Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy
@scarymommy
Latest posts by Jill Smokler, AKA Scary Mommy (see all)
- The Disney Reveal - May 14, 2013
- Met My Match At Disney… - May 13, 2013
- Sunday’s Baltimore Sun - May 11, 2013
If you’re anywhere on the east coast, you’re painfully aware that there’s a storm coming. Hurricane Sandy will be the storm of the century, they’re saying. Frankenstorm. Like nothing you have ever seen or will likely see again. Well, fuck.
School is already cancelled for tomorrow and it’s pretty much a given that we’ll be without power for several days at the least. Instead of completely freaking out, I’m taking action. Here’s my idea of storm preparedness, which can really be used for any future storm…
1. Let my children watch as much TV as they want in the hours leading up to the storm, so their brains have actually turned to mush by the time the power goes out.
2. Let them play video games until they can barely see straight in preparation for the technology detox that is sure to occur.
3. Stock up on plenty of wine.
4. And Xanax.
5. And Advil.
6. Pick up every last Lego from the floor.
7. Bathe them like they have never been bathed before.
8. Ensure that there are three of every snack, flashlight and glow stick to minimize sibling bickering.
9. Rid the house of all unbearably annoying battery operated toys. I refuse to be pushed over the edge by an annoying Buzz Light Year who won’t shut the hell up.
10. Spend as much time away from my children as possible before the storm hits.
Good luck, moms. See you on the other end.
{ 56 comments… read them below or add one }
I’m on the couch with a glass of wine while my 2 year old watches Dispicable Me. For the second time. I knew I liked you!!!! :)
I dug out all things play doh to occupy my 3 daughters ( 4,3 &2).
My husband and I just got back from a weekend trip to the Finger Lakes in New York! We picked up plenty of wine to hold us over!
yes, our list is similar. i also went today and got some new puzzles and books which should keep them busy for five minutes. Y’know, I’m gonna be optimistic… TEN minutes.
Anna recently posted..31 Days of Halloween: Day 27 – Hurricane Sandy Don’t be Another Snow-tober
I stocked up on bottled water, batteries, junk food & red wine. You gotta be prepared.
Victoria KP recently posted..Broken but Getting Better
Seriously wishing DH would have picked me up a bottle of Vodka. DD has been home since Thursday due to a chest cold and is already driving me nuts.
This is a must have suvival list for surviving a North Dakota blizzard with children also! Ur survival guide is WAYYY better then our winter survival guide…will be using urs instead if u dont mind lol
The same could be said of Minnesota. At least with some blizzards though, they can still play outside!
I’m with you. Just because I love my children doesn’t mean I am not aware of who and what they are in times of boredom/perceived boredom/whininess/etc. Yeah. There is rum, advil, paint, crayons, books, paper, more books, boardgames and all that. The question is…how to keep hubby happy? He’s worse than the kids without his electronics!
Rebekah C recently posted..Snippets of Funny
I’m lying in my bed alone, watching 60 Minutes, dreading the next few days.
Why can you say the things you say and still sound nice, Scary Mommy? When these things come out of my mouth, it’s like venom to everyone else.
Holly recently posted..When There Are No Words
So sad and so true. I learned to clam up a lot in grade school. Had a vile principal that taught me that. I think we get it thru our mother’s milk, as infants that we have to be outwardly strong for our families, and that means that we can’t complain.
Good list! I especially like the idea of spending time away from the kids before you can’t get away (I wouldn’t think of that). I remember living in Maine when Hurricane Gloria was coming. We prepped for the worst-and made sure we had plenty to do so we wouldn’t go nuts (My sister and I were in elementary school at the time). By the time it reached us it was a tropical storm, and we never actually lost power. I hope that’s what happens this time too!
I think I may steal your guide as well in case we have some blizzards here in the heartland this winter! :-)
The Sadder But Wiser Girl recently posted..I Need An Adult!
Sounds about right.
Beth recently posted..The Thing About Living at the Jersey Shore
I have no idea why they are calling this a Frankenstorm. Frankenstein was afraid of fire, not water.
I’d hide all the annoying toys too. I’d also not bother to clean the house either.
And I’d buy baby wipes, and trash bags. Not going to be able to flush the toilet, gonna be rough without power.
Hope everyone stays safe.
Regina recently posted..Pumpkin Dip
Frankenstorm… because it’s three different storms colliding…
And toilets will flush without power. They’re not electric.
I guess watching cartoons most of the time, I didn’t realize 3 storms were colliding.
