Target Hilariously Forced To ‘Evacuate’ Customers As Porn Plays Over The Intercom – Scary Mommy

Target Hilariously Forced To ‘Evacuate’ Customers As Porn Plays Over The Intercom

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Imagine you’re at your favorite store, walking around with a latte in your hand, and coming up with excuses to buy new throw pillows when all of the sudden you hear, “Attention, Target shoppers: you’ve all been very naughty and now it’s time for you to get spanked.”

That’s not exactly what happened at a San José Target store, but believe it or not, it’s pretty damn close.

California mom Gina Young was shopping with her twin sons yesterday when pornographic moaning began playing over her local Target’s intercom system. The x-rated sounds echoed across the store, along with some pretty explicit comments about “titties” and other things you might not want your preschoolers to hear. Turns out, it was audio from a porno that had been rigged up to play over the loudspeakers by an evil genius.

Young took video of her kids as the sounds played overheard. In the video, you can clearly hear moans and dirty talk from a pretty graphic sex scene. One of Young’s kids even starts crying, though as the Daily Mail reports, “it is unclear if he is upset by the noise or that his brother won’t let him hold a box of Pizza Poppers.” Pizza Poppers are serious business, you guys.

Young says other shoppers offered to help her cover her sons’ ears and she saw some customers just dropping their baskets and leaving. Employees were racing around, grabbing phones and hanging them up, trying to get the intercom to shut off. Eventually they just had to declare a state of porn emergency and start evacuating the store.

The store’s manager apologized profusely and an investigation is ongoing, but that hasn’t stopped some parents from being royally pissed at the impromptu sex education their kids received. One mom told Bay Area News her son kept asking “why are they hurting a lady” and she thinks employees didn’t try hard enough to stop the noise. Another shopper said he felt “personally violated.” As for Young, she told the news station she can “never look at Target the same way again,” though she still intends to shop there. You can’t keep us moms away, Target. Not even with your crazy sex tapes.

Obviously no parent wants their kid listening to Now That’s What I Call Kinky Sex, Volume 78 during a shopping trip — or ever — but you have to admit this is pretty hilarious. It’s not Target’s fault some random punk set up a stupid prank, and the store’s employees did the best they could in a crazy situation. It was a one-in-a-million random occurrence and the kids, though confused and probably newly aware of the F-word, are going to be just fine.

To hear the NSFW audio, you can watch Young’s video here.