P.S. My husband usually sits here at home (he’s better trained…) hee hee…
.-= Elaine´s last blog ..Announcements Galore Giveaway! =-.
I made my then-husband teach my boys how to pee INTO the toilet when they were little. I have to say, that was the ONE (and just about only) thing that my now-ex could do right.
I’m serious here, folks.
.-= Teri´s last blog ..Flashback Friday – Hello Up There =-.
I agree with you wholeheartedly (says the gal with 4 males in her Trenches).
.-= Trenches of Mommyhood´s last blog ..Not Liking It (Yet) =-.
This is so true. Great post!
.-= Debbie in Nashville´s last blog ..Homemade Sushi =-.
SO true! That lineup picture is hilarious. I’m potty training my two year old and he’s sitting down, to start with. I don’t think it will cause major damage at the ripe ol’ age of two and it’s a hella lot less cleanup, that’s for sure!
.-= Gabrielle Valentine´s last blog ..The Abusive Relationship And…My Father. Someone Go Find Dr. Phil, Please. =-.
I’ve only got girls, and I’ve got to tell you – even THEY misfire pretty often when potty training.
Do the sit-down. They’ll learn to pee standing up in Junior High.
.-= Andrea’s Sweet Life´s last blog ..Who Are You, Anyway? =-.
Ya know what, my Dad still pees sitting down. Not that I like talking about how my Dad pees but I just know because we have all laughed about it before. He says it’s because he was always in a house full of girls.
Oh, no, I am doomed. I thought Darin was bad, I didn’t even THINK about Oscar. As it is he’s hit me with that nice warm stream a few times when I’ve been changing his diaper.
.-= Sandy´s last blog ..Confessions of an Invisible Woman =-.
oh my God you have me laughing so hard! yup, every time i have to clean the bathroom floors i wonder the same darn thing :)
.-= Lizzie´s last blog ..When Bloggers Collide =-.
OMG that is hilarious. We used to teach the little boys in our sunday school class that I was a helper in, to shoot at the cheerios floating the pool. It helped with their aim~ he he he
.-= Step Fabulous´s last blog ..The Great Return =-.
Too funny-I really enjoyed this post as I posted myself on Monday about how my three boys miss more often than not, and how I am always stuck without toilet paper, using anything from tp in the garbage can to an empty toilet paper roll, to a spare sock. gotta do what ya gotta do!
.-= Kelly Smith´s last blog ..Lessons in the city… =-.
That is one of the funniest posts I have ever read! Thank you for such a great blog!
← Previous Comments
Comments on this entry are closed.