We live in the country here and the toilets will flush, but there will be no water if there is no electricity. So given the choice of having water to drink or flush, I’d go with drinking.
Thanks for the insite though!
Regina recently posted..Pumpkin Dip
OMG! I’d die! Fill the bathtubs with water, so you have enough for flushing!
I hope Frankenstorm treats you well!
I’d be worried about flooding in lower Manhattan, but I’m freaking out over the prosepect of being without power for a week with a 5yo in the house. I’ve stocked up on whisky and triscuits…let’s hope that saves us all. :)
I figure that we will spend at least half the day (thankfully) finishing up the Halloween costumes that we never got around to finishing yet. Now if only the storm is over before Halloween -damn, just remembered I didn’t buy candy yet. Let’s hope Walgreens stays open!
Three cheers for tv, video games & fully-charged eletronics!
We are so fortunate — our circa 1904 home is on the power line that runs down one of our ‘burbs two main thoroughfares, so we rarely lose power for more than a few hours. Unfortunately, this also means our neighbors are too often left cursing us while they sit in the dark looking out at our bright windows.
Just in case, I made sure the DH gave our generator a test run this weekend and filled up the gasoline jug — I don’t want to risk any interruption of the Harry Potter marathon I’m planning for our no-school Monday.
Lollie ~ The Fortuitous Housewife recently posted..Topsy Turvy Brain…Thanks, ADD
hmmm… just how do plan to keep the kids plugged to the TV if there is no power? I ask not to be a wiseass but because I AM ON THE EAST COAST and NEED to know….
Lots of luck to everyone in the path of this horrible storm.
All I can do is nod.
Yep, yep, yep.
cyndy recently posted..Quick Frags
Brilliant. It’s possible I didn’t tell the kids before bed that school is cancelled for tomorrow. Why have them up late unnecessarily? Praying we don’t lose power too early tomorrow…(we are outside Boston)
We were without power for about six weeks in July & August from the big storm, without any warning or preparation, so I’m not worried. After that fiasco, I know I can handle anything. My kids are 4, 20 months, and 5 months. =)
I think you need to treat it like survivalist training. Everyone gets a flashlight, a canteen of water, a box of granola bars and is on their own.
We got the school cancellation call when both of our children were out. My husband & I decided not to tell them just to play with their minds, but, given the lightening speed with which kids know these things, they both texted us within 5 mtes of the phone call, asking if they could come home later. Took the opportunity to have several drinks and sort our excess Halloween candy (north of Boston, our town moved trick or treat to tonight).
I’m in denial apparently. I am ok with the missing work or school thing, but take away my power and I am a worthless. Wishing everyone safety during the next few days. Stock up on some good booze so if nothing else, you can catch a buzz through this shit.
Kiran
Kiran@masalachica recently posted..Family – Part 1
Cases upon cases of chocolate!
Here in the Lou, we’re thinking of all our E. Coast friends. Break out the board games, build a house of cards, learn how to play poker using Halloween candy as chips, build a fort with pillows and cushions, make no-bake apricot balls, and that should get you through one morning. Repeat. Good luck Jill, and stay safe.
Ellie recently posted..Comment on My Favorite Funny Mom Books by Ellie S. Grossman
Thinking of you and Lego-free floors!
May you and your family stay safe and dry.
Alison recently posted..Be Kind
My kids still don’t know that school is cancelled. I sent them to bed at 8:30 last night so I could enjoy a few hours alone before all hell breaks loose.
We were thinking the same way!! (see yesterdays post) ‘Cept my title was way longer. hahaha ;)
After I stepped on a Lego (again) last night, yes pick up the legos AND any Barbie shoes. Those little heels can hurt.
Carolyn recently posted..Pumpkin and Coconut Soup
Haha what a great list :) We don’t get weather like this in the UK but we are really bad at dealing with any kind of extreme; this survival guide should be made common knowledge I think!
Susanne@babyhuddle recently posted..Things I have learned since becoming a mum
I’m just trying to get as much coffee in as possible before the power goes out. Stay safe!
Corey Feldman recently posted..Sex
Tip from someone who lived in Africa, where power outages were an everyday thing: have a fixed spot for candles and matches.
Good luck all!
Tinne from Tantrums and Tomatoes recently posted..Happy birthday
Towels. Because with all the extra water we have stocked up on, the kids are sure to find it and spill it all over the place. Just wait until my boys discover the bathtub full of emergency water. THEN we’ll see a REAL flood!!!
Mommy’s Always Write recently posted..Hurricane Checklist for Moms
Thinking about you guys, Jill! Fingers crossed for as minimal damage and time trapped in house as possible.
Nina recently posted..Confessions of a Lululemon Lemming
I always try to figure out the nearest mall that is likely to get power back first so we can have some sort of plan b. Oh, and board games. I like to stock up on some new board games for those powerless (me and energywise) moments.
Johanna recently posted..Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde Meet the Green-Eyed Monster
That is funny…. I have to image this is the plan for many a households!
We’re in Va and didn’t lose power, huge relief! Yes, survival = lots of TV and screen time. School was closed last week for parent teacher conferences. Today marked day SIX at home with my 2 and 4 year old active boys, with very little break for Mommy. Stick a fork in me, I’m so done! Hope you did okay with no power outages.
We have no heat (it has nothing to do with Sandy and everything to do with me saying fuck Washington Gas and them saying bitch please in return). Anyway, we’re making do with space heaters but it’s drafty. So, as for #7, my middle girl who’s still nursing a cold, hasn’t bathed since Saturday (Friday?)? My husband literally said today, “It’s like camp.”
Thankfully, Pepco hasn’t said “up yours” yet. Flickering, but still on.
I was so upset with me!!! I forgot to buy glow sticks but I sure did let them overdose of all things electronic before the power went! I endorse mushed brains LOL.
Gayletrini recently posted..A jug of juice
I think you people without power should use this time for some good old-fashioned family togetherness. Maybe some board games? Oh, or you could talk about your hopes and dreams for the future? Charades?
Ahhh – stop throwing darts at me. Those hurt!
Kristen Brakeman recently posted..Chopper: Our New One-Eyed Mutt
We all slept in the living room while the winds were high (with glow sticks for light), so I can cross that off the “free fun things to do with the family” list. Although, the glow sticks cost $2, so it wasn’t really “free.”
Lynn Kellan recently posted..Proof my dog is possessed.
These hurricanes are so scary. Yet east coasters wig out at the tornadoes that are commonplace to me. It’s all relative.
Barbara recently posted..Why I Quit The Paleo Diet & What’s Next
Hurricanes are fleeting (even if the damage left behind isn’t). Raising kids is a lot scarier: Which diapers, which bottles, which crib is safest? Which school is kindest? Which city is the least crime riddled? How are you going to talk to your kids about the hard stuff: Rape, drugs, and rock and roll? What is your answer going to be to the ever present question: Are we there yet? Are you going to let them have desserts? How much allowance should you be giving them, and which of their problems should you be solving?
If hurricanes weren’t so dangerous and didn’t leave so much destruction in their wakes, I could laugh in the face of hurricanes, and say that I’d trade one any day for even half the fears inherent in parenting.
Good luck Sister Moms, to all of you in Sandy’s path and out of it, and for all time.
I wonder if we will see a baby boom come in about 9 or 10 months.
Jack recently posted..The Halloween Tax & Posting Frequency
Great list! We definitely lucked out with no damage or blackout. Hope everyone stayed safe.
Here in wine country we were suppose to get hit with a part of Sandy. They had forcasted 100-120Km/hr winds. We were lucky this time. At max it hit 70km/hr. I noticed your list and I think great minds think alike. Wine is a must. Beer and coffee a must to keep my husband happy. The kids well I didn’t have glow stick but they had flashlights. It worked just as well. I must say I did forget about the lego off the floor and paid for that mistake. What can I say live and learn. :-)
Amber recently posted..NaBloPoMo is here! Need some inspiration?
Be prepared! The kids will want to sllep in the bed with you! My 3 drove me insane for Issac. We compromised and let them build a fort they could sleep in on the living room floor! We had to leave our bedroom door open of course!
Ha ha ha — amazing list. It took me a while to figure out WHY you were too keen on ‘cleaning’ the legos. As I said, it took me a while.
Mama and the City recently posted..Instagram And iPhone5, My Best Friends.
I think #10 was the key one. Hope you all are surviving okay!
Marta recently posted..The Bathtub.
It is hard to believe all the damage that hurricane Sandy did. I am sure many are wishing they had your list now. My brother who lives in NJ texted me that it is miserable. So sad!
So terribly sorry to all you parents who are suffering thru Sandy’s aftermath, just now. making light of the situation is a coping mechanism that doesn’t really help. All I can offer is my hope for a quick recovery of the traumatized regions and a reminder that your city governments eventually did do the right thing and cancelled the race in order to keep the efforts of first responders focused on helping those of you who are in ned, and the probably did so due in some part, to the strong public disapproval of their intent to carry on with the race under these conditions.